Peaches and Plums Don’t Speak – Chapter 2

Parents

The journey was bumpy. The car jolted, and Tao Zhenzhen groggily opened her eyes, only then realizing she had fallen asleep.

After handling all the funeral arrangements, she was deciding on the spot. She locked up the old house, left a key with an elder she had known since childhood, and entrusted her with looking after the place. Then, she called for a car from the village to take her to the high-speed rail station.

She glanced out the car window. The weather was perfect—a bright, sunny day. The sky was high and blue, the azure sky as if washed clean. It was rare to see a sky like this in Beicheng.

She took a few more looks before her gaze fell on the little girl sleeping beside her.

Porcelain-white skin, soft black hair—all of that was like her. As for whether the girl’s features resembled her more or that other person, she had never studied them closely. In fact, for years, she had deliberately ignored her existence. What little she knew came from her Father over the phone. Even after intentionally filtering it all, she could still recall many details.

“She couldn’t talk at two, but at least she was strong on her feet.”

“We named her Anzhi,¹ hoping that whatever she encounters in the future, she can be at peace with it and go with the flow.”

“She can talk now, she just doesn’t like to. To get her to talk more, I spent time the other day making her recite Tang poetry,² just like you.”

“The child’s very smart, just too quiet… Do you want to say a few words to her?”

Every time, she would fall silent. After listening, she would change the subject. Her Father, on the other end, would also be quiet for a few seconds before following her lead.

Occasionally, he would joke, “I wonder who she gets this quiet, introverted personality from?”

She didn’t know. She wasn’t like that herself. Since she was young, she had been competitive and driven, loved to communicate, and was filled with a desire to express herself. She skipped a grade in elementary school to get into the best middle school in town, and for the college entrance exams, she tested into one of the best universities in the country, in the Imperial Capital,³ Beicheng.

If it weren’t for accidentally meeting Chen Muqi and having a child after a moment of foolishness…

She hadn’t planned on keeping it. She was only a freshman then; her dreams hadn’t even taken flight. She had never even considered being an unmarried mother. Besides, Chen Muqi was a coward. His face turned white with fear when he heard she was pregnant. He didn’t even dare to say whether he wanted the child or not. The look in his parents’ eyes made her feel like a leech desperately trying to latch onto their son.

Only her Father stood up and said one thing: “The child belongs to the Tao Clan.”

Tao Zhenzhen’s eyes stung. Her Father was the most responsible man she had ever met. He had taken her home back then, unafraid of the rumors and gossip, and had never said a single harsh word to her about it. After the child was born, he asked a former student who now worked at the police station to get her registered under the Tao Clan’s Hukou.⁴ He loved this child just as he loved her.

But she herself was unwilling to face this child. She wouldn’t even bring her up voluntarily. Because she was the dark history left behind from a time when she was unclear in judging people, she was the condescending, looking down from a high position gaze of Chen Muqi’s parents, she was what turned her from “other people’s children”⁵ into a “fallen girl who didn’t love herself and got pregnant out of wedlock.”

At this thought, a wave of irritation rose in Tao Zhenzhen’s heart. She glanced at the child again and found that she had woken up at some point and was now quietly staring at her.

Those eyes had very dark, watery pupils. Almond eyes and delicate brows, they gave her a deeply familiar feeling.

The restlessness in her heart intensified. She is, after all, flesh of my flesh—a fact that can’t be concealed, no matter how much I deny it.

The child didn’t speak, just kept looking at her quietly.

She turned her face away.

They arrived at the high-speed rail station in silence. Tao Zhenzhen pushed the door open and got out. The driver was from her hometown, a dark, skinny young man. He got her suitcase for her and stubbornly refused to take her money.

Tao Zhenzhen, in a white dress that accentuated her waist and chest, was as beautiful as a flowing ray of light, attracting countless gazes.

The simple, honest young man stole several glances at her before leaving, satisfied.

The car drove away, leaving behind two females, one large and one small. The older one looked weary, her hand resting on the suitcase; the younger one, small and delicate, wore a little rabbit backpack.

Before entering the station, Tao Zhenzhen looked back one last time, knowing in her heart that she would never return.

She lifted her head and said, “Let’s go.”

Tao Anzhi followed her with small steps, her little backpack on. She was very thin and small, and having never been to a place like this, she found it noisy and strange. She looked up at the woman. One of her hands was pulling the suitcase, the other was empty, her fingers soft and white.

She waited for a long time, but even after they boarded the train car, that hand never reached out to take hers.

They were in second-class seats, which weren’t crowded. Next to them was a young couple with a little boy of three or four. The boy wasn’t used to train travel and threw up not long after they started moving. He looked at his parents with red-rimmed eyes. His mother comforted him, “It’s okay, baby. Mother will ask the attendant Auntie to come clean it up.”

His father stroked his head, and after helping to clean up, he held him on his lap and watched the “Cat and Mouse”⁶ cartoon with him. His mother smiled as she gave him water to drink.

Tao Anzhi watched them for a long time. She couldn’t help but glance to her side. The woman was turned slightly away, a pair of sunglasses covering most of her face. She had long since fallen asleep.

Anzhi turned her head back, hugged the little backpack to her chest, paused for a moment, and then simply buried her face in it.

