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So I Had No Choice But to Stop Being the White Moonlight – Chapter 60

I’m Not Going to Be the White Moonlight

To Throw Oneself into the Net1

The light was sparse, tracing a cool white line down Shi Jinlan’s hand, from the back of her palm to her fingertips.

Her hand was immaculately pale. Her movements were unhurried as her fingers landed on Chi Qian’s lips, lingering there for a long moment, slowly, sensuously tracing their shape.

It was impossible to tell if Shi Jinlan was touching her lips, or if her lips were kissing Shi Jinlan’s fingers.

Chi Qian’s heart hammered against her ribs. She didn’t know where to look.

Down, and she’d see Shi Jinlan’s hand. Up, and she’d meet that calm, languid gaze. Shi Jinlan was like a cat, utterly uninhibited as she completely dominated Chi Qian’s line of sight.

Fingertips and lips, both rich with capillaries, pulsed with circulating blood, pressing two different temperatures together.

Chi Qian had never realized that temperature could have layers. The sensation was sharp, shifting with Shi Jinlan’s every move. It felt like her very bones were resonating with Shi Jinlan, humming in time with the friction of a finger sliding across her lips.

She knew what Shi Jinlan’s words meant.

She knew what Shi Jinlan wanted.

She had given it to her once before.

And she could give it to her now.

She had possessed this beautiful woman, however briefly. She was no saint; after tasting the marrow and knowing its flavor2, she couldn’t deny the desire to indulge again.

Chi Qian’s fingers twitched slightly. The leg cream, not yet fully absorbed, felt sticky and damp against her skin.

Human senses were strange. Two things could be as unrelated as a horse and a cow3, yet be linked by the same feeling.

The sunlight slanted, and the heat in the air seemed to warm their every breath.

This feeling of being remembered again was disarming her reason, making her want to give in, to do something that would please her.

As Shi Jinlan’s finger continued its exploration, Chi Qian met her gaze and lifted her own eyes.

She stared directly at Shi Jinlan, her heavy breaths laced with nervousness and a raw eagerness. Slowly, she began to part her lips, as if to swallow Shi Jinlan’s fingers…

She was going to kiss them.

But the shadow on the floor retreated.

“Miss Shi.”

The polite address was like an emergency brake.

Chi Qian’s heart, which had been drawing steadily closer to Shi Jinlan, was yanked back. As if snapping out of a trance, her body followed, leaning away and hastily putting distance between them once more.

The bracelet on her wrist slid down to her wrist bone without a sound.

Chi Qian extended her arms, barely managing to prop up her leaning body. Her eyes flickered. “Don’t you think this is too strange? We only met for the first time today. Why are you acting like this toward me…?”

Her words trailed off as she fumbled for the right term.

A dozen words flashed through her mind: offensive, despicable, even lewd.

But how could words like that ever be used to describe Shi Jinlan?

Even though Chi Qian told herself she didn’t have that many feelings for Shi Jinlan, she couldn’t tolerate anyone tarnishing her—not even herself.

Seeing Chi Qian’s sudden pause, the displeasure in Shi Jinlan’s eyes was suppressed by another emotion. She watched her calmly, observing how the righteous indignation from a second ago had dissolved into a loss for words. Her eyes narrowed with amusement. “Like what?”

“Like… this…” Chi Qian repeated, finally settling on the most toothless word she could find. “Rude.”

In the past three years, Shi Jinlan had disposed of Shi Cheng, ruined the families of all who betrayed her, and swallowed up countless companies, big and small.

She had heard far too many furious curses. They’d called her a bitch, wished her a horrible death, called her despicable and shameless, willing to do anything to achieve her goals. They’d cursed her, a woman who climbed to the top by stepping on men, saying she’d get her retribution…

But this word from Chi Qian? This was a first.

She’d just bared her fangs, so why did she retract them?

Like a large dog with its tail tucked between its legs.

Just like in the past.

The thought made Shi Jinlan smile. “How are you ever going to get revenge on the people who framed you if you’re like this?”

Chi Qian had always felt that Shi Jinlan’s smiles were rarely genuine. They were always tinged with cunning, less an expression of happiness and more a weapon for provocation and disdain.

But was she being disdainful now?

There was certainly a hint of contempt in her eyes for Chi Qian’s behavior, but it was mixed with the helpless frustration of hating iron for not becoming steel4.

And… worry.

Worry about what?

Worried that I’ll be framed and thrown in prison?

Shi Jinlan can worry about people?

Chi Qian stared into Shi Jinlan’s eyes, and in a daze, a scene seemed to surge through her mind. A hazy white film clouded her vision, tracing the line of Shi Jinlan’s furrowed brow. The sound of breathing next to her ear was like a bellows, heavy and dry as lead.

