Alone, Beautifully – Chapter 145
by Little PandaJust Like the First Meeting (2)
“Please remember my name.”
Faced with Xu Jiao’s rare emotional questioning, the system’s response remained very calm, almost the same as before:
“You’ll know in the future.”
In the future.
Always in the future.
It seemed as if, in the system’s eyes, its origin was not a question Xu Jiao needed to worry too much about, and eventually, she would find out the answer. So when it responded, instead of trying to cover up or divert attention, its tone was more about not caring at all.
It seemed that from start to finish, it was just an observer that couldn’t have any influence on Xu Jiao.
For a moment, Xu Jiao remembered a long time ago when she first entered her book world. The system observed many of her actions and didn’t understand her attitude towards the female lead. However, no matter what she did, the system never interfered. Especially after it realized that trying to advise or warn only made Xu Jiao feel defensive, rebellious, or want to go on strike, the system stayed silent for a long time.
Now, finally, Xu Jiao was the one showing emotion, and the system was the one that remained unmoved.
Seeing that the system still refused to reveal its purpose, Xu Jiao, after her initial shock, quickly regained her composure. Even though she still felt shaky and panicked inside, the more crucial the moment, the more she couldn’t lose her cool.
She still had many questions she wanted to understand.
Taking several deep breaths—
Xu Jiao’s trembling slowly came to a stop.
Sitting on the ground, she noticed that no one was around. The first thing she did was try to dig out memories from when she was five years old, though she couldn’t recall much of it.
Except… for one person.
Thinking of that person, Xu Jiao could clearly feel the trembling she had pushed down starting to creep back up. This time, no matter how much she tried to take deep breaths, it was no use.
Using all her rationality, Xu Jiao still couldn’t control this excitement and trembling. Finally, knowing that this wasn’t a solution, she had no choice but to distract herself once again by talking to the system:
“Did I… travel back to when I was five years old, or is this just a parallel universe scenario, or maybe it’s just a made-up, fake similar scene?”
Can I really change the past?
Or is it just a similar scene to give me some psychological comfort?
For Xu Jiao, figuring out what’s real or fake was very important.
The system didn’t answer the question directly but asked back, “Do you think the stories you’ve changed are fake?”
Xu Jiao: “…”
System: “If you think the stories you’ve modified and personally experienced are fake, then this one is too. If you believe those are real, then this is the same.”
Xu Jiao murmured, “I know what you mean, I just find it hard to believe…”
Why is it hard to believe?
Because of fear.
This kind of situation, not even appearing in her dreams before, now suddenly appearing in front of her, felt more like a honey-scented trap, enticing her to take a bite just to see what she would get.
She wasn’t afraid of going back to being five, wasn’t afraid of facing all the pain and darkness she had experienced in life. But she was scared… scared that all her hopes would come to nothing, because this was something she had longed for a long time.
If she is now five years old—
That means.
She still has a chance to meet that person.
Xu Jiao’s peripheral vision unconsciously focused on the direction of the door.
The toy blocks in her hand fell to the ground, but she didn’t care at all.
The house was quiet now, with only the front door open, yet no one paid attention to it because… at this time, she was completely absorbed in her own world, and generally wouldn’t actively run outside.
Hearing her question, the system suddenly spoke up, “At this age, you showed signs of autism, didn’t you?”
Xu Jiao: “…”
She suppressed the feeling of “being intruded upon” (meaning feeling offended by someone knowing personal details) and regained her calm demeanor: “How do you know?”
System: “Because I mentioned before, this world is one of your task worlds. I can access the background of the main characters, so I’m now familiar with your storyline. If I’ve offended you, I apologize.”
Xu Jiao swallowed, recalling what the system had told her before she came here.
Indeed.
In a way, she is the creator of her own life, and her life experiences are her work. So now, traveling into her past life is like returning to a story she once created.
And now…
She could change this story.
