Volume Seven: The Years I Was a General
Flower-Picking Thief1
Locked again?
Wen Nuan looked pitifully at Xiao Chuyu, “Is Your Majesty going to lock this guilty subject in the water prison again?”
Xiao Chuyu paused for a moment. “…That is not what Zhen meant.”
“Then what did Your Majesty mean?”
Xiao Chuyu was silent for a long while, then pulled Wen Nuan to turn and leave. “…Return to the palace.”
She had originally wanted to tie Gu Wen Nuan to her side forever and ever, but right now Gu Wen Nuan was at her side, unable to escape. Calculating it this way, whether she was locked up or not seemed to be not so important anymore.
Seeing that Xiao Chuyu no longer mentioned locking her up, Wen Nuan breathed a sigh of relief. “Okay.”
She had almost thought she was going to be locked in the water prison by Xiao Chuyu again. If she were locked inside one more time, Xiao Chuyu’s blackening value would be even harder to decrease.
The two returned to Zhongming Hall. Xiao Chuyu sat down, and Wen Nuan stood obediently to one side. Yuan Qi placed the tea on the table, then turned and left the somewhat oppressive and unspeakably awkward Zhongming Hall.
Xiao Chuyu took a sip of tea. “You ran to the Imperial Garden these past few days just to pluck the moon for Zhen today?”
Wen Nuan nodded. “Mm-hm.”
Xiao Chuyu’s hand paused. “Couldn’t you have done it in Zhongming Hall?”
“Zhongming Hall doesn’t have the right atmosphere.”
“What do you mean?”
“If we’re talking about the most beautiful place in the imperial palace, it’s naturally the Imperial Garden.” Wen Nuan had originally been thinking of being under the flowers and before the moon2, talking of love, but it had all been ruined.
“This guilty subject naturally wanted to pluck the most beautiful moon in the most beautiful place to offer to Your Majesty.”
The corner of Xiao Chuyu’s mouth hooked into a barely perceptible arc as she snorted coldly. “The people of the world often say the young general is brave and resourceful, full of cunning schemes. Zhen didn’t expect that you would also be so full of resourcefulness when it comes to these little tricks for making people happy?”
Wen Nuan could sense Xiao Chuyu’s good mood at that moment. “Then is Your Majesty happy today?”
“It’s acceptable,” Xiao Chuyu raised an eyebrow. “What? Do you want a reward?”
Wen Nuan shook her head. “This is a birthday gift from this guilty subject to Your Majesty. How could it be used to exchange for Your Majesty’s reward?”
Birthday gift?
“Are you planning to dismiss Zhen with a moon in the water3?” Xiao Chuyu’s gaze sharpened, her words laced with sarcasm. “Gu Wen Nuan, you really know how to plan, don’t you?”
Wen Nuan said nothing and turned in a circle.
Xiao Chuyu’s brow furrowed. “What are you doing?”
Wen Nuan spread her hands and smiled. “What did Your Majesty see?”
“Gu Wen Nuan.”
Wen Nuan paused, then smiled. “Besides me, what else did you see?”
“Nothing at all. Zhen can only see you.”
Looking at Wen Nuan’s beaming smile, Xiao Chuyu suddenly realized that the words she had just spoken were ambiguous.
She said hurriedly, “In this Zhongming Hall, besides you, there is only Zhen. You are wandering around in front of Zhen; if Zhen couldn’t see you, is it possible Zhen could see something else?”
The moment her voice fell, a gust of wind blew in from outside the door, rolling up the light gauze curtain.
Wen Nuan: “….”
A bit chilly.
Xiao Chuyu: “….”
A bit strange.
The System comforted her: 【Don’t be afraid, recite with me…】
【Prosperity, Democracy, Civility, Harmony, Freedom, Equality, Justice, Rule of Law, Patriotism, Dedication, Integrity, Friendship.】
Wen Nuan: “….”
She blocked the Diamond Sutra4 the System was chanting in her mind and patted her chest. “This guilty subject has nothing at all from head to toe. Besides this guilty subject’s life and this broken body, this guilty subject has nothing to give to Your Majesty.”
