The Prime Minister’s Daughter and the Marquis’s Fool – Chapter 68

There Is Absolutely No Possibility Between Us

Upon hearing that Lin Xizhao had arrived, everyone stood up. Qu Sheng raised her eyes to look at the servant entering; seeing the joy on his face, she knew that Lin Xizhao was safe and unharmed.

She sat in her chair without moving, and a moment later, Lin Xizhao was brought in by the Liang Residence’s steward.

The elders in the room walked toward the door to welcome her. Lin Xizhao entered with a smile and performed a salute to everyone. “Xizhao has come without prior greeting; I hope, Uncles¹, that you will not blame Xizhao.”

The Liang family uncles were too happy to see Lin Xizhao to blame her. The Liang family’s youngest uncle² laughed, “How could we? Xiao Sheng’er already told us on your behalf in advance.”

Lin Xizhao’s originally gently smiling face froze for a split second, and then she slowly restrained her smile because at this moment she saw Feng Qi standing behind everyone.

Feng Qi, seeing that Lin Xizhao had spotted him through the gaps between the Liang family uncles’ figures, performed a gongshou³. “Eldest Miss.”

That Feng Qi could find his way here proved that Qu Sheng already knew she had come. She looked sideways to search for Qu Sheng’s figure in the hall, and sure enough, she saw Qu Sheng in the guest seats, still holding a cup and drinking hot tea.

Hearing Feng Qi’s voice, Qu Sheng also looked over. Although they had only been apart for this one night, she missed Lin Xizhao.

However, Lin Xizhao had executed first and reported later⁴, disregarding her own danger to leave, which made her extremely angry after learning she was safe.

She just sat there in the chair staring at Lin Xizhao, with absolutely no expression on her face.

While Lin Xizhao was stunned, the Liang family uncles spoke to her again, so she began to respond.

“Since you are here, stay until after the Shangyuan Festival⁵ before leaving,” said the Liang family’s eldest uncle⁶ Liang Lianshang with smiling eyes.

He hadn’t seen Lin Xizhao for a long time either; as a local parent official⁷, it was not easy to leave the prefecture where he held office.

Hearing this, Lin Xizhao nodded and smiled gently again. “Good, Xizhao had this intention in coming here.” When she came, she had planned to stay here for a long time—at least three months, at most one or two years—long enough to let Qu Sheng fade this affection that the world did not approve of.

But before her front foot had arrived, Qu Sheng’s back foot had already stepped in, throwing her into disarray again. However, she had anticipated beforehand that Qu Sheng would come here to find her; this wasn’t the Capital, so she could still handle it.

Everyone exchanged pleasantries with Lin Xizhao for a moment, then they all looked toward Qu Sheng. Qu Sheng also stood up at this time; she had originally intended to leave, but since Lin Xizhao had arrived and just said she would stay until Shangyuan, then she would stay too.

“Jiejie⁸.” Qu Sheng’s soft, glutinous⁹ voice gently called out to Lin Xizhao.

The corners of Lin Xizhao’s lips curved slightly; although the smile was a bit forced, in Qu Sheng’s eyes, she was still beautiful beyond compare¹⁰.

“Sheng’er.” Lin Xizhao walked to her side as if nothing had happened between them.

Qu Sheng also took a few steps forward, looking up at Lin Xizhao, her eyes full of obedience.

It was now dark outside. The eldest Liang uncle ordered a family banquet to be set up, while Lin Xizhao returned to her mother’s former small courtyard to bathe and change clothes.

Qu Sheng had already bathed and changed out of her bloodstained clothes earlier; Lin Xizhao did not realize that Qu Sheng had encountered danger. Inside the washroom, she stared dazedly at the flower petals in the bathtub, thinking about what to do next.

Just now, Qu Sheng had been cooperating with her outside, and the uncles had not noticed the change in their relationship.

“Miss, Master Jiu has sent someone to urge you,” Lin Xizhao’s maid came in from outside and said.

Lin Xizhao had been bathing for too long.

