STT – Chapter 38

No one can truly stay with someone forever.

Mother Lu finally came out of the emergency room without any danger, but this time, the doctor’s head couldn’t stop shaking. When Lu Zizheng clutched his hand and urgently inquired about her condition, he could only sigh heavily, not knowing how to deliver the cruel truth in the gentlest way possible. He could only say helplessly, “We did our best…”

Lu Zizheng’s hand, which was tightly gripping his white sleeve, dropped powerlessly, her face ashen…

When Mother Lu woke up in the middle of the night, Lu Zizheng was sitting next to her bed, staring at her with swollen, red eyes, without blinking.

Seeing that Mother Lu had woken up, Lu Zizheng quickly poured a glass of water and handed it to her, helping her sit up slightly to drink it.

Mother Lu took a sip of water, feeling a bit better from her dry, sore throat. Her voice was hoarse and weak, but she managed to pull out a smile and teased Lu Zizheng, “Why are you staring at mom? Are you expecting to see a flower on my face?”

Lu Zizheng blinked and answered with a bitter smile, “I’m afraid that if I close my eyes, when I open them again, you will be gone…”

Mother Lu’s smile gradually froze on her lips. After a long time, she finally sighed softly, “Silly child…”

Lu Zizheng suddenly leaned down, lying on Mother Lu’s body like a child, crying powerlessly and hopelessly, her shoulders shaking continuously. She choked and pleaded, “Mom, please, don’t go, don’t leave me, okay…”

Mother Lu also began to shed tears. She raised her weak hand and gently patted Lu Zizheng’s shoulder, silently comforting her. This time, she dared not promise Lu Zizheng, “Don’t be afraid, mom is here.”

Lu Zizheng’s sobs gradually subsided. Mother Lu continued to pat her back gently. After a long silence, she finally discussed with Lu Zizheng, “Zhengzheng, how about we leave the hospital tomorrow? Mom wants to go back to Juzhou, I miss your father and uncle.”

Lu Zizheng lifted her heavy head, looking at Mother Lu through tear-filled eyes, shaking her head like waves. She knew what leaving the hospital meant.

However, Mother Lu’s eyes were filled with earnestness as she pleaded with Lu Zizheng, “Zhengzheng, be good, let mom go home, okay…”

Lu Zizheng covered her face with both hands, sobbing for a long time before she choked out, intermittently, “Mom, okay, we’ll go home.”

Mother Lu reached out and weakly wiped away Lu Zizheng’s continuously flowing tears, gently murmuring, “Good child, mom’s good child…”

The next morning, Jiang Huaixi, at Lu Zizheng’s request, handled the discharge procedures for Mother Lu. Despite Lu Zizheng’s polite refusals, Jiang Huaixi drove to pick up Mother Lu from the hospital and, along with Lu Zizheng and Mother Lu, accompanied them back to Juzhou.

Lu Zizheng’s uncle and his family also rushed to Lu Zizheng’s house upon hearing the news. Seeing Mother Lu lying on the bed, too weak to get up, Lu Zizheng’s uncle, a grown man, instantly burst into tears.

Mother Lu asked Lu Zizheng to help her sit up, then forced a smile and joked, “Brother, men don’t cry easily, you must have something in your eye, right?”

Lu Zizheng’s uncle wiped away his tears, his eyes red, and sat silently by Mother Lu’s bed, holding back his tears with his face flushed.

Mother Lu turned her head, pulled over Jiang Huaixi, who was standing to the side, and introduced her to Lu Zizheng’s uncle, “Brother, this is the daughter I recognize. Her name is Jiang Huaixi, she is a very, very good child.”

Lu Zizheng’s uncle looked at Jiang Huaixi in confusion, then followed Mother Lu’s gaze and saw Lu Zizheng, who had her eyes fixed on Jiang Huaixi just like Mother Lu. In an instant, he understood. Clearing his throat, he replied to Mother Lu in a low and firm voice, “Don’t worry, I will take good care of them.”

Mother Lu nodded and smiled with relief.

