Don’t Debase Yourself Like This
In just a few short hours1, Qu Sheng’s eyes had returned to their original state.
To her, the night was no different from the day.
At this moment, Lin Xizhao hadn’t yet realized that Qu Sheng’s vision had been restored; she was merely contemplating whether she should satisfy her.
Liu Wuxiang had calculated that Qu Sheng would regain her sight today, yet she still appeared unable to see. Earlier, she had seen Qu Sheng frequently rubbing her forehead. Although her emotions seemed stable on the surface, Lin Xizhao worried about whether Qu Sheng’s heart was truly as calm as she appeared.
Lin Xizhao’s hands were pinned above her head by Qu Sheng. In the dim light, she opened her eyes and could only see Qu Sheng’s moving face and feel the scorching temperature of her breath.
Lin Xizhao didn’t know what had come over her these past few days. She constantly felt an urge to hold Qu Sheng in her arms. While she had felt this way before, recently—especially since sleeping in this bed—she found herself excessively fantasizing about contact with Qu Sheng. And it wasn’t just a simple desire to touch her.
Qu Sheng’s lips and tongue were still devouring her remaining reason. Above her head, Qu Sheng released her grip on Lin Xizhao’s arms, her hands seeking out the softness she had pressed earlier.
All the air in Lin Xizhao’s mouth was plundered by Qu Sheng, to the point where the breathing from her nose became rapid and heavy.
Between kisses, Qu Sheng looked up at Lin Xizhao’s slightly unfocused gaze, and the restlessness in her heart grew even more intense. When she had no vision, only her ears could enjoy the charming atmosphere of the feast. But now, the beautiful scenery captured by her gaze acted as a fuse, driving the fire in her heart to a fanatical heat.
Qu Sheng entangled Lin Xizhao’s tongue, then slowly withdrew, tracing a path to behind her ear, causing Lin Xizhao to let out a whimper that sounded like she wanted to flee.
Qu Sheng raised a hand to cradle the head that was trying to hide. The wet, grinding sounds were magnified several times in Lin Xizhao’s ears, tickling the tip of her heart until she couldn’t help but let out a soft moan.
“Sheng’er…” Lin Xizhao couldn’t help but call the name of the person creating this emptiness inside her, seemingly begging her to let go, or perhaps asking for more.
Qu Sheng automatically interpreted it as wanting more. Half of the undergarment2, which had retreated during Qu Sheng’s movements, was nudged aside by an elbow against the quilt, exposing skin to the air.
Lin Xizhao had just felt the slight chill on her chest when that fiery, soft pair of lips brought her warmth again, the temperature rising slowly until it was scorching.
Qu Sheng’s kisses became increasingly fervent, until her entire body disappeared beneath the quilt.
Just as Lin Xizhao arched her slender body, Qu Sheng crawled back out, looking thoroughly satisfied.
Qu Sheng hooked the corner of her lips. A remnant of glistening moisture at the edge of her mouth caused Lin Xizhao’s dazed eyes to snap back to reality for a second, followed immediately by a sudden flush that made her feel as if her face were burning.
When Lin Xizhao turned her face to the side to hide, Qu Sheng leaned over again. Using the lips and tongue that had just stirred such passion, she entangled her once more, preparing for the next round of a feast that was said to make people lose themselves completely.
The morning light began to rise, warm halos climbing up the windowsill. After experiencing intimacy for the first time and being demanded of repeatedly, Lin Xizhao had fallen into a deep sleep.
Qu Sheng looked at Lin Xizhao’s closed eyes. Her charming face was filled with fatigue and satisfaction. Qu Sheng felt as if honey had been poured into her heart; an unspeakable joy was fully displayed in the gaze she locked onto Lin Xizhao.
Qu Sheng sought out those soft lips, which were still slightly red and swollen from her kisses. She probed with the tip of her tongue for a moment, and after Lin Xizhao groaned softly and pushed her away unconsciously, Qu Sheng didn’t get angry. Instead, her lips quirked upward.
She would never let Lin Xizhao leave her again.
