Troublesome – Chapter 96

Dirtied

It is your heart that is.

Lu Zhenqiu stood downstairs of the residential community building looking up. She had come to this place a few times; the first time was when Tang Yingxia was changing apartments. That was at the end of the year, and she helped Tang Yingxia move. Later, several friends gathered in the apartment to eat hotpot. A friend asked, “God Xia, now you have a car, a house, and a wife, life is happy, right?”

Tang Yingxia smiled, “It’s no use being envious.”

The friend joked, “Of course, ah. Who wouldn’t envy a wife like yours? Houses and cars can be bought, but a wife can’t be bought, ah. If I had a wife like Qiuqiu, I reckon I’d be happy even in my dreams.”

Tang Yingxia glanced at her, and their eyes met in the crowd. The two of them smiled.

The friend asked again, “When are you going public, ah? Let us also openly and honorably eat candy¹.”

Tang Yingxia’s smile faded. She thought deeply for a moment and then said, “We’ll talk about it later.”

The topic came to an end. After that, Tang Yingxia did not bring it up again. Even when they were alone, she never spoke of this issue again, only offering an opinion when she was changing jobs: “Go to my friend’s place. I’ve already spoken to them for you. The compensation is not bad.”

She had said the same thing two years ago.

The cold wind rustled. Lu Zhenqiu stood downstairs, trembling. She began to recall many details she hadn’t noticed before. With every detail she recalled, her face grew a shade paler. The eyes that looked up at the building’s floors were full of suppressed pain.

What on earth had a romance, which she had previously thought was ordinary, brought her?

Lu Zhenqiu’s figure swayed, blown hard by the cold wind. She retreated two steps backward, tears blurring the vision in her eyes. She lowered her head, took a deep breath, and wiped away the tears from the corners of her eyes. She bit her lip so hard she didn’t notice when the corner of it broke. The sticky, bloody taste rushed into her throat, scalding hot. She choked out a sound, and as she coughed, threads of blood filled the gaps between her teeth, tasting as if they were of rust.

She stood quietly for nearly a dozen minutes before taking out her phone to call Tang Yingxia. Her voice was even colder than the wind: “Are you at home?”

Tang Yingxia was first startled to unexpectedly receive her call, her back breaking out in a sweat. She looked at the screen, where Lu Yan was still asking anxiously: 【God Xia, what do I do, ah?】

What to do?

How would she know.

Lu Yan grew more anxious when she didn’t get a reply from Tang Yingxia. She truly hadn’t known that it was an audition for an emotional broadcast drama. It was Tang Yingxia who had sent it to her, saying she heard about it from a friend. Recently, she had often complained about Lu Zhenqiu, saying she snatched resources and was also being kept by the boss. The boss had even kicked her out to come back first for Lu Zhenqiu’s sake and also wanted to kick her out of Sanshui.

Her friends deeply believed it without a doubt. Even Tang Yingxia would occasionally say to her, “I didn’t expect it, ah.”

So she felt that they were on the same path. When she received Tang Yingxia’s message, she exposed it without a second thought. It was a side account anyway, so who would know it was her? But now, countless netizens were guessing that this side account was hers. She definitely couldn’t admit it, nor could she let the matter blow up, in case it blew up and her fans really found out.

Lu Yan’s face turned white with fright!

She looked helplessly at the computer screen, thinking Tang Yingxia would help her think of a solution; after all, she was the one who had sent her the audio. Who would have thought the message would be like a stone sinking into the great sea²? Lu Yan panicked and couldn’t resist sending another message to Tang Yingxia: 【God Xia?】

Tang Yingxia turned off the computer and answered Lu Zhenqiu’s call, her forehead covered in sweat. “What’s wrong?”

Lu Zhenqiu said, “Are you at home? Can you come downstairs?”

Tang Yingxia gripped her phone tightly, silent for two seconds. “Coming.”

She even forgot to put on proper clothes, just slipping on a set of house clothes as she walked out of the residential community. Lu Zhenqiu was sitting by the curb at the community’s entrance. She was curled up, her gaze empty. Snow fell at her side, landing on her and coating her in a halo of light.

Tang Yingxia didn’t know if Lu Zhenqiu knew that the recent events were related to her. Her heart was in her throat, and her body was tense. She didn’t walk over, but instead called out from a distance, “Qiuqiu?”

