When the Female Lead Becomes Obsessive – Chapter 235

Volume Ten: Those Few Years After She and I Broke Up

Assurance

“What are you thinking about?”

Zhou Hao looked at Wen Nuan, who remained silent, her eyes so pitch-black that they were impossible to read.

Wen Nuan whispered, “It’s nothing.”

Seeing that Wen Nuan wouldn’t speak, Zhou Hao didn’t press further. He instructed, “It’s the last scene. Finish shooting it well, and we’ll leave.”

“En.”

The director was already prepared. Atop the city gate tower, Wen Nuan was hoisted high into mid-air.

A fine, continuous rain fell upon her pale face. Everyone gazed up at the half-dead huakui¹ on the city wall, sighing in their hearts that a jiaren² of a generation was perishing just like this.

“Tongzi³, I love her,” Wen Nuan whispered.

【I know.】

It was as if Wen Nuan couldn’t hear the System’s comfort. She whispered again, “I love her.”

The System couldn’t bear seeing Wen Nuan this sorrowful. 【I know, Wen Nuan. I know you love her.】

Wen Nuan kept repeating “I love her,” as if only by ceaselessly saying it could she believe in her own love.

But a cold, mean voice rang in her ears again.

“Do you really love her?”

Wen Nuan’s pupils trembled as she tried her best to prove it: “I am… I do love her!”

“Is that so?”

“You’ve never experienced what love is. Are you sure that is love?”

“Yes, it must be.”

Wen Nuan looked panicked, denying that mean voice.

“Look, you don’t even believe it yourself, do you?”

Wen Nuan shook her head. “No, no, I believe it. I believe it.”

“No, you don’t believe it.”

“I believe it! I believe she loves me, and I believe I love her!”

“No, the disbelief I’m talking about is…” The voice was laced with schadenfreude⁴ and sarcasm. “You don’t believe that you could receive such intense and pure love.”

Wen Nuan’s eyes widened, her lips trembling so much she couldn’t speak.

That mean voice seemed to have grabbed onto Wen Nuan’s sore spot and pressed the attack: “You believe in romantic love, you believe in familial love, you believe in friendship. You just don’t believe that you will get them.”

“Because you feel that a lowly person⁵ like you doesn’t deserve to receive such extreme, violent emotions.”

“Wen Nuan, from beginning to end, you haven’t deserved this kind of love.”

“Why should someone rotten to the bone like you grow a brilliant rose?”

“You are lowly, despicable and shameless, gloomy and paranoid, vain, twisted in character, arrogant and jealous. Your bad roots⁶ are so disgusting—how could you be worthy?”

That voice was full of malice, acidic and mean to the extreme.

It was like sharp swords, stabbing Wen Nuan’s body and heart until they were a bloody mess.

Wen Nuan’s eyes were bloodshot. She shook her head violently, denying it ceaselessly: “I’m not, I’m not, I’m not…”

…….

Suddenly, the sky turned dark and heavy, and a strong wind blew, scattering the light rain.

Seeing the weather turn, the director immediately yelled “Ka”⁷, preparing to wrap up work.

As soon as the words fell, the wind and clouds surged instantly, and bean-sized raindrops plummeted from the sky.

Receiving the director’s command, the people on the city wall pulled up the rope tied to Wen Nuan’s body.

Suddenly, the person pulling the rope felt a massive resistance. Moss on the city wall grew wildly in the cracks, and the staff member’s foot slipped.

Everyone on the set watched as that frail, thin body on the city wall fell like the autumn wind sweeping away fallen leaves⁸.

In that instant, the bright red blood on the bluestone slab became the most dazzling color in the gloomy world.

Tears mingled with rain, melting into the scorching hot blood.

Wen Nuan looked at the sky, which seemed ready to pour down, and a cold mechanical voice rang in her mind.

【Di! Di! Di! WU Index 100%, Character Consciousness has awakened!】

【Di! Di! Di! WU Index 100%, Character Consciousness has awakened!】

【Di! Di! Di! WU Index 100%, Character Consciousness has awakened!】

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“Yo, long time no see. How did you end up looking like this ghostly mess?”

Wen Nuan opened her eyes; what entered her vision was a near-transparent white and a playful⁹ smiling face.

She looked around and asked in confusion, “Is this… the Three Realms Space?”

How did she return here?

Did she complete her mission?

Yan Hui snapped her fingers. “Your mission isn’t finished, and your frozen points haven’t been unfrozen. Congratulations, you are first poor, second white¹⁰.”

Wen Nuan rubbed her aching forehead. She remembered the scene before she passed out.

It seemed she had fallen from the city wall.

Wen Nuan said coldly, “I died?”