Lin Xizhao didn’t wake from her dreams until noon. The moment she moved, she felt a tearing sensation and a wave of exhaustion that made her lie back down in frustration, not wanting to move a muscle.
“Awake?” Qu Sheng asked softly in Lin Xizhao’s ear, the corners of her mouth hooked in a smile, her eyes full of spoiling affection.
Lin Xizhao instantly gathered her memories from her broken thoughts. Her eyes widened slightly, holding a trace of panic, and she immediately looked sideways at Qu Sheng beside her.
Qu Sheng’s brows still held an aggressive smile. Watching Lin Xizhao look over, amidst that momentarily shattered expression, she reminisced about the romantic scenery of the previous night.
Lin Xizhao’s soft moans, as well as her intermittent pleas for her to stop, filled her ears once again. It stirred a fire in Qu Sheng’s heart, and she tightened the arm wrapped around Lin Xizhao’s slender waist, feeling the softness of that slightly cool body.
Lin Xizhao’s body was forced close to Qu Sheng. Aside from feeling the fiery heat radiating from her, she also discovered that Qu Sheng’s open eyes were constantly searching her face.
Lin Xizhao moved her arm from under the quilt and raised a finger to stroke Qu Sheng’s cheek. As she approached, she clearly saw Qu Sheng’s gaze moving along with her fingertip.
Lin Xizhao used her thumb to rub Qu Sheng’s fair, smooth cheek. Her stunned eyes trembled, rippling like shimmering water, and she asked in disbelief, “Your eyes?”
Qu Sheng nuzzled against Lin Xizhao’s finger, raised her hand to cover it, and turned her face slightly to kiss Lin Xizhao’s palm. She spoke solemnly: “I can see Jiejie now.”
Lin Xizhao had completely forgotten her shyness. She looked into Qu Sheng’s eyes, her fingers trembling as she slowly reached out. Qu Sheng cooperated by blinking softly. Once Lin Xizhao confirmed that Qu Sheng could truly see, the tears she had been suppressing could no longer be held back; they surged out like a broken dam.
“Sheng’er.” The heavy boulder suspended in Lin Xizhao’s heart finally fell. During these days, her internal suffering had been several times more agonizing than that of the blind Qu Sheng.
Qu Sheng watched the tears falling from the corners of Lin Xizhao’s eyes, and her heart ached terribly. She pulled Lin Xizhao into her embrace, holding her, stroking her back, and comforting her. Yet, she couldn’t stop Lin Xizhao’s tears from sliding onto her neck, each drop scalding her skin until it hurt.
Although she had restrained herself these past days, there was still an element of madness in her. She knew she had hurt Lin Xizhao’s heart many times. She had felt guilty, but she had never regretted it.
Whether choosing to give up or to claim Lin Xizhao for herself—these were the things that had tortured her every single moment of this period.
She wasn’t a fickle person, but faced with Lin Xizhao, her internal compass went into chaos.
Qu Sheng just held Lin Xizhao, who was either weeping tears of joy or venting her grievances, waiting for her to cry until she was tired, until she had cried enough.
Lin Xizhao lay on Qu Sheng’s neck. When the tears finally stopped, her physical awareness suddenly returned. She remembered what happened last night—every little detail, every action Qu Sheng had inflicted upon her, she remembered clearly.
“Sheng’er…” A layer of crimson began to slowly fill Lin Xizhao’s delicate cheeks, as pleasing to the eye as the evening clouds.
Lin Xizhao gently pushed Qu Sheng away, lowering her eyes and biting her red lip. While admiring the view, Qu Sheng followed her heart and sought out Lin Xizhao’s tempting lips again, kissing them.
Two unclothed bodies entangled once more. Lin Xizhao’s smooth, slender arms crossed and rested on Qu Sheng’s neck, inheriting the desire Qu Sheng had suppressed for two hours while watching her sleep that morning.
“Sheng’er…” As Qu Sheng’s lips and tongue gradually moved downward, bodily memory forced Lin Xizhao to raise her hands and hoop Qu Sheng’s small head.