Lu Zhenqiu turned her head. Tang Yingxia was standing under a streetlamp, looking at her.

She focused her gaze and walked over without hesitation. Before she could even speak, she heard Tang Yingxia ask, “Why did you suddenly come? And you didn’t even give me a call. Are you cold? Why don’t we go upstairs to talk, okay?”

“No need.” Lu Zhenqiu’s face was whiter than paper, her thin body trembling as it was blown by the wind. She composed herself and looked at Tang Yingxia, her tone ice-cold as she said, “I just came to ask you a few things.”

Tang Yingxia’s heart dropped with a thump. She put on an expression as if nothing was wrong and nodded. “What things?”

Lu Zhenqiu said, “Two years ago, did Zhen Yuan ask you to pass a message to me?”

“Zhen Yuan?” Tang Yingxia was dazed for a moment. She had thought it was about the recent events, how did it get dragged back to two years ago? But thinking that it was a distant two years ago, Tang Yingxia’s suspended heart gradually settled back down. Her expression was as usual as she shook her head. “I don’t know.”

Lu Zhenqiu asked her, “Is it that you didn’t know she asked you to pass on a message? Or that you don’t know why you didn’t tell me? Tang Yingxia, do you think I would come looking for you for no reason at all? Why don’t we call Zhen Yuan right now? And ask her face-to-face?”

“Is there a need for that?” Seeing her cold attitude, Tang Yingxia’s attitude also changed. “Weren’t you and her not on good terms two years ago? I saw that your relationship with her wasn’t good, so I figured you wouldn’t like her recommendation either, so I didn’t tell you.”

“So this matter did happen, but you didn’t tell me. You made the decision for me without authorization?”

Lu Zhenqiu’s voice rose. “On what basis? On what basis do you make decisions for me?”

Two years ago, precisely because of that matter with Zhen Yuan, she had fallen into a career slump. If she had known earlier that Zhen Yuan was actually helping her make a connection, known that Zhen Yuan didn’t think that way, she definitely wouldn’t have…

Lu Zhenqiu wanted to cry but had no tears. Two years ago, everything she had known was fake!

All of it was fake!

She really didn’t know where Tang Yingxia got the face³ to say, “I rejected it for you.” Did Tang Yingxia know what she had rejected? It was her development, it was her career!

In the cold wind, Lu Zhenqiu was so upset she couldn’t control herself. The emotions she had endured the whole way finally collapsed. Hearing this explanation felt even more absurd and bizarre. She laughed emptily at the wind, a pained and suppressed sound. Seeing this, Tang Yingxia couldn’t help but shout, “Qiuqiu…”

“Fine, you thought I wasn’t on good terms with Zhen Yuan, so you refused for me.” Lu Zhenqiu took a deep breath. “Then what about the other recommendations? Tang Yingxia, on what basis did you delete those too?”

Tang Yingxia frowned. “What deleted?”

“The invitations from other drama crews, Ji Zibo’s invitation.” Lu Zhenqiu gnashed her teeth. “Do you dare say you haven’t moved hands and feet⁴?”

During that period, precisely because of the matter with Zhen Yuan, she didn’t dare to go online. It was Tang Yingxia who had said, “Don’t think about anything for now, just rest well. I’ll explain the matters online, I’ll handle them.” She even asked for her account, saying she would help her keep an eye on messages.

Lu Zhenqiu turned her head. “You logged into my account, was it just to delete those messages?”

“What deleting messages?” Tang Yingxia panicked inwardly, yet she still spoke with forceful words⁵. “I don’t even know what you’re talking about. Qiuqiu, are you thinking too much?”

“Am I the one who’s thinking too much?” Lu Zhenqiu asked again, “At that time, were you acquainted with Zhen Yuan’s investor?”

Tang Yingxia’s expression changed slightly. She was silent for two seconds. “She and I…”

“Why didn’t I receive the message sent by Zhen Yuan?” Lu Zhenqiu seemed to have just figured it out, those fragmented memories now strung together into a single thread. She looked into Tang Yingxia’s eyes and asked, “During that time, you said you wanted to add an associated account with me, so I gave it to you. Do you really think I’m a fool?”

