STT – Chapter 57

Please make sure you also find happiness.

In the elevator, Xu Baihan hunched her back and covered her face with both hands. Finally, she cried heart-wrenchingly, gasping for breath…

Why, why, why be so cruel, Yun Bo, Yun Bo…

On that journey, Xu Baihan did not call a cab. Alone, on the brightly lit yet extremely unfamiliar street, she pushed the wheelchair one step at a time, crying all the way back…

From Jiang Wang’s house to the Xu’s home, a distance of fifteen kilometers, Xu Baihan pushed for four hours to reach her destination. The skin on her palms was worn and bleeding, but she didn’t care in the slightest…

Late at night, past eleven, Xu Baihan finally returned to the Xu’s home.

At home, it was just as brightly lit, and Xu Baitao stood at the entrance waiting for her. Seeing her from afar, he rushed up and grabbed the wheelchair, nervously and urgently asking her, “Sister, where did you go? I called your phone, but you didn’t answer. What’s wrong? Did something happen?”

Xu Baihan quietly hid her worn-out hands, lowered her head, and didn’t let Xu Baitao see her red eyes. She softly comforted him, saying, “I’m fine, just wanted some quiet. Baitao, I’m a bit tired, please take me back to my room to rest. You should rest early, too.”

Xu Baitao’s hand tightly gripped the wheelchair as he bit his lip, looking down at the obviously exhausted and frail woman in front of him. He had a thousand words to say, but in the end, he just gently reached out and hugged her, warmly agreeing, “Okay, I’ll take you back.”

Jiang Wang had called him, asking him to pick up Xu Baihan, but he couldn’t find her. He knew everything that happened to his poor sister tonight, and his heart ached, yet he felt powerless…

Everything will pass. Sister, after tonight, can we start a new life? Xu Baitao pushed Xu Baihan back, looking down at her, silently praying for her in his heart.

That night, Xu Baihan sat by the window, looking up at the pitch-black night sky, watching the moon gradually descend, as the sky slowly, slowly brightened…

The night wind grew cooler and she became colder, so cold that she hugged herself, feeling inexplicably wronged and despairing, crying uncontrollably. In that moment, she felt helpless, clutching her chest tightly as if a blunt knife was stabbing her heart. Frantically, she grabbed her phone, scrolling through the contact list, desperately wanting to tell someone how sad and in pain she was, wishing someone could tell her not to be afraid, to hold on a little longer, that everything would be okay…

With tear-filled eyes, her hand passed over her father’s number, her mother’s, Baitao’s, Zizheng’s, Huaixi’s… but in the end, she put down the phone, leaving herself alone, abandoned in the darkness and silence.

As the night deepened, everyone slept, and she didn’t want to worry them.

Besides, everything will never get better again. Xu Baihan, stop deceiving yourself…

The moon gradually disappeared, and the sun slowly rose. Everything, under the shroud of dawn, was filled with vitality and hope, but Xu Baihan’s heart grew increasingly despairing and desolate…

The next day after breakfast, Xu Baihan suddenly smiled faintly and said to Xu Baitao, “Baitao, all entanglements between Yun Bo and me have ended. In the future, you need not blame yourself anymore; in our entanglements, you were never at fault.” She held Xu Baitao’s hand, looking at this big boy who, in her eyes, was always a child who grew up with her, and sincerely apologized, “I’m sorry for making you suffer with me all these years. I’m sorry that I didn’t tell you earlier that you were never at fault, making you blame yourself all these years, wronging you.”

Xu Baitao looked at Xu Baihan, and his eyes immediately reddened. His throat moved, and after a long time, he cried out loud, like a child, squatting down and hugging Xu Baihan’s legs, crying and shaking his head, saying, “Sister, I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I am not wronged. Sister, in the future, you must be well. Let this page turn over, and let our family all be well…”

Xu Baihan only gently and lovingly touched his head and did not answer him…

In the afternoon, after lunch, Xu Baihan insisted on returning to Juzhou.