She looked at the passion filling Qu Sheng’s eyes, but due to her own shyness, she had to refuse.
Lin Xizhao’s pitiful, pleading expression, along with her soft voice tinged with exhaustion, made Qu Sheng desperate. But in the end, she considered Lin Xizhao’s body. The three rounds of pleasure last night had left her body unable to bear any more burden.
Qu Sheng let her go.
Lin Xizhao put on the dress that Qu Sheng had completely stripped off her. Facing Qu Sheng’s burning, hot gaze, her face flushed red again.
Lin Xizhao got out of bed. Before she could put on her outer robe3, Qu Sheng followed her down. Seeing Qu Sheng standing half-naked in front of her made Lin Xizhao panic even more, and she subconsciously turned her face away.
Qu Sheng hooked her lips, picked up the inner robe4 she had voluntarily taken off, and put it on. She stood beside Lin Xizhao, her eyes filled with light and brimming with confidence.
Lin Xizhao gazed at her in a trance for a moment. After meeting her eyes, she went to the side to get Qu Sheng’s outer robe to dress her, though her gaze couldn’t help but steal glances at Qu Sheng’s eyes.
Lin Xizhao helped Qu Sheng fasten the sash5 at her waist. Just as she was about to turn around to get her own dress, Qu Sheng gently pulled her into her arms. Without giving her any time to react, she found those soft lips and kissed them.
It was already very late, and Qu Sheng needed to go to Liu Wuxiang for a checkup regarding her restored sight, so she only kissed her briefly before letting go.
During breakfast, Lin Xizhao subconsciously reached for Qu Sheng’s bowl and chopsticks. But when she saw Qu Sheng staring straight at her, she froze for a moment and slowly retracted her hand.
“I forgot Sheng’er’s eyes can see now.”
Lin Xizhao was happy about Qu Sheng’s recovery, but as the initial excitement passed, a conflicted sense of emptiness welled up in her heart.
“Sheng’er still wants Jiejie to feed her.” Qu Sheng could see, but in the eyes of outsiders, she was still a girl with intellectual problems.
Lin Xizhao was confused for a moment. Looking at the slight upward curve of Qu Sheng’s lips, she suddenly remembered the matter of Qu Sheng acting foolish in public.
Lin Xizhao smiled faintly, reached out to take Qu Sheng’s bowl and chopsticks, and began feeding her again. Qu Sheng took a bite, then watched Lin Xizhao take a bite. The scene she had imagined during the days she couldn’t see was finally presented before her eyes, exactly as she had pictured it.
After breakfast, when Qu Ting and the others learned that Qu Sheng’s vision was restored, they all came to visit. After a simple diagnosis, Xiao Bingying confirmed she could truly see and was as happy as Lin Xizhao. However, when she looked at Chengxi, she noticed that Chengxi kept her head lowered.
In the afternoon, Qu Sheng and the others went to Liu Wuxiang’s place. Liu Wuxiang examined Qu Sheng’s eyes and, while taking her pulse, discovered that the restlessness in her body had alleviated significantly.
He cast a strange look at Qu Sheng, then looked at Lin Xizhao. Seeing Liu Wuxiang staring at her, Lin Xizhao asked, “Are there still problems with Sheng’er’s eyes?”
Liu Wuxiang shook his head. Looking at the trace of fatigue in the depths of Lin Xizhao’s eyes, he asked, “You two…”
Liu Wuxiang didn’t finish the question, but listening from the side, Xiao Bingying realized the issue. When she took Qu Sheng’s pulse this morning, the restless energy from last night had largely vanished. Although she was suspicious, she hadn’t asked too many questions. Now, seeing Liu Wuxiang question Lin Xizhao, she roughly guessed what had happened between them.
Liu Wuxiang’s medicine—the potency that caused Qu Sheng to become restless—was the key to restoring her sight.
Now that Qu Sheng’s vision was restored, whether she had it or not didn’t matter much.
Liu Wuxiang had originally intended to prescribe some medicine to flush out the drug’s potency after Qu Sheng recovered, but it seemed unnecessary now.