Although she said this, Xiao Chuyu was still very unhappy.
In the past, the gifts Gu Wen Nuan had given her were novel and interesting; she had loved them so much she couldn’t put them down and was filled with joy. Only the coral stone given during those three years was clearly perfunctory at a glance, but she had also preserved it properly, looking after it carefully.
Now, the moon in the water Gu Wen Nuan gave her could only be looked at for a moment and couldn’t be kept at all. And all of Gu Wen Nuan’s possessions had been confiscated by her; at this moment, besides a body full of injuries and a single life, she was indeed as poor as as if washed clean5.
Xiao Chuyu thought it through very clearly, but when she put down the teacup, she couldn’t control the resentment in her heart. The teacup was smashed by her onto the table, and as a result, the originally hard pearwood6 table was actually smashed to pieces by her.
“…..” Xiao Chuyu looked at the pearwood, split into four and cracked into five7, the blue veins on her forehead throbbing. “Yuan Qi, what is going on here?”
Yuan Qi ran in hurriedly, looked at the shattered pearwood, and knelt on the ground. “This slave… this slave truly does not know how this pearwood…”
The wood of the pearwood tree is tough and resilient, and looking at the break, it didn’t seem to have been cut, but rather as if it had been fiercely broken apart or slapped until it cracked.
Her eyes narrowed as she looked toward Wen Nuan, who was already inching her way out, and said, word by word, “Gu-Wen-nuan!”
Wen Nuan said awkwardly, “This guilty subject can explain.”
Xiao Chuyu picked up a table leg and said furiously, “Are you trying to escape!?”
With Gu Wen Nuan’s martial arts, she could kill her way out of the palace by just casually picking up a table leg.
“This guilty subject is not. This was accidentally broken by this guilty subject.”
Wen Nuan hadn’t expected the pearwood table that had been pieced together to be so fragile.
【I told you I could provide superglue. Now you’re in an awkward spot, aren’t you.】 the System said, picking its nose.
“Scram. You’re selling me a 10-milliliter tube of superglue for fifty points. Even robbery isn’t as blatant as you.” Wen Nuan rebuked painfully.
【You get what you pay for8. With my superglue, you could stand on it, and even if a cannon blasted this pearwood table, it wouldn’t even lose a splinter.】
“What’s the use of saying all this now?” Wen Nuan was worried about the blackening value. “Has Xiao Chuyu’s blackening value increased?”
【If the female lead’s blackening value had risen, I wouldn’t be calmly discussing superglue with you right now.】 the System said with a smile.
Wen Nuan breathed a sigh of relief. “That’s good, then.”
She had really thought Xiao Chuyu’s blackening value would rise; it had scared her to death.
“Accidentally broken?” Xiao Chuyu looked at the break, her eyes narrowing. “Do you think Zhen is very easy to deceive? This was accidentally broken?”
Wen Nuan’s eyes darted, and she said aggrievedly, “Hasn’t this guilty subject been lying in bed every day recuperating? My body was about to be ruined from lying down. This guilty subject was just thinking of getting out of bed to move my muscles and bones and practice martial arts a bit. As a result, I wasn’t paying attention for a moment and smashed Your Majesty’s table.”
Xiao Chuyu didn’t believe Wen Nuan’s explanation at all. What moving muscles and bones and practicing martial arts? It was fundamentally about wanting to escape from her.
She pulled Wen Nuan into the inner chamber9, threw her onto the bed, her eyes filled with danger, and said fiercely, “Gu Wen Nuan, Zhen have told you hundreds of times, don’t think about escaping the imperial palace. If Zhen discover you pulling these little tricks again, Zhen will lock you in the water prison and let you taste those tortures again, torturing you to death over and over. Do you understand?”
Afraid that her blackening value would rise, Wen Nuan immediately nodded in agreement. “Okay.”
“Yuan Qi, burn those remnants for me.”
Yuan Qi replied, “Nuo.”
