Senior Sister Chapter 10
I want to kiss you right now (confession)
“This…”
Looking at the black robe tightly gripped by herself under the blanket, Zi Yan suddenly felt flustered as if caught doing something wrong.
“I was thinking it’s been lost for half a year, definitely impossible to find.” Despite Song Shuqing’s sincere tone, there was a hint of sarcasm in her eyes. “So it’s been with you all this time…”
The woman with her head bowed did not notice the subtle smile on the shadow guard’s face. She just bit her lip, unsure of how to explain why she had not returned Song Shuqing’s lost item to its rightful owner. Yet, she also could not bring herself to decisively return the robe that had already absorbed the scents of both of them and had accompanied her through countless late nights.
“However, it’s been lost for so long already, I’ve already gotten a new one. If you like it so much, keeping it for you wouldn’t be impossible.”
Concealing a mischievous smile with all her might, Song Shuqing looked at the woman on the bed who had surprised raised her head, pretending to ponder, “…If Zi Yan could play the latest melody for me to hear, then she can keep the robe.”
“No, that’s not possible.” She shook her head abruptly, her face involuntarily flushing, “That piece of music, only that one is not possible.”
“Oh? Why is that?” Cocking her head in feigned confusion, Song Shuqing leaned closer to the edge of the bed, staring straight at Zi Yan, “Why is it only that piece of music that is not allowed? Clearly, the other guqin pieces are acceptable, why is it specifically that one that is not allowed, does it hold some special significance?”
Leaning forward, their faces were only inches apart, Song Shuqing even caught a whiff of the herbal concoction the woman had just ingested. In a hoarse voice, she slowly spoke, “Or, is it because the person listening is me, that’s why it can’t be played?”
“I, I’m not, not because of you…” Watching her beloved so close before her, Zi Yan felt another surge of warmth and confusion.
“Your pulse is racing.” Three fingers had quietly found their way to Zi Yan’s wrist at some unknown point, Song Shuqing’s low voice inexplicably stirring the heart, “And your pupils have dilated, even though the room is quite bright.”
Unable to contain a light chuckle, she turned her head towards the window.
(Originally translated on littlepandatranslations.com, let's go!)
One night had passed, the morning sun was rising, casting a few beams of golden light into the room.
“I… I… I don’t know why this is happening.” Feeling the secret she had desperately tried to conceal being discovered, Zi Yan’s breath quickened, attempting a final disguise as her clenched jaw trembled slightly.
Blinking, Song Shuqing turned back to look at the woman before her, who was now visibly flustered. Softening her heart, she no longer wanted to tease her but spoke straightforwardly, “Zi Yan, what I want to say is, I have some feelings for you.”
“If I were to put it in terms that you can easily understand, I am deeply in love with you.”
“It doesn’t matter where you came from, your past, or your occupation. I am now moved by you.”
Placing Zi Yan’s hand on her chest, Song Shuqing tilted her head towards the stunned woman with a smile that was not quite a smile, “Can you feel it?”
“My heart is also beating faster.”
“Because of you.”
Unable to believe the words she heard in her ears, unable to believe that the person she yearned for was right in front of her, Zi Yan, who had always kept herself low to the ground, couldn’t believe everything she was experiencing.
Yet, as she stared blankly at their intertwined fingers, feeling the regular, soft beats beneath her palm.
Each beat felt so real, and the eyes gazing back at her so resolute.
Zi Yan, who typically had a calm demeanor, rare showed a blank expression, with only her ears turning red, revealing the surge of emotions brewing within her.
“How… how can I…” Unable to piece together complete sentences, her mind overwhelmed with information, causing her whole body to tremble slightly, “How can I be worthy…”
“Oh my, how can I help you get rid of your bad habit of belittling yourself?”
Affectionately kissing Zi Yan’s fingertips, calloused from playing the guqin, Song Shuqing looked at the person before her, who was filled with shock, and sighed silently. Then, with a mischievous twinkle in her eye, she said, “Zi Yan, I have something very important to tell you.”
Seeing the serious and solemn expression on the shadow guard’s face, Zi Yan’s scattered gaze refocused, tilting her head slightly as she listened attentively to the person in front of her.
“I want to kiss you right now.”
Song Shuqing blinked, emphasizing loudly, “Of course, if you don’t like it, you can push me away, and you can refuse at any time.” Suddenly remembering something, she added, “Oh… but don’t slap me, after all, I rely on my face for a living.”
