So I Had No Choice But to Stop Being the White Moonlight – Chapter 83

I’m Not Going to Be the White Moonlight

Jealousy

“Ah Qian.”

The lake wind stirred, and Yuan Ming’s¹ voice, peaceful and gentle, wrapped itself in the breeze.

That familiar address seemed to instantly pull Chi Qian back three years. But the lake water, rippled by the wind, was not the ocean’s tide; when it pushed against the shore, it only gently dampened the soil.

And so, upon hearing that familiar name, Chi Qian froze completely.

The tongue depressor used for the examination was still in her mouth, forcing it open. In her upturned gaze, Yuan Ming was still smiling at her with that same gentleness.

But at this moment, her non-aggressive expression was not enough to put a person at ease.

In that instant, a thousand theories flashed through Chi Qian’s mind, the most prominent being that Yuan Ming was trying to trick her.

Perhaps she just thought Chi Qian looked too much like her past self and was using this name to test her.

If, when facing Shi Jinlan, Chi Qian still had to wrestle with whether she was the “Chi Qian” in her heart, then for Yuan Ming, she truly was no longer that “Chi Qian.”

The sun grew more vicious. Its unfiltered light shone directly across the lake, and the shimmering waves were like ten thousand arrows released at once,² piercing toward Chi Qian.

The guilt she carried in this world was once again pushed to the forefront.

She was not the original owner of this body.

And to this day, she still had no idea where the original had gone.

As Chi Qian posed the question in her heart, Yuan Ming’s calm voice sounded.

“You are Ah Qian, aren’t you? Are you still trying to hide it from me?”

Yuan Ming’s gaze swept lightly over Chi Qian’s wrist. “Ah Qian, your bracelet has already given you away.”

This was the first time someone other than Shi Jinlan had noticed the silver bracelet³ on her wrist.

Chi Qian twisted her wrist unnaturally, her forced-upward gaze filled with astonishment.

A clear breeze brushed past, lifting the long, loose hair.

The dark brown collar encircling that fair neck was faintly visible.

Yuan Ming’s eyes paused. Seemingly noticing that she had been keeping Chi Qian in this uncomfortable position, she gently caressed her chin with a long finger before withdrawing the tongue depressor from her mouth after a few seconds. “All done.”

Her movements were gentle and natural. As she spoke, she lifted her other hand.

Those slender fingers landed unhurriedly on the side of Chi Qian’s face—warm, soft, and gently massaging the jaw joint that had been held still for quite a while. “Thank you for your trouble.”

The sunlight hanging in the dome of the sky beat down, and the lake water seemed to carry the scent of the sea.

Chi Qian’s upturned head suddenly stilled. She felt a little slow, a persistent feeling that the fingers touching her cheek were familiar, as if at some unknown time in the past, she had been treated this way after every check-up.

A child’s tender cheek pressed against a short finger, a single poke creating a dimple.

Two small figures sat side by side, giggling at the sight.

The image flashed through her mind, and Chi Qian felt that something was not quite right with her head.

What a strange feeling of immersion. Why is there a memory of a child?

“Doctor Yuan, I’m really not…” Hearing Yuan Ming’s earlier words, Chi Qian desperately wanted to clarify that this bracelet wasn’t hers; she had no idea where the Main System had gotten it to put on her.

“Not Ah Qian?”

Yuan Ming didn’t wait for Chi Qian to finish, simply asking the question in a light tone.

Her voice was calm, and her gentle expression seemed to have long since confirmed that this Chi Qian was that Chi Qian.

As she spoke, Yuan Ming reached out and lifted Chi Qian’s wrist.

Her long fingers carefully traced the silver-etched bracelet, thoughtful and lost in a sea of emotions. She asked softly, “Then how do you explain this bracelet being on your hand?”

“You’ve worn it since you were a child. Later, as you grew up, the bracelet became too small, so Teacher took out the family’s ancestral silver to add a few liang to it. He melted the old one down and forged an identical new one.”

“You loved this bracelet. If it weren’t for the school’s rules in high school, you would never have taken it off.”

Speaking of this, Yuan Ming sounded a little regretful. She held Chi Qian’s wrist, studying it for a long moment. “And once you took it off, it was gone for years. I never saw you wear it again, until now, when it has reappeared on your wrist.”

Listening to Yuan Ming’s words, Chi Qian’s eyes were wide with astonishment.

She never could have imagined that this bracelet, the one that had nearly killed her, was originally her own.

No, it belonged to the original.

But if this thing was from this world, how did the Main System get it?

And why did it give it to her after the mission was complete?

What was the secret of this bracelet…

The cicadas chirped piercingly. A few heavy clouds pressed down from the sky, obscuring the glaring daylight.

Chi Qian’s gaze was heavy and obscure as she stared at the bracelet on her wrist, her suspicion of the Main System growing.

What is the Main System planning?

The questions facing Chi Qian were mounting, but the most immediate one was how to explain her death to Yuan Ming.