“Take away all the porcelain, ornaments, and tables and chairs in the hall for Zhen.” Xiao Chuyu looked at Wen Nuan lying on the bed and raised a hand to touch her face. “From now on in Zhongming Hall, besides this bed, have everything else removed for Zhen.”
Yuan Qi paused for a moment, then replied, “Nuo.”
Her icy hand landed on Wen Nuan’s neck, fiercely gripping her throat.
Xiao Chuyu’s gaze was ferocious, her tone ice-cold, as she threatened, “Gu Wen Nuan, if you have the ability, then smash this bed and see if you can escape.”
“This guilty subject would be reluctant to smash this bed,” Wen Nuan tilted her head back, exposing her slender neck to Xiao Chuyu.
She reached her hand into Xiao Chuyu’s wide sleeve, the pad of her finger rubbing against her soft and smooth skin, her tone carrying a seductive force. “This bed must be kept for this guilty subject to please Your Majesty.”
“Or is it that Your Majesty doesn’t like it in bed, but prefers it in the water?”
A faint blush appeared on Xiao Chuyu’s face. She released her hand. “Gu Wen Nuan, don’t you feel disgusted?”
“Disgusted by what?”
“In order to live, pleasing someone you detest so much, don’t you feel humiliated?”
Wen Nuan’s expression was indifferent as she said calmly, “In Your Majesty’s eyes, am I, Gu Wen Nuan, the kind of person who is willing to debase herself in order to live?”
Xiao Chuyu was startled. In her impression, Gu Wen Nuan was never a person who would wrong herself or change her principles for the sake of survival or for power and influence.
This person, Gu Wen Nuan, said one and meant one10; her temper was very hard. Before she went to Mobei to fight in the war, she was the famous Little Overlord of the Capital11.
Otherwise, back when Old General Gu had nearly beaten Gu Wen Nuan to death, Gu Wen Nuan still refused to apologize to the Fifth Prince.
There was also the time the late emperor’s favored consort’s parrot was smashed to death by Gu Wen Nuan. After the late emperor learned of it, he ordered Gu Wen Nuan to apologize to the favored consort. Gu Wen Nuan would rather die than obey and was beaten thirty times with the dragon whip12 by the late emperor. The next day, she was still alive and kicking and proceeded to smash the favored consort’s other parrot to death, angering the favored consort so much that she fell ill and couldn’t get up.
Or at the late emperor’s birthday banquet, Gu Wen Nuan drank too much and fiercely beat up the Second Prince, making a complete mess of the late emperor’s birthday banquet. This angered the late emperor, who directly punished Gu Wen Nuan by making her kneel in front of Hezhen Hall13, saying that she could get up whenever she realized she was wrong. As a result, Gu Wen Nuan simply would not admit fault and forcefully knelt for seven days and seven nights, finally fainting from a fever before the matter was considered completely over.
There were many other things. The things Gu Wen Nuan did were earth-shattering and heaven-defying14 and audaciously daring15. If it weren’t for Old General Gu’s great toil and high merit, having a son in his old age, following the late emperor to battle on the sandy fields for many years, and jointly experiencing a change of dynasty—and moreover, the current Empress Dowager being Gu Wen Nuan’s paternal aunt—otherwise, with Gu Wen Nuan’s reckless way of doing things, without the Gu family’s protection and the Empress Dowager’s doting, she would have been beaten to death by the late emperor long ago.
This sentence from Gu Wen Nuan made Xiao Chuyu suddenly think of past matters. She was afraid she could never remember how audaciously daring the past Gu Wen Nuan was, how much she followed her own heart, how much she dared to act and take responsibility… and how very, very good she was to her.
But why couldn’t she remember Gu Wen Nuan’s goodness to her at all before?
Why was it that what she remembered was always Gu Wen Nuan’s badness to her?
Why would she always interpret the words Gu Wen Nuan said as having another meaning?
Why….
Xiao Chuyu suddenly felt her head was splitting with pain and roared in a low voice, “Ah… ah….”
Wen Nuan hugged Xiao Chuyu, her palm covering her chest, circulating her internal energy16 to soothe her currently unbearably painful head.
