Retreat
I did not retreat.
Jin Shuilan knitted her brows: “Come out to eat?”
She looked at the things that were halfway moved, sighed lightly: “No time.”
Bai Mao asked: “Really?”
Jin Shuilan’s brows furrowed tighter and tighter: “If you have something to say, say it directly.”
Bai Mao glanced at Lu Zhenqiu and said: “No, it’s just that I just ran into Qiuqiu…”
Before the rest of the words were finished, Jin Shuilan asked: “Where?”
Bai Mao laughed, she knew she couldn’t sit still, and deliberately didn’t say the location, chatting idly: “Ai, the weather is really nice, we were just shopping.”
Jin Shuilan lowered her head and placed the book in a box, saying: “Then you can slowly sunbathe, the matter of the radio drama, I guess isn’t urgent anymore.”
“Ai ai ai!” One sentence hit Bai Mao’s sore spot, Bai Mao surrendered: “I’ll send you the location.”
Jin Shuilan said: “You guys go ahead and browse, I’ll be a little late.”
Bai Mao hung up the phone. Jin Shuilan put the packed things into a box, and finally pulled open a drawer, opened that notebook, and a folded poster fell out from the middle. The person in the poster was precisely Lu Zhenqiu.
She stared at it for a moment before placing it back inside the notebook.
Half an hour later, she had packed everything up, pushed open the door to the apartment next door and walked in. Although no one lived next door, an auntie was regularly hired to clean it, so it was very clean. Jin Shuilan pushed open the window to air it out. The weather was nice. She had originally planned to stay at home and catch up on sleep, but now after receiving Bai Mao’s call, she definitely couldn’t sleep. Jin Shuilan went into the bathroom to take a simple shower, and even put on some light makeup to cover her dark circles, and only then went to the room to change her clothes.
This was her parents’ house, but no one lived in it. She used to come here to stay every so often, so it was fully equipped. For clothes, she put on a light yellow base-layer sweater, slim-fit jeans that were fleece-lined, which also made her legs look exceptionally slender when worn. On the outside, she wore a long, blue down jacket, and also tied a scarf. Finally, she grabbed her bag, walked out the door, got in her car, and navigated to the address Bai Mao had mentioned.
From afar, she saw four people walking over from the other end. Everyone was carrying milk tea in their hands; Lu Zhenqiu was carrying two cups. Xiao Yu asked: “Is Teacher Jin still coming?”
She hadn’t eaten breakfast and had been wandering around until now, so she was a little hungry. Bai Mao said: “She should be. She said on the phone just now that she was coming.”
Hua Luo said: “Why don’t we go find a hotel again? It’s so cold outside.”
Lu Zhenqiu subconsciously looked around. She said: “Let’s wait a little longer…”
Before she finished speaking, she saw Jin Shuilan’s car. But it was far away, so she couldn’t see the person inside. Jin Shuilan, who was sitting in the car, saw Lu Zhenqiu look over. She opened the door, got out, and greeted everyone.
“Teacher Jin is here.” Xiao Yu smiled: “Teacher Jin, can we let Maomao stay in your car?”
Just now they had looked for two hotels, but they didn’t allow pets inside. Jin Shuilan handed the key to Lu Zhenqiu and said: “You can take Maomao over.”
Lu Zhenqiu took it and handed the milk tea to Jin Shuilan. Jin Shuilan looked down; it was the flavor she liked to drink. Bai Mao walked to her side: “What’s the situation? You didn’t come with her this morning?”
Jin Shuilan glanced at her, smiled, and didn’t speak.
Soon, Lu Zhenqiu came back. She returned the key to Jin Shuilan. Jin Shuilan took a sip of the milk tea and said: “Thank you.”
Lu Zhenqiu lowered her head: “It was Teacher Bai’s treat.”
Jin Shuilan said: “The flavor was chosen by you.”
Lu Zhenqiu held the milk tea, her fingertips resting on the edge of the cup, rubbing it twice. Bai Mao asked: “What did you mean on the phone? When do we start work?”
“In half a month.” Jin Shuilan said: “Zibo has already contacted other production teams.”
Bai Mao nodded. Hua Luo was curious: “What’s this about? Is Teacher Bai going to do an radio drama?”
“Mhm.” Bai Mao said: “The one we talked about before, 《Stirred Emotions》, is about to start recording.”
Hua Luo clapped her hands excitedly: “I love that one! Who’s voicing it?”
Jin Shuilan replied to her: “Qiuqiu and Bai Nuannuan.”
“Bai Nuannuan!” Hua Luo’s eyes lit up: “My goddess!”