Liu Wuxiang withdrew his hand, a smile appearing on his face. “The eyes are fine, but it’s still better to have moderation.”
Qu Sheng’s restlessness had disappeared too quickly; if it hadn’t been multiple times, it wouldn’t have achieved such an effect.
Everyone was genuinely happy to hear Qu Sheng’s eyes were fine, but Liu Wuxiang’s latter comment left them somewhat puzzled.
Qu Ting and the others were confused, but after hearing it, Lin Xizhao slowly lowered her head.
The group returned to the inn6, while Qu Ting stayed behind with Liu Wuxiang, offering him a high consultation fee. Looking at the tray of gold, Liu Wuxiang said, “I don’t want money. I only want you to do what you promised.”
Hearing this, Qu Ting smiled warmly. “Doctor Liu worries too much; this gold is just a token of appreciation. Regarding the promised matter, we have already started working on it today. However, I must clarify one thing in advance: we are only responsible for rescuing the person. As for where to place him after the rescue, that is beyond our capability.”
“Rest assured. Just get the person out. Don’t worry about the rest.”
Seeing that Liu Wuxiang showed no concern, Qu Ting lowered his eyes in thought for a few moments before saying, “The person will be delivered here in five days. At that time, we will leave the border and return to Tiansheng. Even if you die here, I will not intervene in the remaining matters.”
Hearing Qu Ting’s words, Liu Wuxiang’s brows furrowed slightly. “Just don’t lead the pursuers here.”
Qu Ting smiled. “Our Qu family never drags our feet or leaves loose ends. Doctor Liu can rest easy on that.”
Qu Ting finished speaking and pushed himself up from the grand chair. He cupped his hands in farewell and left.
Upon returning to the inn, Qu Ting instructed everyone that they would depart for Tiansheng tomorrow.
When Qu Ting’s words reached Xiao Bingying, she began packing their hanging clothes. Chengxi, however, sat aside in a daze, seemingly preoccupied.
Xiao Bingying folded the clothes on the bed, turned back to see Chengxi frowning with her lips pressed together, and asked softly, “Do you not want to leave?”
Hearing the voice, Chengxi snapped out of it and looked up at Xiao Bingying. Xiao Bingying’s eyes were gentle but mixed with worry as she looked at her.
Chengxi nodded, making no attempt to hide it.
Xiao Bingying walked over, crouching down to be eye-level with Chengxi. Looking at the distress in Chengxi’s eyes, she comforted her, “If there’s a chance in the future, I’ll accompany you back.”
At this moment, Xiao Bingying didn’t know Qu Ting was going to rescue Chengxi’s brother, but seeing Chengxi’s face full of sorrow left a bad taste in her mouth.
Chengxi’s wavering gaze searched Xiao Bingying’s face. After seemingly considering it for a long time, she said with a hint of apology, “I want to see my brother one more time.”
She wanted to see Chengfeng come out safely, and she wanted to see him one last time. Xiao Bingying said she would bring her back in the future, but she knew that was almost impossible. Once she left today, she would likely never return to Haichao Kingdom in this lifetime. And as for her brother, there would be no day of reunion.
Hearing Chengxi’s words, Xiao Bingying was stunned and looked puzzled. Chengxi’s brother was currently imprisoned in the Imperial City’s dungeon; how could they meet?
After Chengxi spoke, Xiao Bingying’s mind began racing for a way to let Chengxi and Chengfeng meet. But no matter how she thought about it, it was impossible.
Given her identity and Chengxi’s identity, let alone going to the prison7, just being recognized within the Imperial City would invite disaster. Furthermore, the guards they brought didn’t have enough capability to break into the Imperial City’s dungeon at night to rescue Chengfeng.
Leaving aside whether they could rescue him, even if they did, where would they hide? Where would they send him?
After a brief contemplation, Xiao Bingying increasingly felt that Chengxi choosing to follow her was a mistaken gamble. She couldn’t do anything for her—she couldn’t even fulfill a simple request to see a family member once.
