Alone, Beautifully – Chapter 119
by Little PandaBestowing Upon You the Realm (1)
Clothing.
Alone and lonely.
Xu Jiao always thought this phrase could only describe a lonely person, but after being with Zheng Zhiyu, she discovered that staring at her own shadow on the ground amidst a sea of people also became a very happy thing.
Later, they encountered some more incidents, mostly related to this kind of metaphysical mysterious power. The two of them didn’t engage in those unnecessary rescue efforts. Justice refers to those who are dragged into terrible situations, not those who make deals with the devil.
For instance, there was Su Qiong from Xu Jiao’s school before, who locked the soul of her newborn child into a doll, using it as capital to continuously seize others’ vitality and beauty, but ultimately suffered a backlash and died miserably.
She cannot be called innocent.
Those who make deals with the devil should expect the worst outcome from the beginning.
Another example is that monk.
His way was the path of longevity, for which he could calmly take away others’ lives to pave his own way. Heaven will gradually guide everyone to their final path.
Traffic light intersection.
The crowd hurries back and forth, gray and black shadows crossing the zebra crossing. The people coming and going are all dressed in bright and beautiful attire, each wearing their most magnificent skin.
But what lies beneath, only they themselves know.
Xu Jiao glances over, seeing different colored auras on many people’s faces. Some have a hazy white shrouding their heads, some have gray shadows flitting across their shoulders, while others have a faint golden Buddha’s light above their heads, as if something in the unseen realm is protecting them.
She withdraws her gaze.
None of that concerns her.
From one end of the road to the other, from an angle no one can see, a crimson color breaks free from her shadow, silently covering her back, discussing with her which newly opened store in the shopping street they should visit tonight to improve their meal.
Her eyes carry tenderness and indulgence as she slowly agrees.
The music from some bubble tea shop is turned up slightly louder, a calm and pleasant voice drifting out. Listening carefully, one can make out the lyrics:
“โฆIt won’t take long to reach the destination
People come and go, full of goodwill
This is the most ordinary day
Do you miss it too?”
“Not chasing, not rushing, slowly walking home
Just idling away the years without worriesโฆ”
Xu Jiao unconsciously hums a few lines along with the song.
This is indeed her ordinary day.
But this seems to be the life she and Zheng Zhiyu want to live.
The evening sunlight shines on the tall buildings, its residual glow faintly reflects from the glass onto her cheeks, casting a crystalline light in her eyes, and draping her face with a jade-like veil.
A light, cheerful smile appears on her lips. The person behind her catches a glimpse of it and impulsively steers her into the roadside flower shop, buying a bunch of pure white, fresh lilies still dotted with water droplets.
As she comes out, her face still shows a hint of complaint because these fresh lilies are too expensive. Red earphone wires hang by her ears, and those who don’t know would think she’s just sharing her thoughts with a friend.
Only she knows that Zheng Zhiyu is pulling off her earphones, arguing reasonably about how beautiful these flowers are, and how regrettable it would be to miss this blooming season.
She tugs at her earphones helplessly several times, finally surrendering to the evil force behind her. She secretly sniffs the sweet fragrance still emanating from the lily’s stamen, accepting that spending money to buy this moment of timely blossoming is not a loss.
She walks away, holding the flowers.
Her shadow stretches very long.
At the corner, it seems to split into two, then quickly merges back together, you in me, and I in you.
And then, that figure is swallowed up by the vast sea of people.
โโ End of ใBuilding No. 18ใ โโ
Xu Jiao opens her eyes, realizing she’s back in this virtual space. She’s not sure if it’s her imagination, but the keyboard on the table and that ergonomic gaming chair seem to have aged a bit, just because she had forgotten them.
She raises her hand to touch the slightly rough leather on the armrest of the chair. Her eyelashes flutter, and even though her consciousness has returned, her whole being seems to linger in that beautiful dream, taking a long time to react.