On the third day after returning to Juzhou, the sky was overcast since morning. In the afternoon, a light drizzle began to fall. Mother Lu looked at the misty rain outside the window, and in a daze, she seemed to see Lu Zizheng’s father walking toward her, his smile as bright as when they first met, holding a dark umbrella. He smiled warmly and said, “Ayü, I’ve come to get you. I’m sorry to have kept you waiting for so long…”

She turned her head and looked at Lu Zizheng and Jiang Huaixi, who were sitting closely together by the bed. A smile gradually spread across her face as she reached out and took the large hand that Lu Zizheng’s father extended to her…

At the moment of Mother Lu’s passing, Lu Zizheng cried uncontrollably, hugging her mother tightly and refusing to let go. In the end, overwhelmed by emotion and physical exhaustion, she fainted. When she woke up, Lu Zizheng suddenly stopped crying and making a fuss. She calmly and methodically helped her uncle and Jiang Huaixi with the arrangements for her mother’s funeral.

Only Jiang Huaixi, who stayed at Lu Zizheng’s house, knew how broken Lu Zizheng’s heart was beneath her calm exterior. During the day, Lu Zizheng was like a puppet on strings, expressionless. But at night, Jiang Huaixi could hear the faint sounds of crying coming from Lu Zizheng’s bedroom every night.

On the second day after Mother Lu passed away, Lu Zizheng sat alone in the empty living room, staring blankly at the memorial photos of Mother Lu and Father Lu hanging on the wall.

Jiang Huaixi came out of the kitchen after cooking, holding an apple in her hand. She sat down next to Lu Zizheng and slowly began peeling the apple.

Lu Zizheng turned her head to look at Jiang Huaixi. Over the past two or three weeks, Jiang Huaixi had also lost a noticeable amount of weight, which made Lu Zizheng feel both bitter and pained. She shook her head and, in a calm voice, said, “Huaixi, I’m fine now. You should go back to Linzhou. Thank you for your help and care during this time. I’ll properly thank you once I’ve handled everything.”

Jiang Huaixi paused her movements, shook her head, and replied in a low voice, “I’m not leaving.”

Lu Zizheng asked her indifferently, “Are you staying here to keep me company?”

Jiang Huaixi remained silent and did not answer her.

Lu Zizheng, however, let out a bitter laugh and questioned her, “Huaixi, how long can you accompany me? One day, two days, or one week, two weeks?” Her gaze locked tightly on Jiang Huaixi, with an unnoticed hope in her eyes.

Jiang Huaixi stared at Lu Zizheng, seeing the bright expectation in Lu Zizheng’s eyes. She opened her mouth, wanting to speak but stopping herself. In the end, she only handed the peeled apple to Lu Zizheng, silently.

She saw the hopeful glow in Lu Zizheng’s eyes gradually dim, and heard her murmur to herself, “Right, no one can truly, always stay with someone forever…”

She reached out to take Jiang Huaixi’s apple, took a gentle bite, her eyes still fixed on the photos of her parents on the wall, deep in thought. Suddenly, she said, “Huaixi, I’m a bit hungry…”

Jiang Huaixi was momentarily overjoyed; these days, Lu Zizheng had only been drinking a little rice soup at each meal. She didn’t know how Lu Zizheng had managed to hold on. Jiang Huaixi immediately stood up and said, “I cooked your favorite preserved egg and lean meat congee in the kitchen. I’ll go see if it’s ready.”

Lu Zizheng, however, shook her head, dejectedly said, “I want to eat mom’s taste…”

Jiang Huaixi’s steps paused, her nose slightly sour.

Lu Zizheng looked up at her, eyes bright: “On Chenghuang Street, there is an authentic preserved egg congee. I had it once, and it tastes similar to mom’s. Can you go buy a bowl for me?”

Jiang Huaixi couldn’t bear to hesitate even for a moment; she didn’t even put on her coat, immediately turned around to go out, saying as she walked, “Okay, wait for me, I’ll be right back.”

Lu Zizheng’s eyes, however, remained tightly locked on Jiang Huaixi’s hurriedly departing figure, filled with endless longing and sorrow.

Huaixi, I’m sorry, I love you.

She is so afraid in this world, of being an orphan with no one to rely on, she misses dad’s broad shoulders, mom’s warm embrace.

In this world, her only attachment and longing is Jiang Huaixi. But one day, Huaixi will also leave.

Is it true that only extinction can achieve eternity? If time stopped at this moment, would Jiang Huaixi never leave her with a departing figure, always be that gentle to her at this moment?

Lu Zizheng thought seriously, probably so.

The corners of her lips gradually revealed a smile…

Chenghuang Street is several streets away from Lu Zizheng’s home, Jiang Huaixi drove out. As soon as she left, she felt a faint unease in her heart, this feeling tormenting her continuously. She kept recalling the expression on Lu Zizheng’s face as she saw her off, replaying it over and over, the unease in her heart growing stronger and stronger, increasingly nervous.

