Since We’re Already Here, We Might as Well Queue
Zhou Ling’s Mother’s close female friend wasn’t a fan of fried skewers or bridgehead pork ribs; she preferred things like lion’s head meatballs. So, of course, she loved this braised pagoda meat. The calories were just as high, but as an authentic1 local, she truly adored this kind of sweet flavor.
But just as she was carrying her food away from Sun Miao’s stall, she was intercepted by Zhou Ling’s Mother, who had followed her. True to her word, Zhou Ling’s Mother had arrived at nine, thinking she was early, since Sun Miao didn’t set up her stall until ten.
But who could have known that this bunch was in a state of involution2, each one more competitive than the last, all arriving so early!
She had seen the look on her close female friend’s face, the one that screamed she wanted to be eating alone3. They had known each other for so long that she could guess what her friend was thinking with her toes. In the next moment, Zhou Ling’s Mother began her moral blackmail4: “We’ve known each other for so long, and you can’t even spare me a single bite of meat?”
“…” The close female friend didn’t speak, merely staring at Zhou Ling’s Mother with an accusatory gaze.
Zhou Ling’s Mother pressed on, “When you went to Xinjiang before, I was the one who took you. Otherwise, how would you have gotten to eat Little Boss Sun’s dapanji5, roasted lamb chops, barbecue, and mooncakes? You go to bed so early, you didn’t even know about it. I think of you no matter what I eat, but what about you? You can’t even bear to give me one bite!”
“…”
Seeing that her friend remained unmoved, Zhou Ling’s Mother even started to bring up old scores6 from their school days. “Back then, when you skipped class, I answered the roll call for you. I lent you my notes before the final exams. I even had you as my bridesmaid and gave you a huge red envelope!”
She chattered on, endlessly bringing up old scores, until her close female friend couldn’t take it anymore. “Fine, fine, fine, you can have some! My god, you’re bringing up stuff from twenty years ago. I’m really scared of you now. Let’s go, we’ll get two orders of rice from Yuanfu Tower!”
Zhou Ling’s Mother was satisfied.
There were quite a few old customers like her close female friend who were “blackmailed” and subjected to a barrage of old favors and memories. They had clearly planned on secretly eating alone, but in the end… it was impossible, completely impossible.
Meanwhile, the group of three close female friends who had already decided to pool an order7 didn’t have this problem at first. But as they ate, a new problem arose—if they had known, they wouldn’t have pooled their order. Their relationship was decent, but not good enough to be called best friends. They knew each other, happened to be in the same group chat, and felt that 588 for one portion was too expensive. Pooling an order was the natural solution.
The moment the pagoda meat entered their mouths, they started to regret it: if only they hadn’t pooled their order.
It was too delicious. 588 for one portion was totally worth it! Not only did they not think 588 was expensive, but the taste made it seem like an incredible bargain. Chinese people, after all, are willing to spend money on their mouths.
The Engel’s coefficient couldn’t reflect their personal happiness index. No matter how much or how little money was in their pockets, they always wanted to eat something good. In this situation, the proportion of spending on food was bound to be higher!
Everyone was like this. So what’s wrong with eating something good to treat yourself?!
Not to mention, it was such delicious meat. Most importantly, for 588, you could have both steamed pork with preserved greens8 and braised pork belly at the same time. One price, two experiences—who wouldn’t say that’s a win? But as they ate, they couldn’t help but think: Hey, did the person across from me just take an extra bite?
They’re eating so fast, I’m too slow! This won’t do, I have to speed up. Otherwise, won’t I be losing out on the money I paid?
By the time one portion of pagoda meat was finished, each of them felt that the others had eaten a few more bites than they had.
Although they were big glutton girls, they wouldn’t think so badly of others. It was just that they truly weren’t full, and since three people couldn’t divide it perfectly, they subconsciously felt they had eaten less. At first, because they weren’t that familiar with each other, they all acted with a bit of restraint, thinking they shouldn’t appear to be wolfing and tiger-swallowing9.
But once they saw someone’s chopsticks moving faster than their own, a sense of urgency took over, and it turned into an eating competition.
The fact that all three of them felt like, I think I ate a few bites less, proved they had actually eaten about the same amount.
But once this thought took root in their minds, it was impossible to shake. On the surface, they parted ways warmly, but inwardly they were thinking: No way, I’m absolutely not pooling an order with anyone again. This pagoda meat… I don’t even have enough for myself, and I’m supposed to share! It’s just 588, right? Next time, I’ll pay for the whole thing myself!
That was the thought, but at least they had gotten a taste of the pagoda meat, which counted as treating themselves. They probably wouldn’t buy the pagoda meat again. They would wait for Little Boss Sun to release the next 588-yuan delicacy and then come back to queue.
The next day, the number of people in line had somehow grown even larger, thanks to everyone’s promotion in the group chat. The most ridiculous part was that the number of people who could give their objective feedback was far more than 20, and everyone in the group was saying:
【It’s great in every way, except for one thing: the portion size is too small.】
Sun Miao scratched her head, puzzled. She knew perfectly well how large her pagoda meat portions were. It couldn’t compare to the dapanji, of course, since that had a whole chicken in it, while the pagoda meat was just one portion of pork belly.