Bai Mao tilted her head and suddenly said: “You have quite a few goddesses.”
Hua Luo giggled: “Not that many, not that many. Different goddesses for different fields, ma!”
It actually made some sense. Bai Mao felt sullen for a moment, suddenly feeling a bit stifled. She glanced at Hua Luo several times, but Hua Luo didn’t get the signal and was still saying: “So are you guys doing a shed recording1 or what?”
Jin Shuilan said: “Most likely a shed recording. The efficiency is higher, and communication is also more convenient.”
Nowadays, most radio dramas choose shed recording; it can be completed in half a month. Lu Zhenqiu turned her head to glance at Jin Shuilan, who was answering the question. The reflection on her gold-rimmed glasses was very glaring.
Hua Luo said: “That’s great! Can I visit the set2?”
Bai Mao asked: “Who are you visiting?”
Hua Luo said: “Qiuqiu, ah, and the two goddesses.”
When Bai Mao heard herself being included, her gloomy mood improved a little, but she didn’t agree directly, instead saying: “We’ll see when the time comes.”
Hua Luo was so excited it was as if they could pull up the studio and start recording immediately, happier than the people actually involved. Xiao Yu used to be in this circle too, but she had left it two or three years ago and couldn’t join the conversation. Hua Luo said: “Look how well Qiuqiu is developing. Do you want to come back and do voice acting again?”
“No.” Xiao Yu refused tactfully without hesitation: “I’m more adapted to my current circle.”
Everyone has their own aspirations, so Hua Luo didn’t say any more. The few of them sat at the table chatting idly, pulling this and that into the conversation. Xiao Yu mentioned the matter of Yu Wen’s new book from a while ago, still a little angry: “Her methods are really dirty.”
“She never achieved her success through upright means in the first place.” It was very rare for Bai Mao to say such a thing. In everyone’s minds, she had always been a person of few words who didn’t really comment on her peers. This was the first time she had spoken about Yu Wen in front of everyone.
Hua Luo said: “Anyway, I’ve heard some news that also says she’s not a good person.”
“What news?” Xiao Yu was curious: “Tell us.”
Hua Luo glanced at the others, then said: “It’s just that when she first started writing, wasn’t she a newcomer? She didn’t understand anything, didn’t even know the website’s rules. Later, she got to know an author who was more famous than her, and she had that author recommend her books every day—on her Moments3, in reader groups, on Weibo. As long as there was an opportunity for exposure, that author would help recommend her, and even helped write fanfiction4 for her. Both openly and secretly, she implied that they had that kind of relationship. And then, guess what happened?”
Lu Zhenqiu looked over. Hua Luo said: “Later, someone privately messaged Yu Wen and asked if they were a couple. Yu Wen said they were just friends. Not only that, when one of her books became a hit, she immediately kicked that author to the curb and latched onto Tang Yingxia.”
What a familiar routine.
Lu Zhenqiu recalled that for a while, Tang Yingxia was also recommending Yu Wen’s works everywhere. However, Tang Yingxia’s outcome was obviously much better than that other author’s; she sold the rights to several works. As for now——she was no longer paying attention.
“So, ah.” Hua Luo said: “So between these two, it’s hard to say who will get the short end of the stick in the end.”
Lu Zhenqiu lowered her head. Xiao Yu tugged on Hua Luo’s clothes, signaling her to stop talking. It was fine to curse out Yu Wen, but why drag Tang Yingxia into it? It really ruined a perfectly good mood.
Hua Luo looked at Lu Zhenqiu and said in a low voice: “Qiuqiu, are you okay?”
“Me?” Lu Zhenqiu raised her eyes and said: “I’m fine.”
She now heard news about Tang Yingxia as if hearing about a stranger. The pain and suffering from right after the breakup had all been worn away by Tang Yingxia’s pestering. The little bit of beauty from their time together had also been torn apart by Tang Yingxia’s desperate clinging. She couldn’t even connect the Tang Yingxia from the past with the her of today.
The current Tang Yingxia, to her, was truly just a stranger.
Hua Luo only breathed a sigh of relief when she saw she was fine. Jin Shuilan got up to refill their water. The food arrived just in time. In the cold winter, eating something hot instantly warmed everyone up. Xiao Yu had already changed the subject, picking one of Hua Luo’s embarrassing stories to tell: “One time, she and I went to a public bath, and we ran into someone she had a crush on in school. She slipped away faster than a rabbit. It took me half an hour to find her.”
Hua Luo blushed from her words: “Well, if you ran into someone you used to like, would you go say hi? Besides, I even confessed to him, ai!”