Yan Hui smiled. “En, died horribly. You fell from such a high…”

She spread her arms to indicate the height. “…city wall. That was truly miserable—bloody and mangled, bones and flesh shattered, splashing blood all over people’s faces, tsk tsk.”

“…” Wen Nuan didn’t even lift her eyelids. “Guess if I believe you?”

Yan Hui pursed her lips. “I’m telling the truth; believe it or not.”

Wen Nuan braced her hands on the ground, stood up, and walked out.

Yan Hui followed behind her, saying casually¹¹, “Where are you going?”

“New recruit reporting isn’t in that direction.”

“The Pale Lands¹².” Wen Nuan’s eyes were deep, looking as if they hid a vast ocean. “I’m going to see the Lord God¹³.”

Yan Hui raised an eyebrow, looked at Wen Nuan’s frail back, and silently followed.

“My baby isn’t in the Pale Lands.”

“Then where?” Wen Nuan stopped. “Take me there.”

Yan Hui crossed her arms. “Why should I take you to see my person?”

“Because you were waiting here specifically for me.”

“What do you mean waiting for you?” Yan Hui remained stubborn as a dead duck’s bill¹⁴. “Can’t I just be here for a walk?”

Wen Nuan’s expression was indifferent. “I want to see the Lord God.”

Yan Hui gloated, “Beg me, and I’ll take you…”

Before she could finish, she heard Wen Nuan say, “I beg you, Yan Hui. Take me to see the Lord God, I beg you.”

Yan Hui froze, sighed, and turned to walk in the opposite direction. “Follow me.”

Wen Nuan immediately followed.

The two passed through a phantom image and stepped into a lush, green, scenic secluded valley.

Under a waterfall that looked like the Milky Way, there was a pavilion built of white jade. Sitting inside was undoubtedly the Lord God, Yin Shen.

Yan Hui led Wen Nuan up. She sat beside Yin Shen, pouting pitifully. “Boring.”

Yin Shen knew what Yan Hui was talking about and smiled dotingly. “Don’t always tease her.”

Yan Hui rolled her eyes, took Yin Shen’s hand, and smiled mischievously. “Then I won’t tease her; I’ll tease you. How about that?”

“You,” Yin Shen tapped her forehead. “Handle business first.”

Yan Hui sat obediently to the side and hooked her finger at Wen Nuan. “The Lord God is right here. Ask whatever you want to ask.”

Wen Nuan gave Yan Hui an eye roll, walked over, and looked into those eyes filled with compassion for the world. The grievance in her heart seemed impossible to hide.

She sniffled. Just as she was about to speak, she saw a handkerchief handed to her.

“If you want to cry, just cry.” Yan Hui tossed the handkerchief over.

Wen Nuan clutched the handkerchief, the corners of her eyes turning red. Fighting back a sob, she asked, “What is the WU Index? What use does it have?”

Yin Shen smiled faintly. “In the three thousand worlds, among all living things, eventually some will see through the secrets of heaven, break through the illusions of the world, and find all truth. This behavior is called ‘Awakening’.”

“Awakening?” Wen Nuan rolled the word around on her tongue. “Who awakened?”

People in the three thousand worlds who awakened meant they would be selected by the Main System to become taskers of the Three Realms Space. They would not be controlled by the cycle of heavenly reincarnation and could earn points by doing missions to redeem themselves and exchange for freedom.

Yin Shen said, “The Awakened One has had many names in each world.”

Wen Nuan frowned.

“She was called You Jiayi…”

Wen Nuan’s pupils trembled, and she said in disbelief, “…What?!”

“Song Ci, Lin Tinghan, Yu Wanzhao, Sheng Tingwan, Sang Er, Xiao Chuyu, Jiang Yichuan, You Daier, and Yi Jing.”

With every name Yin Shen spoke, Wen Nuan’s heart beat violently once, as if a giant hammer was smashing into it, strike after strike.

It seemed all the blood in her body rushed to her head; her scalp went numb, and her heart beat exhaustedly.

Her chest surged, shaking her soul.

Wen Nuan was so shocked her voice went hoarse. She opened her mouth: “What… what does this mean?”

She didn’t understand. She didn’t comprehend.

What exactly did this mean?

What on earth had happened?

Yin Shen stood up, walked in front of Wen Nuan, and gently tapped Wen Nuan’s brow with cold fingertips.

Wen Nuan suddenly felt physically and mentally light, as if the heavy burden pressing on her had been removed.

She looked at Yin Shen in confusion. “This is…?”

Yin Shen smiled. “All your points have been unfrozen. You can choose to give up your identity as a tasker and retire directly.”

“What do you mean?” Wen Nuan didn’t understand Yin Shen’s action.

Yan Hui explained from the side, “It means my baby is giving you a chance. She unfroze all your points to let you retire directly and enjoy your old age. Why aren’t you kneeling to give thanks¹⁵?”

