So I Had No Choice But to Stop Being the White Moonlight – Chapter 44

My Legs Almost Gave Out

The surroundings were quiet, starlight flaking into Chi Qian’s eyes.

The lips that had just been moistened were pressed together again. Having lived for over twenty years, this was the first time Chi Qian had ever experienced the feeling of a kiss.

Because she was unprepared, Shi Jinlan’s action of prying open Chi Qian’s lips was also smooth.

The tip of a tongue traced through a layer of moisture. This was the softest part of the human body, boneless, with only a wide network of nerves that quivered lightly at the sudden caress, like a doorbell being rung.

But in fact, Shi Jinlan had never kissed anyone either.

Her long, slender fingers clasped Chi Qian’s waist. The sensation was inexplicably familiar to her, and so her fingers couldn’t help but tighten inch by inch, wanting the person before her to come a little closer.

Closer still.

So close that the only thing in the surrounding air was their breathing, so close that the sun had baked the cool fragrance until it was scorching hot, and it showered down upon their lips.

The sounds from the ancestral hall seemed to be pushed far away; in Chi Qian’s ears, there was only the thump of a heartbeat.

It was as if a thrown ring had landed securely around the very thing she wanted.

Chi Qian didn’t know if butterflies used all their strength when sucking nectar, but right now, all she felt was that her own legs were about to give out.

Shi Jinlan pressed against her waist, forcing Chi Qian to “throw herself into her embrace,” drawing from her wantonly and tirelessly.

The withered floral wreath in Chi Qian’s hand made a faint rustle. Her tightly clenched palm was slick with sweat.

Killing me.

This was even more life-threatening than an asthma attack.

Chi Qian didn’t know how to come up for air and was on the verge of being unable to breathe.

Shi Jinlan, calm and composed, released Chi Qian at just the right moment.

Her hand was still on Chi Qian’s back, stroking it now and then. Both her eyes and her voice held a warmth and moisture that wouldn’t dissipate as she chuckled lightly and said to Chi Qian, “Got no guts, yet you still try to lie to people?”

“I…” Chi Qian reflexively tried to shift the blame, but the moment she spoke, she stuttered.

How could she have known Shi Jinlan would find out she’d been hiding? She tried to forcefully salvage her dignity¹, “I wasn’t concerned, just… concerned… You, how, how did you know?”

But as Chi Qian spoke, her voice grew smaller and smaller.

She wanted to look away from Shi Jinlan, but was held firmly in her grasp. Her lowered eyes held a hint of cowardice, but more than that was a grievance born of having backing and no fear.²

They were clearly two diametrically opposed emotions, yet they appeared on Chi Qian’s face just like that.

Shi Jinlan looked up at her, the amusement in her eyes growing richer until she even laughed out loud.

“What are you laughing at?” Chi Qian didn’t understand. Though this was a moment she should have been a little afraid of Shi Jinlan, she was feeling quite bold.

“I’m laughing at someone who falls for a little trick,” Shi Jinlan said slowly, her eyes looking at Chi Qian’s with a flirtatious glint.

Hearing this, Chi Qian froze.

She’d been tricked!

Shi Jinlan was just bluffing her!

“Don’t you think you owe me an explanation?”

As Shi Jinlan spoke, she pressed on the small of Chi Qian’s back, closing the distance that had just opened between them.

A sense of pressure was layered within the intimacy, and it was impossible to tell which was stronger, making one’s heart pound erratically.

Just like that, Chi Qian’s eyes unexpectedly met Shi Jinlan’s. The air between their breaths was filled with this person’s scent, a fragrance that, having tasted its marrow and known its flavor³, now spread from the tip of her tongue.

“Qianqian, Miss Shen, it’s time to go!”

Just then, Auntie Zhou’s voice came from the side of the ancestral hall.

The flower patch behind the ancestral hall was the same as last time. Flustered, Chi Qian broke her gaze with Shi Jinlan.

A great deal of guilt sprouted in her heart—part of it toward Shi Jinlan, and part of it toward Auntie Zhou.

And because of this, this time, just like the last, she ran off first at Auntie Zhou’s call.

Her steps were still swift, fleeing into the wilderness⁴, as she called out, “Got it!”

