The Hand of Confession – Chapter 153

Volume 5: Days of Applying Makeup to Corpses

Extra Chapter—Gong Lian

Actually, I really didn’t want to write Gong Lian’s extra chapter.

Gong Lian had never been someone with her own opinions, ever since she was little.

Before her parents’ accident, she listened to them for everything; after their accident, she listened to her older brother for everything.

She was afraid of making changes, afraid of making choices, even hated talking to strangers.

So even knowing her brother only saw her as a burden, forced to raise her out of responsibility, she still didn’t want to leave this sole remaining relative—not because of familial affection, but because she was afraid of living alone in an unfamiliar environment.

If only I can find a good job, Brother won’t have to toil for two people anymore, and I can support him too…

That’s what she thought at the time.

Later, everything changed. The beginning of all her nightmares was that rare ten-day National Day¹ holiday.

Her brother said he wanted to take her traveling to relax. Although she felt some doubt in her heart, she didn’t overthink it, happily taking her luggage and boarding the train with him heading to Nancheng.

Later, in a small guesthouse in Nancheng, her brother used ether² to knock her out from behind, and she collapsed heavily onto the floor.

While semi-conscious, she heard her brother crying, saying sorry, saying he truly had no other way, he just wanted to live.

She wasn’t a qualified younger sister, so she hadn’t noticed her brother’s pale complexion or the muffled coughs he occasionally made while covering his mouth; he wasn’t a qualified older brother, so he was going to trade his sister for his own medical expenses.

“I’ve raised you for so long… spent so much money, now I just want to get a little of that money back, don’t blame me… Gong Lian, don’t blame me…”

Her beauty, her only source of pride, became her original sin. Locked to the bedside by that beast³, enduring degrading torment day and night⁴, she hated her brother, hated men, but hated herself even more.

She hated her own weakness, hated that she could only whimper and cry, hated that she didn’t even dare to commit suicide.

She wanted to live.

She also wanted desperately to escape.

But the man seemed to have nothing else to do, guarding her twenty-four hours a day. When he slept, he locked her tightly to the bedside, making it impossible for her to even stand up.

Later, she finally found a chance. After the man unlocked the chains, she used a stool to knock him unconscious. Then, after fumbling over his body for a long time without finding a phone, she could only run outside with all her might, thinking she’d figure out a plan once she got out. But she had barely run two steps out the door when other villagers intercepted her, restrained her, and sent her back to the man’s house.

It turned out that to prevent her from escaping and reporting to the police, the man had spread the word everywhere that she was his distant cousin who had suffered mental problems after being hurt by another man, seeing every man as a potential r%pist. The villagers didn’t know they were abetting an evildoer⁵, only thinking they were helping a madwoman return home…

Even if they might have doubted her identity, when choosing between a lone, helpless woman and a local village ruffian, anyone would know how to weigh the options.

The result of that escape attempt was brutal, so brutal that she could no longer muster the courage to escape.

But later, she did summon courage again—not the courage to escape, but the courage to commit suicide.

It was after she became pregnant.

She didn’t want this child to come into the world, so she chose to end her own life.

As the blood trickled out from the wound, bit by bit, fear began to grip her again.

She was still so young, yet her life was about to end here—her brother wanted to live, didn’t she want to live too?

She didn’t know whether it was fortune or sorrow, but she failed to die, and even the child was saved.

Perhaps this was fate?

She completely lost hope for everything that followed, numbly receiving all of fate’s gifts, regardless of whether those offerings were good or bad.

She was the one who gave the name Yaya⁶.

The man wanted a son, so after she gave birth to a daughter, he never came to see her again.

Looking at the tiny infant whose cries were so weak, she broke down sobbing, for her own fate, and for her daughter’s fate.

Yaya was the proof of her violation, a life unwelcome in this world. Yet, against everyone’s lack of expectation, she stubbornly survived, like a tenacious young sprout, bringing the hope of life.

She wanted to escape again, but she couldn’t abandon Yaya.

So she waited, waited for Yaya to grow up, waited until they could escape this cage together…

Unfortunately, because of Yaya, she failed again.

The man nearly broke her legs and said that for every time she tried to run, he would torture Yaya once.

That day, both she and Yaya cried for a long time. She completely extinguished the thought of escaping, but also became cold and indifferent.

It’s all this child’s fault.

When Yaya cried out in fear, when Yaya was beaten along with her, she would feel a kind of masochistic pleasure⁷. While her heart ached, she would coldly watch this girl who had crawled out of her own belly cry herself into a mess, then leave one purple pinch mark after another on her body.

She hated Yaya.

But she also loved Yaya.

When she became pregnant with her second child, the man planned to sell Yaya for money.

Was she going to let her own daughter live a life like hers?

She put on the red dress she had worn when she first arrived, dug out a bag of potent rat poison from the cabinet, intending to put it in the man’s food.

This time, either he died, or she would perish.

However, before she could administer the poison, she was pulled into a bizarre place.

Her retribution had finally come.

There were things there that she feared the most; her fear of those things even surpassed her fear of the man.

She died in the game. Her soul seemed to split into two parts—one part abandoned everything from the past and remained in the game, becoming a vengeful ghost with a completely reversed personality; the other part returned to reality, fed Yaya some pellets, told her before she fell asleep to go with two ‘sisters’ and the police, then took advantage of the man’s inattention to administer the poison.

Before she died, she wanted to personally drag the man down to hell with her.

She succeeded.

She watched him collapse, foaming at the mouth, two streams of hot tears flowing from her eyes, then turned without hesitation and walked away.

—She wanted to hold Yaya one last time, and also tell her she was sorry.

A sharp knife pierced her body from behind. Her eyes widened, lips trembling, and she slowly collapsed, unwilling to accept it.

This time, she was really dying. Her painful and short life flashed before her eyes like scenes in a revolving lantern⁸. Finally, she saw Yaya, who had just learned to speak, opening her mouth and calling her “Mama”.

That “sorry,” she would never be able to say it to her in person.

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The author has something to say:

Actually, I originally didn’t want to write out all the suffering Gong Lian endured, because I was afraid that after writing it, some people would say I was just writing angst for angst’s sake or something.

Later, because some little cuties raised questions, I decided I would write a Gong Lian extra chapter later, maybe put it in the group chat or something after the whole novel is finished. But then I worried many people would be too lazy to look for it and wouldn’t see it, so I could only put it here first.

I habitually follow the protagonist’s perspective, usually only writing what the protagonist sees. This results in too much blank space⁹ for supporting characters. I’ll try my best to pay more attention to this in the later plot!

Yaya’s situation in the previous chapter was revised slightly, she wasn’t adopted. Little cuties who haven’t seen it, remember to take another look. This extra chapter is something I really ground out¹⁰, it doesn’t count as a normal update. There will be a new chapter in a bit.

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