Alone, Beautifully – Chapter 135

Bestowing Upon You the Realm (17)

“I said, you’re not capable.”

For several days after, the system’s single word “loose” still echoed in Xu Jiao’s ears, like a demonic sound poured into her ears (idiom meaning persistent and annoying sounds) that lingered for days without end.

            

Fortunately, Yu Ye seemed to have been hurt by her previous rejection and hadn’t appeared before her for several consecutive days, sparing her from more awkward opportunities.

She thought Yu Ye had a strong exterior but actually had a fragile glass heart inside the shell—

Little did she know…

            

Inside a Prince’s Mansion.

Yu Ye took off the cloak and handed it to the old steward beside her. The steward, accustomed to taking care of her, even though he knew she was now highly skilled in martial arts, still didn’t forget to bring her a bowl of ginger soup prepared by the back kitchen to ward off the cold when he saw her return from the wind and snow.

She put down her sword beside her, and the snow particles on her shoulders and collar easily melted, darkening the color of that part of her clothing. As she raised her hand to take the ginger soup, she glanced at the weather outside again, seeing the sky with dark clouds pressing down on the city, and instinctively thought of the Eastern Palace.

            

She was worried that they wouldn’t take good care of Xu Jiao, letting her catch a cold again and setback the body that had just recovered. She was also afraid that they might burn the indoor charcoal fire too strong out of fear of taking responsibility, making Xu Jiao too hot.

Steward Zou saw her staring absent-mindedly in the direction of the imperial palace and vaguely guessed a little. After hesitating for a moment, he casually said, “In this weather, I’m afraid it will snow heavily in a while.”

Yu Ye responded absent-mindedly, “Mm.”

            

The steward then added, “If there are important matters in the palace, when the snow comes later, the roads out of the palace will be inconvenient for carriages and horses, difficult for people and animals to travel. I’m afraid the officials who are handling affairs might have to stay in the palace.”

Yu Ye’s expression changed.

If she were to go to the palace now, it would definitely snow heavily within half an hour. Wouldn’t that give her a legitimate reason to stay in the Eastern Palace to take care of Xu Jiao?

            

As soon as the thought arose, Yu Ye was about to put down the ginger soup in her hand and call someone to bring her great cloak. She was already preparing to rise from her seat, but then, as if thinking of something, her expression froze for a moment, and she sat back down listlessly, waving her hand and saying:

“There’s nothing urgent in the palace.”

Steward Zou: “…”

            

Your face full of heavy thoughts doesn’t look like there’s nothing urgent.

But since Yu Ye had already said so, he couldn’t persuade her further. After all, their status was different. As a servant, he needed to know what to say and what not to say. Now he could only silently retreat.

Just as he reached the door, he suddenly heard Yu Ye’s voice from behind:

            

“Uncle Zou.”

The old steward turned back very nimbly to respond to her, bowing and raising his hand to ask, “What does the master wish to instruct?”

Yu Ye, unaccustomed to seeing him bow to her, got up and raised her hand to help him to another huanghuali chair nearby, then sat down with a very solemn expression.

            

Uncle Zou had never seen such an expression on her face before. Even when she was about to turn the heavens of the Xu family’s imperial palace upside down in the past, her brow hadn’t furrowed once. Now with this worried look… she actually seemed quite human.

He knew it wouldn’t be any important matter to discuss with him. After all, he was old and weak, and didn’t know martial arts. He would be useless for any major issues, and there was a bunch of strategists in this prince’s mansion eager to serve Yu Ye.

Since it wasn’t official business, it could only be personal matters.

            

He had a general idea in his heart but didn’t speak directly. Instead, he estimated and went through the formality: “Has something happened?”

Yu Ye exhaled deeply.

After pondering for a moment, she asked seriously, “Uncle Zou, when you were young… did you ever fall in love?”

            

Steward Zou: “!”

He knew it.

