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Alone, Beautifully – Chapter 81

Your Preference (15)

“Will you help her?”

Just a moment ago, there was the utmost entanglement, and the next second turned into a confrontation filled with scattered killing intent.

Xu Jiao’s mind quickly regained clarity, and the heat stirred within her body had not yet dissipated. Her right hand was entwined with faint dark red threads as she grasped the other’s hand placed on her neck, with the thin red corners of her eyes still moist.

She curled the corner of her lips and calmly and clearly repeated the phrase:

“Kill God.”

Lilith met her gaze with cold black eyes, and for a moment there was some confusion about who could truly enchant people, herself or the other. Otherwise, how could she explain the fact that she felt somewhat dizzy being watched by this saintess?

Reason told her that she had an infatuation and admiration for God high above in the temple. Although she very much wanted to return to the temple and wanted to know if God ever liked her, this does not mean she wanted to cooperate with others to kill God.

When she was initially captured and transformed by those humans from the six temples, Lilith had just been expelled from God’s side, precisely during a time of heartbroken disappointment. When she discovered she had been completely changed by demonic energy, she was somewhat desperate and somewhat self-destructive.

She knew she would never be accepted by God again.

She would forever live only under darkness, never again seeing that dazzling light. So she fell into slumber, began a muddled life after life of reincarnation, using an ordinary human identity, as if this way everything could start over.

She encountered the incarnation of God once again.

Lilith always persuaded herself to kill God’s incarnation, so that at the moment of the incarnation’s death, God would appear. In that brief moment, even if she would die the next second, she wanted to see God once more and ask Them a question.

However…

She couldn’t bring herself to do it.

She even inevitably developed the same feelings towards God’s incarnation as she had back then.

Just as she was about to deceive herself into thinking that having God’s incarnation fall in love with her might also be considered a small fulfillment, this incarnation said… she wants to slay God.

The incarnation wants to eliminate her true consciousness, which sounds laughably bold and rebellious.

However, Lilith knew the other was not joking.

She should kill this bold, rebellious incarnation for God, regardless of whether God would forgive her. The neck in her palm was so slender, and this was in her dream where she completely controlled everything. Lilith could easily, as she did when she killed those human popes, follow her initial plan to eliminate this incarnation.

But somehow, she couldn’t bring herself to do it.

Her fingertips trembled slightly, as if she had lost even the strength to tighten her palm, and she was even frightened by the pulsing movement of the artery to the point of letting her fingers spring open slightly.

……

Xu Jiao quietly observed Lilith’s reaction.

The curve of her lips did not fall; instead, it hooked higher, her eyes revealing some understanding. Her thumb rubbed over Lilith’s slightly cool skin on her wrist, and Xu Jiao asked:

“Why don’t you dare to use force?”

Provoked by her, Lilith instinctively wanted to tighten the grip in her palm, but she didn’t want to appear so easily angered. Her throat moved slightly, and she fiercely kissed Xu Jiao’s lips. Amidst this, fierce words spilled from between her lips and teeth:

“Because…”

“I still have not tasted enough, so why should I let you off so easily? I want to let you be tainted with the darkest aura, to let you completely belong to me, and only at your most painful moment will I fulfill your wish, to destroy you.”

Their lips and teeth entangled.

Even their breaths mingled with each other’s, indistinguishable from one another.

But these words carried a terrifying meaning, in this extreme entanglement, like fine needlepoints buried in cotton, inadvertently revealing a deadly killing intent.

Xu Jiao uncontrollably laughed out loud, not caring even if her lip was bitten, and with great interest, she actively cooperated a bit, raising her hand around Lilith’s neck, she said:

“Is that so?”

Lilith felt the coolness from the back of her neck and then pulled the tangled red thread beside her, just enough to pull Xu Jiao’s wrist down. At the same time, she saw the golden blade that had just condensed in the saintess’s palm.

That was the power of the Sun God she hated the most.

Lilith was not surprised by this, as she already knew the woman beneath her was not the type to be easily subdued and manipulated by others. As mentioned before, this was the worst, most malicious incarnation of God she had ever seen.

