I Disagree!
Lin Xizhao reined in her fleeting, chaotic thoughts and shook her head. She had never heard Qu Sheng mention it, and besides, Qu Sheng had been with her almost constantly since her return. The young master she was supposedly vetting for her… was he from Shoulin?
Lin Xizhao didn’t know what Qu Sheng had been through during her year in Shoulin, but her temper had certainly grown.
“She must not have told you because she wanted to give you a surprise. I just wonder which family’s young master it is. Xiao Sheng’er, making big moves from a muffled sound,”1 Zhao Jiayu praised, her eyes sparkling.
She herself had married into a good family, and she wanted the same for her dear friends.
Lin Xizhao lowered her gaze and said nothing. Zhao Jiayu was still lost in her own excitement. “I’ll ask her when she gets back. If she won’t tell you, she’ll have to tell me.”
Lin Xizhao looked up at her, a stuffiness in her chest, a faint smile touching her lips.
The two waited in the room for a while, but Qu Sheng did not return. Zhao Jiayu had an impatient nature; she could not sit still. She went to the rear courtyard to look for Qu Sheng but could not find her anywhere. When she asked the servants, they all said they didn’t know where she was.
Puzzled, Zhao Jiayu stood where she was and scratched the back of her neck. Did she burrow into the ground or something? she thought.
Zhao Jiayu dejectedly returned to find Lin Xizhao, who was still reading her book. When she heard Qu Sheng wasn’t in the residence, a look of doubt crossed her face as well. But she quickly soothed Zhao Jiayu, saying, “Perhaps she’s in another courtyard. Let’s just wait a bit longer.” She didn’t know what Qu Sheng was doing, but it was most likely related to investigating the cause of Qu Ce’s death.
Lin Xizhao was not curious about the young master Qu Sheng had supposedly found for her, nor did she want to know.
By the time Qu Sheng returned, dusk had fallen, just in time for the evening meal. The moment Qu Sheng entered the room, before she even got close, Lin Xizhao once again caught that strange odor on her.
This time, Lin Xizhao did not ask what she had been doing, but as soon as Zhao Jiayu smelled it, she wrinkled her brow and said, “Why do you reek so strongly of gunpowder?”
Hearing Zhao Jiayu’s words, Lin Xizhao froze for a moment. She looked at Qu Sheng, her expression filled with suspicion.
She had never handled gunpowder herself, but she knew what fireworks smelled like. However, the smell on Qu Sheng was slightly different from that of fireworks.
Qu Sheng glanced at Zhao Jiayu, then turned her gaze to Lin Xizhao. She offered no explanation for the scrutinizing look in Lin Xizhao’s eyes.
“Did you go to the storeroom to play with fireworks?” Zhao Jiayu’s words would not rest until they startled people to death.2
Her words instantly made Lin Xizhao guess something. She stared at Qu Sheng, a hint of shock in her eyes.
Qu Sheng looked away at Zhao Jiayu and denied it. “No.” She had not been playing with fireworks, but she had been disposing of the leftover materials from making them.
Those assistant commanders had entered the capital under the guise of attending Qu Yu’s wedding feast. Their movements in and out of the city were being closely watched, so they could not be allowed to carry those residual materials out with them.
Zhao Jiayu didn’t believe Qu Sheng. She stepped closer, putting her nose to Qu Sheng’s clothes and sniffing. “Hmm, it does smell a lot like fireworks, but this is stronger. Stinky.” As she spoke, Zhao Jiayu fanned the air in front of her nose.
Lin Xizhao observed Qu Sheng’s calm expression, thought for a moment, and said, “Are you hungry? Why don’t you change your clothes before we go eat?”
Qu Sheng looked up and gave a soft “Mm,” then took the hand Lin Xizhao extended to her and followed her into the inner chamber.
Zhao Jiayu waited outside, suddenly remembering the purpose of her visit. As Lin Xizhao and Qu Sheng went into the inner room, Zhao Jiayu stood at the doorway and asked in a louder voice, “Xiao Sheng’er, I heard you’ve found a match for Xizhao. Which family’s young master is it?”