But then, she heard the words “feigned death”⁴ from Yuan Ming’s lips, completing the lie for her. “Ah Qian, where have you been all these years? Why did you have to feign death?”

“Don’t you know how heartbroken and guilty Teacher was because you left? He always felt that he didn’t take good care of you. Don’t you miss him?” Yuan Ming’s gaze was sincere and genuine as she looked at Chi Qian, a hint of loneliness in her gentle eyes.

Chi Qian’s heart ached.

In that mission, the person she had wronged the most, besides Shi Jinlan, was Chi Qingyan.⁵

He had saved her on a cold night and endured hardship and drank bitterness⁶ to raise her, only for the system to forcibly commandeer his granddaughter’s body.

In the end, this body wasn’t even cherished; it was thrown off a cliff, its body smashed to pieces.⁷

A delayed wave of emotion slowly spread up Chi Qian’s arm, allowing her to recover a few threads of forcibly forgotten memories.

She thought that since she would be living in this world from now on, perhaps she could reunite with her Grandpa.

She wasn’t an orphan, after all.

She still had the Grandpa who had depended on her as she had on him.

Seeing the flicker of emotion in Chi Qian’s expression, Yuan Ming added another lure. “Ah Qian, the island has changed so much. Auntie Zhou’s inn has been expanded, and Teacher’s house has been renovated. Don’t you want to go back to the island and see?”

“Going back is…” Chi Qian hesitated.

She did want to go back and see.

Even though it wasn’t technically her hometown, she felt an inexplicable sense of belonging there.

“Who.”

Abruptly, Yuan Ming’s voice grew heavy.

Her eyes were vigilant. The pupils that were once gentle and dark now seemed to gather thousands of ice shards, cold and sharp, ready to be unleashed.

Chi Qian was still lost and confused, not understanding why Yuan Ming’s expression had changed so suddenly.

She followed Yuan Ming’s gaze and saw nothing but a willow tree in the distance, its long, green fronds trailing on the water’s surface, swaying quietly with the wind…

Then, a hand as fair as jade gathered a handful of the hanging willow branches and emerged from a sun-dappled spot.

A long gust of wind pushed a wave across the lake. Just from seeing that hand holding the willow branch, Chi Qian instantly recognized the person Yuan Ming was treating with such hostility.

“Me.”

Shi Jinlan appeared unhurriedly, her eyes calm and distant, fixed directly on Yuan Ming.

“Miss Shi.” Yuan Ming immediately composed herself, her expression returning to its usual gentle peace. “Weren’t you at the company?”

“It ended early,” Shi Jinlan replied.

She didn’t stop moving as she identified herself.

Instead, she walked right up to Yuan Ming, her heels pressing into the damp soil. She took a step forward, positioning herself between Chi Qian and Yuan Ming.

Chi Qian blinked in confusion at the shadow that had suddenly fallen before her.

Then she heard Shi Jinlan’s cold voice ask Yuan Ming, “Is Doctor Zhao sick?”

“Yes,” Yuan Ming nodded. “It seems they ate something they’re allergic to. When they contacted me this morning, they were still in the hospital’s emergency room.”

Shi Jinlan raised an eyebrow at her words, her flat tone tinged with a hint of personal emotion. “Even doctors can be so careless.”

“Well, we doctors are only human,” Yuan Ming replied with a smile, responding to Shi Jinlan’s skepticism. She then added, “I just finished checking on Ah Qian. She’s recovering well, but we still need to pay attention to maintaining air humidity to prevent another asthma attack in the short term. It’s not good for her health.”

Although Yuan Ming had said a lot—a diagnosis, a warning—Shi Jinlan latched onto a single word.

Under the sun, her brow furrowed slightly as she repeated, “Ah Qian.”

Yuan Ming smiled openly. “Yes, Ah Qian. Is something wrong?”

It was precisely this openness that gave Shi Jinlan nothing to grasp.

It was like this in the past, and it was like this now.

“Nothing.” Shi Jinlan’s expression was even calmer than before. They were both intelligent people; many things were already understood without needing to be spelled out.

Shi Jinlan turned to look at Chi Qian beside her and nodded at Yuan Ming’s words. “This is something you should have been told.”

The midsummer sun was scorching and fierce, baking the earth like a furnace. The sparse wind couldn’t disperse the oppressive heat.

As the well-behaved “outsider” standing to the side, Chi Qian felt an inexplicable darkness in the shadow before her. The cool breeze now felt only cold, and her guilt became more palpable with every swallow.

She had a feeling the person standing in front of her was in a bad mood.

And it was because of her.

“The boat is still docked at the shore behind us. If Doctor Yuan is finished with the examination, you can take this boat back,” Shi Jinlan said to Yuan Ming.

“That’s perfect.” Yuan Ming nodded with a smile, then tilted her head slightly to say to Chi Qian, who was beside Shi Jinlan, “I’ll be back for a follow-up tomorrow. See you then, Ah Qian.”