Lin Xizhao’s body moved slightly, creating ripples in the tub. She came back to her senses and said in a gentle voice, “I know.”

Lin Xizhao rose from the tub, allowed the maid to wipe her body clean and change her dress, and then went out.

At this time, Qu Sheng was waiting in the dining hall. Everyone was already seated, waiting only for her to go over.

Seeing Lin Xizhao arrive, the Liang family’s eldest aunt¹¹ stood up, took her hand, and sat her down by her side; Qu Sheng sat in the seat below hers.

Qu Sheng was as reticent as before. These people knew she didn’t like to talk, so just now they had been talking among themselves without asking her anything; if there was any business, they asked Feng Qi.

By now, Feng Qi had already gone to the wing room prepared for him by the Liang family.

After Lin Xizhao took her seat, everyone began the banquet. Qu Sheng sat to the side without moving her chopsticks, looking at Lin Xizhao eagerly.

Lin Xizhao glanced at her sideways, lightly pursed her soft lips, and served her some food.

With food in her bowl, Qu Sheng began to eat silently, but once she finished, she looked at Lin Xizhao again.

Helpless, Lin Xizhao could only continue serving her food. Although she wanted to avoid her, the person was already clinging to her now, and she couldn’t just watch her go hungry.

The Liang family aunt¹² was used to Qu Sheng being like this, only thinking that the sisterly affection between them was as good as ever.

After dinner, Qu Sheng consciously followed Lin Xizhao to the courtyard. It was completely dark now, and it was impossible to chase anyone away at this time.

Watching Qu Sheng walk toward the master bedroom with her head down, Lin Xizhao stopped and said, “I will sleep in the wing room.” She could not stay on the same bed as Qu Sheng anymore.

Qu Sheng also stopped walking toward the room at this moment. The maid, who had pushed the door open and was waiting for them to enter, froze for a moment, then walked behind Lin Xizhao.

There were maids serving in the Liang residence courtyard, so Lin Xizhao was not worried that no one would take care of Qu Sheng.

Qu Sheng stood in place, silently watching Lin Xizhao walk toward the wing room not far away. Once Lin Xizhao entered the room, Qu Sheng stared for a while before turning and entering the bedroom in the courtyard.

Qu Sheng was already tired from rushing on the road these past few days; now that Lin Xizhao had entered the Liang residence, she wasn’t so worried. If there was movement outside, she would go over immediately.

Qu Sheng unfastened her outer garment and lay on the ta¹³. The candle was still burning; a maid entered to serve, blew out the light, and closed the door.

After a long time, Qu Sheng stood at the door inside the room, listening as Lin Xizhao’s maid came over to ask the maid by the door if Qu Sheng had retired for the night.

The Liang residence maid lowered her head and replied, “The lights were extinguished two ke¹⁴ ago.” She didn’t know if she was asleep, but what else could she do after the lights were out? The young miss of the Qu family didn’t like to talk or smile; she was probably asleep by now.

After Lin Xizhao’s maid left, the Liang residence maid yawned and returned to her room when the Hour of Hai¹⁵ arrived.

In the dead of night, Qu Sheng pulled open the door.

Lin Xizhao’s maid would also return to her room to rest during the Hour of Hai. There was no one guarding the door right now; although there were guards, they didn’t know what had happened between Qu Sheng and Lin Xizhao, so seeing Qu Sheng go in, they didn’t stop her.

There was sound when Qu Sheng walked into the room. When she pushed open the door to the inner chamber, Lin Xizhao opened her eyes, which had been closed all along.

Qu Sheng had only draped a thick outer coat over herself. She walked to the bed, threw the coat aside, took off her shoes, and got onto the ta.

Although they had seen each other today, there had been almost no extra words. Lin Xizhao had already sat up. As soon as Qu Sheng got on the ta, she moved close to Lin Xizhao, turned on her side, reached out to hug Lin Xizhao’s waist, and closed her eyes.

She could do nothing, but Lin Xizhao had to be by her side.

