Alone, Beautifully – Chapter 141
by Little PandaBestowing Upon You the Realm (23)
“I will definitely wait for you.”
Later, Xu Jiao finally learned what Yu Ye had used to torment her that time.
It was a trick and device that could only be found in brothels, commonly known as a “Yang Yan Quan” (literally “sheep’s eye ring” – a traditional intimate device used in pleasure houses).
At that time, however, as Yu Ye controlled her senses and emotions, she had no chance to think about these peripheral matters. She only remembered that she eventually became overwhelmed by Yu Ye’s actions, saying many things she would never normally say – though she couldn’t remember exactly what. Only the soul-consuming pleasure remained etched in her mind.
“Your Highness?”
The palace attendant, seeing that she had been staring at the Ministry of Rites’ proposed coronation ceremony document for a long time without response, gently reminded her, wanting to know if Xu Jiao had any revisions in mind.
Xu Jiao came back to her senses—
She realized she was in the Imperial Study, with the memorial from the Ministry of Rites before her. These old-fashioned ministers still couldn’t accept a woman’s ascension to the throne. After all, a woman’s ceremonial robe (gunfu) couldn’t be made in the exact style of the True Dragon Son of Heaven. Yet if they reduced the ceremonial elements, it would seem improper. Yu Ye naturally wouldn’t let them offend Xu Jiao this way – she would pluck stars from the sky to adorn Xu Jiao’s clothes if she could, how could she tolerate such subtle humiliation from those people?
Xu Jiao casually glanced at some of the proposed ceremonial modifications. After all, throughout history, there had never been a precedent for a woman emperor performing the Heaven Worship ceremony (jitian – imperial ritual of worshipping heaven). Those old fellows had removed some steps of the heaven worship ceremony, making the whole ritual seem inappropriate, and she immediately lost interest in reading further.
She picked up her brush and casually wrote “nonsense”, then threw the document to the Chief Eunuch. Thinking of the scenes she had recalled while spacing out, she showed a rare flicker in her eyes, even though others couldn’t see her thoughts.
Xu Jiao composed herself, and after sending this document back to the Ministry of Rites, she looked at the remaining pile of documents without any motivation to handle state affairs. Somehow finding an excuse, she called out to the departing eunuch:
“Summon General Yu for an audience.”
“Yes.”
Before coming, Yu Ye had been discussing military deployment against Qi with the Minister of War and several confidants, while sharing intelligence from spies in the State of Chu to determine how to cooperate with the King of Chu.
Hearing the palace summons, she thought something might have happened to Xu Jiao. She briefly set aside the discussions and hurriedly put on the cloak brought by the housekeeper before heading out. The weather was just warming up, with fine drizzle falling outside. She didn’t even wait for someone to hold an umbrella for her, and as she walked out, the rain fell on her head, forming crystal-like dewdrops on her black hair.
When she entered the palace, Xu Jiao, having nothing else to do, had called Lan Yan back in and asked her how those specially selected and trained girls were progressing.
Lan Yan curtsied to her and reported truthfully, mentioning one who was performing particularly well.
Xu Jiao looked at the scenery outside the window. Rain had started falling at some point. She remembered the girl Lan Yan had mentioned – not only was she beautiful, but she also looked good in bright-colored clothes.
Few flowers bloomed in early spring, and the world was just beginning to show signs of revival. Even the winter jasmine seemed exceptionally bright, like the first splash of color in a gray world.
Such rainy weather often made people feel listless. Nie Yunyue particularly disliked rainy days because they brought back some unpleasant childhood memories. His growth hadn’t been smooth sailing.
Once, he was nearly harmed by his personal palace attendant on a rainy day. His birth mother had been called away by other imperial consorts, leaving him alone in the courtyard. The person who often played with him deliberately led him to a secluded corner, as usual offering him pastries brought from outside the palace.
But that time, Nie Yunyue almost died in that quiet corner.
After so many years, he still detested those exquisite, colorful pastries that women and children typically enjoyed. One look would remind him of how they had choked him, bringing back the sensation of suffocation. His subordinates were wise enough never to serve him such things, and on rainy days, he would compulsively drink lots of water.
As if this could somehow dispel those shadows of the past.
Xu Jiao recalled Nie Yunyue’s story, looked again at the drizzle that showed no signs of stopping, and after standing by the window for a while, said to Lan Yan:
“There’s no better time than the present, let’s execute the plan today.”
Lan Yan showed slight surprise but dared not contradict Xu Jiao. She bowed to her calm demeanor, acknowledged the order, and when she raised her head, somehow noticed Xu Jiao’s suddenly brightened eyes.
At that moment.
Hurried footsteps came from the direction of the hall: “This humble official pays respects to Your Highness.”
Xu Jiao’s face no longer showed the detached expression she had while discussing Nie Yunyue. Perhaps without realizing it herself, her features had softened unconsciously, and there was a slight spring in her step as she went to help Yu Ye up: “General Yu need not be so formal.”
Lan Yan very tactfully took her leave from Xu Jiao, knowing that this study was no longer suitable for extra people to remain.
Even though she didn’t deliberately probe into the changing relationship between Xu Jiao and Yu Ye, she was very clever, knowing what she should know and when to pretend to be deaf and blind even if she witnessed something directly.
Xu Jiao paid no attention to the now-empty study, noticing the dark spots on Yu Ye’s shoulders. She raised her hand to brush them lightly, feeling a slight dampness, and asked in surprise: “Didn’t you come directly from your mansion? Why didn’t the servants bring an umbrella?”
She couldn’t recall when Yu Ye’s people had become so thoughtless.