“Okay,” Chi Qian nodded, habitually reminding her, “Be careful on your way.”

“Don’t worry.” Yuan Ming smiled and left with her medical kit.

A water bird resting on the lake took flight, silently creating a ripple on the surface.

The boat docked at the shore departed, leaving only Shi Jinlan and Chi Qian in the middle of the lake.

“Ah Qian.” After watching the boat leave, Shi Jinlan called out to Chi Qian.

“Ah…” Chi Qian knew what Shi Jinlan was about to say. She followed behind her guiltily, like a child who had done something wrong. “I’m sorry, Ah Lan, A Yuan, she… she recognized me.”

“I recognized you back then, too,” Shi Jinlan said coldly, pushing open the villa’s main door with one hand and gesturing for Chi Qian to enter first.

“Yes, you’re both so amazing.” Chi Qian’s admiration was sincere. In front of these two, the vest⁸ she wore was as good as non-existent.

“I’m not as amazing as Doctor Yuan.” Shi Jinlan, however, disagreed. Watching Chi Qian walk past her, her deep eyes seemed to be gazing at a piece of prey—a piece of prey that belonged exclusively to her.

“How could that be?” Chi Qian didn’t think so.

“Then why did you admit it the moment she arrived?”

A dull thud echoed from the screen wall⁹ in the entryway. The moment Chi Qian stepped inside, she was pressed against it by Shi Jinlan.

Their conversation still echoed in her ears. When she heard Shi Jinlan’s last sentence, she instantly realized she had messed up.

The very thing she had initially avoided and denied, biting her tongue even when it made Shi Jinlan unhappy, she had now admitted so easily to Yuan Ming—and behind Shi Jinlan’s back, no less.

A tall, gloomy shadow fell over the entryway light, casting Chi Qian’s head in darkness.

The modern screen wall still radiated the chill of stone, like cold water suddenly poured over her in the middle of summer. It dripped down Chi Qian’s shoulders, making her heart race.

“She touched your face just now, didn’t she?” There was no room for distance. Shi Jinlan’s breath was hot from the sun, falling against Chi Qian’s face.

Shi Jinlan was mad with jealousy.

She had seen Yuan Ming and Chi Qian’s silhouettes face-to-face when she came ashore. That person’s hand had been on Chi Qian’s face, her fingers long and slender, the gesture gentle and intimate.

It was as if everything had returned to that day behind the ancestral hall.¹⁰

Her composure, the ‘still waters run deep’¹¹ she prided herself on, could not withstand a single blow in this instant.

Her pride and composure were shattered back to their original form.

She was still that volatile, insecure madwoman, constantly worrying about personal gains and losses.¹²

These past years, it was only because the person she cared about was gone that she had managed to be slightly more composed. But she still couldn’t control her unease, violently seeking power and wealth until she had amassed enough treasure and authority that she felt could keep that person safe…

But it wasn’t enough.

It was far from enough.

“That was just a doctor comforting a patient after an examination. It meant nothing else.”

Listening to Chi Qian’s clarification, the unease in Shi Jinlan’s eyes did not lessen one bit.

Over the years, her relationship with Yuan Ming had been seemingly close yet distant. They were in the same camp, but they were never truly close.

Compared to Ah Ning’s submission, Yuan Ming’s gentle and peaceful demeanor was something Shi Jinlan could never control.

This person was liked by everyone, yet she possessed a magnetic field that Shi Jinlan could never harmonize with, an ethereal nature that seemed not to belong to this world.

“Comfort? Where else did she comfort you?” Shi Jinlan stroked the cheek Yuan Ming had touched, her eyes fierce, but she was still restraining herself, waiting for Chi Qian to give her a reassuring answer.

But Chi Qian failed to do so.

She shook her head at Shi Jinlan, replying in a way she thought would reassure her, “Nowhere else. She just checked my mouth, other—mmph—”

Shi Jinlan didn’t listen to the end of that fatal answer, immediately sealing Chi Qian’s lips with her own.

She gripped Chi Qian’s wrist tightly with one hand, blue veins bulging hideously along the bones of her hand, like a green snake flicking its tongue.¹³

Restraint. There was no more restraint.

Just as she had seen, Shi Jinlan pinched Chi Qian’s chin, and with a flick of her tongue, she breached her teeth.

The clear daylight breeze, carrying the cool vapor from the lake, rushed through the doorway, lifting the hem of Chi Qian’s bright yellow skirt.

Shi Jinlan tirelessly stirred the sounds of water, as if trying to cleanse the non-existent traces Yuan Ming had left behind.

Frantic with jealousy.

“Ah Qian, who is more important to you, Yuan Ming or me?”

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The author has something to say:

Lanlan: Scum woman ○_○

Qianqian: I’m not QAQ

Xiao Ming (enjoying the drama): ooh~

Meanwhile, Song Tang is already on their way to this world……

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