Xiao Chuyu’s eyes were hazy. She tightly gripped Wen Nuan’s wrist and said with all her might, “Zhen.. Zhen does not allow you… to escape…”
Wen Nuan agreed completely. “Mm-hm, this guilty subject will not leave. This guilty subject will forever stay by Your Majesty’s side.”
“You are not allowed to leave, Gu Wen Nuan… Zhen doesn’t allow you to leave….” Xiao Chuyu had already fainted, but her mouth was still ceaselessly murmuring, “You cannot… cannot… leave Zhen….”
Wen Nuan wiped the sweat from her forehead, kissed the space between her eyebrows, and said with pity, “I won’t leave. I will forever be by your side. Wait for me, it will be better soon.”
As if she had heard Wen Nuan’s words, Xiao Chuyu’s tightly furrowed brows gradually relaxed, and her expression became much more peaceful.
The two slept in each other’s embrace, looking very harmonious and congenial.
Seeing that the two on the bed were both asleep, Yuan Qi moved away the last porcelain vase, closed the palace gate properly, and left.
Early the next morning, Xiao Chuyu groggily opened her eyes. Rubbing her aching and swollen head, she sat up. Looking at the completely empty Zhongming Hall, her mind went blank for a moment.
“Did… we get robbed?”
Wen Nuan got up and chuckled lightly. “Mm, by a flower-picking thief.”
Xiao Chuyu paused, her consciousness returning, and she remembered why Zhongming Hall was so empty.
She was slightly embarrassed. She glared at Wen Nuan and said coldly, “Then do you think this flower-picking thief should be locked in the Zhaoyu and severely tortured?”
Wen Nuan moved closer, her eyes crinkling into a smile. “Would Your Majesty have the heart?”
Her smile made Xiao Chuyu’s heart skip a beat. She feigned composure and said, “To deal with a flower-picking thief, one must be ruthless and merciless. It’s best to chop off her hands and feet, so she cannot do evil.”
“If the flower-picking thief has no hands and feet, how can she explore the pleasures of the human world?”
“She may not have hands and feet, but doesn’t she still have a mouth?” Xiao Chuyu snorted with a laugh. “From what Zhen can see, that flower-picking thief is quite eloquent. Being without hands and feet won’t be a hindrance.”
“A mouth?” Wen Nuan extended the tip of her pink tongue and ambiguously licked her lips. “Your Majesty is right. Some pleasures, even without hands and feet, can produce a different kind of flavor with just a mouth.”
Xiao Chuyu’s original intention was to say that Wen Nuan was eloquent and a smooth talker. How did it become so thoroughly improper when Wen Nuan said it?
Especially her licked lips, rosy like vermilion, like a blooming scarlet peony, captivating the soul.
Xiao Chuyu’s eyes were a bit flustered. Just as she was about to get out of bed to wash up, she was pulled back by Wen Nuan.
“Let… let go.”
Wen Nuan held on tightly. “Since Your Majesty says this guilty subject is a flower-picking thief, then this guilty subject must accept this criminal charge and make it real.”
Xiao Chuyu’s brow furrowed. “What do you mean?”
Wen Nuan pulled tight the bed curtain that had been blown up by the wind, pulled Xiao Chuyu into her embrace, and gave a slyly wicked smile. “A flower-picking thief, a flower-picking thief, naturally must pick flowers.”
“It’s still early. Some fresh flowers are blooming most luxuriantly at this time. Not to pick them would be a waste.”
The author has something to say:
Prosperity, Democracy, Civility, Harmony, Freedom, Equality, Justice, Rule of Law, Patriotism, Dedication, Integrity, Friendship——taken from 《Socialist Core Values》17
✨ Unlock Early Access to Chapters! ✨
Choose your perfect membership at bamboopandatl.net:
📚 Full Access ($4.99)
• Advanced chapters of ALL ongoing novels
• Access to complete finished novels
• Ad-free reading experience
📖 Single Novel Access ($1.49)
• Advanced chapters of ONE specific novel
• Ad-free reading for chosen novel
PayPal is the only current payment option!