No.

This wasn’t what she wanted at all, was it?

“I didn’t come to see you to unfreeze my points. I want to know about those names you just mentioned. Are they all one person?”

“Yes, they are all one person. They are the Awakened One.”

Wen Nuan was somewhat incoherent; she tried to stabilize her restless emotions.

She spoke earnestly, “Lord God, I want to see them… no, I want to see that Awakened One. Can you let me see her?”

Yin Shen was puzzled. “Your mission has already ended. Why do you still care about the people in the mission worlds?”

Wen Nuan was stunned by the question. The answer seemed to be right in her mouth, but she couldn’t say it for a long time.

“In the mission worlds, everything is an illusion. I know taskers often lose themselves in missions and project their emotions. If you are unable to sever everything, you can undergo emotional purging to restore peace to yourself.”

She didn’t want that.

She didn’t want emotional purging.

Those memories, those emotions—she treated them as precious treasures, as life itself. How could she bear to forget her?

“I don’t want it,” Wen Nuan blurted out, refusing. “I don’t want emotional purging.”

“Then what do you want?” Yin Shen was very patient.

What did she want?

What did she want?!

Wen Nuan kept thinking, kept questioning her heart.

She looked straight at Yin Shen and said firmly, “I want to see her.”

“See her? So what if you see her?” Yin Shen said frankly. “To her, you are nothing more than a void in a mission world. She won’t remember you, and even if she remembers, she won’t care.”

“So what?”

Her gaze was bright and clear. “I remember her, I love her, and that is enough.”

“Even if it means re-entering the Great Reincarnation of the three thousand worlds?”

Wen Nuan took a deep breath. “I’ve thought it through. I am willing to use all my points to exchange for a chance to be with her again. Even if I can only reach white heads together¹⁶ with her once, that will do.”

They had gone through ten worlds and failed to grow old together in any of them.

Now, she was betting everything to exchange for one baitou.

Yan Hui hooked the corner of her mouth. Yin Shen’s expression softened as she smiled faintly. “You don’t actually need to pay everything. You just need to believe in yourself.”

Wen Nuan was completely confused. Seeing Yan Hui laughing wildly, she felt unsettled.

“Lord God, what do you mean by that?”

“Wen Nuan, I have known you until now, and I understand you somewhat. I want to tell you that anyone deserves to have love, and is worthy of being liked.”

Yin Shen smiled gently and compassionately, like a god pitying all living beings.

“Wen Nuan, the prerequisite for loving others is that you must first love yourself.”

“You beg others to believe you over and over again, but do you believe in your own ability to receive love and to be loved?”

Wen Nuan bit her lip, and tears finally broke through the floodgates, streaming down.

Yan Hui turned her head away, not wanting to see this guy looking so fragile and unbearable.

Yin Shen looked at the weeping Wen Nuan in front of her and said softly, “I know you have many questions to ask me, but I can only answer one doubt. The rest you will have to comprehend yourself.”

Wen Nuan’s body went tense. With a trembling voice, she asked, “What is the price… of returning to the Source World?”

She saw a sliver of light; it was the crack in her heart.

Only by ruthlessly piercing it, by tearing the scar open, could she see the true light.

Yin Shen understood and said, “The price of returning to the Source World is for the Awakened One to voluntarily give up the chance to awaken and re-enter reincarnation.”

Wen Nuan’s eyes widened, staring at Yin Shen in disbelief.

The scar was tearing at her; she felt a pain drilling into the heart and stabbing the bone¹⁷.

“After you finished the Baijie Mission¹⁸, the mission worlds were about to close. But at that moment, the plot in ten of those mission worlds couldn’t advance and stopped at the time point you left. Because of this, the Awakened One was born.”

“The Awakened One did not become a tasker of the Three Realms Space. Instead, she made a deal with me.”

“She said she voluntarily gave up the identity of the Awakened One in exchange for you changing your heart and turning your mind¹⁹ once, for the prodigal to return²⁰.”

Yin Shen looked at Wen Nuan, who was crying uncontrollably, and rubbed her palm on Wen Nuan’s trembling head.

With a slight push, she sent her away from the Three Realms Space.

Yan Hui walked to Yin Shen’s side, wrapped an arm around her waist, and sighed. “What a sin²¹.”

“It’s not a sin,” Yin Shen nestled into Yan Hui’s embrace. “It is niepan²².”

She had once asked that Awakened One if she had any assurance.

Paying such a huge price—if the ending was bleak, wouldn’t she be cutting off her own retreat?

The Awakened One had simply said one sentence: “I am using my life to love her; does that count as assurance?”

Yan Hui lowered her head and kissed Yin Shen’s brow. “En, she has plenty of confidence in this assurance.”

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