Peaches and Plums Don’t Speak – Chapter 3

Voice

“What did you say? You’re going abroad?”

“…Yes. Keep your voice down, and don’t look at me like that. It’s your turn to take care of the child.”

“…What do you mean, ‘my turn’? We never had that kind of agreement, okay? It was your family who took the child and even had her take the surname Tao.”

“Wasn’t that because of your snobbish parents and you! Now that my dad is gone, I’m telling you, it’s your responsibility now!”

“Hmph, I’m irresponsible? You say that like you’ve ever raised that child yourself. You only ever pushed her off on your dad. Now that your dad’s dead, you can’t wait to get rid of this burden…”

“Keep your voice down…”

The voices outside the door rose and fell like a spring, suppressed when they got too high, only to bounce back up again. They grew sharper and sharper, making it impossible not to hear.

The apartment Tao Zhenzhen lived in was in an Old Residential Complex.¹ It only had one bedroom and one living room, but it was kept clean and elegant, with floral curtains, a hand-woven cotton rug, and meticulously cared-for potted plants. A warm atmosphere filled every corner.

Tao Anzhi was alone in the bedroom. The two adults outside thought that with the door closed, they could discuss her fate in the living room without any restraint.

If only I didn’t understand so many words, Tao Anzhi thought.

As she sat there, she started to feel a little hot. The clothes Tao Zhenzhen had bought for her weren’t comfortable at all; the sleeves and skirt were too long, but the collar was too tight. She knew there was a white remote control, and if she pressed it, that “air conditioner” thing on the wall would start to turn, and the room would get cool.

But it seemed to be in the living room.

If I just walk out there, will the two of them in the living room stop fighting? Tao Anzhi wondered.

They were very good-looking, but the sound of their voices was so ugly.

She had no impression of her parents, nor much of a concept of them. She only knew that the auntie who was her neighbor in the village would fuss over her own child, one moment saying they weren’t wearing enough clothes, the next that they were eating too little. The parents on the high-speed rail would softly comfort their child who had motion sickness.

Their expressions when facing their children were all so natural, so real. So were their voices.

“Grandfather.”²

Tao Anzhi called out softly into the air.

She lowered her head and stroked the little bunny backpack on her knees, feeling the bunny’s long ears.

Would she be like Alice from the fairy tales? Would the little bunny jump up and take her into a tree hole?

Would she become very, very small? If she could, she’d hide inside and never come out again.

But hiding was useless. The two people outside seemed to have completely torn face skin.³

“My parents spent their lives teaching books and nurturing people,⁴ and every cent they earned was clean. Not like your family, Chen Muqi. Do I need to remind you that your family has been digging coal for three generations? How much black-hearted money⁵ have you earned? If I had any other choice, would I let Anzhi go with you?”

“Yes, yes, you’re from a family of scholarly fragrance,⁶ so the child should go with you, right? How could a black-hearted family like mine possibly raise a child?”

“Chen Muqi, are you even a man? You’re asking me to give up my future? I’m not like you. I only have myself…” Tao Zhenzhen’s voice was already choked with tears.

Chen Muqi’s voice was helpless. “…It’s not that I’m unwilling, Zhenzhen… I already have a girlfriend…” Then he said:

“How about… we send her to…”

His voice trailed off.

Tao Anzhi clamped her hands over her ears, her small shoulders trembling. She only felt the room getting hotter and hotter, the collar of her dress growing tighter and tighter, so stuffy it made her panic and want to scream.

She didn’t scream. Instead, the doorbell rang.

Then, she heard a gentle, clear voice: “Zhenzhen, I called but you didn’t pick up. The documents for the students who got the study abroad slots were delivered to the dorm…”

“…Thank you, Yan Xi.”

They began to chat softly about something. Tao Zhenzhen had been away from school for a few days and was afraid of missing some important notices.

Tao Anzhi was drawn in by this voice. She walked over and secretly peeked through a crack in the door. It was a tall woman wearing a white shirt, light blue jeans, and flat shoes.

Her back was to her as she spoke with Tao Zhenzhen, using words she didn’t understand, vaguely like “hu zhao”⁷ and “qian zheng.”⁸

Her voice was beautiful. It was like last summer, when her grandfather had taken her fishing in a mountain stream, like the cool, clear sound of spring water murmuring over rocks.

