Your Majesty is Poisonous – Chapter 7

The Empress Dowager is Terrifying

“Ah… Hiss… Pain pain pain pain pain…” Yao Xi mustered her courage and bit down hard on her tongue, the pain nearly making her faint. She stubbornly tried to hold her breath again, but just as the tightness in her chest was about to suffocate her, a powerful will to live broke through the wall that blocked air from entering her body.

Dying, it turned out, was not so easy. Especially at the last moment of holding her breath, she feared death more than ever before, and more than ever, she longed to live. That was why she hadn’t resisted, allowing the urge to breathe to pull her back from her suffering.

And as it turned out, you couldn’t suffocate yourself just by holding your breath. It was an act of using your own strength to fight the reflexive action of breathing. When your chest grew tight and you started to suffocate, you gradually lost the strength to fight back and could only yield to the reflex and continue breathing.

When it came to suicide, most of those who succeeded had, in fact, relied on external forces.

Take hanging, for example. You tie a rope, put your head in the noose, and kick away the stool. You’re not the one killing yourself; the noose and gravity are. Look at those who hang themselves—how many don’t struggle frantically after kicking away the stool? Some say it’s because of the pain, a natural reaction.

But it’s not. It’s fear. It’s regret.

When you truly come face to face with death, you realize that nothing else matters. No matter how difficult things are, there’s still room to struggle. You might just make it through, who knows.

As Yao Xi’s thoughts ran wild, the eunuchs escorting her brought her to the entrance of the main hall, where two palace maids took over and led her inside.

Ning’an Palace was truly enormous! She knew she was being taken to see the Empress Dowager, but they walked for a very long time and still hadn’t arrived.

Yao Xi suddenly felt a little sad. The Eldest Princess had said she did her best, but the road to see the Empress Dowager was so long. Thinking back, it hadn’t taken much time at all for the Eldest Princess to go into the hall and come back out. How could she have “done her best” in such a short amount of time? It was obvious she had just exchanged a few pleasantries with the Empress Dowager and left.

She was only sad; she didn’t blame the Eldest Princess. For one, the Empress Dowager was not someone to be trifled with. As respected as the Eldest Princess was, she couldn’t win against the Empress Dowager. For another, in the eyes of the masters, the lives of servants were cheap. Killing a servant to soothe one’s mood was hardly a major event. It was already a rare kindness that the Eldest Princess was willing to make this trip for her.

Wan Bi was like a child with a new toy, so excited that she wasn’t the least bit sleepy. She watched as the little castrated donkey was brought in, shoulders slumped, head bowed, looking utterly pitiful. It was a sight that made one itch to bully him.

Upon entering the hall, Yao Xi limply knelt before Wan Bi. “This slave pays his respects to Your Majesty, the Empress Dowager.” She had neither the courage to end her own life nor the strength to struggle. So, she kowtowed listlessly, prepared to endure the Empress Dowager’s fury.

“What a grand display, Gonggong.¹ The entire Ning’an Palace has been waiting up for you, sleepless and without rest,” Wan Bi said, eyeing Yao Xi.

Yao Xi felt that being late for her shift was indeed her fault, but the people of Ning’an Palace were staying up to keep Her Majesty company, weren’t they? How could the servants dare to sleep when their master was awake? How did this get blamed on her?

“This slave deserves death,” she muttered. She only dared to think these things, not say them aloud. Whether she would die, and how she would die, all depended on a single word from the Empress Dowager. She didn’t dare act recklessly.

“And what a great deal of face you have, Gonggong. For Princess Longyi to come to Ning’an Palace in the middle of the night, all to plead for you.” Wan Bi deliberately provoked Yao Xi. She most enjoyed the little sight of this castrated donkey trying to defend himself when he was afraid of dying.

Yao Xi silently thanked the Eldest Princess in her heart, but her lips still said, “This slave deserves death.” It seemed the Eldest Princess had genuinely wanted to help her. It wasn’t that the princess wasn’t righteous, only that the Empress Dowager was too vicious!

“Is that the only line you know?” Wan Bi huffed softly. How strange. Where had that eloquent little castrated donkey from the Cherry Blossom Forest gone? With Yao Xi not talking back, Wan Bi found things much less interesting.

She was also terribly bored, being trapped in the palace. Wan Bi knew how the world saw her. No one dared to say the words “Demon Empress” to her face, but plenty of people muttered them under their breath. As for the things she had done, most were for a reason, but a small portion was purely out of boredom. She had been in the palace for over a decade with not a single friend or relative, yet enemies were everywhere. If she didn’t find some amusement for herself, how could she endure the long, lonely nights in the palace?

