STT – Chapter 13

Who Said I Have a Date with Her Tonight?

On the eve of Christmas, December 24th, the streets seemed more crowded than usual, with images of Santa Claus everywhere and mountains of apples stacked up in supermarkets.

For single people, there is no particular feeling or special anticipation for such a holiday. When Lu Zizheng entered the translation agency early in the morning, she saw her female colleagues receiving bouquets after bouquets of flowers, their smiles brighter than the flowers themselves.

Those who received flowers basked in the envious glances and teasing of other colleagues, casually revealing their evening dates and plans. Lu Zizheng, however, never joined in on the excitement, indifferently focusing on her work. She did not envy them, and she could not pretend to be envious just to fit in.

Even though she maintained extreme silence to show her disinterest in the topic, someone still wouldn’t let her off.

After Zhang Li, a colleague, finished discussing and expressing her envy, she walked past Lu Zizheng’s desk on her way back to her own and, with a tone of grievance, asked, “Zizheng, it looks like we’re the only ones here without flowers or dates, all lonely and pitiful. I have a friend organizing a dinner party tonight, are you interested in joining?”

Lu Zizheng didn’t usually interact much with Zhang Li, but she knew that Zhang Li often gossiped about her behind her back.

She politely smiled and declined, “No, thank you, Sister Zhang. I have plans with my mother tonight.”

No sooner had she finished speaking than a deliveryman walked in with a large bouquet of red roses. Seeing the nameplate on Lu Zizheng’s desk, he headed straight over for her to sign for the flowers.

With a frown, Lu Zizheng signed for the bouquet. There was no card attached to the flowers. The large bunch of vibrant red roses was arranged in the shape of an apple, fitting perfectly with the theme of Christmas Eve.

Zhang Li let out a sarcastic chuckle and said with a touch of acidity, “Oh, it seems I was worried for nothing. How could you be spending the holiday alone, Zizheng?” She swayed away, feigning to talk to herself loudly enough for everyone in the office to hear, “I think General Manager Wang is coming back today…” Although she pretended to be talking to herself, her voice was loud enough for everyone in the office to hear. The chatter about Lu Zizheng’s roses instantly ceased, and the office fell silent for a moment.

Lu Zizheng furrowed her brows as she watched Zhang Li’s retreating figure. She took a deep breath, reminding herself not to stoop to Zhang Li’s level. She had long been aware that Zhang Li and some other gossip-loving colleagues were spreading rumors about her having an improper relationship with the translation agency’s general manager, which was why she always got the good assignments.

Over the years, rumors had never left her side. Lu Zizheng had come to understand that you can’t silence other people’s mouths. She accepted this, so she neither fought nor argued and pretended she had never heard anything.

Some things, as long as you know them yourself, are enough. Those who trust you don’t need explanations, and those who don’t trust you don’t need them even more.

However, she genuinely couldn’t figure out who had sent the flowers.

It certainly wouldn’t be Jiang Huaixi. Despite knowing each other for so many years and receiving many gifts from her, she had never given her flowers. Even if she were to send flowers, based on her understanding of Jiang Huaixi, she definitely wouldn’t send red roses.

The range of suspects was too broad, so Lu Zizheng decided to drop it, as her curiosity was always limited. She casually set the flowers aside and continued with her work.

During her lunch break, she received a call from Jiang Huaixi.

Seeing the name “Huaixi” flashing on her phone screen, Lu Zizheng felt an inexplicable mix of anxiety and indescribable anticipation. However, she quickly calmed herself down with rationality.

Jiang Huaixi invited her to dinner the next evening. Despite the special occasion of Christmas, Jiang Huaixi didn’t provide any reason for the invitation, nor did she exchange any pleasantries. It seemed like a perfectly ordinary meal.

Naturally, Lu Zizheng didn’t ask her about the flowers. She agreed to the invitation, thinking that the gift she had prepared needed to be given anyway.

Just as she hung up the phone and put it back into her bag, it rang again.