Thinking of this, Xu Jiao no longer worried about the system’s intrusions. There was a very important fact she needed to confirm immediately. She stood up from the ground, her eyes fixed on the already open door handle. Although she didn’t understand many things before, now Xu Jiao had sorted out her memories from the corners of her mind.
Actually, her family was financially well-off. Her biological mother was a career-driven strong woman. After divorcing her first husband, she gained custody of Xu Jiao and then found a gentle, family-oriented young man to be Xu Jiao’s stepfather.
Because her stepfather was very gentle with Xu Jiao and was willing to let his wife be the breadwinner, he gladly took care of household chores and the children. This allowed her mother more time to handle business matters at the company.
Xu Jiao wasn’t an easy child to care for.
She started showing signs of autism at the age of two.
She didn’t communicate with anyone, lived in her own world, and found it hard to accept changes in people or surroundings, often showing sudden intense aggression. This meant she needed constant attention and careful, loving care. Sometimes, she also needed to see a doctor to check on her condition. Whether it was maintaining her daily life or her health, her mother was destined not to be by her side often, especially since this was also the time her career was taking off and her company was expanding.
Having someone trustworthy to take care of Xu Jiao was a relief.
But at that time, Xu Jiao couldn’t express her inner feelings, so her mother didn’t know what kind of hell Xu Jiao had fallen into.
Her stepfather, a man named Xu Hankai, had a scholarly and kind appearance and was incredibly meticulous in caring for others, yet he was a deeply twisted person.
Calling him human was too generous.
Now, at this time—
Xu Jiao glanced at the clock in the living room; it was exactly three in the afternoon. In her memory, Xu Hankai indeed had times when he wasn’t in her sight.
She moved her lips and asked the system, “Where did Xu Hankai go? You brought me into this world, so what do you want me to do?”
As she asked the question, she kept her eyes fixed on the door handle.
The system’s voice was calm: “As the protagonist of your own life, going back to the past, you already have many answers emerging in your mind. For example, you know that your stepfather is a scumbag who hides behind a gentle facade but enjoys abusing young girls, and you’ve guessed that he sneaks out to meet other women behind your mother’s back.”
“You were full of regrets about your past life story, and now an opportunity is in front of you to fill those gaps and give yourself a wonderful childhood beginning. Apart from maintaining your character and not doing anything too outrageous that might surprise others, I have no other demands on you.”
“Go and rewrite your story, Host. After all, you now know how to write a story that touches the heart and understand what makes a story truly fulfilling. The key to changing your life is already in your hands.”
As the system finished speaking, Xu Jiao felt as if she heard something break inside her heart.
That was the defense she had held onto for many years, never dropping her guard with the system since being thrown into these strange worlds. She never thought there would be a day when she would be so moved by the system’s plain electronic voice.
It was like “a pea pod that had hung for a long time, finally bursting with the sound of ripeness” (meaning a long-awaited change finally happening), pop, pop…
It seemed as if something was changing.
She was clearly moved by the words, even feeling her heart race wildly out of sync with the system’s speech, yet she still didn’t respond. She just stared at the door, and after a long time, she took her first step forward.
That step seemed to have “unlocked something” (meaning initiated a significant change).
Xu Jiao, as if spellbound, walked to the door, lifted her small, tender hand like a “lotus root” (meaning soft and delicate), and pushed the wooden door open to reveal the long corridor outside.
Her heart felt like it was about to leap out of her throat.
At this moment, no words could describe her joy.
She was still in this old apartment building, not yet moved to a better neighborhood due to her worsening condition and her mother’s wealth, and the event that would fill her life with regret hadn’t happened yet.
The long hallway had many doors, some new, some old. Across from her, a door had an upside-down “Fu” character (a traditional Chinese character for good fortune), and by the door stood a tall metal shoe rack covered in dust, with umbrellas leaning haphazardly against it.
But Xu Jiao didn’t focus her attention there—
She turned her gaze to the room at the end of the corridor on the right.
The “Fu” character on that door was pasted upright and in bright red. There was a clean red carpet, often swept, at the entrance, and the outer door had an iron grille, with the silver-white metal gleaming as if new. The inner wooden security door blocked all prying eyes, leaving people to guess from its appearance if the residents were wealthy.
