Delusions
“…What are you here for?”
Moving forward with evident reluctance, Qiao Yu walked up to Li Hua. With a flick of her wrist, she stuffed the ice cream she bought for Lin Qing, bag and all, into her backpack and asked with a frown, “What brought you here—?”
Li Hua glanced behind them, a look of disappointment crossing his face. “I came to find Lin Qing. She’s not with you guys?”
Qiao Yu and Lu Yao exchanged a look, then both said to him in a friendly tone.
“She went home a long time ago.”
“Yeah, yeah, Lin Qing is really busy, no time to hang around the school.”
“Ah, that’s a bummer. Looks like you made a wasted trip here today—”
“That’s a lie!”
Li Hua interrupted their corroborative excuse righteously, pointing at the backpack on Qiao Yu’s chest.
“That’s Lin Qing’s backpack! I recognize it!”
“…I know? I’ll send Lin Qing a new one later.”
Feeling a chill from Li Hua’s certainty, Qiao Yu didn’t bother pretending anymore and spoke bluntly.
“I really don’t like you, but let me just ask you one thing.”
“Does Lin Qing know about your sudden visit today?”
Li Hua’s face turned a shade paler, and he looked away, mumbling, “She… she blocked me…”
Lu Yao clicked his tongue in a reflective manner and commented, “Man, you really don’t make yourself likable, do you?” Hearing this, Qiao Yu felt inappropriately pleased but still kept a stern face and said with a hint of sarcasm:
“I think it’s important for one to be self-aware.”
“With your interpersonal relationship already this messed up, why are you still looking for Lin Qing?”
During their conversation, quite a few students who were done with school took notice. The more daring ones even stopped in their tracks to gawk from a distance. Li Hua clutched the straps of his backpack tightly, his knuckles whitening from his grip. He hung his head without responding to Qiao Yu’s remark and looked frail and helpless, like a victim standing in front of Qiao Yu and Lu Yao, who both wore unfriendly expressions.
“…Is that Class 1’s Qiao Yu?”
“Yeah, it seems like it. Check out the bruise on her hand. I heard she beat up two burly men so bad that her hands turned purple.”
“Is that dude in front of her about to get a beating too?”
The whispers of the onlookers floated over to them. Qiao Yu found it hard to save face when she heard Lu Yao snickering on the side.
“…Qiao Yu really has quite the fierce reputation, huh.”
Qiao Yu was also troubled; this was probably all because her earlier statement had been spread around and blown up into something more vicious, and those who were gossiping actually took the initiative to come to her – even more people than she had called out. They were like mice who had seen a cat, owning up to their mistakes with utmost sincerity, and some even started bawling their eyes out in front of her, leaving Qiao Yu standing there with her hands up, trying to prove her innocence.
All these incidents led to her reputation growing stronger. Now, at this spot, the crowd already thinks she’s about to hit Li Hua and starts gathering for the spectacle. Qiao Yu and Lu Yao felt restricted by all the onlookers, as if it was them who were in the wrong.
And the key person, Li Hua, wouldn’t say half a word. In response to all questions, he just insisted on seeing Lin Qing, adamantly refusing to budge from his spot. Qiao Yu’s temper flared up, and she began to contemplate resorting to fight fire with fire.
“Qiao Yu?”
Just then, a familiar voice called out from the school gate, making Qiao Yu inwardly sigh that she was still not quick enough. But as she turned her head, she saw not only Lin Qing but also Cong Ye and Mi Yi had come over.
“Didn’t you guys already leave—”
“In the library, I bumped into Lin Qing on the way out. What’s all this about?”
Mi Yi cut off Lu Yao’s words, glanced around the circle of onlookers, and finally fixed her gaze on an elated Li Hua. She blinked a few times before remembering who he was and turned to Lin Qing with a quizzical eyebrow raise.
“Here looking for you?”