Yao Xi was her new amusement.

This little eunuch, Yao Xi, was very strange. He didn’t have a trace of a eunuch’s disposition. He was a bit sissy, yes, but it was more of a girlishness than a eunuch’s nature. Wan Bi loathed eunuchs, but she didn’t quite dislike the one before her. Perhaps because he was good-looking? Right now, this little eunuch was kneeling before her with his body curled up, his pair of dark eyes gazing downward pitifully, as quiet and well-behaved as a frightened little rabbit.

“Her Majesty is asking you a question!” Seeing Yao Xi remain silent, Yuanqian stepped forward and gave her a gentle push. “Hurry and answer.” She meant well. Based on her understanding of her master, Her Majesty was no longer as angry as before. If this eunuch answered properly, he might just be able to keep his life.

“Huh?” The aftereffects of the wine Yao Xi had drunk earlier were setting in late. She was a one-cup-knockout, and as the drunkenness washed over her, she grew dazed and hadn’t heard Wan Bi’s last question.

Wan Bi was infuriated all over again, yet she couldn’t quite vent her anger. To kill him would be unsatisfying. To beat him… one look at the little castrated donkey’s frail frame told her he couldn’t take a beating. “This bereaved one asked you, aside from ‘This slave deserves death,’ do you know no other words? Do you not wish to persuade this bereaved one to spare your life?”

Yao Xi gave a bitter smile and shook her head. The drunkenness was growing stronger, her consciousness fading. She could no longer summon the energy to defend herself. Besides, wine gives courage to the timid. With the alcohol kicking in, she truly felt fearless. Never mind being told to die; right now, she’d even go fight a tiger on a mountain if asked. A pity her hands were like soft noodles and her mouth like a cotton waistband; she had the guts but not the strength.

“So you want to die that badly?” Wan Bi snorted. “This bereaved one insists on making the best use of everything.² You will come to Ning’an Palace for night duty again tomorrow.” As Wan Bi was speaking, a palace maid brought in some Poria porridge fresh from the kitchens, which Yuanqian had ordered earlier. Wan Bi had been up all night and had eaten dinner early, so she was naturally hungry, though she hadn’t noticed it while being angry at Yao Xi.

Yuanqian took the bowl and fed Wan Bi a small spoonful. Wan Bi tasted it and said, “It’s been simmered well. More fragrant than before.”

Yuanqian smiled. “The porridge is the same as always. It’s just that Your Majesty is hungry.” It wasn’t just hunger; she was famished. Yuanqian really couldn’t understand, was it worth losing sleep over this little eunuch? And it was hard on the servants of Ning’an Palace, too. None of them had slept. Tomorrow, the master could sleep in, but the servants still had to be on duty.

Wan Bi’s appetite was good. She usually ate half a small bowl at most, but today she had nearly finished it all. Yuanqian scooped up another spoonful and brought it to her master’s lips when Wan Bi suddenly paused. “What is that sound?”

“It sounds like… someone is snoring?” Yuanqian looked at Yao Xi, who was snoring on the floor where she knelt, and was so frightened she nearly dropped the bowl in her hands.

Yao Xi, who had been kneeling, had at some point shifted into a W-sit,³ her two hands placed obediently between her knees. Her head was bowed, and she was fast asleep.

Yuanqian glanced worriedly at her master, thinking to herself that it seemed Ning’an Palace was bound to see blood tonight. She had served the Empress Dowager for many years and understood that Her Majesty was not the lawless Demon Empress of popular rumor who killed the innocent indiscriminately. But she also understood that Her Majesty was definitely not the type to laugh off an offense without holding a grudge.

This ignorant eunuch, to commit a breach of etiquette before the sovereign⁴ at the very moment the Empress Dowager was planning to let him off? This was a direct slight to the Empress Dowager’s dignity!

Wan Bi glanced at Yao Xi on the floor, her face dark. “Carry him outside and leave him there. This bereaved one is tired.” At this point, nothing this eunuch did would surprise her. She was already used to it. When she grew tired of playing, she would kill this servant sooner or later.