She hurriedly turned back, driving and quickly dialing Xu Baihan’s phone number. When Xu Baihan came to attend Mother Lu’s funeral, she had left her phone number, telling her to call if she needed anything. As soon as the call connected, Jiang Huaixi frantically said, “Sister Xu, can you immediately have your father’s hospital send an ambulance to Zizheng’s home? I’m worried she might do something stupid, and I’m rushing back now.”

Xu Baihan was startled, and without a word, she agreed.

Unfortunately, the road that was clear when she left was now damnedly blocked on her way back. Jiang Huaixi didn’t have time to think, got out of the car, slammed the door, and started running towards Lu Zizheng’s house.

In her entire life, Jiang Huaixi had only run twice, the first time because Lu Zizheng had fainted during physical education class, and the second time, which was now. She felt her heart pounding so fast it seemed like it would jump out of her chest, but she didn’t dare stop for a moment.

Jiang Huaixi almost used kicking to open Lu Zizheng’s house door, and then without time to close the door, rushed into the living room. At that moment, unprecedented panic and terror filled her heart.

She saw Lu Zizheng tremblingly standing up from the balcony’s platform…

Jiang Huaixi almost screamed out Lu Zizheng’s name: “Zizheng, you come down…”

Lu Zizheng heard the sound, turned her head, gave her a faint smile, her bloodless lips silently opening and closing…

Jiang Huaixi vaguely made out, “I love you, I’m sorry”…

She panicked and was urgent, yet did not dare to rush over recklessly. Out of the corner of her eye, she suddenly saw the fruit knife that had just been used to peel an apple in the living room. Without thinking, she grabbed it and pressed it against her own left wrist, speaking coldly to Lu Zizheng: “Zizheng, if you really insist on leaving, then I will accompany you.”

She saw that the smile on Lu Zizheng’s face slightly froze, but then she still intended to turn her head back. In that instant, Jiang Huaixi no longer hesitated at all. She forcefully used her right hand to cut her own wrist’s vein, and immediately, in front of Lu Zizheng, fresh blood sprayed out…

Lu Zizheng’s breath seemed to stop in that instant, and in the next moment, she leapt down from the balcony, stumbling and rolling, and rushed to Jiang Huaixi’s side, frantically trying to press the bleeding wound on Jiang Huaixi’s wrist. But the fresh blood still kept flowing down through the gaps of her tightly pressed fingers. Lu Zizheng cried out in panic, asking Jiang Huaixi: “What to do, Huaixi, what to do, are you crazy, how can you be so stupid…”

Jiang Huaixi, however, weakly lifted her blood-stained hand, gently and softly stroked Lu Zizheng’s cheek, tenderly coaxing her: “Zizheng, don’t do anything stupid…”

She said, “Zizheng, I went crazy long ago…” From the first moment she saw Lu Zizheng on stage, from the moment she fell in love with Lu Zizheng, she knew she had gone crazy…

When Xu Baihan arrived at Lu Zizheng’s house with the emergency vehicle, the scene before her eyes was shocking, making her body go weak in an instant.

Jiang Huaixi lay in a pool of blood, lifeless, while Lu Zizheng was pressing Jiang Huaixi’s arm tightly bound with cloth strips, her entire body and face covered in bright red blood. Seeing the doctors in white coats entering, Lu Zizheng knelt on the ground like she had lost her soul, only pulling at their white coats, constantly begging them: “I beg you, you must save her, you must save her…” Murmuring, Lu Zizheng also collapsed…

Jiang Wang, being worried about Jiang Huaixi’s health and having been entrusted by Mother Jiang, called Jiang Huaixi as soon as she got off work, wanting to ask if her cold had recovered and when she might come back.

But the phone rang for a long time, with no one answering. Just as she was about to hang up and redial, the phone was suddenly answered.

On the other end of the line came a warm and pleasant female voice, slightly panicked and apologetic, saying: “Hello, I am Xu Baihan, Huaixi had an accident in Juzhou, she is now in the hospital emergency room, are you her family…”

Afterwards, Xu Baihan said something, Jiang Wang did not hear… She held the phone, leaned against the wall, after a long while, hung up the phone.

Xu Baihan…

She thought, she really forgot…

It turns out, the self-deceiving dream, in the end, still has the day of waking up…

LP: Re-translated on August 24, 2024