She pushed back Zi Yan’s hair and then gently pressed her warm palm against the woman’s cheek, tilting her head slightly and slowly leaning forward.
It seemed as if she wanted to give the person in front of her enough time to change their mind.
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Fortunately, even when their faces were just inches apart, Song Shuqing did not feel any resistance, and of course, there was no sharp pain of being slapped on the cheek.
Zi Yan simply leaned her head back, compliantly and tenderly.
The woman’s lips were very soft, carrying a hint of bitterness from the medicine she had just ingested, and Song Shuqing licked them with even more gentleness than ever, as if wanting to share her burden.
Even when she tasted a hint of saltiness midway, she only held the woman’s waist with her free hand, lightly patting it, as if soothing someone she cared for and cherished deeply.
As their lips parted, although Song Shuqing looked at the person with reddened eyes lovingly, tenderly wiping away the tears hanging on the woman’s chin, she couldn’t help but playfully say, “It looks like I need to buy more handkerchiefs after all.”
“After all, the wife I found for myself seems to be a bit of a crybaby.”
Superficially, the interaction between the two did not seem to change with the new relationship.
In the teahouse, Song Shuqing still absentmindedly arranged the tea cabinet. Whenever Zi Yan passed by, she would affectionately ask in a pitiful tone what they should have for dinner, and then push her luck by adding a few more dishes.
Zi Yan’s expression remained calm, ignoring the pitiful look on Song Shuqing’s face, silently pushing away the person who clung to her like a plaster. She calmly brushed off her impossible requests.
However, upon closer observation, one could notice that Song Shuqing rarely let her own figure leave Zi Yan’s line of sight. The narrowed and teasing smile on her face concealed indulgence, and every gesture exuded an unconscious tenderness.
Zi Yan’s gaze also secretly followed the shadow guard’s figure, her cheeks blushing slightly after each whispered word from Song Shuqing. Occasionally, she couldn’t help but hook her pinky finger around the hand of her beloved under the wide sleeves, despite her cold expression.
Despite their mutual feelings, unexpectedly, the progress between the two did not skyrocket like catching fire, but was only limited to light, fleeting kisses before bedtime.
“Goodnight, Zi Yan.”
Affectionately patting the slightly damp tips of Zi Yan’s hair after her bath, Song Shuqing from the third floor, where she had retreated from her frivolous behavior in front of others during the day, tucked the blankets tightly around Zi Yan, straightening up from leaning over her and saying, “Wish you sweet dreams.”
Seeing Zi Yan’s reluctant expression, she simply smiled reassuringly and blew out the oil lamp before leaving.
Letting out a sigh at the doorway, Song Shuqing turned her neck and made two 『kaka』 sounds.
I am no saint or gentleman without desires, nor am I a clueless fool like Qinqin, who can’t understand hints and acts like a child or a stupid donkey. So, keeping calm and composed is impossible, especially when Zi Yan appears so simple yet charming in my eyes…
Whenever I am alone with Zi Yan, my longing and desires for my lover always shout loudly in my ears like little demons.
『Touch her! Touch her!』
『Kiss deeper, she won’t refuse.』
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“Nonsense, of course, I know Zi Yan won’t refuse me.” Irritatedly waving her hand in the air to dispel the little demon that resembles herself, Song Shuqing rolled her eyes. “I just don’t want to do this…”
Understood the unwilling to tolerate even the slightest possibility of harming Zi Yan.
Understood her compliance.
Understood all that she has been through.
Understood that the intimacy of skin only brings Zi Yan memories of despair.
Therefore, Song Shuqing is unwilling.
At least until Zi Yan makes a decision on her own, she is unwilling.
“…Take it slow, there’s no need to rush into these things.” Slowly descending the stairs, Song Shuqing loosened her collar with her fingers. “Just let things happen naturally.”
After all, time is the best remedy for everything.
“Well… even if Zi Yan never manages to make a choice in this lifetime, it doesn’t matter.” Absentmindedly flicking the windchime hanging on the door frame, Song Shuqing thought to herself.
After all, I am a mature adult.
It’s long past the stage of hormones clouding the brain, the phase of intense desire in youth…
Physical intercourse is simply irrelevant!
Hmm… probably.
LP: Re-translated on May 07, 2024