Since ancient times, heroes have found it difficult to overcome the beauty barrier (idiom: 英雄难过美人关 – literally “heroes find it hard to pass the beautiful woman barrier”, meaning even great people can be brought down by romantic entanglements). Although Yu Ye herself was a woman, what she had done in Da Yan was no less than a man’s achievements. As someone who had been through it all, seeing her go to the Eastern Palace every day, he could guess that this matter was related to the person in the Eastern Palace.

            

That person was also a descendant of the Xu family.

He wondered what sin the Yu family had committed to be bound to serve the Xu family from the very beginning, all the way to Yu Ye’s generation. He thought the ill-fated relationship had ended, but unexpectedly…

Some things seemed to be destined by heaven.

            

The old steward sighed inwardly, but on the surface, he only cupped his hands and smiled, showing a somewhat nostalgic look, “That’s all in the past. Master… has now grown to the age where one’s heart harbors someone.”

There was a hint of gratification in his words.

Although he hadn’t met the person in the Eastern Palace yet, if it was a good match, being able to accompany Yu Ye at this lonely peak of power would be a beautiful story. The only fear was that Yu Ye’s true heart might be misplaced.

            

Yu Ye didn’t know that the steward had already extrapolated so much melancholy from her one question. Hearing that he had been in love, her eyes immediately lit up, and she asked:

“I was once inconsiderate and made some mistakes. Could Uncle Zou give me some advice on how to make amends?”

Steward Zou: “Please, do tell.”

            

He thought it was probably just that Yu Ye had some misunderstandings with the person in the Eastern Palace due to her previous aversion to the Xu family. At most, it might be that people in the world thought love between women was absurd, but neither Yu Ye nor the person from the Xu family should be the type to worry about such rumors.

For a moment, Steward Zou was calm and composed, as if no matter what Yu Ye said, he could solve and deal with it.

Yu Ye was subdued by his confident demeanor and spoke without hesitation: “I once, because I had feelings for her but didn’t get her response, so out of love came hatred… I forcefully, turned uncooked rice into cooked rice (idiom: 生米煮成熟饭 – literally “to cook raw rice into cooked rice”, meaning to create an irreversible situation), and… not just once. She seems to be angry with me because of this—”

            

These were all fragments that suddenly appeared in her mind when she realized she liked Xu Jiao.

At first, Yu Ye suspected that something was wrong with her brain, but later, after being stuffed with these messy fragments, remembering that she had been reborn with memories, she calmly accepted it. She knew that those were all her previous lives with Xu Jiao.

In the first life, her name was Xia Jingzhe.

            

After forcing the issue, even though she sacrificed her life for Xu Jiao, she didn’t receive any affection from her.

In the second life, she was called Shen Yelan.

Different beginning, same ending. In the end, only she fell into the abyss, only getting a bit of sympathy from Xu Jiao.

            

In the third life, she finally restrained herself.

But Xu Jiao rejected her, leaving her to reminisce in the regret of what she missed after tasting the flavor of love. It was as if life had turned black and white after separating from her, no matter how she lived, she was just spinning and wandering in place, long having lost its brilliance.

In the fourth life, she was shameless. Relying on a fate similar to Xu Jiao’s, she unreasonably dragged her to sink together, finally opening Xu Jiao’s tightly closed heart, and then followed her all the way to the next world.

            

In the fifth world, she thought she was lucky, having moved heaven and earth, to be able to stay with Xu Jiao for another lifetime.

But now she understood.

There was no such thing as luck.

            

From beginning to end, meeting Xu Jiao was all her plan.

She wanted to see this creator, wanted to touch her, wanted her favor, wanted her to no longer be high above, arbitrarily playing with her fate, letting her climb out of the mire, only to fall again and again…

But now she discovered that once the creator was moved by emotions, she seemed to be just an ordinary person.

            

Once she took on the identity of an ordinary person, suppressing all those resentments, she realized that if she really wanted to pursue Xu Jiao, what she had done before was a bit too much. Only by making amends for those mistakes could she start a real romance.

While she was thinking this, Uncle Zou beside her was already stunned.

He didn’t know whether to be dazed by Yu Ye unconsciously growing into a forceful and overbearing villain, or to be shocked by Yu Ye’s later “not just once”. Fortunately, he didn’t have tea in his hand at the moment, otherwise, he would definitely have done something disrespectful.