Lu Zizheng’s heart skipped a beat.

However, when she took out her phone, she saw that the caller was Xu Baihan. She silently mocked herself for her inexplicable anticipation.

Xu Baihan mentioned that it had been a long time since they last met and asked when she would return to Juzhou to meet up.

Lu Zizheng felt a bit troubled; she currently had no plans to go back. Ever since her mother moved from Juzhou to Linzhou, she had not set foot in Juzhou again. It wasn’t so much that she was unwilling to return to Juzhou, but rather, she was afraid to go back. She feared encountering familiar faces there, feared recalling the unbearable memories, and feared being trapped once again in those haunting nightmares.

Xu Baihan sensed her hesitation. Being naturally empathetic, she didn’t make things difficult for Lu Zizheng or insist. Instead, she switched the topic and sighed, “The new year is almost here. Time really flies.”

Lu Zizheng stood by the window, looking down at the endless stream of cars on the road and the hurried pedestrians below. She sighed, “It passes so quickly that nothing seems to be left behind.”

Xu Baihan chuckled softly on the other end of the phone and comforted her, “Zizheng, you always like to look back. What’s past is past. What you should focus on is how to seize this new beginning.” She paused and then said, “As long as there’s time, it means there’s hope, isn’t it?”

Finally, the winter sun moved to shine directly on Lu Zizheng, passing through the clear glass window and enveloping her with its warm, comforting light.

“As long as there’s time, there’s hope.” That year, Xu Baihan had said the same thing to her.

In her second year of high school, after transferring schools, Lu Zizheng found herself returning to the familiar melancholy of those past years. As a transfer student, she sat alone in the last row of the classroom, never initiating conversations with her classmates unless absolutely necessary, retreating back into her own solitary world.

During free activity time in PE class, she sat alone in the stands of the playground, watching classmates playing in small groups, watching figures hand in hand, chatting and laughing as they walked into the distance. She couldn’t help but feel a deep sorrow welling up inside her.

Lian Xuan disappeared from her sight so effortlessly, but for Lu Zizheng, trapped in her memories, how could she extricate herself with such ease?

She wandered aimlessly out of the playground. In such a vast space, she felt her loneliness and insignificance even more acutely, unable to find even a tiny bit of belonging or sense of presence for herself.

Not far from the playground, beside a grassy field, was a clear lake. Under the sunlight, its glittering waves caught her attention.

Lu Zizheng walked step by step across the grassy field. She lowered her head and saw her lifeless face clearly reflected in the rippling water. She attempted to smile at herself, but found that she seemed to have forgotten how to move those muscles. No matter how she tried to smile, it looked sorrowful.

Her shoes were already soaked by the lake water, bringing a slight, pleasant coolness that eased her aching nerves. Lu Zizheng numbly wondered if dipping her calves into the water might be even more comfortable. So, she took a few more steps forward.

Suddenly, a gentle female voice from behind startled Lu Zizheng awake: “If your pants get wet, it won’t be very comfortable.”

It was as if Lu Zizheng had just woken up from a dream. She looked down at her already wet pant legs and then back at the lake shore, which now seemed quite far away. For a moment, she couldn’t remember how she had ended up in the lake.

She was frightened by her own actions, her heart pounding rapidly. Hastily, she turned around and walked back to the shore.

On the grassy field by the shore sat a girl about the same age as Lu Zizheng. Her features were delicate, her face gentle, and she possessed a calm and serene demeanor seldom seen in young people. She looked at Lu Zizheng with warmth and concern in her eyes, something Lu Zizheng had not encountered from strangers in a long time.

She wheeled herself over to Lu Zizheng’s side, raising her head to gaze gently at her.

Her voice was soft and tender, her smile warming, but her words carried an inexplicable chill: “Sometimes, I too wonder if it feels comfortable in the water.”

Lu Zizheng bit her lip as she looked at the girl, unable to move her feet.