At her words, Qu Sheng lowered her eyes to Lin Xizhao, who was currently untying her clothes. Lin Xizhao acted as if nothing was amiss and continued her task. When she looked up, her gaze met Qu Sheng’s deep, inscrutable eyes.
Now that Zhao Jiayu had asked, Qu Sheng knew it must have been Jin Yunfei who told her. She looked down at Lin Xizhao’s placid expression, and a sense of restlessness grew in her heart.
Lin Xizhao’s reaction was a little too calm. If it were anyone else, they would have reacted in some way—either with shyness or playful teasing. But Lin Xizhao’s response made it impossible for her to discern her attitude.
Lin Xizhao took a set of clean clothes from the side for Qu Sheng to change into. She tied the sash at her waist and smoothed the hair on her back without asking a single word.
When they came out, Zhao Jiayu immediately resumed her relentless questioning. She had wanted to go in when she did not get a response earlier, but then she remembered that Qu Sheng was shy, and Lin Xizhao had reminded her many times to be more careful not to frighten her. That was the only reason she had not dared to barge into the inner room.
The moment Qu Sheng emerged, Zhao Jiayu asked urgently, “Hurry up and tell me, which family’s young master is it?”
Qu Sheng shot her a glance before looking over at Lin Xizhao. Lin Xizhao met the eyes of the insistent Zhao Jiayu, then looked back at Qu Sheng.
Qu Sheng’s gaze was so sharp that Lin Xizhao had to look away. She turned to Zhao Jiayu and, after a moment, gave a helpless, soft laugh. “Sheng’er was just joking. How could you take it seriously?”
Zhao Jiayu stared blankly for a second, a look of confusion on her face. After a moment, she blinked and said, “That cannot be right. She wouldn’t lie to Auntie3, would she?”
Lin Xizhao smiled at Qu Sheng and explained, “It’s probably because my adoptive mother keeps bringing it up, so Sheng’er wanted to run some interference for me.”
That was not what Lin Xizhao had said when Zhao Jiayu first arrived, so she figured Qu Sheng must have explained it to her in the room just now.
A half-day’s worth of excitement was snuffed out by Lin Xizhao’s words. Her face fell as she grumbled, “Such a little devil in a small package4, daring to lie even to Auntie.”
On the way to the dining hall, Qu Sheng remained silent, and Lin Xizhao did not look at her. That evening, after her bath, Lin Xizhao returned to her room to find Qu Sheng was not there. A servant informed her that she had been summoned by Jin Yunfei.
Qu Sheng sat in Jin Yunfei’s room, staring at the floorboards. Jin Yunfei looked at her helplessly. “You tell me, your mother, is there really someone or not?”
Qu Sheng’s silence that afternoon had made Zhao Jiayu believe Lin Xizhao’s explanation. Zhao Jiayu had been sent on a mission, so she naturally had to bring back an answer.
Qu Sheng’s thin lips moved slightly. “Yes.”
“Which family’s young master?” Jin Yunfei needed to get a clear answer this time so she could look into him.
Qu Sheng lowered her head again and said nothing. Jin Yunfei grew anxious. “Zhao’er is a few years older than you. Your marriage can wait, but we cannot delay Zhao’er’s.” The implication was that if Qu Sheng had not found someone suitable, she would quickly ask others to look again; they were bound to find someone good.
“Mother will know when the time comes.” Qu Sheng was unwilling to say more, using the same evasive line as before. She could not say anything right now. She first needed to know how deep Lin Xizhao’s feelings for her went. If Lin Xizhao was willing to be with her, then she would deal with the elders.
Otherwise, if Jin Yunfei were to put a stop to it before Lin Xizhao had even said anything…
She knew that Lin Xizhao had always been obedient to her mother. If Jin Yunfei were to strictly forbid them from being together, she might not be able to persuade Qu Sheng, but she could certainly make Lin Xizhao obey.
When Qu Sheng returned to their room, Lin Xizhao was already lying in bed. As she stood by the bed and undressed, Lin Xizhao just watched her quietly.