Seeing the dejection slowly appearing on Xiao Bingying’s face, Chengxi raised her hand to stroke behind Xiao Bingying’s ear. After rubbing it for a while, she slowly spoke: “We just need to follow Qu Ting and stay behind.”
Qu Ting had instructed everyone to depart tomorrow, but he hadn’t said he was leaving.
Xiao Bingying looked confused, but when she didn’t get an explanation from Chengxi, she guessed it.
“You made a deal with the Qu family?”
Chengxi looked at Xiao Bingying, who rarely frowned at her, and felt a pang of guilt. Their eyes met for a moment before Chengxi lowered her gaze and nodded.
She hadn’t intended to deceive Xiao Bingying, but keeping her in the dark and turning her into a pawn to push this deal forward made Xiao Bingying uncomfortable.
Xiao Bingying didn’t speak. She gazed at Chengxi, her furrowed brow refusing to smooth out.
Chengxi wanted to say something soft to gain Xiao Bingying’s forgiveness, but after staring at her for a while, Xiao Bingying stood up, opened the door, and walked out.
Chengxi watched Xiao Bingying’s retreating figure, and a look of sorrow climbed onto her face.
Xiao Bingying was gone for a long time. When Chengxi went out to look for her, she found her coming out of Qu Ting and his wife’s room.
Xiao Bingying gently closed their door. When she looked up, she happened to see Chengxi in the hallway, staring in her direction.
Xiao Bingying met her gaze. Seeing the nervousness and sorrow in Chengxi’s eyes, her heart softened. She wasn’t hard-hearted, but she wasn’t someone to be manipulated at will either.
Regarding Chengxi, although she coveted her beauty, she had never hidden anything or been disrespectful. Yet Chengxi had used her as a chess piece, making her persuade Lin Xizhao multiple times to bring Qu Sheng here for her eyes, all to achieve her own goal.
Fortunately, Qu Sheng’s eyes had truly recovered, so the annoyance in her heart was suppressed.
Chengxi stood there watching Xiao Bingying. She knew what she did had angered her, but she didn’t regret it. If she could rescue her brother, let alone angering Xiao Bingying, she wouldn’t hesitate even if it cost her life. Besides, she had already given herself to a woman for this cause.
Xiao Bingying paused for a moment, but ultimately walked helplessly to Chengxi’s side, took Chengxi’s tightly clasped hands, and led her back to the room.
Xiao Bingying pulled Chengxi into the room, pulled her to the side of the door, released her hand, and turned to close the door.
“I’ve already spoken with Third Brother Qu. We will stay here together with them until your brother is rescued.”
Although Xiao Bingying was angry, she still went to Qu Ting. She didn’t make excuses for being used by Chengxi, but she begged Qu Ting to let Chengxi see her brother once.
Qu Ting agreed.
But to lower the risk, Qu Ting invited Xiao Bingying to participate. Compared to the guards, Xiao Bingying’s martial arts skills were among the best.
They hadn’t brought many people this time, and half had to be split off to protect Qu Sheng and Lin Xizhao, leaving very few available.
The Imperial City’s dungeon was inside the palace, but some time ago, Qu Ting had used personnel planted there to persuade the new King of Haichao to move Chengfeng outside the palace to pray for the Haichao Kingdom.
Although Chengfeng was a prisoner, many people in Haichao still cared about him. Having him pray could appease the officials and commoners, preventing them from harboring rebellious thoughts.
Chengxi was stunned for a moment. She had originally thought Xiao Bingying went to Qu Ting just to extricate herself and stay safe. She never expected that she went to present such an excessive request to Qu Ting.
“Bingying, I…” Chengxi wanted to apologize to Xiao Bingying, but the words stuck in her throat and couldn’t come out.
Would she even care for such an apology?
Xiao Bingying looked back at Chengxi. The tenderness in her eyes was gone, replaced by helplessness.
“It’s late. We should rest.”
The moment Xiao Bingying spoke, Chengxi immediately understood her intent. Since she had rejected Xiao Bingying once, Xiao Bingying had never done anything presumptuous to her again.