Even as the system’s voice rings in her ears many times:
“Congratulations, host, for successfully achieving a happy ending for ใBuilding No. 18ใ! The female protagonist Xu Jiao and her lover Zheng Zhiyu join hands to thwart the villain’s plot, uphold justice, save the world, while also presenting readers with a love story spanning two lifetimes! It has been included in the Lily channel! This is the most perfect story I’ve seen from your pen!”
Xu Jiao’s eyes move left and right, and she slowly raises her hand to press her temples. After a long while, she finally utters a faint:
“Mm.”
Hearing her unenthusiastic voice, the system asks in confusion: “Although the story doesn’t describe what happened to you and Zheng Zhiyu later, and the extra chapter only captures the happy parts of your life, I remember that you stayed together until old age, and you were the one who left firstโฆ What’s wrong, weren’t you happy with this romance?”
Xu Jiao lets out a long sigh.
She narrows her eyes, and for a moment, it’s as if she’s back at the time of her departure. Zheng Zhiyu’s eternally youthful, pale face smiles at her, cool fingertips cupping her cheeks, saying to her:
“Don’t be afraid.”
“No matter where you are, I will come to find you. I will be with you forever, don’t be afraid.”
Pulling back her thoughts, Xu Jiao looks at the computer desk in front of her. Something crosses her mind, and she raises her hand to summon the book ใBuilding No. 18ใ, flipping through to the ending. A ripple of emotion stirs in her eyes, then settles like a gentle breeze. The system hears her unhurried reply:
“Happy.”
After a pause, Xu Jiao adds: “Very happy.”
Yet this happiness carries a hint of melancholy.
If one had to describe it, it’s like waking from a grand dream. Though the person has awakened, their thoughts are still immersed in that previous reverie. The once-full happiness now feels empty, as if something very important has been lost.
The system, unaccustomed to Xu Jiao’s mood, hesitates for a moment before speaking again: “Youโฆ you know, in the previous worlds, those people who look like your ideal female protagonist always end up falling in love with you. You might meet again in the next world, so why don’t you cheer up?”
Xu Jiao’s lips curl slightly, an indecipherable emotion flashing in her eyes.
Hearing this naive remark, she replies calmly: “It’s precisely because we’ll meet in the next world that I’m sad.”
Because they finally managed to fall in love.
Next time, will that person continue this beautiful dream?
Should she let herself dream deeper?
Or eagerly do something when things start to look up?
Xu Jiao thinks she must have grown a bit too fond, which is why these thoughts occur to her. She feels somewhat uneasy and a bit dejected. She needs to calm down.
“I’ll rest for half a day,” she tells the system.
Half a day will do.
She’ll savor this dream one last time, then go to welcome the new mission.
Meanwhile.
In another space.
The same silence spreads here.
The system holds back for a long time, but finally can’t resist speaking up: “Haveโฆ have you come back yet?”
A woman’s voice answers softly: “I’m back.”
“You used to always ask me as soon as you got back how much the Creator’s favor towards you had increased. Why are you so unenthusiastic this timeโahem, let me tell you the good news! This time, the Creator’s favor for you increased by 50! 50! That’s 50 points! If this trend continues, you’ll be able to make a wish once you collect 100 points! Aren’t you excited?”
In contrast to the system’s oddly flat yet passionate tone, the woman seems much calmer. The exasperation and defiance she showed earlier when she found Xu Jiao unmoved, along with all that indignation, have faded from her.
She’s very quiet.
There’s not a hint of joy at being closer to the goal.
As the system was about to say something more, she speaks again: “That’s good.”
She says: “These 50 points, I’ve waited a long time for them.”
The system points out: “But you don’t seem very happy.”
The woman stays calm for a couple of seconds, then asks in return: “Is that so? Have you ever heard of a saying? When a person wants to lie to deceive another, the more they want people to believe it, the more realistic the lie must be. What kind of lie is the most realistic?”
System: “Hm?”
She provides the answer: “The lie that can deceive even oneself is the most realistic.”
The space falls silent once again.