But the pork belly Sun Miao bought wasn’t small. True, the pork belly used for the pagoda was the square piece cut from the middle, but Sun Miao didn’t waste the rest; she used it all to make stir-fried pork with preserved greens and bamboo shoots.
Her portion was definitely enough for two people. She had tested it with Su Ruixi the night before. Even though Su Ruixi’s appetite had grown recently and he could finish most of it by himself, the rest was still enough for Sun Miao with some rice. That’s why she found it so strange, even stating honestly in the group chat: 【The portion size is accurate, it’s enough for two people.】
Sun Miao had no idea the issue wasn’t the portion size. Rather, her customers were being coerced into sharing with friends, which created the shortage.
Those who had tasted it went home that night and found themselves tossing and turning, their minds filled with that pagoda meat. They were woken in the dead of night by a craving for the pagoda meat from their dreams. In the dream, the pagoda meat was so close, their chopsticks had already touched the tip of the pagoda, but then they woke up!
This was unbearable. They couldn’t get back to sleep at all, feeling as if the taste of the pagoda meat still lingered on their tongues. After waking up, they slapped their thighs, thinking this wouldn’t do. Tomorrow, they had to buy a portion for themselves, and they had to slip away immediately. They absolutely couldn’t be like that person today, forced to share with others.
It was because this thought kept swirling in the old customers’ heads that even more people showed up today.
Today was Thursday, so there shouldn’t have been many people, but everyone’s enthusiasm was too high, causing Sun Miao’s stall area to be packed. And the involution was intensifying. Zhou Ling’s Mother’s close female friend had shared one with Zhou Ling’s Mother yesterday and felt she hadn’t eaten enough, so she came again today at 8 AM.
But good heavens, this time she couldn’t even get in line. One glance was enough to know she wouldn’t get a turn.
Even the Hip-hop Yabi Duo had grim expressions, realizing that first place was out of the question; they couldn’t even buy one. Seeing the situation, Zhou Ling’s Mother’s close female friend gave up on queuing and walked over to the Hip-hop Yabi Duo. “What time did you guys get here today? It’s rare to see you not get a spot.”
“Same as yesterday, 6 AM.”
The stall opened at 10 AM, and they were lining up at 6 AM. If they couldn’t get first place, who could? With that kind of perseverance, they could succeed at anything.
But what shocked Zhou Ling’s Mother’s close female friend even more was: No way, they came at 6 AM and couldn’t even get into the top 20?! Zhou Ling’s Mother’s close female friend looked carefully and saw there were only about twenty-three people in front of them. She immediately said, “Maybe some people will pool an order today, you might get a turn.”
Hip-hop Mei shook her head. “No chance. We just asked around. Everyone plans to buy a whole portion for themselves; no one’s pooling orders. Look at the person in twenty-first place, the anxiety on his face is so obvious.”
Zhou Ling’s Mother’s close female friend followed her gaze and looked up. It was exactly as Hip-hop Mei had said. The person in twenty-first place couldn’t hide the anxiety on his face at all. Clearly, he was still clinging to the thought of what if I actually get a turn? and was rooted in the line, unwilling to leave.
After some small talk, Zhou Ling’s Mother’s close female friend said, “They got here so early. I wonder what time they came.”
Hip-hop Mei nodded resentfully. “I know, right! And what’s the point of coming so early? All they know is involution. Doesn’t this just make the queuing time earlier and earlier? What’s the need!”
This remark made Zhou Ling’s Mother’s close female friend look at her with a speechless expression. She had the nerve to say that? As if coming four hours early at 6 AM wasn’t involution!
After a few more words, Zhou Ling’s Mother’s close female friend sighed. She scanned the line in front of her again and, seeing no one she knew, had originally planned to leave. Out of curiosity, she asked, “Why aren’t you guys leaving yet?”
Hip-hop Mei replied, “What if Little Boss Sun has a burst of kindness and makes a few extra portions today? Then wouldn’t I get a turn?”
“…” The possibility of that was practically zero.
But it wasn’t entirely impossible. After all, Little Boss Sun was a good person. If something like that really happened and she had already left, wouldn’t that be a huge loss? So she thought for a moment and returned to the line. It was one thing for the person in twenty-fourth place to think that way, but for her, who was beyond fiftieth place, to harbor such a thought was truly hopeless.
Even more ridiculously, there were people queuing behind Zhou Ling’s Mother’s close female friend.
Of course, not everyone was indulging in wild fantasy like Zhou Ling’s Mother’s close female friend. Some were thinking, What if the people in front have to leave for some reason? Then I’ll get a turn, right? Others held to the belief that, since we’re already here…, we might as well protest to Little Boss Sun in person about the small portions before we go.
In short, contrary to all expectations, very few people actually left.
This was what caused the crowd to be even bigger than the day before. Sun Miao was shocked when she arrived. She even saw Father Su in the crowd. Father Su clearly saw her too but quickly averted his gaze, pretending not to have seen her.
It was only when Sun Miao started setting up her stall to sell that she understood why Father Su hadn’t left despite being so far back in line—because his company’s HR director was queuing right at the front. The HR director was obviously aware that his own Big Boss was watching from behind, and his smile was a bit strained as he paid.
The author has something to say:
“since we’re already here…”, “the person is already dead…”10, “it’s the Lunar New Year…”11, “they’re just a child…”12
You’ll always be hard-controlled13 by these.
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