And because Chengxi was preoccupied with her brother, she had forgotten this matter, lying in Xiao Bingying’s arms with a clear conscience, neglecting Xiao Bingying’s endurance.
After speaking, Xiao Bingying walked to the bed on her own and began undressing. Chengxi stood there, biting her lower lip lightly. When Xiao Bingying untied her sash, Chengxi walked over and took over her movements.
These days, Xiao Bingying had never asked her to serve her. But Chengxi coming over suddenly like this made her feel that Chengxi being with her was merely to seek shelter—or to use her.
Saying she liked her… thinking about it now, it seemed like a joke. How could someone like her be liked? Especially by a beauty capable of toppling cities.
The willingness Chengxi spoke of that night also made her suspect if it was just to get her to agree to bring her into Haichao Kingdom smoothly and lower her guard.
Xiao Bingying was slightly taller than Chengxi. She looked down at Chengxi lightly pressing her red, soft lips together. When Chengxi finished removing the outer robe and went to undo the inner robe, Xiao Bingying held her hand down.
“I’ll do it myself.” Xiao Bingying’s voice held no emotion, much like her heart at this moment—empty. It used to be filled with love for the woman in front of her, but now she had hidden it away.
Xiao Bingying changed into her nightgown and lay down. When she saw Chengxi undressing too, she glanced away. It wasn’t until she felt the quilt being lifted and looked sideways that she saw Chengxi had already moved close.
The soft lips Xiao Bingying had coveted for so long were now lightly sucking on hers, cautiously trying to please her.
The soft lips ground back and forth gently, but Xiao Bingying felt no lust in her heart. When Chengxi moved her body to adjust her posture and the quilt slipped off, Xiao Bingying pushed Chengxi away.
“You don’t have to debase yourself like this. Whatever you want, I’ll try my best to satisfy you.”
The quilt had slipped down. Chengxi knelt there naked. She looked at Xiao Bingying’s determined gaze with hurt eyes, her brows knitted together.
Did she misunderstand Xiao Bingying’s intention just now?
Early the next morning, Lin Xizhao woke up in Qu Sheng’s arms. Seeing Qu Sheng’s spirited eyes staring straight at her, her eyes curved unconsciously, and she asked with a smile in a lazy, soft morning voice, “I’m not running away. Why do you keep looking at me like that?”
Qu Sheng’s lips hooked slightly. She had always liked looking at Lin Xizhao before; now that her sight was restored, naturally, she had to look a bit more, making up for what she missed.
Looking at Lin Xizhao’s sweet smile, Qu Sheng’s heart, which had been itching since last night, couldn’t hold back anymore. Qu Sheng didn’t speak, but her bright gaze—burning like a fire—let Lin Xizhao know exactly what she wanted to do.
Qu Sheng slowly moved her lips closer. Lin Xizhao subconsciously lowered her eyes to look at Qu Sheng’s lips, which hid a sensation unlike anything else she had experienced in life. She both feared it and wanted to savor it.
“Sheng’er, we’re leaving soon.” Lin Xizhao turned her face to dodge Qu Sheng’s kiss.
Hearing this, Qu Sheng stopped. Watching Lin Xizhao avert her gaze, not annoyed in the slightest, she reached out and gently pinched Lin Xizhao’s chin, forcing her to turn back.
Lin Xizhao was forced to look up at Qu Sheng, only to hear Qu Sheng’s warm lips open and close: “We’ll leave in a few days. Not today.”
Lin Xizhao felt confused, but she barely opened her mouth before Qu Sheng seized the opportunity. The moment their lips met, Qu Sheng used the tip of her agile tongue to wrap around her words and steal them away.
Whatever she wanted to say could be asked later—as long as she still had the energy.
The author has something to say:
Qu Sheng: “I can never see enough of my wifey in this lifetime.”
Lin Xizhao: “Glib-tongued8.”
Qu Sheng: “Wifey, I love you.”
Lin Xizhao: “I know.”
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