Lin Xizhao had felt relieved earlier hearing the maid say Qu Sheng had gone to sleep, yet she couldn’t fall asleep no matter what. She hadn’t slept more than a few shichen¹⁶ last night due to the journey. Today, she had intended to tell her uncles upon arrival that if Qu Sheng sent anyone to ask, they should say they hadn’t seen her. But before she even entered the gate, Qu Sheng had already arrived, so this method wouldn’t work anymore.

Lin Xizhao lowered her eyes to look at Qu Sheng lying beside her. The dimly lit room was unusually quiet, and Qu Sheng’s breathing was even and gentle.

Early the next morning—perhaps she was too tired—Lin Xizhao didn’t know when she had fallen asleep after staying up until the latter half of the night. At this moment, she only felt a heavy weight pressing on her body, and the air at her nose was being plundered.

Lin Xizhao woke up due to physical discomfort.

The moment Lin Xizhao opened her eyes, she saw Qu Sheng, eyes open, still gently kissing her. Qu Sheng sensed the slight movement of the person beneath her and knew Lin Xizhao was awake.

She had been so tired last night, yet she preferred to sleep sitting up rather than lie flat with her. If she hadn’t been considerate of Lin Xizhao’s health and wanted her to rest well, this kiss would likely have started before dawn.

Once Lin Xizhao opened her eyes, Qu Sheng stopped the kiss. She looked down at Lin Xizhao’s expression of disbelief and the panic of just waking up; once she had breathed enough air, she lowered her head and kissed her again.

This kiss lacked gentleness; it carried a punishment that Lin Xizhao could not avoid.

Before the long, lingering kiss ended, Qu Sheng bit through Lin Xizhao’s soft lips, which she had ground red. The pain caused Lin Xizhao to struggle more intensely, frowning as she looked at the person above her.

Qu Sheng raised her head, looking down at the fresh blood at the corner of Lin Xizhao’s lips, staining the space between her lips crimson, like a bright flower just beginning to bloom, dazzling her so much she couldn’t look away.

Seeing the blood flowing unceasingly from Lin Xizhao’s wound, Qu Sheng lowered her head and kissed her again. Qu Sheng extended the tip of her tongue to taste the flavor from within Lin Xizhao; in an instant, the metallic taste of blood spread through her mouth.

Her wound touched, Lin Xizhao let out a muffled mmph and tried to dodge Qu Sheng’s kiss, but the disparity in strength between the two was too great. She was forced to let Qu Sheng continue kissing her, sucking away the bloodstains on her lips bit by bit.

A long time later, when the wound stopped bleeding, Qu Sheng swallowed all the blood she had taken into her mouth. She glanced a few times at Lin Xizhao, who was staring at her in confusion, and got off the ta.

The words between them had been made very clear: she liked Lin Xizhao.

Lin Xizhao’s maid heard the commotion and pushed the door open to enter, freezing for a moment upon seeing Qu Sheng. Qu Sheng looked up at her briefly and went out.

Qu Sheng went to the master bedroom. The maid waiting at the door to serve was also stunned for a moment, then followed Qu Sheng into the room to help her wash and groom.

Lin Xizhao didn’t dare go to the dining hall for breakfast. The wound on her lip was obviously new; if she went out now and was asked about it, she wouldn’t have a suitable explanation. She could only wait for it to scab over and find an excuse about internal heat¹⁷ to explain it away.

Lin Xizhao was having breakfast in her room. Qu Sheng didn’t go to the dining hall either; while Lin Xizhao was eating, Qu Sheng came in.

Seeing Qu Sheng sit down, the maid habitually served her a bowl of rice.

Qu Sheng sat down to eat without speaking; anyone could see that Qu Sheng was angry. But even though Lin Xizhao knew she was angry, she dared not relent and admit to the feelings between them.

After finishing the rice in her bowl, Qu Sheng sat there staring at Lin Xizhao. Lin Xizhao chewed her food carefully; when she looked up at her, her gaze was guilty.

