Suffering the Bitterness of Love
Did it taste bad?
The assistant didn’t think so.
If she had to spend her own money ordering takeout from Yuanfu Lou, she definitely wouldn’t be willing. But, to be honest, the last time Su Ruixi ordered a beef pancake from Yuanfu Lou, she’d tried it, and it wasn’t as good as the place downstairs used to be.
Thinking of the place downstairs, the assistant couldn’t help but sigh. She had no idea where that beef pancake place had moved to; there was absolutely no news. If she knew where it was, she might go try it again, even if she had to wait in line.
However, the assistant wasn’t someone particularly obsessed with food; as long as it wasn’t bad, she was fine with it. Su Ruixi was different, incredibly picky, though she did seem to quite like that beef pancake place too.
Thinking this, the assistant saw Su Ruixi’s low spirits and poor appetite and couldn’t resist mentioning it1: “Boss Su, that beef pancake place downstairs from our company before was really delicious. I’ve never had beef pancakes that good. It’s a shame the owner moved, no idea where to.”
“I tried other places’ beef pancakes later, none were as good as theirs. But I did find one that tasted about twenty or thirty percent similar. If you want to try it sometime, I can bring it for you.”
The assistant’s intentions were good, but not only did she fail to achieve the expected effect after speaking, Su Ruixi’s mood sank even lower.
Watching the even more depressed atmosphere surrounding Su Ruixi, the assistant was completely stunned: What’s going on? Doesn’t she like that beef pancake? Could it be… that little stall held beautiful memories between her and her partner, which is why she feels even worse now?
Yes, by now, the assistant was convinced that her own boss—Boss Su—was suffering the bitterness of love. Otherwise, why would she be so miserable?
As an assistant, she really shouldn’t say this, but their Boss Su was such a good person! How could she become so gloomy and even neglect her work because of some rotten man! At this very moment, the assistant’s heart filled with righteous indignation, reaching its peak.
She sighed, and with a hint of resolve as if going to her death, she boldly spoke out: “Boss Su, I know there are some things I shouldn’t say, but I really can’t stand watching this anymore.”
Su Ruixi had already been finding her food tasteless, like chewing wax. Hearing the assistant talk about beef pancakes reminded her of Sun Miao’s inexplicable actions these past two days, making her feel even worse. She felt a faint ache in her stomach again. Hearing the assistant’s words, she didn’t quite react at first. She looked up at the assistant: “Go on.”
What was it that she couldn’t stand watching but shouldn’t say? Had she made a mistake in a recent work decision?
Su Ruixi pulled herself together a bit, clearing her head slightly so she wouldn’t miss any important topic the assistant might bring up.
The assistant took a deep breath, invoking a sense of solemn gravity2: “Boss Su, are you perhaps alone, with no appetite for food or drink3, and recently, his attitude towards you changed, making you very upset? You clearly did nothing wrong, but he inexplicably grew cold?”
What the assistant said was actually based on her own guesses combined with help posts she’d seen online. She thought: Boss Su has probably been dating for about half a month now; it’s easy for the guy to develop rebellious feelings during this period. Or perhaps… he stopped cherishing her once he got her4.
Many netizens keenly noticed changes in their boyfriends around this time.
She figured Boss Su must have encountered something similar. Especially with Boss Su’s personality, which wasn’t very likable in daily life. She was too strong-willed and usually very cold; those rotten men definitely weren’t into that type5. They might find her novel at first and pursue her, but once they succeeded, they’d complain that Boss Su was an ice block…
Just thinking about this filled the assistant’s heart with hatred for the scumbag and pity for Su Ruixi.
Su Ruixi’s eyes suddenly widened slightly. She understood now; the assistant wasn’t talking about work but had keenly sensed these other things.
“How… how did you know?”
“That’s not important. What’s important is, Boss Su, what are you thinking?”
Su Ruixi paused, stunned. “What do you mean, what am I thinking?”
Seeing her like this, the assistant was so anxious she didn’t know what to say. Looking at Boss Su, it was clear she still harbored feelings for that scumbag and couldn’t bear to leave him. If it were anyone else being so hopelessly devoted6, the assistant would definitely choose: respect, understand, wish them well, and stay far away7.
But the person was Su Ruixi. The assistant even felt this might be her first time ever falling in love, and that bit of pity surged up again.
She pressed her lips together and continued, “Boss Su, it’s inevitable for there to be some friction when two people are together. Maybe changing your attitude a bit would be better. You’re usually quite stern at work; perhaps being softer in private would be better…”
Scumbag! If you still act cold-hearted towards Boss Su like this, don’t blame me for interfering later and making Boss Su break up with you quickly!
Su Ruixi took it in, but found it even more unbelievable. “You’re saying, she thinks I’m too cold, and that’s why her attitude changed?” Su Ruixi felt this conclusion wasn’t very reliable. She felt she wasn’t the same in front of Sun Miao as she was with others; she thought she was quite warm.