Qu Sheng got onto the bed, but before she could move closer, Lin Xizhao spoke. “Sheng’er, the fire at the Earl of Yongshen’s residence… did you have someone do it?”
Qu Sheng, who was propping herself up on her elbows to move, froze and looked up at Lin Xizhao.
“I know you want to avenge my mother, but…” Lin Xizhao lowered her gaze. She wanted to say it was too risky, but the deed was already done.
If not for Zhao Jiayu’s thoughtless words today, she would likely still be in the dark.
“No need to worry.” Qu Sheng admitted it.
Qu Sheng continued to move closer to Lin Xizhao, pulling her into an embrace. She placed a light kiss between her brows and said, “No one will find out.”
Lin Xizhao knew that Qu Sheng was meticulous, but this was simply too worrisome. The Earl of Yongshen’s death was no great loss, and she felt no pity for him. But if Qu Sheng were to be implicated, she would never be able to accept it.
Before Qu Sheng had returned, Lin Xizhao seemed to have pieced everything together. She tentatively asked, “Those two men… them too?” The Earl of Yongshen’s two sons.
Qu Sheng lowered her eyes and, after a long moment, murmured, “Mm.”
“Sheng’er, you…” Lin Xizhao trailed off. She also knew that this could not have been Qu Sheng’s work alone.
Her several brothers from the Qu family must have all been involved.
“Auntie will not have died in vain.” Ever since Qu Sheng had known Lin Xizhao, nearly every time she cried was because of Lady Liang’s5 death. At first, she was just an observer, but later, she became deeply affected by it. Every time Lin Xizhao cried, Qu Sheng’s heart ached.
Hearing this, Lin Xizhao was initially caught between worry and gratitude, but then she remembered there was one more person.
“Do not continue.” Lin Xizhao grew even more worried. There was still another one of her mother’s murderers in the palace.
The Earl of Yongshen’s family, while not a major house, had gained a foothold in the capital because of the Noble Consort6, which showed her capabilities. Now, she was about to give birth to an imperial heir, and her favor with the Emperor was self-evident.
If Qu Sheng were to eliminate the Noble Consort regardless of the consequences, she would inevitably be making an enemy of the Son of Heaven7. If the Emperor ordered a full investigation and the truth came out, she dared not imagine the aftermath.
Qu Sheng stared at Lin Xizhao, guessing her worries in an instant.
“Do not worry, everything will be fine,” Qu Sheng assured her.
They had not been idle on the surface, but just as they were about to bring the culprits to justice, they had managed to escape.
The initial deaths of the Earl’s two sons might have been seen as a coincidence, but for the Earl to die right after his release, the Emperor had probably already guessed that the four deaths in the Earl’s family were connected to the Marquis Qu Residence.
But the situation in the capital was tense, and the various vassal kings in the regions were growing in power.
Marquis Qu Jinian had been submissive for years, so the Emperor believed he had no rebellious intentions and was quite at ease with him. But even if he was not, there was nothing he could do for the time being.
The Emperor wanted to reclaim the military authority from several powerful figures in the capital to gradually suppress these vassal kings. At this critical juncture, the Emperor did not dare to easily offend the Qu family again.
Qu Sheng was betting that he would not dare to act rashly.
“Sheng’er,” Lin Xizhao said urgently. She did not want Qu Sheng and the Qu family to risk themselves any further for her mother’s death.
Four people were already dead. Though vengeance could not be measured in numbers, Lin Xizhao truly did not want to see the Qu family kill for her again.
“Jiejie,” Qu Sheng’s voice became soft and sweet again, her eyes suddenly deepening as her gaze shifted down to Lin Xizhao’s soft lips.
She did not want to discuss this anymore. She would handle everything. Lin Xizhao did not need to worry or ask; she just needed to know the result.
Lin Xizhao was momentarily stunned by Qu Sheng’s predatory gaze, and then her lips grew warm. Qu Sheng gave her no time to react, sucking and kissing them for a few moments, her breath hot. A moment later, she breached the barrier of Lin Xizhao’s teeth, her tongue slipping inside to force Lin Xizhao into a desperate tangle with her own.
