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Jealousy is such a pathological state

Ming Qin lay on the wooden bed in a single garment, feeling the breath of Murong Yan on her collarbone.

She closed her eyes, letting the woman beside her hold her hand, writing on her palm stroke by stroke.

“Yanyan wants to know what happened after we separated in the woods?” Ming Qin opened her eyes. Although her gaze remained empty, she could still accurately look at the person in front of her.

Feeling Murong Yan’s affirming grip on her hand, Ming Qin shook her head, recalling, “Hmm… after I dismounted, I saw pursuers behind me, so I gave them a beating.” She said bluntly, “That Xiao He was there too, but he was just too annoying. I was so angry that I ended up having a fight with him.”

Despite being in conflicts that teetered between life and death, her tone was nonchalant.

“Is Ah Qin angry? What did Xiao He say to Ah Qin at that time?” Thinking about the testimony given by the three individuals in the tent that day, Murong Yan once again wrote on Ming Qin’s hand, curiously inquiring.

“Yanyan wants to know what Xiao He said?”

Ming Qin hesitated, forcing a smile, “Well… he didn’t say anything to me. It was just that his face looked really ugly, and the more I looked at it, the angrier I got.”

“Yes! He’s really so ugly.”

As if knowing how clumsy her lie was, she tried to add desperately, “You see, after facing the most beautiful person in the world for two consecutive months, my eyes have become picky. When I saw Xiao He’s face, I just got so mad and ended up having a fight with him.”

With such a convincing tone, Ming Qin felt like she was starting to believe her own words.

Seeing that the person in front of her was unwilling to speak further, Murong Yan also chose not to press for more details, silently making a mental note to continue listening to Ming Qin’s story.

“Later, I accidentally fell into the lake… Do you still remember that hunter couple? They saved me, and their family had an additional baby girl.” Recalling the stone house where she spent half a spring and the warm-hearted people she once encountered, Ming Qin smiled.

“Then, my senior sister came to pick me up!”

“We opened a teahouse in Shu, but my senior sister and senior brother didn’t understand tea leaves, so we kept losing money.” Ming Qin’s expression was lively, showing a hint of worry as she slightly furrowed her brows. “Since the teahouse had no customers, my senior sister and I often went to a brothel for fun.”

Ming Qin, who couldn’t see, revealed a pure smile, completely unaware of the astonishment on Murong Yan’s face.

The air around them instantly chilled, but Ming Qin continued speaking without any awareness, “We met a courtesan named Zi Yan, she was very beautiful and played the quqin so beautifully, always reminding me of you.”

“She smelled the balm you gave me, and then she… ugh.”

Feeling a strong push from the woman and then her shoulder being unexpectedly pressed down in the darkness, Ming Qin was taken aback, but she did not resist, softly asking, “Yanyan, what’s wrong?”

“Did Ah Qin go to a brothel?”

Blinded by the emotion called jealousy, Murong Yan straddled Ming Qin, looking down at her with a trembling voice.

“You even gave my balm to a courtesan?” The usually composed woman felt in turmoil, causing even the strokes in Ming Qin’s palm to be devoid of coherence.

“Yanyan, what’s wrong?”

Unable to hear Murong Yan’s voice and unable to discern what was written on her hand, Ming Qin felt a mix of worry and urgency. She tried to reassure softly, “I don’t know what Yanyan wants to express. Can we take it slow?”

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Seeing the person beneath her looking so helpless and allowing herself to manipulate the situation, a sudden inexplicable impulse surged within Murong Yan. She took Ming Qin’s fingers to her lips and deeply sucked them.

Murong Yan tightly grasped Ming Qin’s wrist, controlling her tongue to move lightly or heavily between her fingers.

Her molars slowly ground against the rough knuckles, the tumultuous jealousy within her making her want to just bite down, yet the tender emotions of pain were equally vivid.

Ming Qin’s fingers were long, with her middle finger pressing against the woman’s throat deeply, evoking a desire in Murong Yan that felt almost uncontrollable, like a urge to gag, yet she persisted, swallowing, savoring every inch meticulously.

In the darkness, Ming Qin felt the warmth from the index and middle fingers, involuntarily moving her hand and touching the woman’s molars and the base of her tongue.

The naive shadow guard thought Murong Yan’s actions were to help her understand her lip movements and words, so Ming Qin obediently relaxed her wrist, allowing the person beside her to softly and warmly lap her tongue from shallow to deep.

No matter how hard she tried to feel, Ming Qin still couldn’t make sense of anything.

“Yanyan.”

The little shadow guard was frustrated, looking dejectedly downwards, “I still don’t understand what you’re trying to say?”

It was as if she saw a pair of drooping little dog ears, the shadow guard’s dispirited appearance made Murong Yan feel somewhat unbearable, the jealousy and unrest churning in her chest slightly subsided.

She released her finger from her mouth, saliva drawing a line in the air, wetting Ming Qin’s robe.

Just as Murong Yan was about to lean down, she heard through the door a maid timidly knocking and speaking, “…Princess, General Changsheng has come to visit and has been led to the study to wait.”

Murong Yan felt somewhat irritated as the intimate moment with Ming Qin was abruptly interrupted by her brother’s unexpected visit.

Slowly sliding from under the bed board, this time she wrote a big “wait” on Ming Qin’s palm very clearly, then she put on her shoes and socks, draped a robe over herself, and followed the maid out of the room.