“But, we got along so well before. I bought her candy, just the day before yesterday I gave her a helmet, we were laughing and talking then… I just don’t understand why it would suddenly…”
The assistant was stunned. “What? He turned hostile8 right after you gave him a gift?!” The assistant’s fists clenched9. She decided to take back what she just said. This kind of scumbag absolutely didn’t need saving; she should just quickly say goodbye to him!
Especially seeing Su Ruixi nod somewhat aggrievedly, the assistant felt even more like punching the scumbag. Their boss, such a cold and proud person, had already swallowed her pride and started giving small gifts; how could this rotten man bear to treat her like this?!
The assistant got worked up on the spot: “Break up! You must break up! Even if this is your first love, Boss Su, I have to say, a man like that isn’t worth it! You should break up immediately! Boss Su, don’t hesitate! Three-legged toads10 are hard to find, but aren’t there plenty of two-legged men?!”
Actually, Su Ruixi was already a bit stunned when the assistant said the words “break up.” The subsequent mention of “first love” made her mind unable to catch up11. Only when the final word “men” came out did Su Ruixi fall silent.
Her reaction, seen by the assistant, was interpreted only as Su Ruixi still being reluctant to let go of that rotten man. Just as she was about to persuade her further, she heard Su Ruixi speak faintly, “You misunderstood. It’s not a man.”
For a moment, the assistant’s mind couldn’t catch up either, and some words slipped out without thinking: “Huh? Boss Su, you’re actually a lesbian12?”
“…No.” Su Ruixi replied, “I mean, I’m having some small problems with a female friend of mine.”
At that moment, the assistant’s face flushed bright red. She was even a bit flustered. “I’m sorry, Boss Su! I shouldn’t have randomly speculated. It’s just that your behavior really seemed like… No, that’s not what I meant!”
The mix-up pretty much ended there. Su Ruixi wasn’t in the mood to chat with the assistant anymore either, just waved her hand, letting the assistant leave first. After she left, Su Ruixi didn’t move, just sat on the sofa, her mind a mess.
She didn’t quite understand why the assistant would think she was troubled over a romantic partner…
—Did she really seem that much like she was in love?
Some things are better left unsaid; otherwise, the slightest spark could easily ignite the entire prairie. Raging flames were already beginning to burn in a corner of Su Ruixi’s green field, and it was unknown when they might engulf the whole grassland.
Because of the assistant’s words, her mind couldn’t help but conjure scenes of how she would interact with Sun Miao if they were a couple.
She remembered Sun Miao’s smile, remembered her careful attitude towards her. She imagined sitting across from Sun Miao eating, the two suddenly looking at each other, then smiling knowingly. There were traces13 of this; just recently, their interactions had been so warm.
Su Ruixi shook the images from her mind. She felt she should get back to work, but she hadn’t slept well last night and hadn’t eaten much all day; Su Ruixi was simply too tired. She sat in her office chair, rubbing her temples, and finally told herself, “Take a break. Sleep for a while, then get up and continue working.”
Her rest was for the sake of better work. She didn’t need to set an alarm; she had always been very self-disciplined.
With this thought, Su Ruixi put down her work, took a small blanket to cover herself, and leaned over her desk to rest her eyes for a bit. She thought she wouldn’t fall asleep, just rest for a moment, but groggily, she still drifted off.
Not only did she fall asleep, but she also had a dream.
In the dream, she finished work, drove home, and for some reason, she was in a particularly good mood. After parking the car in the garage, she entered the living room directly through the inner door. Faint sounds reached her ears; listening closely, she could tell they were coming from the kitchen.
The dreaming Su Ruixi seemed accustomed to this. Taking off her coat, she headed towards the kitchen. Before reaching the door, she smelled the aroma of cooking. Her kitchen was spacious and fully equipped. The moment she opened the kitchen door, the sounds and smells became exceptionally clear.
The person in front of the integrated stove14 had their back to her. The figure was slender, wearing a simple white T-shirt and jeans, the apron strings tied from front to back, outlining the waist. Su Ruixi knew very well it wouldn’t be a man, nor the cleaning lady she employed.
The person’s name was right on the tip of her tongue.
Seemingly hearing the door open, the figure turned around, but her face was somewhat blurry, indistinct. She still held a spatula, a smile on her lips, her words directed at her, but her voice was very gentle.
“Xixi, don’t come in, there’s too much cooking smoke in here, don’t want you getting covered in it.”
Su Ruixi’s first thought was: How is that possible? The range hood on her integrated stove was very effective; there shouldn’t be any smoke escaping. But the person carried an air of everyday life15, making her ice-cold kitchen feel exceptionally full of human warmth.
“Just wait a moment, okay? This is the last dish, it’ll be ready right away!”
After she said this, Su Ruixi woke up. She ruffled her hair and looked at the computer screen. The time in the bottom right corner showed: 3:46 PM.
LP: I declare, Susu-jie, you’re gay!
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