“So what if you confessed!” Xiao Yu said: “Who hasn’t confessed to someone before!”
“You’re just bragging!” Hua Luo said with a grin: “I wonder who it was that confessed to a colleague, didn’t get a reply, and immediately resigned and ran away the next day.”
Xiao Yu gave a cold laugh: “If I didn’t leave, should I have waited for the embarrassment? It’s only human nature5 to retreat after a failed confession!”
The two of them started exposing each other’s old wounds without even drinking.
Upon hearing this sentence, Lu Zhenqiu subconsciously glanced at Jin Shuilan. Jin Shuilan had her head turned, watching Xiao Yu and Hua Luo bicker. Her side profile was calm, her gaze indifferent. The edge of her glasses reflected a cold glint from the light. She occasionally lowered her head to sip some warm water and continued to eat.
Lu Zhenqiu suddenly thought about her moving.
Is it because she’s afraid of embarrassment, so she retreated?
Lu Zhenqiu tightened her grip on her cup. She finished the water in her cup and was just about to reach for the teapot when she saw a hand extend over. Jin Shuilan picked up the teapot and poured her a cup. Lu Zhenqiu looked at her and said in a low voice: “Thank you, Teacher Jin.”
Jin Shuilan’s tone was indifferent: “It’s nothing.”
Xiao Yu and Hua Luo had finished arguing. The two of them fought to pay the bill, but in the end, it was Bai Mao who paid. The group came out of the hotel cheerfully. Xiao Yu said: “I have to go back. I have a livestream tonight.”
“What about Qiuqiu?”
Lu Zhenqiu glanced at the time: “I should probably be heading back too.”
Hua Luo nodded: “Then let’s disperse on the spot.”
Lu Zhenqiu waved to them, then looked at Jin Shuilan and said: “Teacher Jin, Maomao…”
Maomao was still in her car. Jin Shuilan carried her bag and followed her back to the car. Lu Zhenqiu intended to lead Maomao out of the car, but Jin Shuilan said: “Let me drive you back.”
Lu Zhenqiu said: “It’s okay, I’ll take a taxi.”
“It’s hard to get a taxi with a dog.” Jin Shuilan said: “Get in the car.”
Maomao had already very consciously started rubbing against Jin Shuilan. Lu Zhenqiu had no choice but to sit in the car. Along the way, she thought of several questions, but they reached her lips only to be swallowed back down. The two were silent. When they arrived downstairs at her residential complex, Lu Zhenqiu led Maomao out of the car. She said: “Thank you, Teacher Jin.”
Jin Shuilan: “Go on in.”
Lu Zhenqiu nodded. She led Maomao and walked inside. She had just taken two steps when someone behind her called out: “Qiuqiu.”
She turned her head and saw Jin Shuilan get out of the car. She walked in front of Lu Zhenqiu, undid the scarf from her own neck, and carefully wrapped it around Lu Zhenqiu. Warmth, and the fragrance that belonged to Jin Shuilan, assailed her, seeping in through every pore6. Lu Zhenqiu raised her eyes, her hand grabbing the edge of the scarf, and called out: “Teacher Jin.”
“I did not retreat.” Jin Shuilan’s gaze was tranquil. She looked at Lu Zhenqiu and said: “Qiuqiu, moving doesn’t mean I’m retreating. I just wanted to give you some space to think. Liking you and pursuing you is my business; accepting or rejecting is your right. But I don’t want you to feel uncomfortable because of me, or for it to affect your judgment.”
Her gaze was clear and scorching, like a light, attracting Lu Zhenqiu.
Jin Shuilan continued: “So you can rest assured and boldly do what you want to do, and make a decision you feel you won’t regret. It’s still that same sentence.”
Lu Zhenqiu asked: “What sentence?”
Jin Shuilan gave a gentle smile: “When you want to be in a relationship, please consider me first.”
Lu Zhenqiu bit her lip. Jin Shuilan adjusted the scarf for her and said: “It’s cold, go on up.”
Maomao whimpered twice, probably cold from the wind, and wanted to go into the lobby. Lu Zhenqiu thought for two seconds, nodded, glanced at Jin Shuilan, and walked toward the lobby. The lobby door was made of glass, clearly reflecting the figures of the two of them. Lu Zhenqiu stood at the main entrance, looking at the reflection in the glass, and her gaze fixed.
Jin Shuilan was standing behind her the whole time.
As long as she turned her head, she would be able to see her.
For a moment, she wanted to turn back.
The author has something to say:
Thirty red envelopes, memeda.
I probably won’t be taking a break this weekend. From now on, I’ll resume daily updates.
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