After returning to Juzhou, those few days she suddenly changed her behavior completely. She put aside all her work and hobbies, rarely accompanying her mother to beauty salons and wellness clubs, making her mother extremely happy. At night, when Father Xu hadn’t returned from socializing, and Mother Xu was suffering from insomnia, unable to sleep, Xu Baihan voluntarily took a “Dream of the Red Chamber,” sat by her mother’s bedside, and said she would tell her a bedtime story to help her sleep, making Mother Xu smile broadly. After reading just two chapters of “Dream of the Red Chamber,” Mother Xu, lulled by her daughter’s gentle voice, fell into a peaceful sleep…

After her mother fell asleep, Xu Baihan watched her for a long time, and her eyes reddened involuntarily. She lowered her head and gently kissed her mother’s forehead, just as her mother had given her goodnight kisses to lull her to sleep many years ago. Silently in her heart, she said, “Mother, I’m sorry, I love you. Your unfilial daughter asks that you take good care of yourself in the future.”

In the living room, for the first time, she personally ironed a shirt and polished a pair of shoes for her father. When he returned, she offered him a cup of honey water to relieve him and massaged his temples, gently advising him, “Father, in the future, try to drink less. Health is most important. If you have time, come home early and spend more time with Mother. Without you by her side, she can’t sleep well…”

Father Xu smiled lovingly and touched Xu Baihan’s head with his large hand, gently agreeing with his daughter, “Okay, Father will listen to you.”

That night, after watching her father drag his tired figure from the living room to the bedroom, Xu Baihan sat blankly in the living room, looking at the family photo hanging on the wall for a long time. Finally, she slowly returned to her room and went to that dark room.

She took out her phone and, one by one, solemnly pressed the string of numbers for Jiang Wang’s phone number, which she knew by heart. Listening to the rhythmic beeping on the other end, her heart slowly felt a sense of calm, as if the dust had settled.

The call was finally connected, and Jiang Wang’s deep, pleasant voice came through: “Hello…”

Xu Baihan relaxed her body, leaned back in the wheelchair, and looked up at the wall in the room filled with images of Jiang Wang’s every smile and frown: “Yun Bo, it’s me.”

On the other end, Jiang Wang only faintly responded: “Mm.”

Xu Baihan’s voice was indifferent, seemingly carrying a question: “You said we must settle everything between us, right? Yun Bo, what I owed you, I have repaid with my two legs and twelve years of waiting, haven’t I?”

Jiang Wang was silent for a moment before responding to her: “Right, Xu Baihan, you owe me nothing.”

Xu Baihan suddenly let out a low laugh, a laugh that inexplicably made Jiang Wang feel somewhat uneasy. Sure enough, after that low laugh, Xu Baihan calmly yet aggressively said: “But, Jiang Wang, you still owe me, owe me one night. You want things settled, right? Then fine, repay me! In the future, we truly won’t owe each other anything, and I won’t entangle myself with you anymore, I mean what I say.”

Jiang Wang silently held the phone, and after a long time, hung up the call. Xu Baihan only heard the cold busy tone from the phone. She closed her eyes and leaned back against the wheelchair, her face full of fatigue.

She knew that Jiang Wang would ultimately compromise.

At midnight, she received a text message from Jiang Wang, simply containing the word “okay.” It was clearly the result she wanted, the expected answer, yet Xu Baihan couldn’t smile at all.

Jiang Wang’s colleagues were once again shocked; it was the second time this month that Dr. Jiang had taken leave. During the ten-minute lunch break, the nurses couldn’t help but gossip, wondering if good news was coming for Jiang Wang, their minds wandering…

As for Jiang Wang, she was already in the Xu family’s car with Xu Baihan, heading together to the resort where they had once shared beautiful memories.

Throughout the journey, both Jiang Wang and Xu Baihan remained silent. Xu Baihan turned her head to look at the scenery outside the window, maintaining a calm demeanor, while Jiang Wang wore earplugs, listened to music, and slightly closed her eyes, her face showing indifference and distance.

After more than three hours of driving, perhaps due to the quiet boredom or sheer exhaustion, Xu Baihan finally couldn’t resist and closed her eyes, falling asleep.