She was the one whose bed had been occupied last night, and she was the one who had been forcibly kissed, yet she simply couldn’t righteously be angry with Qu Sheng.

It was all her fault. It was she who caused Qu Sheng to develop such twisted feelings for her, and it was she who could never leave Qu Sheng, letting her keep her company every night, leading Qu Sheng to mistake it for normal affection.

Lin Xizhao ate a few mouthfuls of food hastily. After the maid cleared the dining table, the two sat in the room in a daze.

Lin Xizhao stared blankly at the teacup on the table, while Qu Sheng stared blankly at Lin Xizhao’s face.

Half a shichen later, Lin Xizhao finally couldn’t hold it back anymore. With a hint of self-reproach in her voice, she softly called Qu Sheng’s name: “Sheng’er…”

She had already made things clear in her letter, yet Qu Sheng had still chased her here.

Qu Sheng raised her eyes to meet Lin Xizhao’s gaze, waiting for her next words.

“I…” Lin Xizhao started to speak but stopped. She bit her lower lip lightly, staring at Qu Sheng’s scrutinizing gaze, and said again, “Us being like this is wrong.”

Round and round it went, always the same words; she felt that it was wrong for a woman to be with a woman like that.

Qu Sheng didn’t speak, just gazing at Lin Xizhao until Lin Xizhao got anxious. So she said again, “It’s Jiejie’s fault. I didn’t realize it early enough and let you misunderstand.”

When dealing with Qu Sheng, Lin Xizhao would always take the blame on herself first. This wasn’t a diplomatic excuse; she truly thought so in her heart.

Qu Sheng had been poor at words since childhood but was sensible. As the older sister, she naturally had to teach by example, to be a good role model. This current situation was all caused by her excessive dependence on Qu Sheng.

“If Sheng’er were a man today, would Jiejie be willing to marry me?” Qu Sheng asked this question after Lin Xizhao had paused for a long time.

Lin Xizhao had never thought about this question, but the moment Qu Sheng voiced it, she had the answer in her heart.

Qu Sheng also saw the answer from the reaction in her eyes: Lin Xizhao was willing.

“Jiejie is willing to marry Sheng’er,” Qu Sheng stated with certainty.

Lin Xizhao’s eyes were filled with worry and fear. She didn’t want to mislead Qu Sheng anymore, nor did she want to hold her back. “But there are no ‘ifs’, are there?”

If Qu Sheng were a man, she would be willing to marry her, but she wasn’t, and could never be.

“As long as Jiejie is willing, what does it matter if Sheng’er is a man or not?” Qu Sheng did not believe that unions in this world had to be between a man and a woman.

Since Heaven created two genders, everything is possible. Matching is just a path set by ancestors for the majority to walk, not one that everyone must walk.

“But—”

“No buts. As long as Jiejie agrees to marry Sheng’er, Sheng’er will definitely marry Jiejie.” Qu Sheng was consistently persistent about things she decided on, and this time would be no exception.

“I cannot promise you; I simply do not like you.” Lin Xizhao suddenly changed her expression; the gentleness on her face was gone, replaced by a look of alienation in her eyes. “I don’t want to lie to you. There is absolutely no possibility between us.”

She knew Qu Sheng’s persistence. If she didn’t refuse so harshly, she feared she would have to circle around with her in words for a long time. Better to be clean and swift, so Qu Sheng could withdraw such thoughts early.

In fact, she had wanted to do this from the start, but Qu Sheng was too sensitive. She was afraid that sharp words would be too much for Qu Sheng to bear, causing her to do something drastic.

It didn’t matter what happened to her, but if Qu Sheng harmed her own body, she would regret it immensely.

But in the current situation, she had no other choice.

Qu Sheng naturally did not believe the words Lin Xizhao was saying now. Lin Xizhao’s words passed over her heart without stirring a single ripple.

“Sheng’er will wait for Jiejie to like me. Sheng’er will wait for Jiejie forever.” Lin Xizhao said she didn’t like her, so she would wait until Lin Xizhao fell in love with her.