Xu Baihan, however, reached out and took Lu Zizheng’s hand, placing it on her own weak legs resting on the wheelchair. She let out a light laugh and said, “But in the end, I still can’t bear it. Can’t bear to leave, can’t bear to give up.”

Lu Zizheng’s hand, placed on Xu Baihan’s legs, trembled uncontrollably. It was a mix of panic and shame.

Xu Baihan said, “I don’t know what has happened to you or how unhappy you are. But think about it, when you still have your legs to walk through the mud with effort, some people don’t have legs and yet they crawl without giving up moving forward. What right do you have to be more fragile or more cowardly than these people?”

Lu Zizheng crouched down, burying her head into her knees.

Xu Baihan reached out her hand, gently patting Lu Zizheng on the shoulder and then touching her head. Her movements were gentle and warm, and her voice soothing and pleasant: “As long as there is time, there is hope. As long as life still gives you a glimmer of hope, you should not easily despair.”

She gently lifted Lu Zizheng’s head, looking at her with a warm gaze, and smiled as she said, “Xu Baihan, my name is Xu Baihan. Let’s be friends.”

Lu Zizheng stared at Xu Baihan for a long time before softly responding, “Lu Zizheng, my name is Lu Zizheng.”

Xu Baihan beamed brightly and called her warmly, “Zizheng, what a beautiful name…” She then blinked and made a request, “Zizheng, the grass here is too tall, making it difficult to move the wheelchair. Can you help me push it along the path ahead?”

Lu Zizheng, of course, did not refuse. Without saying a word, she pushed Xu Baihan away from the lakeside.

Later, Xu Baihan became the only true friend in Lu Zizheng’s life. This was, of course, before Jiang Huaixi had yet to earn the status of a qualified friend.

The words Xu Baihan had said to her, “As long as there is time, there is hope,” were always remembered by Lu Zizheng. In the latter half of their second year of high school, most of her free time was spent with Xu Baihan. Whenever she saw Xu Baihan’s fearless smile towards life, Lu Zizheng felt ashamed, which in turn pushed her to face her challenges bravely. In a sense, Xu Baihan became her spiritual mentor.

They never shared their pasts with each other, yet Lu Zizheng could vaguely sense the sorrow in Xu Baihan, and Xu Baihan always understood her pessimism. During the most difficult times, Xu Baihan offered her the most precious kindness, rekindling in her a small spark of hope for this world full of malice.

And so, Lu Zizheng always felt grateful to Xu Baihan.

In a moment of soft-heartedness, Lu Zizheng promised Xu Baihan, “If I come back to visit you during the spring break, will you give me a big red envelope?” [Note: In Chinese culture, a “red envelope” (红包, hóngbāo) is traditionally filled with money and given during special occasions as a gesture of good luck and blessing.]

Xu Baihan laughed heartily and promised, “I will definitely give you an extra-large red envelope, and, as a bonus, an amazing story package.”

Lu Zizheng asked in confusion, “What’s a story package?”

Xu Baihan, however, teased her with a hint of mystery: “If you want to know, remember to come find me.”

Lu Zizheng felt an inexplicable sense of unease in her heart.

Xu Baihan seemed to be in a very good mood and, just before ending the call, didn’t forget to tease Lu Zizheng: “When you meet Huaixi tonight, do me a favor and say hi for me. Tell her to keep up the hard work in the new year and wish her success soon.”

Lu Zizheng argued, “Who said I have a date with her tonight?!”

Xu Baihan, however, understood perfectly and replied, “So are you telling me that you won’t be seeing Huaixi tonight?”

Lu Zizheng, who couldn’t lie, fell silent.

Xu Baihan sighed: “Sometimes I just don’t understand what you two are being so awkward about. Remember, ‘Every inch of time is worth an inch of gold’—cherish it.”

Lu Zizheng gave a faint smile.

How could she not know the value of time and the cruelty of years? Perhaps it was precisely because they both understood this too well.

LP: Re-translated on July 20, 2024