Shi Jinlan… she really did seem to have worried about someone once.

Knock, knock.

The sound of knocking cut through Chi Qian’s thoughts.

After a few seconds, the housekeeper pushed the door open and stood formally in the doorway. “Miss, Miss Chi’s things have all been brought over.”

Chi Qian was stunned. “Miss Shi, what is the meaning of this?”

Faced with Chi Qian’s question, Shi Jinlan remained unhurried. “I heard your landlord broke your lease and demanded you move out within a day. What do you think of my house?”

Normally, hearing someone else talk about things she didn’t even know about herself would have terrified Chi Qian.

But maybe it was the frankness in Shi Jinlan’s tone. In the daylight, Chi Qian looked at Shi Jinlan’s calm, deep eyes watching her, and she felt not a shred of fear.

At most, she just felt like an open book in front of Shi Jinlan, every word on the page read with perfect clarity.

She didn’t want to run because she was afraid of Shi Jinlan. She wanted to run because she was afraid Shi Jinlan would see through her own despicable motives.

She was here to quell Shi Jinlan’s madness, to take the world back from her hands.

And in the end, to push her toward her death.

The thought formed a heavy, suffocating knot in her chest. Something inside her struggled, begging her not to do it.

So, Chi Qian took a step back. “Miss Shi, we’re complete strangers. I can’t accept such generosity.”

But that very answer sent an excited jolt of electricity through her ear.

Thirteen’s voice, intermittent and crackling with static, drilled into her head. 【Bzzzt—Host—bzzzt—it’s a chance—bzzzzzt】

There was no wind outside. The sun beat down on the glass, its scorching rays unobstructed. Nothing was happening around them, which only made Thirteen’s warning seem all the more bizarre.

What’s going on?

Come to think of it, Thirteen had been quiet for way too long. It hadn’t spoken to her this entire time, and it definitely didn’t have the kind of personality that could hold its tongue.

“You can accept it.”

Before Chi Qian could try to contact Thirteen again, Shi Jinlan’s voice cut in.

She leaned against the arm of the chaise lounge, her posture languid. She crossed her long legs, making no effort to hide the fact that she was resting them on Chi Qian’s lap, even in front of Housekeeper Chen. “I want to hire you as my private personal assistant. I wonder, Miss Chi, what are your thoughts?”

Chi Qian was astonished.

She never expected that upon arriving in this world, the first person to offer her a chance to get close to Shi Jinlan would be Shi Jinlan herself.

The position Shi Jinlan mentioned sounded glamorous, but in reality, it was no different from what Chi Qian had done on the island. A so-called private personal assistant, to put it bluntly, was just a high-class servant responsible for the master’s daily life.

How could she, a new-age youth with a college degree and a five-figure monthly salary at a major tech company…

“Five hundred thousand a month, after taxes,” Shi Jinlan said calmly.

“I’ll do it,” Chi Qian blurted out, her eyes firm.

It’s not that I like the money. I just want to experience life.

Besides, didn’t Thirteen just say this was a chance?

If the mission succeeded, she’d get a ton of points again.

If the mission failed, well, at least she’d have enjoyed Shi Jinlan’s money.

No matter the outcome, Chi Qian wouldn’t lose.

She refused to be some white moonlight5.

Cynical, cunning, and preferring to lie down rather than sit up.

That was the real her.


The wooden floorboards amplified the sound of footsteps down the long corridor, which ended at an old-fashioned mahogany door.

The housekeeper walked ahead, carrying Chi Qian’s suitcase, while Chi Qian followed behind, cautiously observing the unfamiliar Western-style mansion.

“We’re here, Miss Chi.” The housekeeper stopped at the door and pushed it open for her.

Chi Qian still felt awkward accepting such treatment. Thinking that she and the housekeeper were now on the same level, she reached out to hold the door as well, speaking to her in a friendly tone. “Please, you don’t have to be so formal. We’re colleagues now.”

“You’re too kind, Miss Chi,” the housekeeper said with a smile, clearly not taking her words seriously. She maintained a polite but distinct distance as she carried the suitcase into the room.

Chi Qian’s hand was still on the door, her eyes following the housekeeper’s back. She didn’t quite understand the meaning behind that smile, or her words.

She said I was being too kind. Was she referring to me saying we were the same?

Thinking about it, her statement did seem a little off.

The woman was Mrs. Housekeeper6, while she was just a newly hired junior assistant. In Shi Jinlan’s household, the housekeeper was probably her direct supervisor.

What was the difference between that and a project team member telling the manager they were equals?

Once Chi Qian made the connection, a cold sweat broke out on her back. But then she thought the housekeeper was actually quite nice. Even after Chi Qian’s presumptuous comment, the housekeeper hadn’t gotten angry—she’d just smiled and continued to address her respectfully as “Miss Chi.”