“Qiuqiu.” Tang Yingxia denied it to the death. “Other than the matter with Zhen Yuan, I really don’t know anything, nor did I see those invitations you’re talking about. I know you’re on good terms with Ji Zibo now, in her drama crew, but does that mean the words she says are true? Two years ago, you were nothing but a newcomer who had just learned how to do voice acting. Would she have sought you out?”

Nothing but a newcomer who had just learned how to do voice acting.

Lu Zhenqiu laughed with anger. She wiped a handful of water droplets from her face and took a deep look at Tang Yingxia. How could a person be so malicious? Was Tang Yingxia like this when she first met her? Or did she change later?

She didn’t make a sound. Tang Yingxia felt uncertain. For matters from two years ago, there was no longer any evidence. It was only the matter with Zhen Yuan that she couldn’t explain, but if they really made a scene, she wouldn’t be in the wrong either. Two years ago, that matter between Zhen Yuan and Lu Zhenqiu had caused such a big fuss; she was worried Lu Zhenqiu would get hurt, so she didn’t tell her. It was reasonable and fair.

As for the other matters.

Tang Yingxia’s gaze flickered. Lu Zhenqiu watched the snowflakes fall and shouted, “Tang Yingxia, I can say that in the two years I dated you, I never did a single thing to let you down. The breakup can’t be said to have been a matter of gathering well and scattering well⁶, but you lay a hand on your heart and ask yourself, when have I, Lu Zhenqiu, ever deceived you?”

She turned her head to look at Tang Yingxia, her gaze burning. The corners of her eyes were red from crying, but it didn’t in the least diminish the clarity in their depths. Tang Yingxia met her gaze for two seconds before looking away. Lu Zhenqiu asked, “Do I not even deserve to get a single truth?”

Tang Yingxia swallowed. Her hands clenched and then loosened. Her expression was exceptionally ugly. In the end, she still bit the bullet and said, “The matters from two years ago are just like that. Other than the matter with Zhen Yuan, which I didn’t tell you about, there were no other matters, and certainly not any ‘truth’ like you said. I don’t know where you heard these things, but what didn’t happen, didn’t happen.”

Lu Zhenqiu stared at her. Because of her gaze, for the first time, Tang Yingxia didn’t dare to meet her eyes, just looking away to other places. Lu Zhenqiu asked again, “You’re not deceiving me?”

Her enunciation was clear, each word as if thrown to the ground and making a sound. “Tang Yingxia, do you dare to say that you didn’t delete my messages, didn’t touch my account, and haven’t deceived me?”

Every single word hammered on Tang Yingxia’s heart. The feelings she had when she did those things long ago surged up. Her face was a mixture of green and white. Not daring to look at Lu Zhenqiu, she turned her head and said, “I didn’t…”

Lu Zhenqiu walked forward and stood in front of her. Tang Yingxia hadn’t finished speaking when, with a surprised gaze, she saw Lu Zhenqiu’s raised hand!

“Pa!“

A fierce slap landed on Tang Yingxia’s right cheek, leaving a fiery, burning sensation. Tang Yingxia was astonished. “Lu Zhenqiu, are you crazy?!”

“Yes, ah, I’m crazy.” Lu Zhenqiu said, “I’d have to be crazy to have been entangled with a person like you for two years…”

Tang Yingxia clutched her face, her voice sharp. “And you think you’re such a fine piece of goods? Without me, weren’t you still kept by the boss, still selling your body? I’m truly fortunate now, fortunate that I never had a relationship with you. You make me feel very dirty.”

Lu Zhenqiu retreated two steps backward, as if she had never known the person before her. She looked at Tang Yingxia with cold eyes and said, “Fortunate? Very dirty?” Then she shook her head, her gaze like she was looking at a stranger, and said, “Tang Yingxia, have you ever thought that the one who is dirty isn’t someone else, it’s yourself. It’s your heart that has been dirtied.”

Tang Yingxia’s right cheek immediately felt as if it had been burned by fire, the sting causing her entire body to feel as if it had fallen into a volcano, every inch of her skin aching from the scorch.

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The author has something to say:

Thirty red envelopes, memeda.

Tang Yingxia and Lu Yan will both be dealt with. Teacher Jin will also be back soon. This book is a short, sweet story written to be relaxing and shouldn’t be very long, but Teacher Jin and Qiuqiu will still accompany us for a bit longer than 61⁷ and Songsong⁸ did.

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