Kisses were addictive, especially in bed, when there was no one to disturb them.
Lin Xizhao had originally thought Qu Sheng’s kisses were just an expression of affection for her as an older sister. But now, she had to wonder: did Qu Sheng truly not understand that such things were reserved for the romance between a man and a woman, or was she just pretending not to know?
A long time later, Lin Xizhao was left breathless from the kiss. The words that had been trapped between her lips and teeth came out before she could even catch her breath. “Sheng’er, promise me you won’t go after the one in the palace, alright?”
More than Qu Sheng’s kisses, she was worried Qu Sheng would do something reckless again.
Qu Sheng propped herself up slightly, gazing at Lin Xizhao. Seeing the worry in her eyes, she thought for a moment and said, “Alright.” She would agree for now.
Eliminating the Noble Consort was no small matter. She lived deep within the palace and rarely came out. Qu Sheng would have to wait until after she gave birth to the imperial heir before plotting her next move.
Hearing Qu Sheng’s promise, Lin Xizhao still felt uneasy. She would have to find Qu Ming first thing in the morning.
Qu Sheng lay back down. Lin Xizhao’s anxiety lessened slightly, but it was immediately replaced by thoughts of Qu Sheng’s kiss.
Qu Sheng lay in Lin Xizhao’s arms, her own arm resting properly on Lin Xizhao’s slender waist. For a moment, Lin Xizhao thought she was overthinking things. But a short while later, she again felt that Qu Sheng was just pretending not to understand.
Someone who could plot such an elaborate scheme to avenge her mother—how could Qu Sheng possibly have a skewed understanding of something like this?
What if Qu Sheng was only a participant in this plot, not the mastermind? Lin Xizhao thought it over and over.
Qu Sheng lay in Lin Xizhao’s embrace with her eyes closed. Lin Xizhao looked down at her and, seeing her innocent face, again felt that she was thinking too much.
But she truly could not let something like this happen again.
“Sheng’er, I know you are not asleep yet. You might not have heard what I said last night.” Lin Xizhao looked down at Qu Sheng again. She had blamed herself last night for speaking too late.
Qu Sheng had always been a light sleeper, but after a year apart, she did not know if that had changed. Wanting to repeat her words before Qu Sheng fell asleep, she spoke quickly.
Hearing her, Qu Sheng opened her eyes and looked up at Lin Xizhao.
Lin Xizhao looked at Qu Sheng’s expression—as if she understood perfectly but was waiting for her to continue—and pursed her soft lips, which were still a bit too red from Qu Sheng’s kiss. “Kissing like we just did… it is wrong.”
Qu Sheng feigned a look of incomprehension.
Lin Xizhao continued, explaining in more detail. “We are both women. Such kisses are only for when a man and a woman wish to conceive a child.”
At this, Qu Sheng frowned slightly. She suddenly felt that Lin Xizhao herself was rather ignorant about this matter.
A moment later, a smile Qu Sheng had been suppressing tugged at her lips, stunning Lin Xizhao and causing her cheeks to burn. For a young woman to speak of such things, even if it was just to Qu Sheng, was still somewhat shameful.
“Sheng’er wants to have a child with Jiejie.”
Seeing Lin Xizhao like this, Qu Sheng could no longer hold back the words bottled up in her heart.
She wanted to be with Lin Xizhao, and she wanted to have a child with her. But despite all the books she had read, she had never found an account of two women having a child together.
But that did not matter. All she needed was Lin Xizhao. What she had just said was simply to inform Lin Xizhao that she wanted to marry her like a man would and do the things that led to having a child.
It was a rather explicit thing to say, but to Lin Xizhao’s ears, it sounded like her own words had led Qu Sheng astray.
“Sheng’er,” Lin Xizhao’s voice grew more urgent. After a moment of shock, her eyes filled with self-blame.
She should not have said such a thing.
Hearing Lin Xizhao call her name, Qu Sheng propped herself up again. She stared into Lin Xizhao’s eyes, then her gaze drifted downward as she repeated her earlier words. “Sheng’er wants to have a child with Jiejie.”