A good boss determines how comfortable you are at work. Shi Jinlan might be hard to read, but if her second-in-command is this decent, that’s already pretty good.

Nothing is ever perfect.

“Is it alright if I put this here?”

Just as Chi Qian was giving her future work environment a four-and-a-half-star rating, the housekeeper placed her luggage on the rug beside the bed.

“That’s fine,” Chi Qian nodded. She wasn’t picky; the luggage could go anywhere.

“I’ll take my leave, then.” The housekeeper gave a slight nod.

“Take care.” Chi Qian walked her to the door, thanking her for carrying the suitcase all the way.

Once Mrs. Housekeeper’s back disappeared down the stairwell, Chi Qian carefully closed her door.

Then, with a thrill of excitement and curiosity, she began to survey her new room with the stealth of a thief.

She had to admit, Shi Jinlan’s employee benefits were amazing. The room’s location seemed to be the octagonal chamber she had seen from the outside. The series of obtuse-angled walls opened the room up like a fan. It was even bigger than her room in the System’s space. The bed sat in the center, surrounded by various exquisite and intricate furnishings that filled the room without making it feel cluttered.

Chi Qian backed up, her gaze falling on an archway carved into one of the walls. It appeared to be a walk-in closet. Sunlight filtered in through a window, softened by specialized glass, and spilled over rows of clothes.

She hadn’t expected a job at Shi Jinlan’s to come with a full wardrobe of work uniforms.

She couldn’t help but sigh internally. Shi Jinlan may have tormented many of her colleagues, but she was truly a good boss.

Hopefully, in the future, my relationship with Shi Jinlan can be even better than today. No, wait—more harmonious.

As she schemed silently, she fell backward onto the bed.

Dust motes danced in the sunbeams.

The soft mattress cradled her back and waist, half-enveloping her as if it meant to swallow her whole. As the dust swirled, Chi Qian caught a faint, clean fragrance in the air. The scent was inexplicably relaxing, and the exhaustion from her long day slowly began to surface.

Her thoughts drifted. Perhaps it was the System reminding her, but a hazy memory surfaced of people in history who tried to play both sides and never met a good end.

But she wasn’t a good person, was she?

She wasn’t the white moonlight in Shi Jinlan’s heart.

She was a thief. A swindler.

In the past, she had stolen Shi Jinlan’s heart.

Now, she was here to crush it with her own hands.

The sun sank below the green lawn outside the window, pulling the light from the world. In the growing darkness, an indescribable sorrow welled up from the depths of her heart and spread through her body.

The System was despicable, yes.

But as its accomplice, she would be doomed beyond redemption7.

“…”

A slow breath escaped her lips, sinking into the soft pillow and creating a patch of damp warmth beside her cheek.

Whatever.

Might as well get what I can while I’m still alive.

If I can’t have the real me be loved by Shi Jinlan, then I’ll just take her money.

At least she gives, and I take. Neither of us loses out.

…Right?

Chi Qian wasn’t so sure. Her once-solid logic could no longer convince her. Her feelings for Shi Jinlan weren’t as faint as she’d thought. But why hadn’t she felt this way when the mission was completed? Why did it only surface now that she was seeing Shi Jinlan again?

Was this her true feeling for Shi Jinlan, or was it guilt?

Her thoughts grew muddled as the light, clean scent swirled around her, an intimate, constant presence. Before long, her eyes grew heavy. Her eyelids fluttered once, twice, and then she sank into a deep sleep.

The summer night was warm and quiet. The cicadas, after screaming all day, seemed to have tired themselves out.

Chi Qian didn’t remember what she dreamed of, only that in a hazy state of sleep, she felt the mattress dip behind her. The side of the bed she was lying on, which had been compressed under her weight, now balanced out as another force settled onto it.

Still lost in her dream, Chi Qian felt a distinct warmth press against her exposed back, a stark contrast to the summer air.

The sharp bone of a wrist brushed against her slender waist, and a stronger wave of that clean fragrance washed over her.

“!”

Chi Qian’s eyes snapped open.

Fighting the pull of the mattress, she struggled to turn over.

The moonlight cast a hazy, ethereal glow. In that pale light was Shi Jinlan’s face, her cool, serene features more captivating than the moon itself.

Chi Qian stammered, “M-Miss Shi, you, how could you…”

“Didn’t Housekeeper Chen tell you?” Shi Jinlan’s voice was calm. “This is my room.”

Her voice seemed to melt into the soft bedding, warm and intimate, rustling against Chi Qian’s ear.


The author has something to say:

Lanlan: Wifey is waiting for me in bed, I’m so happy~



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