Jiang Wang unintentionally turned her head and caught sight of Xu Baihan’s peacefully sleeping face, and in that moment, she found herself unable to look away, staring blankly.

Xu Baihan was truly as beautiful as she had been years ago when she first moved her heart, yet she was also truly much more haggard.

Jiang Wang’s fists gradually clenched, and after hesitating for a long time, she couldn’t resist the impulse to care for her. She took off the thin shirt draped over her short sleeves and gently placed it on Xu Baihan’s body.

At the moment her hands fell, Xu Baihan opened her eyes. In the instant their eyes met, Jiang Wang couldn’t retract her concerned gaze or hand’s action, while Xu Baihan looked at her, a faint smile flashed in her eyes, but it quickly turned to bitterness and regret. Xu Baihan said nothing, finally just hugging tightly the shirt Jiang Wang had draped over her and closing her eyes again, her brows slightly knitted into an indelible bitterness.

Before sunset, they finally arrived at the resort villa where they once often stayed. Jiang Wang got out of the car and looked at the familiar villa and lush bushes. For a moment, she was somewhat dazed, as if she vaguely saw two young girls, fingers intertwined, talking and laughing as they came and went…

Beside her, Xu Baihan gently spoke, “It hasn’t changed here at all, has it?” She let out a light, bitter laugh and said, “It’s a pity we’ve both changed.” After speaking, she pushed herself forward and turned her head to Jiang Wang, saying, “Come in. Actually, the inside has changed a little.”

Jiang Wang’s steps involuntarily grew heavier.

The furnishings inside the house had indeed changed a lot, clearly having been newly renovated. In terms of layout, the living room had become slightly smaller, partitioning off a kitchen, with a wine cabinet added beside it. The overall color scheme was the warm yellow that Jiang Wang liked, elegant yet cozy. The hallway from the first floor to the second was filled with photos, and with just one glance, Jiang Wang saw that they were full of her and Xu Baihan.

It seemed to have become more like a long-term residence, rather than a temporary hotel stay.

Xu Baihan smiled faintly at Jiang Wang and said: “Do you like it? You once said that in the future you wanted to buy a big house, with a kitchen, a wine cabinet, decorated in a cozy warm yellow, so that as soon as you came home you’d feel warm. Then, if you could marry a beautiful and virtuous wife, with a golden house to hide her, you’d have no regrets in life. On my eighteenth birthday, I asked my father for this house as my coming-of-age gift. Later, when I worked, I gradually decorated it into what I imagined you might like. Yun Bo, is this what your imagined home looked like back then?”

Xu Baihan left out a sentence and did not say that back then, after Jiang Wang had finished saying, “if I could marry a beautiful and virtuous wife, with a golden house to hide her, I’d have no regrets in life,” Yun Bo embraced her and softly asked in her ear: “Baihan, do I have the fortune to marry you home?”

Recalling the past scene, Jiang Wang instantly froze, her body rigid as she steadily looked at Xu Baihan, who quietly gazed back at her. After a long time, Jiang Wang gave a slight smile and responded, “I really like it.”

Xu Baihan also smiled, with genuine joy in her eyes and at the corners of her mouth: “That’s great…”

Dinner was prepared personally by Xu Baihan, and when Jiang Wang saw she was not very convenient, she wanted to help. However, Xu Baihan stubbornly refused, uncharacteristically serious and righteously said, “You must give me a chance to prove that if someone marries me in the future, they certainly won’t be starved to death by me.”

Jiang Wang stood aside, watching Xu Baihan skillfully move about, inexplicably feeling a sourness in her nose, as if tears were about to fall.

Back then, she once laughed at Xu Baihan for being unskilled and not lifting a finger, saying that if she married her, she didn’t know if she’d be starved to death. Xu Baihan at that time just smiled back and said, “If you’re so afraid, then don’t marry me.”

A joke, she thought Xu Baihan would never take to heart. But she never imagined that Xu Baihan would remember it so seriously for so many years.

By the time dinner officially began, the sky was completely dark. Only a few dim, warm candle lights were left on the dining table, creating a quiet yet ambiguous atmosphere.

