Finally realizing that love won’t return, and I always understand too late.
The fireworks were over, the noise quieted down. Lu Zizheng and Lian Xuan, feeling emotional due to past events and the passage of time, both fell silent for a moment…
On Lian Xuan’s face, there was no trace of a smile left, her mood visibly low. Lu Zizheng stood quietly beside her for a while, then broke the silence, suggesting, “Let’s go down and look around somewhere else…”
Lian Xuan nodded gently, following behind Lu Zizheng.
Lu Zizheng walked down the stairs on the right side, head lowered, watching the path, taking each step very steadily. However, just as she was about to reach level ground, someone behind her suddenly bumped into her forcefully, causing Lu Zizheng to stumble unexpectedly and fall to the ground. In the next instant, as she instinctively reached out to brace herself, a pair of hands swiftly snatched the handbag slung over Lu Zizheng’s shoulder.
Everything happened in a flash, so quickly that Lian Xuan couldn’t even see the face of the person who grabbed the bag. Before she could react to help Lu Zizheng up, she saw Lu Zizheng quickly scramble to her feet in the next moment, grab hold of one of the bag’s straps, and, without hesitation, run after the thief for about ten meters, managing to slow the culprit’s escape and began tugging…
Lu Zizheng only realized what had happened in the next second after her bag was snatched and pain shot through her knees. In that instant, without time to think, she reflexively got up despite the pain to try and get her bag back. She couldn’t think of anything else, forgot her fear, her mind blank, with only one thought: the bag must not be lost!
The bag snatcher was a tall, thin man with a crew cut. Because the light was too dim, Lu Zizheng couldn’t see his exact features clearly. The man had intended to grab the bag and run away in the chaos, but he hadn’t expected Lu Zizheng to react so quickly, grabbing one of the bag’s straps. She relentlessly ran after him, tugging at the bag while calling for help: “Robbery! Someone’s robbing me…”
He felt both panicked and annoyed. His left hand reached into his pocket and pulled out a shiny, sharp fruit knife, which he brandished in front of Lu Zizheng.
The crowd became agitated, attracting the attention of many people. However, it seemed everyone was intimidated by the knife in the culprit’s hand. They only dared to watch and discuss from afar, and for a moment, no one dared to come forward to help.
Lu Zizheng, however, seemed fearless. Biting her lip with wide eyes, she continued to use all her strength to tug at the bag. During the struggle, the clasp of the handbag opened, and the wallet and mirror spilled onto the ground…
Everything that had happened until now had taken only a few seconds.
Lian Xuan finally reacted, and upon seeing the knife in the robber’s hand, her face instantly paled. With a trembling voice, she tried to persuade Lu Zizheng, “Zizheng, it’s dangerous, let go first…” while running forward to help her. However, when Lian Xuan was still a few steps away from Lu Zizheng, the robber finally lost patience with this tug-of-war. He swung the knife in his left hand, slashing towards Lu Zizheng’s hand that was tightly gripping the bag.
Lu Zizheng saw the silver flash before her eyes and instinctively tried to withdraw her hand to dodge, but it was too late. The knife’s tip struck the web between her thumb and index finger, cutting deeply into the flesh. Blood immediately seeped from the gash, staining Lu Zizheng’s hand red.
The bag-snatching man took advantage of her pain-induced loosened grip, yanked the bag away, and fled…
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Cold sweat immediately broke out on Lu Zizheng’s forehead from the pain, but she still pressed her hand, disregarding everything else, and started to run in the direction the man had fled. Lian Xuan had already reached Lu Zizheng’s side and blocked her path, stopping her. With trembling hands, she grabbed Lu Zizheng’s hand to examine the injury. Seeing the flesh of the web between thumb and forefinger had been cut open and was bleeding continuously, she immediately began crying out of worry and distress. While quickly trying to tear open her own shirt to bandage Lu Zizheng’s wound, she scolded Lu Zizheng with a tearful voice: “Are you crazy? Fighting with that kind of desperate criminal, do you not value your life?”
At this moment, some kind-hearted people finally appeared. Someone helped pick up the fallen wallet and mirror and handed them to Lu Zizheng. Lian Xuan, choking back tears, said “Thank you” on Lu Zizheng’s behalf.
Lu Zizheng knew she couldn’t catch up anymore. She mechanically accepted the items handed to her, only staring dejectedly in the direction the criminal had fled. Tears welled up in her eyes but didn’t fall as she murmured, “The voice recorder Huaixi gave me was inside…”
When Lian Xuan heard the words “Huaixi,” her tears fell even more heavily. Looking at Lu Zizheng’s still-bleeding hand, she felt so heartbroken she was almost numb. To make matters worse, perhaps because her clothes were of too good quality, she couldn’t tear her shirt no matter how hard she tried. In her urgency, she simply took off her shirt, leaving only a close-fitting undershirt, and used the shirt to press against Lu Zizheng’s wound to stop the bleeding.
The security guards finally arrived, much too late. Lu Zizheng was still somewhat dazed, so Lian Xuan helped answer a few questions. Concerned about Lu Zizheng’s wound and eager to take her to the hospital, Lian Xuan finally just left a business card with the security guard, saying “We’ll be in touch later,” and then quickly led Lu Zizheng out of the Sand Sculpture Park.