---

【A kiss in a sea of flowers~ How romantic~】

【Host, did you plan this in your heart ahead of time, striking perfectly last night when the time, place, and people were all just right!⁵】

【Host, does this mean you and Shi Jinlan are together now?】

【May the great Main System bless us, the Host’s mission is going so smoothly!】

…

Ever since returning from the ancestral hall, Thirteen’s voice had been occupying Chi Qian’s mind.

The mechanical voice paired with such emotional sentences sounded unbelievably awkward.

And no matter how much Chi Qian pretended not to hear or refused to answer Thirteen, the voice wouldn’t go away. It was practically torture.

【Host, does this mean you and Shi Jinlan can now do those~ things! I have the data right here, I’ll send it now—】

【YOU DARE SEND IT!!】

Thirteen was extremely excited and was about to do as it said.

But before it could pull up the files to send to Chi Qian, it was cut off by her sharp mental retort.

Hearing Thirteen’s words, Chi Qian blushed furiously: 【Are you done yet? You’ve been chattering away since we got back last night, and you’re at it again this morning. Don’t I need to rest?】

【I was just happy for Host.】 Thirteen was in the wrong, but still acted as if it were completely justified.

Seeing that Chi Qian was finally paying attention to it, it continued its inquiry: 【Besides, Host, what are you and Shi Jinlan now? Can I register you as a couple in the system?】

【How should I know.】 At this, Chi Qian seemed to deflate, and her shoulders slumped.

【You saw it too. After we came back from the ancestral hall last night, she didn’t say anything else.】 Chi Qian stood before a mirror, adjusting her skirt.

The sounds of the bustling crowd’s conversations intertwined. The single-pane glass couldn’t keep any of the noise out. The moment the gongs and drums sounded, they could be heard even in the darkest corners.

The Third Day of the Third Month⁶ began amidst the lively clamor of voices and drumbeats.

As key figures in the flower float parade, Chi Qian and Shi Jinlan were in a huge rush.

It was already the early hours of the morning when they returned from the ancestral hall yesterday. They cleaned up a bit and went straight to bed.

The moment they opened their eyes, they had to start preparing for the parade. The resting room was full of people coming and going. Before she and Shi Jinlan could even speak, Auntie Zhou had pushed them in front of separate makeup artists.

Even the skirt was working against her.

Chi Qian stood before the mirror adjusting her collar. The large sleeves made of satin gauze were a real nuisance; they felt awkward no matter how she wore them.

【This collar should be smoothed upward. Host, you have to ask her. You can’t just leave things unclear like this… no, upward.】 Thirteen instructed, directing Chi Qian’s clothes-straightening on one hand while speaking on the other.

【I think it’s fine like this.】 It was unclear whether Chi Qian was talking about her collar or her relationship with Shi Jinlan.

There was always a long pole wedged in her heart, barring the door that could have otherwise been easily opened.

She didn’t dare to face it, was afraid to face it, looking like someone with the will of a thief but none of the nerve. She was evasive about her feelings for Shi Jinlan, even resorting to twisting words and forcing logic⁷: 【It’s better this way, all vague and undefined! Isn’t this kind of ambiguous relationship the most torturous kind?!】

【Host, you’re not talking about yoursel—】

Knock, knock.

As an outsider, and as the system accompanying Chi Qian, Thirteen saw through her words with exceptional clarity.

Just as it was about to expose her, a knock came from outside the dressing room.

“Qianqian, are you ready?” It was Auntie Zhou, hurrying her along.

“Ready, ready.” Chi Qian didn’t want to discuss these things with Thirteen. She threw on her outer robe and walked out.

The moment she pushed the door open, Chi Qian saw Auntie Zhou smiling at her.

Her eyes scanned the fully dressed Chi Qian up and down, incredibly satisfied. “Aiyo, so handsome!”

With that, Auntie Zhou took Chi Qian’s hand and led her over to where Shi Jinlan was having her makeup touched up. “Miss Shen, come and see, isn’t our Qianqian so pretty!”

At the thought, Chi Qian followed Auntie Zhou’s gaze.

The sun streamed in through a small window on one side, sprinkling the path with golden light. Amidst the coming and going of people, a slender and graceful figure emerged.

Shades of pink softened around Shi Jinlan’s body like a cloud of mist, a cloudy mix of pink and white.

Her sleeves fluttered in the air. On her head was a white, pearl-inlaid lotus crown, surrounded by all sorts of flowers pinned to it, blooming brilliantly, like a banished immortal.⁸

It was as if ten million raindrops were hitting banana leaves, a rhythmic beat sounding in Chi Qian’s heart.