The long table was filled with delicious and beautifully presented dishes, each one a favorite of Jiang Wang.

Jiang Wang never knew that Xu Baihan had so carefully remembered her preferences, nor did she know that Xu Baihan had taken such care to understand her.

In the hazy light, Jiang Wang saw Xu Baihan with a faint smile, raising her glass to her, saying, “Yun Bo, with this glass, I thank you for letting me wait for you.” After speaking, she raised her glass and drank it all in one go.

Afterward, she raised her glass to her a second time: “Yun Bo, with this glass, I apologize to you for all my past betrayals.” After speaking, she once again drank it all in one go.

For the third glass, Xu Baihan said: “Yun Bo, with this glass, I wish you a happy birthday.” She tilted her head back and drank all the wine in the glass, then took out a delicately packaged small box, pushed it to Jiang Wang, and said: “Happy birthday, Yun Bo. This is the first version of the reply letter I once wrote to you but never sent, and the letters I have written to you over these years. I am giving them to you as a birthday gift, as an end to everything. Yun Bo, from now on, without me interfering and disrupting your life, please make sure to be happy.”

Jiang Wang tightly clasped the box with both hands, her eyes deeply fixed on Xu Baihan, whose voice was somewhat choked yet always smiling. Finally, she raised her hand, poured herself some wine, raised her glass, drank it all in one go, and replied to Xu Baihan: “Please, you must also be happy.”

Xu Baihan simply looked at her with a sad smile, neither nodding nor shaking her head, quietly and gently gazing at her.

This meal turned out to be unexpectedly long and warm. Xu Baihan no longer spoke of their past; instead, she was very interested in inquiring about Jiang Wang’s university life and hospital work and also shared her own university anecdotes with Jiang Wang. When Jiang Wang found something interesting, she would also ask a few questions. With fine wine and good food, amidst beautiful times and scenery, it was a gathering where both guest and host enjoyed themselves.

After finishing dinner, Jiang Wang stood up proactively, cleared the bowls and chopsticks, and went into the kitchen to wash them. Her silhouette was stretched long by the light, and Xu Baihan stepped on her shadow, silently sitting at the doorway watching her, her gaze deep as water.

Jiang Wang stood straight, her hand movements unhurried, as serious as if she were performing surgery, never once distracted or looking back.

After a long time, Xu Baihan gently informed Jiang Wang: “I’ll go to the bedroom to bathe first. When you’re done, you can use the guest room’s bathroom to bathe. I’ll help you get the change of clothes ready.”

Jiang Wang’s hand movements paused slightly, and she faintly responded: “Okay, thank you.”

Xu Baihan smiled gently, turned around, and left.

Jiang Wang finished her bath in the bathroom, slightly dried her hair, then turned off the light and prepared to go out.

She held the bathroom doorknob, her expression obscure and hard to read, quietly standing at the door for a long time. She took a deep breath, then turned the doorknob and walked out with heavy steps.

All around was darkness, except for that room in the corner, where a long shadow of light was cast from the half-closed door.

Jiang Wang approached the room step by step, her heartbeat beginning to steadily accelerate. She understood what opening this door meant.

Inside the room, only a small lamp beside the bed was on. Xu Baihan, wearing a thin nightgown, sat leaning on the bed, calmly flipping through a book. Seeing Jiang Wang with half-wet hair standing at the door, Xu Baihan’s lips showed a gentle smile, and with a gentle smile, she lightly scolded: “Still so lazy, always not drying your hair before going to sleep. Being a doctor yourself, don’t you know this way can easily cause headaches later?”

Jiang Wang was momentarily dazed, looking at Xu Baihan on the bed, as if she had returned to that night many years ago when she unexpectedly walked into Xu Baihan’s bedroom and saw her just after a bath, wearing only a thin dress. Her heartbeat, her heart moved inexplicably.

Seeing her without a reaction, Xu Baihan smiled and playfully scolded: “Go to the bathroom and bring the hairdryer in, I’ll help you blow it dry.”

Looking at Xu Baihan’s smiling face, Jiang Wang finally faintly smiled as well, obeyed, and did as she was told.