Outside the park, just as Lian Xuan and Lu Zizheng were about to hail a taxi, a woman with delicate features approached them. She took out a brand new shirt with tags still attached from her shopping bag and handed it to Lian Xuan. Then she said to them, “If you don’t mind, I’ve already hailed a car to take you to the hospital. It’s just up ahead.”
Lian Xuan hesitantly accepted the shirt, raising her head to look ahead in the near distance, where indeed a taxi was waiting.
This truly solved their urgent problem. Lian Xuan was extremely grateful, repeatedly saying “Thank you” several times, and was about to take money from her wallet to give to her.
However, the strange woman just smiled apologetically, shaking her head and saying, “No need. I could only dare to help this much, I’m sorry.” Just now, she had been standing in front of the robber. If only she had dared to rush out and block the robber’s path as he ran away…
Lu Zizheng gradually came back to her senses, though her mood was still very low. Her face was pale from the pain, but she still managed to force a smile, sincerely saying to the woman in a low voice, “You’ve already done very well. We’re still very grateful to you.”
The taxi driver, having waited for a long time, grew impatient and poked his head out to look in their direction.
The woman smiled bitterly and said, “You should hurry and go now.”
Lian Xuan thanked her again, and Lu Zizheng nodded slightly. Supported by Lian Xuan, she limped towards the taxi.
In the taxi, the radio was on, playing music. The driver turned the volume down a bit and asked Lu Zizheng and Lian Xuan for confirmation: “We’re going to the nearest People’s Hospital, right?”
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Lu Zizheng and Lian Xuan were still unfamiliar with this area. Hearing it was the nearest, Lian Xuan nodded and responded affirmatively.
Having received confirmation, the driver replied “Alright” and then turned the radio volume back up.
“I miss your smile, I miss your coat, I miss your white socks, and the scent of your body. I miss your kiss…” Shin Xiaoqi’s voice, filled with plaintive longing, quietly flowed through the small confines of the car.
Lu Zizheng pressed her right hand tightly against her left, biting her lip, her head turned to look out the car window. She watched the unfamiliar streets of X City under the colorful glow of street lights, and the revelry of strangers in the square.
Her face grew increasingly pale, while her eyes became rimmed with red.
Lian Xuan saw Lu Zizheng’s pained expression in the reflection of the car window. Her own eyes reddened as she asked worriedly, “Zizheng, does it hurt a lot?”
Lu Zizheng shook her head gently, her voice low and slightly nasal, “It’s fine, it doesn’t hurt…” Yet her tears, disobedient, fell one by one onto the back of her hand.
Lian Xuan became flustered, at a loss for what to do. She could only urge the driver with a tearful voice to drive faster.
“I miss your smile, I miss your coat, I miss your white socks, and the scent of your body. I miss your kiss…” The song continued to linger in the car, echoing through the streets of this foreign city, resonating with Lu Zizheng’s increasingly fragile heart.
Lu Zizheng, with a low, hoarse, crying voice, stopped Lian Xuan, reassuring her: “Lian Xuan, it’s okay, I’m not in much pain…” After saying this, she choked up a bit and explained: “I just, suddenly feel, that I miss, really really miss, especially, especially miss Huaixi…” These words seemed to trigger a button in her heart, causing the emotions that had been pent up for so long to suddenly burst out, no longer able to be suppressed…
From the day she left Linzhou, starting with vague doubts and unease, to the worry, confusion, grievances, and insecurity that had been accumulating over the past few weeks, to today’s mental shock and physical pain, coupled with the extreme regret, frustration, and anxiety of losing Jiang Huaixi’s voice recorder, she finally reached the edge of emotional breakdown…
Suppressing her sobs, her voice low, hoarse, and choked up to the point of almost losing its true sound, she said brokenly: “Lian Xuan, am I really useless? Otherwise, why did she choose to send me away when she encountered difficulties, instead of sharing the burden with me? I can clearly hear that she’s not doing well, but I can’t help her at all. I can’t even protect the gift she put so much thought into giving me. I’m really so incompetent, so useless…” By the end, she finally broke down, sobbing out loud.
Lian Xuan, with tear-filled eyes, looked at Lu Zizheng, who had her head bowed dejectedly and her face streaked with tears. Her heart was filled with sorrow, loss, and ache, and finally, tears spilled from her eyes as well. She reached out to loosely embrace Lu Zizheng, gently patting her back, and with a choked voice, continuously comforted her: “It’s not like that, it’s not like that at all. Jiang Huaixi surely doesn’t think that way.” As she spoke, her tears fell even more heavily than Lu Zizheng’s, wetting Lu Zizheng’s shoulder.
She finally couldn’t deceive herself anymore and had to face the heart-wrenching truth.
Lu Zizheng no longer loved her. Lu Zizheng’s heart and eyes were now filled only with that woman called Jiang Huaixi. There was no longer any possibility for them.
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She had ultimately lost.
Lian Xuan sniffled, wiping her tears, and comforted Lu Zizheng: “We’ll go to the hospital to get your wound bandaged. Tomorrow, you should go back to find Jiang Huaixi. Trust me, she didn’t tell you because she loves you more than anyone else and didn’t want you to get hurt. Don’t worry about the voice recorder. Leave it to me. I will, I definitely will help you find it back.”
She knew she hadn’t lost to Jiang Huaixi.
She had only lost to Lu Zizheng, lost to so-called fate, lost to time.
She admitted defeat.
LP: Re-translated on October 15 2024