Seeing the determination in Qu Sheng’s eyes, Lin Xizhao’s gaze wavered, and she could only sigh in her heart. She couldn’t stop Qu Sheng’s affection, so let her wait. A waiting without response would eventually fade.

The room fell into silence again. A moment later, there was a noise at the door outside.

“Eldest Miss, Miss Sheng, Guard Feng is here.”

Hearing this, Lin Xizhao looked away from her standoff with Qu Sheng and looked toward the door.

“Let him in.”

Lin Xizhao knew Feng Qi was here for Qu Sheng. She hadn’t asked in detail about the two of them coming here, nor was there anything to ask.

The door opened. Feng Qi entered and bowed to the two young ladies, then said to Qu Sheng, “Miss, the guards have all arrived.” They had traveled too fast on the road and had used up their signal fireworks halfway. It was not easy for these guards to find this place.

Qu Sheng glanced at Feng Qi, lowered her eyes for a moment, and said, “Stay outside the courtyard.”

The Liang family had several military generals, and the residence had hired many retired soldiers; she felt quite safe here.

Feng Qi bowed his head, glanced at Lin Xizhao again, and went out.

After lunch, Lin Xizhao’s eyes were sore due to lack of sleep, so she had to rest her head on her hand and close her eyes at the desk. She didn’t dare get onto the ta now, fearing Qu Sheng would kiss her again.

However, just because she didn’t get onto the ta didn’t mean someone wouldn’t carry her there.

Qu Sheng stood up, walked over to Lin Xizhao, who seemed to have fallen asleep, bent down, and gently picked her up. Because she was on guard against Qu Sheng, Lin Xizhao’s body swayed, and she woke up in an instant.

“What are you doing?” Lin Xizhao spoke to Qu Sheng in a rare cold voice.

Hearing this, Qu Sheng looked down at Lin Xizhao. She seemed to have anticipated Lin Xizhao’s reaction, yet she was still a bit hurt. She didn’t speak. After carrying Lin Xizhao to the ta in the inner room, she said, “Rest, Jiejie. Sheng’er will not disturb you.”

She didn’t want Lin Xizhao to ruin her health because of her; she was giving her time to rest.

Hearing Qu Sheng’s words, a trace of doubt appeared in Lin Xizhao’s eyes. She had entered her room so late last night; how could she possibly leave her lying on the ta alone?

After Qu Sheng went out, Lin Xizhao waited for a long time. Seeing that Qu Sheng didn’t come over, she couldn’t withstand the drowsiness and fell asleep again. This sleep was groggy, and she even had nightmares.

At dinner time, Lin Xizhao went to the dining hall. Qu Sheng, upon being informed by Feng Qi that Lin Xizhao had left her room, followed closely behind.

The two had dinner with everyone. Lin Xizhao didn’t serve food to Qu Sheng today, but even if she didn’t, the Liang aunts would still take care of Qu Sheng.

By now, the Liang family could also see that a rift seemed to have developed between the two. Last night, Lin Xizhao had actually separated from Qu Sheng and deliberately gone to sleep in the wing room.

At the dinner table, Lin Xizhao chatted warmly with the elders, but upon returning to the courtyard, she deliberately put on a cold face again. Qu Sheng wanted to follow Lin Xizhao into the wing room, but Lin Xizhao blocked the doorway, staring at Qu Sheng and refusing to let her in.

“Sheng-meimei should rest by herself tonight.” Lin Xizhao’s words were meant to drive Qu Sheng away.

Qu Sheng gazed at Lin Xizhao’s beautiful but cold face; even the ends of her thin brows held determination. Qu Sheng’s throat bobbed for a moment, and the heartbreak in her eyes was revealed without concealment.

Lin Xizhao was slightly stunned by the sight, and her heart began to feel guilty again; how could she bear to see Qu Sheng like this?

Qu Sheng stood at the door in a stalemate with Lin Xizhao for a few moments. Lin Xizhao dared not look into Qu Sheng’s eyes anymore; glancing elsewhere for a moment, she closed the door.