Jiang Wang sat at the edge of the bed, her back facing Xu Baihan. Xu Baihan sat up straight, holding the hairdryer in one hand and gently loosening Jiang Wang’s long hair with the other, gently drying it for her.

The hairdryer buzzed loudly, inexplicably. Yet Jiang Wang still felt, as Xu Baihan’s fingers gently passed through her hair, lightly touching her scalp, her own heartbeat gradually speeding up, as if it was about to jump out of her chest.

She felt the hairdryer gradually slip down, and Xu Baihan’s fingers began to move restlessly, slowly inching downward from her hair, lightly touching and sliding over her neck, back, and waist, making her whole body tremble, restless and anxious…

Jiang Wang tried hard to restrain herself but finally couldn’t help it. She turned around, reached out, and firmly pressed Xu Baihan against the headboard, knelt up, leaned over, and dominantly kissed Xu Baihan…

The hairdryer finally slipped powerlessly from Xu Baihan’s hand to the floor, the plug detaching from the socket with a loud noise…

Xu Baihan looked at Jiang Wang’s enlarged affectionate face before her, her eyebrows and eyes slightly curved, indulging her wild and domineering kiss, reaching out to embrace Jiang Wang’s neck, allowing her to nibble and bite, prying open her lips and teeth, conquering…

Jiang Wang dared not recall how many times over the years she had dreamt of and longed for Xu Baihan’s lips in the middle of the night. Now, she finally had to admit that she longed for Xu Baihan, longed to the point of madness…

She kissed Xu Baihan’s lips frantically, disregarding the consequences, her teeth clashing against Xu Baihan’s as she greedily sought to taste her sweetness. Xu Baihan could only tilt her head back, her face flushed red, softly moaning as she gently soothed the other woman’s ardent passion, their lips and tongues intertwining.

Jiang Wang used one hand to grasp Xu Baihan’s head, the other hand moving down to tenderly caress the softness of Xu Baihan’s chest. Xu Baihan instantly melted into Jiang Wang’s embrace, her body growing sensitive to the touch.

Clothes were gradually shed and scattered on the floor as Jiang Wang kissed down Xu Baihan’s shoulders, nipping and sucking at her collarbone and soft skin. One hand intertwined with Xu Baihan’s, pressing against the headboard, while the other hand ventured lower, exploring the intimate depths.

Xu Baihan clung tightly to Jiang Wang’s waist and back, her body tense, head tilted back as she let out muffled cries, both longing and pained: “Yun Bo… Yun Bo…”

As Jiang Wang’s movements quickened, she felt Xu Baihan’s body growing more taut and trembling with impending release. Raising her head, Jiang Wang shifted her body upward, gently kissing Xu Baihan as her hand picked up speed, Xu Baihan’s cries muffled by their intertwined mouths.

As Xu Baihan neared her peak, she clung tightly to Jiang Wang’s back. Jiang Wang heard her trembling, stammering pleas: “Yun Bo, say you love me, please say it one more time that you love me…”

Jiang Wang responded by silently kissing her, continuing the motions that were driving Xu Baihan towards climax.

However, Xu Baihan’s gaze, though hazy and unfocused, stubbornly turned her head to avoid Jiang Wang’s kiss. She grabbed the hand that was thrusting within her, forcibly pulling herself back from the brink of release.

Jiang Wang saw the pained, sorrowful look in Xu Baihan’s eyes, brimming with unshed tears. Filled with tenderness and concern, she chased after Xu Baihan’s lips, kissing her deeply as she plunged back into her body in one swift motion.

As Xu Baihan’s entire body trembled like a fallen leaf in the wind, Jiang Wang whispered in her ear, confessing: “Xu Baihan, I love you, I love you…”

Xu Baihan’s dazed gaze cleared slightly at these words, and tears spilled from the corners of her eyes.