It was the stirring of her heart, but it was also nervousness.

Shi Jinlan was so beautiful it made one’s mind go blank.

She was also afraid she wasn’t good enough for her.

“Ah Qian is so beautiful.”

Just then, a calm voice sounded clearly in Chi Qian’s ear.

She abruptly raised her head to look at Shi Jinlan, who had walked up to her.

The wind carried a whiff of fresh fragrance. A faint smile rippled in those cool, deep pupils.

Her gaze was direct, enough to make one feel shy.

Maybe it was because the room was crowded and the air wasn’t circulating, but Chi Qian felt her face grow hot.

“Miss Shen, don’t you think Qianqian should also wear a few flowers in her hair?” Auntie Zhou had another idea.

When it came to the two of them’s appearances, she could be said to be constantly striving for perfection.

Just after Shi Jinlan had changed her clothes, she too had been pushed back into a chair by her, demanding the makeup artist make her look even more exquisite.

Hearing this, Shi Jinlan’s gaze lingered on Chi Qian’s face for even longer.

With Auntie Zhou’s words as an excuse, her gaze was particularly unrestrained, seeming to carefully scrutinize every inch, committing it to memory with care.

That “beautiful” just now wasn’t Shi Jinlan teasing her.

She genuinely thought that a carefully dressed-up Chi Qian was very beautiful.

Although, to match Ah Qing’s character of a woman perennially disguised as a man, Chi Qian’s hair was only tied in a high ponytail, her jet-black hair framed her face, revealing all of her strong features. With no stray hairs obscuring her brow, she exuded a dashing, heroic air.

If only she weren’t so timid.

Shi Jinlan thought, and suddenly smiled.

“Let me do it.”

With that, Shi Jinlan raised a hand, took a flower that was pinned in her own hair, and walked closer to pin it on Chi Qian.

The sunlight in her field of vision was blocked by a falling shadow. The light pink petals were like a faint smear of oil paint.

It was impossible to tell if it was the fragrance of the flower or Shi Jinlan’s scent, but every breath Chi Qian took was filled with it.

Time seemed to slow down. The clamor faded into the distance, and the people coming and going became blurred shadows.

Strands of her hair moved slightly. Chi Qian felt Shi Jinlan’s fingers brush against the stray hairs by her ear. The cool sensation was barely there, yet it scraped against the bone of her ear, coaxing her restless heart to beat faster.

So close.

Even closer than last night.

A weight pressed into her tied-up hair, and Chi Qian knew Shi Jinlan had placed the flower from her own head onto hers.

The gongs and drums outside grew more intense, each beat seeming to strike against Chi Qian’s heart.

She lifted her lowered head and, unprepared, locked eyes with Shi Jinlan.

Their eyes met, and Chi Qian felt that Shi Jinlan wanted her to say something.

But, what was there to say?

It couldn’t just be “thank you,” could it…

“Wow—Fairy sister!!”

Just then, a child’s innocent voice sounded between the two of them, breaking their eye contact.

The little girl seemed extremely excited, yet also a bit shy around strangers.

She stood at a distance from Chi Qian and Shi Jinlan that was neither too far nor too close, her eyes twinkling as she looked at them.

Seeing this, Auntie Zhou waved her over and asked with a kindly smile, “Guoguo⁹, which fairy sister do you think is prettier?”

Hearing the question, the little girl looked at Shi Jinlan, then at Chi Qian, and subconsciously moved to stand by Chi Qian’s side.

She was a little afraid of Shi Jinlan’s cold eyes, but she couldn’t go against her true thoughts. Tugging on the hem of Chi Qian’s clothes, she whispered, “That sister is pretty, just like… like Lady Ling Ji¹⁰ in the ancestral hall…”

“Aiyo, our Guoguo really knows how to talk.” The words went straight to Auntie Zhou’s heart. She laughed at once and rubbed the little girl’s head with extra doting affection.

Chi Qian felt the same way. She couldn’t help but point to herself and ask curiously, “Then what about this sister?”

“Um…”

At her words, the little girl looked up at Chi Qian, then for some reason looked at Shi Jinlan, and then looked back at Chi Qian again.

She seemed to ponder for a long time, then pursed her lips and said shyly, “This sister and that sister are a good match.”

---

The author has something to say:

Little girl: My eyes are super sharp, you know!!!!

---

---