This time, Lin Xizhao was completely dumbfounded. She stared blankly at Qu Sheng looming above her, watching as her warm lips drew closer and closer. Just as they were about to touch hers, she turned her head aside.
Qu Sheng’s kiss landed on Lin Xizhao’s cheek. She lifted her head and stared at Lin Xizhao’s averted face, her soft voice holding a hint of grievance. “Doesn’t Jiejie want to have a child with Sheng’er?”
Hearing Qu Sheng’s words, Lin Xizhao turned back to look at her, her eyes filled with incomprehension and shock. She felt she could not understand Qu Sheng at all. But on second thought, it seemed she never really had.
Lin Xizhao rose early the next morning and left the Marquis Qu Residence. Qu Sheng did not leave with her.
Lin Xizhao took a carriage from the Marquis Residence back to the Prime Minister’s Residence. She had been staying in her small private courtyard for days while recovering from her illness, and she had not returned since getting better. A mountain of household affairs was waiting for her.
Fortunately, her two younger brothers were at the residence. Lin Xirui stood to one side, giving her a general summary of the household’s affairs over the past few days. Lin Xizhao checked the accounting ledgers and asked, “Where were the gifts from Lord Xu’s family after the New Year placed?”
Lin Xirui thought for a moment before replying, “They are all in the small room next to the main storeroom.” Lin Jianhai was exceptionally careful about gifts from other officials.
If it was just some local specialty, he would accept it, but he would never dare to take valuable items like gold, silver, or silks. With Lin Xizhao away these past few days, many officials had come to deliver gifts. She had previously instructed Lin Xirui to receive them carefully, and she was not sure if he had paid attention.
“Have they all been opened and checked?” Lin Xizhao asked, looking at him.
Some officials would hide things at the bottom of gift boxes. If she were handling it, she could tell from an official’s expression or the weight of a box, but Lin Xirui had only just started managing the household and did not know these tricks.
“I opened them. It was just things to eat and drink.”
Lin Xizhao nodded. “Let’s go take a look.” She still felt uneasy.
The three of them went to the storeroom area. Lin Xirui took out a key, unlocked the adjacent room, and pushed the door open for Lin Xizhao to enter first.
Once inside, Lin Xizhao saw quite a few items placed on the tables, chairs, and floor.
“What’s this?” Lin Xizhao asked, looking at a long box.
Lin Xirui craned his neck to see. “Oh, that’s from Lord Xu. He said it was some little local trinkets he’d grown.”
“Open it.” Lin Xizhao’s expression darkened slightly.
At her words, Lin Xirui glanced at Lin Xikuan, and quickly stepped forward to open the lid.
Inside were indeed just some common, preservable food items. But when Lin Xizhao reached in and opened a false bottom, Lin Xirui’s jaw dropped.
There was a ginseng root inside.
A single glance told her it was very old, even older than the two she had given to Xiao Bingying.
“Ah Jie… what do we do?” Lin Xirui knew he had messed up. If Lin Jianhai found out, he would surely scold him.
Lin Xizhao stared at the ginseng for a while. “It’s fine. Just have someone return the items.”
It was a good thing they had discovered it early.
After dealing with the gifts, Lin Xizhao inspected the rest of the residence and found no other major problems.
At noon, Lin Jianhai returned home. Seeing Lin Xizhao back and looking much better than when she was ill, he was so pleased that he shared some news he’d received a few days prior.
“Before your mother passed away, she arranged your marriage with an old friend. I thought the matter would never be brought up again, but a few days ago, I received another letter. They said they want to come and see you in a few months.”
“Ah Jie’s marriage?” Lin Xirui looked at Lin Xizhao, bewildered.
No one had ever mentioned that Lin Xizhao had been engaged.
Lin Xizhao was also surprised. Where had this marriage suddenly come from?
“Father, how come I never heard Mother speak of this?”
Lin Jianhai chuckled. “It was just a verbal agreement back then. Your mother wrote to them once but never received a reply, so we thought that was the end of it. Who knew their family still remembered.”