She laughs very softly, a laugh filled with too many complex emotions to discern before it quickly fades away. She lowers her head, introspecting, and after a very long time, she speaks again:
“The next worldโฆ”
At this point, she pauses, as if engaging in some difficult internal struggle.
The system asks her: “For the next world, what kind of world do you want?”
She answers: “According to my original plan, when the Creator truly fell for me, I was determined to make her experience all the suffering and hardships I endured in her writings. When I finally stood on equal footing with her and could enter her field of vision, I was certain I would make her feel what it’s like to struggle helplessly against fate. I wanted her to experience being trampled upon and controlled. I wanted to become her destiny, to be her godโฆ Butโฆ”
The system follows up: “But you fell in love with her?”
Her rebuttal comes so quickly that even the system is caught off guard: “I didn’t.”
After a few seconds, she repeats: “I didn’t. I justโฆ”
“Justโฆ remembered a child.”
“I once taught that child to have self-respect and self-love, not to easily trust others’ feelings, and not to soften easily because of blood ties or other relationships. I think, if she were the child I raised, and she was toyed with like this because she started off too cold, I would probably be very sad.”
The system doesn’t understand her roundabout, almost self-muttering words, and only asks: “So what do you actually want?”
She shows rare confusion: “I’m not sureโฆ I’m a bitโฆ I don’t really know how to deal with her anymore.”
System: “You’re still very kind.”
She says: “Perhaps. I’ve noticed that in her character creation, what she emphasizes most is that no matter what hardships they experience, they always maintain a positive, optimistic spirit. After all, I’m also her creationโฆ There are some things I can’t shake off.”
System: “Then let your heart decide.”
This time, the woman unusually doesn’t argue. She silently contemplates for a while, and surprisingly nods: “Alright, let’s do that.”
Xu Jiao opens her eyes once again.
“Let’s begin.”
The system is shocked by how quickly she adjusts her mood: “You’reโฆ ready already? Don’t you need to reminisce about anything?”
Xu Jiao smiles: “Reminisce about what? It’s not like my beloved died and I have to observe widowhood. Is there anything worth being sad about? I had a very good relationship, and no matter what happens in the future, at least it was beautiful while it lasted. I should be happyโalright, on to the next world.”
The system then says to her: “Okay, starting random selection, preparing for transmissionโฆ”
A sense of dizziness sets in.
Xu Jiao strains to open her eyes wide and discovers that a book glowing with golden light has something written on it about a rebirth extra chapterโฆ
Xu Jiao: “โฆ????”
She exclaims in shock: “Extra chapters count too? Does this also count as my work? Isn’t this system being too careless? Are you going to make me transmigrate into my diary entries and graduation thesis next?”
The system is embarrassed for a few seconds: “Hmm, you make a good point. I’ll fix this bug.”
Xu Jiao: “?!”
Is this system getting more and more unreliable?
The dizzy feeling stops, and she’s about to burst into a tirade, but she finds her throat is somewhat painful.
Xu Jiao’s opened lips are forced to swallow back the sound. She struggles to open her eyes, and her gaze first falls on a gleaming cold light. It’sโฆ a long sword.
The sword is very sharp, so much so that she can clearly see her own reflection on it.
At this moment, the long sword is pointed at her neck.
Xu Jiao discovers that she’s gripping the sword’s hilt, and standing before her is a person dressed entirely in black. Their beautiful face is solemn. Though they’re quite good-looking, the Asura-like aura they exude overwhelms everything, making people overlook their beauty and only remember this terrifying presence.
The other person’s starry eyes are filled with coldness.
As if looking at an ant.
If the long sword in their hand moves just one step forward, it could pierce through Xu Jiao’s neck, sending her back to wherever she came from.
Xu Jiao is not seized by that aura, looking at this familiar face, a faint pain flashes through her heart, but she ignores it. Right now, her entire being is consumed by the fear of imminent death.
Cold sweat trickles down from below her ears into her neck.
Her clothes are dampened.
Their eyes meet, and for a moment, neither of them utters the first word.
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