Chen Muqi, standing to the side, interrupted them impatiently. “Hey, hold on. Let’s get this straight first—what are we going to do about the child? Don’t think you can just leave with a single step⁹ like this.”

Tao Zhenzhen froze, then turned to confront him. “I wasn’t the one who left with a single step back then…”

The two of them were young and full of vital energy,¹⁰ not yet ready to be parents. They had grown weary of the sight of each other, using the child as a sharp weapon to wound the other, holding nothing back.

Chen Muqi said awkwardly, “Can’t you have some shame? Can you at least wait until your classmate leaves to talk about this?”

“I’m not afraid of being shameless. The entire university knows I met a scum man,¹¹ gave birth to a daughter out of wedlock, and dropped out. Luckily, I worked hard and got back in. If it weren’t for that, I would’ve graduated long ago…”

Chen Muqi, completely enraged by her tone that was neither yin nor yang,¹² said the one thing that could wound a woman most deeply: “I didn’t force you to sleep with me!…”

That jab drew blood and flesh.¹³ Tao Zhenzhen’s lips instantly turned white, and she trembled for a long time, unable to speak.

The moment the words left his mouth, Chen Muqi knew he’d gone too far, but he didn’t want to apologize. He simply sat off to the side, sulking.

The room fell quiet. Before Tao Anzhi could even catch her breath, she heard the woman in the white shirt say, “Zhenzhen, I’m going to head out.”
Then she turned around and happened to see Tao Anzhi peeking through the crack in the door.

Many years later, whenever Tao Anzhi recalled this moment, she would be incredibly grateful that she had opened that crack in the door.

Later, after she came to understand Yan Xi’s personality, she guessed that she had genuinely intended to leave. Because she was the kind of person who was so tactful and measured, so courteous and restrained, and who placed great importance on others’ privacy.

Anzhi clearly remembered when she turned around—a plain face, free of any powder or makeup. With the vocabulary she had at the time, she couldn’t fully describe how beautiful she was.

She only saw that when their eyes met, the woman’s brow furrowed slightly. She turned her head to the side and said, “The child is still in the room, and you’re fighting like this?”

She approached and crouched down in front of her, her clear, bright eyes filled with a faint, gentle smile. “Hello.”

Then she said, “My name is Yan Xi. I’m a friend of your mother’s. What’s your name?”

Finally, Tao Anzhi thought, someone noticed she was a child, but didn’t treat her as just a child.

Tao Anzhi said, “Anzhi. Tao Anzhi.”

Meanwhile, she wondered, How do you write Yan Xi? Which yan? Which xi?

The woman’s gaze softened even more. A small smile lifted the corners of her lips, and her voice was cool and pleasant. “That’s a really nice name.”

She turned her head slightly and said, “Zhenzhen, I’m taking Anzhi downstairs for some fresh air. It’s too hot in here.” Because she was turned at a slight angle, the living room sunlight shone through, making her long eyelashes tremble slightly. They looked fluffy, like they would be very nice to touch.

Then she turned her head, extended a fair, slender hand to Tao Anzhi, took hers, and led her out as if it were the most natural thing in the world.

Tao Anzhi was stunned for a long time. She stared at their joined hands, then turned to look back at the closed door. She didn’t have to listen to any more of the fighting.

Was it all because of this person named Yan Xi? She looked up at her. So tall. From this angle, she could see the jade-white line of her jaw.

Suddenly, the woman looked down, smiled at her, and said, “Do you want to press the elevator button?”

Tao Anzhi stared at her blankly, then gave another blank nod. The first time she came, she had indeed been curious about that metal door, but she hadn’t dared to ask Tao Zhenzhen about it. In the two days since, they hadn’t gone downstairs again; all their food had been takeout.

“Go press the down arrow…” The woman let go of her hand.

Tao Anzhi walked to the elevator door, looked at the two arrows, then looked back at her. The woman smiled slightly. She turned back, thought for a moment, stood on her tiptoes, and pressed the button, making it light up.

The red number next to the button flashed, and she could hear a faint rumbling sound. A moment later, with a ding, the shiny metal doors slid open.