Lin Xizhao’s heart sank. “Father, may I ask which family this is?”
“The Jin family of Lingyi.”
“The Jin family? Isn’t their young master already married?” Lin Xirui had heard of the Jin family. They were also descendants of the nation’s founding heroes, though they were a step below the Qu family.
“He was, but his wife passed away from illness before the New Year.”
“I DISAGREE!” Upon getting a definitive answer, Lin Xirui was so angry he nearly shot to his feet. “If the marriage was arranged long ago, he should not have broken the promise. Now that his wife is dead, he wants to marry my Ah Jie? What white daydreams!8”
Hearing his son’s words, Lin Jianhai’s face darkened. Seeing this, Lin Xizhao quickly stopped him. “Xirui.”
Lin Xirui saw his father’s displeasure but still did not want to agree to this marriage.
If the engagement was set years ago, even a verbal one should be honored. It was not as if his sister had no other prospects; why should she have to be a replacement wife?
So what if he was a marquis? His father was the Prime Minister.
The meal ended on a sour note. Lin Jianhai told Lin Xizhao to think it over herself. The Jin family was one of the more distinguished among the marquisates. If she agreed, it would be a joyous occasion for all. If she refused, he would simply decline and would not force her.
Lin Xizhao had been back at the Prime Minister’s residence for a full day, and Qu Sheng had not come to find her. Although Qu Sheng had not explicitly told her last night that she had romantic feelings for her, she now understood everything.
She had not slept at all last night, and this morning, she had returned home early before Qu Sheng woke up.
Qu Sheng’s words about wanting to have a child with her were still ringing in her ears. Now that Qu Sheng was not by her side, her mind began to run wild again.
Lin Xizhao was consumed by self-blame. She had led Qu Sheng astray. She had failed to be a good elder sister.
She did not know what Qu Sheng’s understanding of love was, but to say she wanted to have a child with her was definitely not a thought one should have for a mere sister.
Qu Sheng was not a fool. While her understanding of some things might be skewed, having a child was as clear as it could be. She could not have misunderstood that.
Lin Xizhao was sitting in her room, lost in a daze, when Lin Xirui knocked on the door. When there was no response for a long time, he grew worried and pushed the door open.
Hearing footsteps, Lin Xizhao turned her head and looked up, momentarily startled. “Xirui, what is it?”
Seeing Lin Xizhao’s preoccupied expression, Lin Xirui hung his head sheepishly. “Ah Jie, can you please not agree to marry into the Jin family? I just went to the Qu family to ask Auntie Qu to find a match for you. There will definitely be someone better than them.”
The Jin family had broken their promise, and now they wanted his sister to be a replacement wife. Only when his wife died did he think of his Ah Jie. He did not want his Ah Jie to suffer such an injustice.
He thought that if their mother, Lady Liang, were still alive, she would not agree either. The fact that his Ah Jie had not known about this engagement for so long proved that their mother no longer cared about it.
The first part of what he said was fine, but the last part made Lin Xizhao freeze. “You went to the Qu residence?”
Lin Xirui nodded quickly. “Yes, Auntie Qu already agreed. And Sheng-meimei9 followed me back just now.”
“Sheng’er?” Hearing that Qu Sheng had come too, Lin Xizhao instinctively looked behind Lin Xirui, only to see, standing outside the door, Qu Sheng, her expression unreadable, without even a cloak on.
“Sheng-meimei was furious when she heard about it.” Lin Xirui turned to look at Qu Sheng, surprised to see she had not followed him in.
Qu Sheng had not said anything at the time, but her reaction and her terrifying expression on the way here had made it clear to him that she also disagreed with this marriage.
The author has something to say:
Qu Sheng: “The Jin family isn’t as good as mine. My family has good food and fun things.”
Lin Xizhao: “What good food and fun things?”
Qu Sheng: “Me! I’m delicious and fun. Of course, if you want to switch it around, that’s fine too. I’m okay with anything.”
Lin Xizhao: “…”
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