            

Yu Ye came back to her senses and stared at him with bright eyes, waiting for him to come up with an idea.

Uncle Zou’s soul trembled under her gaze.

He recalled the most outrageous thing he had done in his life, which was forgetting to massage his wife’s legs one day when he returned home, and then he received the cold shoulder for half a month. Comparing the two, Yu Ye’s actions were…

            

Deadly.

He thought for a moment and sincerely asked, “Master, wouldn’t it be better to focus on our career?”

Yu Ye: “…”

            

She stared seriously at the old steward who had tactfully told her she didn’t deserve love, and asked persistently, “Is there really no other way?”

Uncle Zou sighed and had to give her his ultimate technique. He extended his thumb and index finger, widened them slightly, and made a gesture to Yu Ye about the width. However, Yu Ye thought it was about duration and asked him, “You… took two months to make the other person forgive you?”

Uncle Zou shook his head.

            

Yu Ye: “Then… you spent this many stacks of silver notes to make her happy again?”

Uncle Zou still shook his head.

Yu Ye was about to ask again when she saw Uncle Zou looking at her seriously and solemnly: “I knelt until I wore through a washboard this—thick.”

            

Yu Ye: “…”

In ancient times, people broke stones on their chests, and now she was expected to break a washboard with her knees?

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That night.

            

The palace maids had prepared thick blankets on the bed for Xu Jiao and had specially positioned the windows so that the wind and snow couldn’t blow in, but there was still a small gap for ventilation. They extinguished the candles that were far away one by one. Xu Jiao pulled the blanket and was about to lie down.

Suddenly, she noticed the palace maids all bowing their heads towards the door, and she guessed who had come.

In such heavy wind and snow, what was Yu Ye doing coming into the palace?

            

Just as the doubt arose, she saw that dark figure having the palace maids take off her cloak, melting away the coldness on her body, stamping her feet before coming in her direction.

Yu Ye’s expression was very cold, as if she had already forgotten the traces of rejection from days ago. Xu Jiao saw her coming with such momentum, and her first reaction was to wonder if she had inadvertently made some mistake recently, but after turning it over in her mind three times, she couldn’t think of anything.

Yu Ye had already walked up to her.

            

Xu Jiao lifted the blanket and was about to speak—

There was a “thud” sound.

Yu Ye knelt on the footstool beside her large bed. The beds in the palace were all very luxuriously made, even the footstools were spacious and high enough, similar to the width of a modern spring bed, able to accommodate palace maids sleeping there to conveniently get up and take care of their masters at any time. It’s just that Xu Jiao wasn’t used to having people in the room.

            

Seeing Yu Ye’s action now, she was stunned for two seconds before saying, “Lord Yu, the Lantern Festival has passed, there’s no need for such a grand gesture…”

Yu Ye looked up at her.

Even though she was in a lower position, her imposing manner hadn’t diminished at all. Xu Jiao couldn’t make heads or tails of it and had to ask, “What does Lord Yu mean by this?”

            

Yu Ye looked up and asked her, “Can you… be with me?”

Xu Jiao: “…”

What’s this about?

            

Using the most fierce posture to say the most humble words?

She was dumbfounded.

After a while, she remembered to answer, her voice somewhat helpless: “Lord Yu, I’ve said before, I already have someone I like, even if you come with this approach—”

            

Yu Ye said very calmly: “I know.”

Xu Jiao: “?”

Yu Ye: “The person you like is me.”

            

Xu Jiao: “…”

Has she gone mad?

So this is what she’s been waiting for all these days of not seeing her?

            

She laughed and helped the now somewhat foolish Regent of Da Yan to stand up: “Oh, tell me how you became the person I like?”

Yu Ye rarely got to be close to her, and instinctively didn’t want her to be too tired, unconsciously following her strength to stand up. But halfway through standing, thinking of what she had done before, whether in the previous few worlds or at the beginning of this world when she had murderous intentions towards Xu Jiao, as she thought about it, she “plop” knelt down again.