Lilith pinched Xu Jiao’s wrist bone, opened her mouth, used her sharp teeth to take away the golden blade from her palm, spat it to the side, and gave Xu Jiao an excited smile, her tongue tip licking her lower lip:

“You lied to me again.”

She said: “Just now you told me you had no strength, and now how come you are so spirited again? Hmm? Is it because what I gave was not enough, right?”

Xu Jiao heard the overwhelming desire in her words, even stronger than before. Somehow, her lower back felt slightly weak, yet she knew she shouldn’t lose herself in such temptation. She secretly pinched her palm, faced Lilith, and whispered:

“Why do you have such a strong desire for me, Lilith?”

“Because you love me?”

Hearing the second sentence, Lilith seemed to have something strike her heart heavily, producing an instant feeling of suffocation. However, she saw the mockery in Xu Jiao’s eyes and instinctively pinched the other’s slender waist, pulling her much closer, with her snake tail restlessly swaying more violently.

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Xu Jiao couldn’t control her chaotic breath, her fingertips pinching Lilith’s shoulder without mercy, yet Lilith seemed unaware, only smiled to kiss her cheek:

“Love you?”

“How could I possibly fall in love with you? You are just God’s incarnation, a substitute, a failed replacement completely unlike God. Anyone who has seen God’s visage will not fall in love with any other existence in this world because God is perfect.”

Xu Jiao struggled to maintain her sanity, trying to discern more information about God from her words. After all, this was the only person she could currently contact who was somewhat connected to God.

Probably on this continent, it’s difficult to find another person like Lilith, who was once favored by God and very close to God.

The more Lilith was anxious to prove her love for God, the more Xu Jiao wanted to laugh, because she had written so many novels, and she knew the emotional tropes in some stories, like the substitute plot from another world, where usually the protagonist eventually falls in love with the substitute.

Because of spending time together day and night, feelings develop over time.

Xu Jiao seemed to really enjoy seeing Lilith angry, even though she was already somewhat overwhelmed, she still wanted to provoke her: “Perfect? There is nothing perfect in this world, because… because perfection itself is imperfection, Lilith.”

“You admire God… admire someone too far away, this proves that the time you spent with him, what you saw was not the true God.”

Lilith couldn’t help but seal her mouth again with her lips: “I find… your voice is most beautiful only when you’re begging for mercy.”

Xu Jiao was made breathless by her, the flush on her face was even more intense, as if from holding back, or being provoked, and as her eyes blinked, tears fell down.

She finally didn’t want to endure it anymore, raising her hand to push away this unrestrained foolish snake, even using both hands and feet to push and resist. Yet Lilith easily pressed her back down again, seeing her efforts to escape were futile, Lilith’s eyes finally showed a bit of joy.

“Hush.”

“Be good, if you make me happy, I won’t kill you, I’ll let you go, how about it?”

Xu Jiao’s feet were entwined by Lilith’s snake tail, and her wrists were pressed above her head. Even the elements she tried to mobilize were completely blocked by Lilith’s demonic energy, turning her into a truly weak saintess.

Lilith saw that she was no longer struggling, her face slowly leaned down, and just at the moment when they were very close—

The snake woman suddenly lifted her face, avoiding Xu Jiao’s attempt to bite her as she raised her head.

After pulling away again, Lilith smiled, leaving some vigilance on her face, clicking her tongue and sighing: “I knew you were not obedient, but this helpless stubborn look of yours, I also like very much.”

“Do you know? The fiercer you are now, the more I want to see you crying and begging me.”

Xu Jiao was at a disadvantage physically, but in the inner battle, she refused to yield at all. Hearing such filthy words, her expression did not change much, she just looked at the other’s face and slowly said in a hoarse voice:

“Hearing me beg you, does it bring you supreme pleasure?”

“But this pleasure of yours comes too humbly. If one day you could press God beneath you and hear Them beg you, it would be more satisfying, right, oh… but it seems you don’t have that chance.”