Unable to sit still, Murong Chan paced back and forth in the side hall with his hands behind his back, while Hu’er, lying beside, swayed his large head left and right following the man’s steps.

When Murong Yan entered the study leisurely, Murong Chan showed a broad smile and helped her to a soft chair nearby.

“Brother, do you have something to discuss today?” The woman asked indifferently, not reaching for the teapot to boil water, but instead pushed a plate of snacks toward the man.

“Yue’er, father will return to the northern territory next month.” Murong Chan grabbed a mung bean cake and stuffed it into his mouth, reporting, “But I will stay in the capital as the overseer of the troops and horses.”

“That suits you.” Watching her brother, Murong Yan nodded calmly.

“Then… Murong Wen has been expelled from the family records, an event that happened yesterday afternoon. It was decreed by His Majesty himself, with the historians all listening in.” Scratching the back of his ear, the man added somewhat regretfully, “However, despite this, he will still return to the northern palace as a commoner with father.”

“But don’t worry!” Seemingly concerned about his sister feeling downhearted, Murong Chan gestured, “He has already been beaten up, and it would take him at least ten days to half a month to recover.”

Lifting his eyes, Murong Yan said, “Brother, acting like this will lead to gossip.”

Compared to letting people wag their tongues, Murong Chan was even more reluctant to let his sister think he was a violent and reckless person. Stubbornly, he shook his head, “No, no, no… It wasn’t me! He just got into a fight on the road, and then someone beat him up. It really wasn’t me.”

“Maybe it’s because he’s so ugly that he got beaten up.” He stubbornly made excuses.

Hearing this, Murong Yan suddenly thought of something, and the corners of her mouth lifted. She pursed her lips and whispered in agreement, “…Maybe that’s really it. He’s just too ugly.” A smile appeared in her eyes.

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Not understanding why his sister suddenly became happy, Murong Chan simply joined in the laughter.

“Brother, since you are staying in the capital to handle affairs this time, you must be cautious and careful.”

Murong Yan started to admonish, “Although His Majesty the Emperor trusts you, the twists and turns of the officialdom are extremely complicated, and sinister people are even harder to defend against than hidden arrows. Brother, you must be wary of everyone, regardless of their words, deeds, or even the fair ladies they favor. If someone were to send you a woman of unclear background…”

“Yue, Yue, Yue… Yue’er! What are you talking about?”

Apparently, Murong Chan did not expect his sister to discuss such an embarrassing matter with him, blushing, “I, I, I, I would certainly not casually share a bed with other women!”

“Oh?”

The man’s words led Murong Yan to discern another layer of meaning, she raised an eyebrow, “Is brother implying… that there is already someone in his heart?”

Suddenly standing up, with his face red as a crab, Murong Chan was obviously unprepared to discuss this topic with his own sister. He thought about the lady he had inadvertently stumbled upon in the palace these past few months, who had haunted his dreams, nervously fidgeting with his fingers.

“Yue’er, it’s getting late.” He was flustered, his tone halting, “I should leave now, you rest well.”

Watching her brother lower his head and flee in a panic, nearly hitting the doorpost on his way out, Murong Yan couldn’t help but find it amusing.

Well, it’s not her place to worry about her brother’s affairs.

The woman stood up and caressed the head of her pet tiger, walking out of the corrider with grace. Yet, her composure shattered the moment she stepped through the door.

Inside the room, where steam suffused the air and a bathing tub filled with water stood by the screen, two maids were helping Ming Qin remove her clothing.

And the young shadow guard simply stood obediently, letting unfamiliar hands touch her skin.

Murong Yan’s face darkened, and she raised her hand to flick her sleeve, sweeping a vase filled with flowers off the table with a “swish”. The vase, worth a thousand taels of silver, crashed to the ground.

“Princess!”

“Chongwen Princess!”

Upon hearing the loud crash, the two maids hurriedly came out from behind the screen, only to find Murong Yan with a frosty expression and shattered pieces all over the floor. They stood nervously before her, heads bowed.

“Who allowed you in?”

Struggling to suppress her fury, the woman gritted her teeth and asked, “Have I not made myself clear? No one is allowed to enter my room, understood?”

“Princess…” The two young girls, faces pale and trembling, replied, “It was… it was the shadow guard. She… she called out for someone, saying she wanted to bathe, so…”

Watching the hands of the two girls tightly clutching their sleeves brought visuals of their fingers brushing Ming Qin’s skin into Murong Yan’s mind.

Extreme possessiveness tormented her, the surge of acidity and jealousy in her chest made her involuntarily think of punishing the two in front of her unreasonably.

Knowing it was wrong, understanding it shouldn’t be done, yet the twisted jealousy was so pathological, making it hard for her to restrain herself.

“…You two?”

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“Are you still there?”

“Is there… anyone else?”

Ming Qin’s somewhat hesitant call from behind the screen interrupted Murong Yan’s dark thoughts, making her forget everything else but the desire to return quickly to the side of the one she loves.

“If you want to remain unharmed, choose whether to be transferred to another palace or to the outer courtyard. Just don’t let me see you again,” the woman maintained the little reason she had left as she whispered an order to the two maids in front of her.

“Anyway, leave this place.”

Before she could succumb to her rising jealousy.


The author has something to say:

Hmm… Mad yet self-aware.

The next chapter will require a bit of imagination.


LP: Re-translated on April 07, 2024



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