Tao Anzhi’s little face lit up. Her mouth fell slightly open as she let out a soft, “Wa.”

Inside the elevator, Tao Anzhi pressed the button for the 1st floor. The elevator rumbled, and she could feel the sensation of descending. The woman took her hand again. Tao Anzhi was very happy and shyly lowered her head. The hand wrapped around hers was warm and delicate, incredibly comfortable.

She was led along, one slow step at a time. Their footsteps were soft.

Tao Anzhi secretly zoned out, suddenly wondering, Could this person be my real mom?

The Old Residential Complex Tao Zhenzhen rented in was converted from a former Large Courtyard.¹⁴ The environment was quiet and serene, yet it had a strong breath of smoke and fire.¹⁵ There were several old trees downstairs, with marble tables and chairs set up beneath them for people to enjoy the shade.

Tao Anzhi and Yan Xi, one big and one small, sat on the chairs. Anzhi was holding the crispy-skin ice cream bar¹⁶ she had bought for her. The ice cream bar was shaped like a fish. The outer layer was a crispy, black hazelnut chocolate, and the filling inside was a white, milky flavor that was even colder and softer.

Tao Anzhi ate with great delight.

“Is it good?” Yan Xi asked her. She was holding a bottle of mineral water. She twisted it open, tilted her head back slightly, and swallowed a mouthful, the muscles in her jade-white neck moving.

Tao Anzhi had already bitten off a large corner of the crispy-skin ice cream bar. She had just taken a new bite and was holding it in her mouth when she heard the question. With her cheeks puffed out, she nodded vigorously.

The warmth inside her mouth melted the ice cream, creating a wonderfully strange warm-and-cold sensation. Tao Anzhi couldn’t resist taking another bite.

Suddenly, that slender hand picked up a tissue and wiped the corner of her mouth. Up close, she could see how delicate her fingers were; even the bent knuckles were smooth and lustrous.

“How old are you? Four?”

…

Tao Anzhi lowered her head, a little dejected. “…Six.”

After saying that, feeling a bit awkward, she took the wooden stick left over from the ice cream bar and the tissue, walked a few steps, and threw them in the trash can.

When she walked back and looked at the woman, it seemed she had noticed her slight awkwardness. She smiled lightly and raised a hand to gently pat her on the head.

The pat made Tao Anzhi extremely shy. She even wanted to rub her cheek against her hand.

How wonderful would it be if this person was really her mom?

But her surname was Yan, second tone. Salt? Face? Speak?

Xi, first tone. West? Rest? Stream?

…That was it. She couldn’t think of any other characters.

She knew too few characters to even know how to write those two words.

She secretly glanced at her just as a light breeze blew past, lifting a few strands of hair at her temple. Then she smelled a faint, elusive fragrance in the air.

It smelled wonderful.

The woman noticed her looking, turned her head to smile at her, then twisted open her water bottle and took a drink.

After a moment, something in her pants pocket seemed to ring. She took out a little white block. Tao Anzhi blinked. This must be what the adults called a “mobile phone.”

Maybe someone is looking for her. Is she going to leave?

Anzhi’s heart suddenly filled with reluctance, and she stared at her eagerly.

The woman silenced the phone and put it back in her pocket.

After a moment, when Anzhi saw that she didn’t get up, she suddenly understood.

She was staying with her.

They were also one big and one small, each occupying a stone chair. There was no conversation.

Maybe she’s not a very talkative person, Anzhi thought. Or maybe she doesn’t know what to talk about with a little kid like me.

Feelings are such a strange thing, little Tao Anzhi thought. For the past few days, she had been living in fear, terror, and anxiety, but she couldn’t let any of it show. Because she knew her mother didn’t like her.

But now, next to a stranger whose name she couldn’t even spell, she felt completely at ease. She had even eaten an ice cream bar that this strange woman had bought for her.

Because she had taken her hand.

The early autumn wind still carried a bit of summer warmth. For some reason, Anzhi’s heart suddenly grew calm.

---

The author has something to say:

I remember eating a kind of crispy-skin ice cream bar when I was little. It was shaped like a fish. Or was that when I was a teenager? Mah… I’m getting old, I can’t remember clearly.

To be continued tomorrow.

---

---