Yu Ye’s ink-black eyes stared at her, watching as she wiped the moisture with her hand and then used a handkerchief to dry the dampness from her shoulders and hair. When it seemed she was about to summon palace servants to bring a new set of clothes, Yu Ye stopped her:
“No need to trouble yourself, I barely got wet.”
She casually said: “It was just a short distance. I walked quickly, and my attendants couldn’t keep up.”
Although Yu Ye was tall for a woman, this was only in comparison to other women. Her attendants included male servants who could serve both as guards and servants, all strong and robust. Xu Jiao found it hard to imagine they couldn’t keep up with a woman – had Yu Ye flown in using qinggong?
Thinking of this, she smiled slightly and asked: “Why such hurry? Did something happen?”
This was actually what Yu Ye had wanted to ask.
Now that Xu Jiao had asked first, she remained quiet for two seconds, her gaze still fixed on Xu Jiao, before softly saying: “Indeed, there is an urgent matter.”
Xu Jiao: “?”
Yu Ye: “Three days without seeing you, I missed Your Highness terribly, so I rushed to see you.”
Xu Jiao was caught off guard by this sudden expression of affection, her expression blank for a moment. After recovering, not knowing how to respond, she covered her reaction by pushing Yu Ye toward her previous chair, responding:
“Yes, these memorials and I both missed you very much.”
Yu Ye, having no guard against her, was suddenly pushed into the Dragon Chair in the study. Although she originally believed there was no chair in all of Da Yan she couldn’t sit in, the situation was different now. She intended to push Xu Jiao to this supreme position of power, and would naturally be the first to support her.
She realized where she was sitting and remembered.
She felt both helpless and amused at Xu Jiao’s words: “Is this how you miss me? Summoning me to the palace to handle state affairs? Your Highness, when did you learn to be lazy?”
Xu Jiao raised her eyebrows indifferently, not letting Yu Ye rise, instead pressing her back into the chair. With no outsiders present, she spoke more freely:
“How am I being lazy? This is originally your story, your conquered territory. You sitting on the throne would be more legitimate than me, so these state affairs should be handled by you. I was merely practicing how to be an emperor earlier, if anyone’s being lazy, it’s General Yu.”
Yu Ye was suddenly caught off guard by her turning the tables, stunned for a moment before reaching out to pinch Xu Jiao’s nose:
“I can handle state affairs for you, but don’t say such things again.”
“Everything I have is given by you, this whole world is yours.”
I am yours too.
Yu Ye kept the latter half of her words unspoken, but Xu Jiao understood everything from her expression.
She blinked, pulled Yu Ye’s hand away, and looked down to meet her gaze: “Once given to you, it’s all yours.”
This time, Yu Ye didn’t argue about what belonged to whom, instead asking: “Oh? Only mine after you give it to me? What about you? Will you give yourself to me?”
Just as Xu Jiao was about to speak, Yu Ye became afraid to hear her answer.
Because their future was still filled with uncertainties.
She had her own path to walk, and Xu Jiao had her life to live. They shouldn’t have become entangled together.
They weren’t even originally from the same world.
Yu Ye deliberately changed the subject: “I plan to ally with Chu State to attack Qi. According to intelligence from spies in both Qi and Chu, it should happen within these two months.”
Xu Jiao heard the underlying meaning in her words, knowing that sometimes military opportunities were fleeting. The coronation ceremony that Yu Ye had arranged with the Ministry of Rites was scheduled for this period, when Da Yan’s people’s hearts were most unstable. If Xu Jiao was to ascend the throne, Yu Ye would need to stay and protect her during this time.
“I’ll go with you,” was Xu Jiao’s final answer.
Yu Ye froze for a moment, then said: “No, weapons on the battlefield are blind, even being by my side isn’t absolutely safe. I’ve made arrangements in the capital; you’ll be completely safe if you stay in the palace.”
Xu Jiao: “I’m not worried about myself, I’m worried about you…”
She feared that if something unexpected happened to Yu Ye, she wouldn’t be able to help in time.
After all, the current plot was completely different from the original story.
Yu Ye smiled, pulled her into an embrace, then reached for the writing brush on the table. She had Xu Jiao open the next memorial, quickly read through it, and while imitating Xu Jiao’s handwriting to reply, said with a smile:
“I’m the female protagonist, what are you worried about?”
Xu Jiao was momentarily lost for words at her response.
Finally, she could only follow along looking at the memorial, responding casually: “Hmm…”
Yu Ye gave her a heart-settling pill (meaning reassurance): “Don’t worry, when I return, I’ll gift you a city as your coronation present.”
But Xu Jiao shook her head: “I’ll have the Ministry of Rites set another date. I’ll wait for your return before ascending the throne.”
Yu Ye intended to persuade her, but Xu Jiao imitated her earlier tactic of changing subjects, steering the conversation in another direction: “When you conquer Qi, I’ll have a gift for you too. Besides… you’re the one who wanted me to become emperor, so you should be present to witness such a grand ceremony.”
Yu Ye was momentarily speechless.
The brush in her hand almost trembled.
After a long while, Xu Jiao finally heard her respond: “Alright.”
Her voice was slightly restrained, yet still filled with emotion.
Xu Jiao paused, seemingly hesitating about something, but after staying quiet for a while, she suddenly spoke to the person embracing her from behind: “Yu Ye.”
“Hmm?”
Xu Jiao spoke slowly and earnestly: “No matter when, as long as you tell me you’ll return, I will definitely wait for you.”
For this battle.
For these worlds.
And in the future…
The same will hold true.
This was the only promise she could give – one that she would absolutely fulfill once spoken.
As long as Yu Ye wanted to return to her side, no matter how long it took, she would definitely wait. This was her most sincere response to these feelings.
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