The people in the hallway remembered this as the new neighbor.
Xu Jiao stared directly at that door, standing quietly for a long time before, with a feeling of nervousness upon returning home, she moved toward it. She just wanted to touch the surface of the door.
It seemed as if by doing so, she could touch the memory of a long-gone friend through the distance of time.
But when she was halfway there, the wooden door behind the iron gate suddenly made a soft creaking sound. Before Xu Jiao could react, the wooden door swung open completely.
A tall figure appeared behind the door.
Through the silver metal bars, it was hard to see her clearly, but there was a vague impression of extremely fair skin, like a fleeting glimpse of a beauty through a thin veil.
Xu Jiao felt as if she were frozen in place, unable to take a step.
She watched as the wooden door swung fully open, followed by the outer metal door, with the loud creaking of the hinges. The person coming out from that room also saw the figure standing in the hallway.
Their eyes met—
Xu Jiao found herself looking into a pair of dark eyes.
She didn’t even notice that because she hadn’t blinked for a long time, a bit of tears welled up at the corners of her eyes. The small figure stood in the corridor, with no one able to see the hardships she endured to return in her thin body, nor could anyone know the longing that lingered in her heart for many years.
Xu Jiao moved her lips, trying to discern something from that familiar face she had drawn countless times but hadn’t seen in over a decade. She wanted to present the careful, polite, and obedient side of herself, just like a normal child meeting an adult, and she wanted to say something.
As a gift for their reunion.
Even if the other person might not understand the emotions hidden in that greeting.
But her voice hadn’t been used for so long that she couldn’t even get the first word out, and the second word she managed to utter came out hoarse and rough.
Xu Jiao felt embarrassed even hearing herself, so she decided to stop trying to speak.
However, the person who came out of the house heard her clearly.
A hint of confusion appeared on her face—
“Are you… calling me?”
Did she hear wrong just now? This child seemed to call her “sister,” although it was a bit unclear. But judging by the mouth shape and the final sound, it should be right.
Her voice was very soft, sounding unsure, as if afraid of scaring Xu Jiao away.
Seeing the child’s big eyes like “purple grapes” (meaning bright and expressive), her white and tender round cheeks, and the tightly shut lips with body language showing nervousness, a bit of regret flashed in the woman’s eyes. Quickly, she gave Xu Jiao a very nice smile, skillfully crouching down at a distance to make eye contact, as if worried about startling her. With eyes bent in a gentle curve, she said to her:
“Little sister.”
“My name is Ye Zhen. I just moved in a couple of days ago. What’s your name?”
Ye Zhen.
So, she was called Ye Zhen…
A flood of words rose in Xu Jiao’s heart as she looked steadily at the person smiling at her. For a moment, she thought, this smile really resembled Yu Ye, and also Lilith, Feng Qingyu, Shen Yelan…
But as soon as the thought arose, she dismissed it in her mind.
If Yu Ye knew she was being seen as a stand-in again, she would definitely be embarrassed and angry.
A lover is a lover, and a friend is a friend.
None of them should be anyone else’s shadow.
Seeing Ye Zhen here was truly wonderful. To meet her before anything had happened made Xu Jiao feel like she might not have any regrets in her life.
After checking with the system and confirming that Ye Zhen was meeting her for the first time and didn’t know her situation, Xu Jiao carefully acted like a normal neighborhood child. She looked steadily at the other person, and her child’s voice rang out, clear and crisp, but very slowly. At first, it was hoarse and the tone was a bit odd, but by the end, it sounded somewhat proper.
“Xu Jiao.”
“Sister, my name is Xu Jiao.”
Please remember my name—
My mentor, my benefactor, my guide, the one who pulled me from hell, my savior.
Looking at her, Xu Jiao secretly vowed in her heart that no matter how big a trap the system might set for her later, no matter if this was a dream or not, being able to see this sister again meant she could forgive all the plots and betrayals.
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