“You are truly pitiable.”

Lilith: “!”

She just didn’t understand how someone could be so unwise, clearly about to be in trouble, yet at this critical moment, still fearlessly provoking her. Is this saintess really not afraid of being killed by her in a dream?

An invisible string was felt to be tightened.

Xu Jiao’s breath paused for a moment, just about to continue her efforts, when the next moment, her jaw was suddenly grabbed with great force by the other, sharp pain coming from the jawbone, her brows inadvertently furrowed together, then relaxed.

Lilith’s emotionless vertical pupils stared at her, and after an unknown period of silence, Xu Jiao heard her suddenly say: “Don’t just talk about me, let’s talk about you.”

“Why is it that when you see me and that little golden-haired one, your reactions are so different?”

“Clearly knowing that she and I are the same person, yet you are so excessively wary of me, not willing to give even a bit of concern, guarding against me so tightly, what is the reason?”

Xu Jiao turned her gaze away and casually said: “Because you just look more annoying than her.”

Lilith laughed a little and then continued: “Is it because you like me? You once knew… no, you once had an intimate relationship with someone quite like me. Do I look like her? Or do I have some characteristics the same as hers?”

“But since you came to the human world, the first person you came into contact with was me. Besides that, you haven’t interacted with others, which means, this memory was from when you were God…”

Xu Jiao interrupted her: “I am not God, I remember I said that.”

She hated that this world scattered her unique memories everywhere, which gave her a feeling of being offended.

Lilith asked again: “Then who are you?”

“The one you once loved, who is it?”

These two questions, Xu Jiao could not answer either, so she simply closed her eyes and pretended to sleep.

When treating this saintess as a substitute for God, Lilith had one feeling, but now discovering that she herself was also treated as a substitute by the other, her feelings became another kind, mixed with ridiculousness, absurdity, and a bit of inexplicable anger and grievance.

The flames that had been burning within were extinguished in an instant.

The witch, always heavy with desire, unexpectedly felt a bit uninterested at this moment.

Lilith really wanted to just strangle this saintess to death.

However, in the end…

She just disappeared from her place.

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Xu Jiao opened her eyes and found that the scenes in front of her, the splendid palace, all became blurred, even her consciousness was momentarily dazed, and then, she slowly woke up.

……

Still at the cave entrance.

Xu Jiao sat up and found that all the fatigue and stickiness on her body had completely disappeared. If it weren’t for her mind being a bit groggy, she would almost feel that the previous sensation of drowning was just a very serious dream of her own.

She leaned against the rock by the cave entrance, sat up, pressed her temples with her fingertips, gently exhaled a murky breath, and asked the system:

“How long did I sleep this time?”

System: “Six hours.”

Xu Jiao’s movement paused, and she made a sound of acknowledgment, indicating she already knew.

She stood up from the ground, turned back to look at the cave entrance, and thought of the words Lilith had said to her in her dream before. A few thoughts of contemplation flashed in her eyes.

This snake seems not as stupid as she thought.

At the same time.

In the pitch-black cave.

The black snake restlessly flicked its tail, its tightly closed eyes moved slightly but did not open. No one knew what she was experiencing, only that the scales on her body slowly turned into a dull gray, completely different from the once shiny black appearance.

But beneath those patches of gray, a purer power emerged.

Black demonic energy seeped out from an unknown crack, making the already airtight cave even more frightening. Fortunately, no one could see this doomsday-like scene.

After an unknown period, the black snake suddenly moved, and a faint golden hue flew from her body, landing on the empty ground beside her.

It was a little girl who looked about ten years old, small in stature, with a pure and cute appearance.

The little girl was not afraid at all of this huge snake body. Circling around the bucket-thick, coiled mass like a small city wall, after walking a circle, she squatted on the spot and talked to herself:

“Looks like it still needs about three to five days.”

She patiently propped her chin, just squatting there waiting for the black snake to get through the molting period. But as she waited and waited, before she saw any change in the black snake’s size, she first heard two “gurgle” sounds.