Jiang Wang gently kissed away Xu Baihan’s tears, even as she continued the movements that were driving Xu Baihan towards her peak. As the afterglow began to subside, Jiang Wang quickened her pace once more. The still-sensitive Xu Baihan finally pleaded in a hoarse voice, “Yun Bo, no more, no more…”

But Jiang Wang had no intention of stopping. She sat astride Xu Baihan’s waist, leaning down to kiss the soft, pale skin of Xu Baihai’s chest. One hand continued its wanton exploration of Xu Baihan’s body, while the other grasped Xu Baihai’s hand, pressing it against her own body.

“Baihan,” Jiang Wang said, “I’ve repaid the debt I owed you for that night.”

Xu Baihan’s body was already sore and weak from the stimulation, and she stammered weakly, “No, ah, don’t…” Struggling to withdraw her hand from Jiang Wang’s grip, she could only watch helplessly as Jiang Wang slowly lowered herself, feeling Xu Baihan’s fingers sink into her warm, moist softness. Jiang Wang paused momentarily, letting out a muffled low moan.

Xu Baihan, flustered and overwhelmed, still managed to ask anxiously, “Yun Bo, does it hurt? Yun Bo, please take it out…”

Jiang Wang laughed out loud, tears sliding down her cheeks. “How wonderful, Xu Baihan. From now on, we truly owe each other nothing more.”

Xu Baihan was struck dumb, as if hit on the head with a blunt object. Yun Bo, do you really want to be rid of me like this?

Jiang Wang did not pause, her thighs clamping tightly around Xu Baihan’s hand as she felt the fullness within Xu Baihan’s body. Accelerating the movement of her fingers, she drove Xu Baihan towards another peak, heedless of the other woman’s resistance.

In the throes of ecstasy, Xu Baihan cried out, biting Jiang Wang’s shoulder as she hoarsely exclaimed, “Yun Bo, I… I hate you!”

Jiang Wang remained silent. As Xu Baihan began to calm, she launched a new wave of assault.

In the end, Xu Baihan could no longer endure, losing consciousness amidst the wave after wave of pleasure.

When Jiang Wang woke, it was already mid-afternoon. She turned her head, only to find the space beside her empty.

Getting up, Jiang Wang noticed that clean change of clothes had been prepared for her on the bed.

By the time Jiang Wang finished washing and dressing, upon leaving the bedroom, she saw Xu Baihan sitting at the entrance of the dining room, waiting for her. Seeing Jiang Wang emerge, Xu Baihan greeted her with a small smile, her voice hoarse as she said, “Come in and have a meal.”

Jiang Wang couldn’t help but feel a twinge of remorse as she noticed Xu Baihan’s swollen, reddened lips and the disheveled state of her fair neck – clear evidence of Jiang Wang’s unrestrained actions.

Having just finished eating, Jiang Wang hesitated for a long time, wanting to apologize to Xu Baihan for last night’s rudeness. However, Xu Baihan spoke first: “Yun Bo, I’ve instructed the driver to wait outside. You should go back. In the future, if you move forward in your own life, never look back again.”

She continued, “Yun Bo, you must, must be happy.”

Jiang Wang gazed at Xu Baihan for a long time but ultimately could not say anything. Wasn’t this the outcome she wanted? Then let it be this way.

With her body still somewhat sore, she walked heavily step by step toward the exit, about to leave Xu Baihan’s world.

Suddenly, she heard Xu Baihan call her back. Turning around, she saw Xu Baihan smiling like a flower, just as she had on their first meeting, warm and radiant like the sun.

Her voice was still as gentle as ever as she said, “Yun Bo, goodbye.”

Jiang Wang’s pupils constricted; she knew that in this life, she would find it hard to forget this smiling face.

In Xu Baihan’s email inbox, a timed email sent to Lu Zizheng quietly lay: “Zizheng, at the end of the story, I still did not wait for her. However, I had a beautiful dream where she said she still loves me.

She is no longer here, and I am going to find her. Let the story end where it first began. Do not be sad or heartbroken for me; I am leaving very happily.

Please, you must also be happy.”

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LP: I’m sorry for the inconsistent updates lately. My nose allergy has been flaring up more than usual for the past weeks. If I didn’t update tomorrow or the following days, just know that my allergy is acting up.

Re-translated on September 23, 2024

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