After two days in Beicheng, Tao Zhenzhen finally managed to contact Chen Muqi. It took her three phone calls for him to fully digest the fact that “one of them had to take responsibility for the child.”

After finally arranging a time to meet and discuss it, she put down the phone and let out a long breath.

She had graduated this year, passed the GRE with a high score, and had even been accepted by a good university in California. She had finally gotten onto the path she wanted to walk, and no one could stop her. She had to do everything in her power to make Chen Muqi take the child.

So she was cruel, she admitted it. She refused to make much eye contact with the child. The child was also very quiet, just as her Father had said, never making a fuss. She did whatever she was told and ate whatever she was given. She was so quiet she had no presence at all.

Except for after putting on the new clothes she had bought for her, she tugged on the sleeve and said softly, “It’s too big…”

Tao Zhenzhen glanced over. The sleeves were a whole section too long, and the hem of the dress was also too long. She frowned. The salesclerk had clearly told her it was for a six-year-old.

Tao Zhenzhen sized her up. The child’s height really didn’t seem like a six-year-old’s. She was too short.

Wait, she suddenly thought, in the countryside, they count by Xusui.⁷ By that count, she’s only five, but she’s still too short.

For a moment, she was speechless. She squatted down and rolled up both of her sleeves twice. After a pause, she said, “You have to buy them a little bigger so they can be worn longer…”

Then, for some reason, she added, “Kids grow fast… so you usually buy their clothes bigger…”

Tao Anzhi looked at her and nodded her little head. “Grandfather said that too…”

Tao Zhenzhen’s hands paused as a warm feeling bloomed in her heart. After a few seconds, she said, “Grandfather just passed away not long ago, so we can’t wear clothes that are too bright… We’ll… buy more… later…”

In the end, she couldn’t bring herself to say, “I’ll buy you more later.”

Because a promise, once spoken, must be kept. She could only muddle through it vaguely.

A faint light flickered in Tao Anzhi’s eyes. Her little mouth curved up, and she nodded her little head again.

Tao Zhenzhen stood up, feeling uncomfortable.

Just then, the doorbell rang, giving her a timely way out.

Tao Zhenzhen went to open the door.

Tao Anzhi peeked out from behind her, carefully sizing up the visitor. He was about five-foot-nine, with slightly long, wavy hair. He wore a white t-shirt and jeans with a large ripped hole in each leg, stained with a bit of ink. He looked handsome and clean, but because he was so thin, he had a frail, artistic air about him.

His skin was very pale, almost comparable to Tao Zhenzhen’s. Meeting her eyes, he scratched his hair and offered an awkward smile. “Hey…”

Tao Zhenzhen’s expression was a mixture of coldness and melancholy. She nodded. “Come in…”

The moment Chen Muqi stepped inside, he saw a little girl standing in the living room. She was wearing a black dress with a white collar and tie, looking up at him with a pair of curious, watery black eyes, her cheeks rosy. She was like a small, delicate flower bud just emerging from the surface of a spring pond.

Chen Muqi took a hesitant step forward and bent down.

Tao Zhenzhen’s voice rang out. “Anzhi, this is your Father.”

Chen Muqi flinched as if he’d been stung. He rubbed his hands together and forced a smile, saying dryly, “Hey… Anzhi…”

Anzhi blinked, her little hands fidgeting with the hem of her dress. Just as she opened her mouth, she saw the man in front of her stiffly turn his face away. She froze.

Chen Muqi was so embarrassed he wanted to find a hole to crawl into. What a joke. I feel like I haven’t even grown up myself, and now I’m supposed to be a “Father”?

Well, it wasn’t sudden. He had been a father for a long time, but after Tao Zhenzhen was taken back by her father that year, he hadn’t heard much news. He went through an initial period of trembling with fear, but slowly, he began to tie it up and place it on a high shelf.⁸ Over time, it was as if he had truly forgotten about it.

A joke. I’ve never thought about kids or marriage. My two older brothers are already married with four kids between them. My parents, my brothers—they’re all business people, coarse people. Only I, from a very young age, have wanted to be a painter, even changing my name to Muqi.⁹ The “Qi” is for Qi Baishi.¹⁰

It was really just bad luck. It was just one simple sexual act, and I used protection. Who knew that the “protection” was completely unreliable? My “seed” took root and sprouted in Tao Zhenzhen’s fertile soil, and now, it’s become this living, breathing, impossible-to-ignore “fruit” in front of me.

Before coming, Chen Muqi had been terrified. Tao Zhenzhen’s dad is dead. She’s not going to push the kid onto me, is she?

Speaking of which, between the two of us, Tao Zhenzhen’s guardianship conditions are far better than mine. She’s a graduate of a prestigious university with excellent grades. She can definitely find a good job, so taking care of a child would surely be not under discussion.¹¹

But me? Although my family is rich, that’s my parents’ money. I still get a monthly allowance from them. My limbs aren’t diligent, I can’t distinguished five grains,¹² I’ve failed to get into the Beicheng Academy of Fine Arts after several attempts. I’m now studying under a famous painter in the industry, and the annual tuition alone is two hundred thousand, not to mention the constant need to go out collecting wind¹³ for inspiration. I simply have neither the time nor the means to care for a small child.

He had gone over these points again and again before coming, until his mind was slightly at ease.

Yes, this child absolutely can’t stay with me.

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