Coming from her stomach.

The little girl touched her stomach and said out loud: “I am hungry.”

“No, you will not be hungry, that is your illusion.” A lazy, hoarse voice came into her mind.

Little Lilith shook her head: “No, I am really hungry, I still have human instincts. Eating and sleeping are my essential needs. I want to find Lady Saintess; she must be hungry too.”

The voice in her mind instantly became fierce: “Not allowed to go!”

“She doesn’t like us, she just uses us as substitutes. It’s already good that I don’t kill her, and you still dare to go find her?”

Little Lilith tilted her head, moving herself aside just in time, avoiding the light sweeping motion of the black snake’s tail.

When she discovered the snake body had become motionless again, her soft voice, completely different from the style of this dark cave, sounded: “No, Lady Saintess considers you as the substitute. Although I am a part of you, fortunately, I look different from you. She doesn’t dislike me, that’s really great.”

The hoarse voice was choked by her words.

After a while, the other replied: “I must have something wrong with my brain to let you continue to exist… When one day I kill that woman, I will definitely remember to reintegrate you, there must be something wrong with you.”

The child, hearing these fierce words, didn’t seem afraid at all. She even raised her hand to touch the gray snake slough in front of her, as if wanting to help, but was promptly stopped:

“Don’t touch!”

“If you don’t want to die, don’t try to touch this current body.”

The blonde girl withdrew her hand and obediently changed the topic: “You won’t kill her. She doesn’t know, but I heard very clearly—”

“You like her.”

“Who likes her?! Impossible! Don’t talk nonsense here, I like God!” the voice said angrily.

The little girl made an “um” sound, as if waiting for her to say something else to argue, but after waiting a long time without further words, she pulled her puffy skirt, made a salute to the snake body, and softly said:

“Okay, you like God, but I like Lady Saintess. Whether she is the incarnation of God or something else, I especially like her.”

“I’m going out to find Lady Saintess to have a big meal together. You stay here and wait slowly. I wish you success in shedding your skin.”

Black snake: “…???”

She controlled her mind, pulling back the layer of breath prepared to turn into demonic energy and slip out from the stone crack, speaking in a dangerous tone: “You are just a part of me. As long as I want, I can destroy the last bit of your remaining consciousness. Do not betray me, okay?”

The little girl’s voice came from the black demonic energy, as a response:

“You finally remember that I am a part of you.”

“That is to say, my emotions are just a division of your emotions. I feel such strong love, and as long as Lady Saintess appears nearby, I can’t help but look at her… Why don’t you admit it? Falling in love with the incarnation of God is not something shameful.”

Black snake: “…”

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She did not speak.

After a while, the little girl’s self-talking voice sounded again: “Huh? Is that what you think? Because she doesn’t like you, she clearly knows who she loves, but you are already fallen, so you refuse to admit liking her, refuse to concede. Wow, you are so childish.”

Black snake: “!”

She angrily said: “Shut up! Do not look into my heart again!”

The girl’s voice was hesitant to speak.

Annoyed by her thoughts, the black snake finally asked gruffly: “What do you want to say? I only give you one sentence opportunity, quickly say it.”

“Um… I want to ask, why does Lady Saintess want to kill God? Could it be that if God awakens, she will die?”

The black snake couldn’t answer and after a while squeezed out a word: “Perhaps.”

Her voice carried some mockery: “It might also be that when this incarnation of God came to the human world, something unexpected happened, and maybe now occupying that body is some kind of demon, who knows.”

After all, even more scheming and wicked than this witch, and even better at seducing people!

Lilith firmly believed in her heart that this was her kind of rival!

The little girl listened in amazement, then she asked: “Then… if Lady Saintess really wants to kill God, will you help her?”

This question was really too sharp.

The black snake had to admit she was stumped.

Between God and the incarnation of God, if she had to choose one, how should she choose?

Originally, she thought this was something that didn’t require much hesitation to have an answer, but now… she found herself unexpectedly hesitating.



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