After a moment’s thought, as if still not satisfied, she added, “Tell him there’s no need to come to Ning’an Palace tomorrow. He can go guard the Cold Palace.”⁵

The Cold Palace was the most gloomy and terrifying place in the entire imperial palace. It didn’t normally require servants for night duty or anything of the sort, but precisely because it was so frightening, guarding the Cold Palace at night had somehow become an effective form of punishment. Wan Bi wanted to see: you, Yao Xi, are so bold and unafraid of death, but are you also unafraid of ghosts? It was known that eunuchs who had made mistakes in the past had been punished with night duty in the Cold Palace and had been scared stark-raving mad.

“Send away anyone who comes to pay respects in the morning. Including the Emperor.” Wan Bi instructed before going to bed. “You all can sleep for a while during the day. At night, you’ll accompany this bereaved one to the Cold Palace to watch the fun.”

Yuanqian nodded, tears in her eyes. From the sound of it, they would have to pull another all-nighter tomorrow! Her Majesty said they could sleep during the day, but who could sleep soundly? They all had to remain alert, in case their master woke up with an order. After helping the Empress Dowager to bed, Yuanqian went out of the bedchamber and summoned the palace maids. “We’ll switch to three shifts and take turns resting. We have to stay up again tomorrow night, so put aside any non-urgent tasks for now. Your health is important.”

“Thank you, Maiden Yuanqian.” The palace maids dispersed, yawning, leaving only Yuanqian and a few maids from the first shift to stand guard outside the bedchamber.

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When Yao Xi woke up, she found her face was cold. Focusing her eyes, she realized she had slept all night on the stone slabs outside the main hall of Ning’an Palace. The sky was already bright, and Ning’an Palace was terrifyingly quiet.

Yuanqian, having just changed shifts and about to head back to her room to sleep, came outside. Yao Xi was still muddled, unable to remember what had happened last night. She had come to Ning’an Palace with Her Highness the Eldest Princess, and then she had gone to see the Empress Dowager… but how did she end up sleeping here?

“Maiden. Her Majesty didn’t sentence me?” Yao Xi scrambled up and asked Yuanqian.

Yuanqian, who was just about to relay the Empress Dowager’s orders, pushed Yao Xi a little further away before speaking. “Quiet down, Her Majesty is still sleeping. You are a person of great fortune and a tenacious life,⁶ Gonggong. Her Majesty considered that there was a reason for your tardiness and has only punished you with guarding the Cold Palace for three nights.”

“This slave thanks Her Majesty, the Empress Dowager, for the grace of not killing him.” Yao Xi was so excited she could barely speak clearly. What kind of incredible good fortune was this? She was only punished with three nights of guard duty? Never mind three days, three years would be fine!

“Hurry back now! And be quiet!”

Yao Xi returned to the Bureau of Imperial Gardens, overjoyed and sighing with relief the whole way. She had been sure she was going to die, but she had unexpectedly escaped this calamity. It must have been because the Eldest Princess had stepped in to plead for her. The Empress Dowager probably gave the Eldest Princess face, feeling it wasn’t necessary to harm her relationship with the princess over a mere servant.

She thought that she should thank Her Highness the Eldest Princess no matter what. Coincidentally, Zheng Dayun had brought back many fine things for her from Zhejiang. She would pick out some of the best and send them to the Eldest Princess later. One must be grateful for kindness and seek to repay it,⁷ especially when it was a life-saving grace.

The moment she stepped through the main gate of the Bureau of Imperial Gardens, Yao Xi felt that the atmosphere in the agency was strange. Everyone was staring at her, their gazes not as friendly as before. Although she didn’t have any close friends in the Bureau, her relationships with others weren’t bad. What was going on today?

Could it be because she had caused everyone to stay up late last night? That must be it. Last night, the Empress Dowager had ordered a search for her. She wasn’t some important figure; the only people who knew her were here at the Bureau of Imperial Gardens. So, the commotion last night must have kept everyone from resting well. The work at the agency was tedious and heavy, and having to work the next day after a sleepless night would naturally put everyone in a bad mood.

Yao Xi avoided the unfriendly gazes and quickened her pace, ducking into her room. She felt that if she had delayed for half a moment longer, someone would have rushed up to beat her.

The instant she entered the room, Yao Xi froze. The room was a mess, as if it had been ransacked by a thief. Her pillow and quilt were thrown on the floor. The few books she treasured were draped over a chair or tossed into a corner, and her only set of teapot and cups had been smashed.

Then, Yao Xi discovered that the gifts Zheng Dayun had given her were all gone. She pulled open the drawer and found that the blue cloth pouch containing her several hundred copper coins was also missing.

She had locked the door before she left. And the key… besides her, the only other person who had one was Liao Bing, who managed the storeroom at the Bureau of Imperial Gardens.

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