Lin Xizhao leaned her body against the door, looking dejected. She had never thought there would come a day when she would treat Qu Sheng like this. If Qu Sheng was sad, she felt even worse than her—her heart ached.

Lin Xizhao suffered in the room for a long time. She thought Qu Sheng had already left, but when she leaned forward to peek through the crack in the door, she saw Qu Sheng’s upright standing figure.

Such a frail body, in this cold night…

Lin Xizhao subconsciously wanted to open the door, but just as she raised her hand, she stopped. She shouldn’t be soft-hearted; if she softened now, it would surely be more painful in the future.

Perhaps she would lose Qu Sheng by doing this, but after thinking it over, she felt it was better than letting Qu Sheng go astray. Her favorite little sister shouldn’t be criticized by others again because of her, nor should she let her deviate from her original path.

Lin Xizhao stood at the door, peering out like this. Qu Sheng kept staring at the door, her body seemingly frozen, motionless.

The snow from the night before last hadn’t completely melted, and tonight snowflakes began to fall again. Qu Sheng wasn’t even wearing a cloak. Lin Xizhao was extremely worried seeing Qu Sheng like this, but just as she wanted to open the door, a Liang residence maid brought a cloak and draped it over her.

Qu Sheng’s body was wet in patches. The maid stood by, breathing onto her hands and rubbing them ceaselessly from the cold. The maid didn’t know what was wrong with the two mistresses today, why they were so angry with each other.

During this time, Feng Qi came once. After signaling the maid to leave with his eyes, he left as well. Although Qu Sheng was wearing a thick cloak, she couldn’t withstand such heavy snow. Snowflakes fell in profusion, dyeing Qu Sheng’s thin shoulders white.

One shichen later, Lin Xizhao finally couldn’t withstand the torment in her heart and opened the door.

Hearing the door move, Qu Sheng looked over, only to see Lin Xizhao’s back.

Lin Xizhao was letting her in, but she still didn’t welcome her.

The door was open. When Qu Sheng moved her steps, her body was stiff from the cold. The moment she lifted her foot, her limbs wavered, and she almost fell to her knees.

Yet Lin Xizhao never looked back, though she had just heard it.

Qu Sheng stopped in place, slowly moved her hands and feet, and after she could barely move, she entered the room.

Qu Sheng closed the door. After taking off the cloak that was already mostly wet, steam began to rise from her form-fitting clothes.

It was truly too cold outside; her wet outer clothes hadn’t been dried by her body heat after so long. Now, near the stove, her body temperature began to recover slowly, and only then did the moisture begin to evaporate.

Qu Sheng glanced sideways, raised her hand to her waist, and took off the outer garment that was wet at the shoulders and neck. Qu Sheng threw the outer garment aside casually, but then she heard Lin Xizhao’s footsteps.

Lin Xizhao peeked out from the inner room, lowered her eyes to look at the clothes Qu Sheng had thrown by the desk, and although her voice was gentle, her expression was bone-chillingly cold: “Do not throw things around in my room.”

Hearing this, Qu Sheng was stunned. She hadn’t thrown it around; although she had placed it casually by the desk, she would have tidied it up later.

In Lin Xizhao’s eyes, there was nothing but alienation. Qu Sheng knew Lin Xizhao was doing it on purpose, but it still made her uncomfortable deep down; she couldn’t stand Lin Xizhao treating her like this.

Lin Xizhao only took one look at the pitiful expression in Qu Sheng’s eyes before hurriedly looking away; she feared that if she looked one moment longer, she wouldn’t be able to keep up the act.

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The author has something to say:

Qu Sheng: “Jiejie, love me.”

Lin Xizhao: “Can’t see, can’t see.”

Qu Sheng: “…”

To understand Lin Xizhao in this context: thoughts, unless they belong to a radical person, are truly influenced deeply by their environment. The long, slow road of a little lesbian¹⁸ who hasn’t been exposed to the wider world involves constantly generating ideas, denying them, questioning them, and finally admitting to them.

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