Xu Jiao: “??”

            

Yu Ye quite calmly reassured her: “I just want to kneel while talking.”

Xu Jiao: “…”

Alright, whatever makes you happy.

            

She sat on the edge of the bed, resting her chin on her hand, making a “please begin your performance” gesture.

Yu Ye felt a bit unsure in her heart, but since she had already started this way, she could only continue. At the beginning, her voice was a bit stiff, but towards the end, she became more and more fluent—

Xu Jiao’s posture changed from resting her head on her hand to sitting up straight, and finally, she stood up on the bed.

            

Yu Ye saw her come out from under the blanket and wanted to wrap the blanket around her, worried she might catch a cold. However, just as she raised her hand, Xu Jiao slapped the back of her hand.

She wasn’t annoyed, and had even guessed this would be the result.

But she had to finish what she wanted to say:

            

“I know you think I’m despicable and shameless, after all, you’ve done nothing wrong. The mistake is mine. If I hadn’t accidentally developed my own consciousness, I wouldn’t have felt pain… and wouldn’t have wanted to pull you into these worlds you created, making you experience the pain I’ve been through.”

“If you want to kill me, you can do it now.”

Xu Jiao’s gaze turned towards the direction of the pillow.

            

Yu Ye knew she wasn’t looking at the pillow, but at the short dagger underneath it.

Since she was created by Xu Jiao, if Xu Jiao wanted to kill her now, it would be justified.

But in the end, Xu Jiao didn’t take action.

            

Just when Yu Ye thought they would remain in this stalemate all night, Xu Jiao moved again. She pulled up the blanket and covered herself again. Yu Ye lowered her eyes, the once invincible Regent of Da Yan never thought there would be a day when she would willingly kneel before a member of the Xu family.

But she knew—

This wasn’t just a member of the Xu family.

            

This was her deity.

The one who created her, gave her life and soul.

Her creator.

            

There was some muffled movement under the blanket. Yu Ye caught a glimpse of the movement from the corner of her eye, thinking Xu Jiao might be feeling stuffy. She was about to raise her hand to move the blanket away when she heard a soft voice from inside:

“You… don’t kneel here anymore.”

Yu Ye glanced at the window, unhesitatingly standing up: “I won’t disturb your rest.”

            

She would go kneel outside in the courtyard.

Halfway there, Xu Jiao suddenly opened the blanket, sat up, and looked at her.

Yu Ye couldn’t control her instinct to turn back when she heard her move. She turned to look and saw Xu Jiao looking at her somewhat sulkily. After a few seconds, she slowly lifted the blanket a bit and asked:

            

“Would Lord Yu be willing to make amends?”

“My feet are a bit cold.”

Yu Ye: “…!”

            

She didn’t expect such a pleasant surprise to come so suddenly.

Was Xu Jiao… willing to forgive her?

Even when she crawled into the blanket and held the other’s feet in her arms to warm them, she was still immersed in a kind of joy that she didn’t know where to place, wishing she could go back and spin Uncle Zou around three times!

            

This method of apology really worked!

Xu Jiao seemed to be able to glimpse into her inner thoughts from the heat of her palms.

So she unhurriedly spoke in the darkness:

            

“Lord Yu, don’t misunderstand.”

“I have no intention of forgiving you.”

Yu Ye responded with a low “Mm.”

            

Then she heard Xu Jiao say: “The reason I’m letting you sleep with me is only because you’re not capable, for no other reason, understand?”

Yu Ye’s second “Mm” halfway through—

Suddenly took a turn.

            

“Mm???”

She thought she hadn’t heard clearly: “What did Your Highness just say?”

Xu Jiao drawled, enunciating each word: “I said, you’re not capable.” Sometimes it was worth listening to the system’s words. Yu Ye’s personality wasn’t much different from the previous female leads, so why hadn’t she made a move on her yet?

            

This was clearly not her own problem!

The answer was very obvious! It was the system’s first answer yesterday! Yu Ye wasn’t capable! Xu Jiao guessed she might have some kind of psychological barrier in this aspect.

Yu Ye: “…?”

            

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