Lin Qing’s expression was less than pleased. She didn’t even glance at Li Hua, walked straight to Qiao Yu, retrieved her backpack, and then said softly, “You’ve been waiting for a long time, haven’t you? Let’s go.”
“Ah, well, I haven’t been waiting that long…”
Speaking words that somehow felt like cliché lines from a date, Qiao Yu was a bit stunned. Then she saw Lin Qing smile at her, take her hand, and walk out without a sideways glance, acting as if Li Hua didn’t exist.
“Wait, wait a moment!”
Li Hua, who had been eagerly waiting for Lin Qing to appear, was not willing to just let her go like that. He shouted as he tried to burst forward to confront them but was quickly restrained from behind by Cong Ye who reacted swiftly. Lu Yao also rushed to help, earnestly telling him to take a hint that if someone doesn’t want to pay attention to you, let it be and don’t be insistent, in an attempt to persuade Li Hua.
“No, I can’t… Lin Qing, I have something to say, something I want to tell you!”
Lin Qing stopped in her tracks, her eyes and brows carrying a hint of anger, and turned her head to look at Li Hua as if he were a stranger.
“I have nothing to say to you. If you don’t leave now, I’m going to call security.”
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“Don’t be like this, I just want one chance!”
Li Hua struggled desperately but couldn’t break free from Cong Ye and Lu Yao’s hold, only managing to shout with a desolate expression.
“Just this once! No matter what the outcome is, after I have spoken to you today, if you do not wish to see me again, I will never bother you…”
His voice choked up as he continued, gradually ceasing his struggle and hanging his head low, as if he was bearing humiliation, waiting for a verdict.
What’s going on with this guy? Isn’t that just self-satisfaction?
Qiao Yu watched with a cold, dismissive sneer.
She felt she had finally understood; this Li Hua was initially meant to be the deep, studious type in the novel, but she hadn’t expected him to lose his cool after just two appearances, turning into this. Now, seeing him trying to act all lovingly sentimental only made Qiao Yu feel disdain.
But his act was more than enough to fool the onlookers; high schoolers, who loved to gossip about romance, excitedly whispered among themselves, creating a scene that was rapidly becoming difficult to defuse.
Qiao Yu deeply regretted not having shut Li Hua up sooner.
“…”
Even Lin Qing was left speechless, a rare annoyance clearly emerging on her normally calm and composed jade-like face. She fought back her irritation, pondering that ignoring him today might lead to more pestering in the future, and reluctantly agreed.
“…Go ahead, then.”
Li Hua, upon receiving approval, was momentarily stunned, joy quickly dancing across his brows before he looked around meaningfully and asked tentatively, “Should we talk here?”
“What else? You expect to go to a café and have a private chat with Lin Qing?”
Qiao Yu felt a fire burning inside and couldn’t help but step between him and Lin Qing, glaring at him with anger in her eyes. She crossed her arms and took a defiant stance in front of him, tilting her head coldly.
“Didn’t you hear Lin Qing tell you to speak? Stop wasting time.”
Cong Yue and Lu Yao, like two lackeys, immediately let go of Li Hua. He glanced at Qiao Yu who was shielding Lin Qing so thoroughly behind him, and with indignation he dared not express, straightened his clothes. Then, with melodramatic flair, he began a monologue toward thin air.
“We have known each other for so long, and we have always gotten along so well.”
The first sentence was already a joke.
Qiao Yu rolled her eyes exaggeratedly but still contained her anger, listening as he continued on.
“But then you suddenly transferred schools, and it took me a long time to find out… that you were coming to this city—”
The second sentence turned into horror.
As soon as these words came out, Qiao Yu looked at Li Hua as if he were a stalker, vigilantly stepping a few paces away with Lin Qing in tow, her heart pounding with shock as she listened to his relentless chatter about how he had worked so hard to persuade his family to follow her here.
“…I had thought for sure that you would go to Yizhong, but who would have thought… you actually came to this school…”
Li Hua seemed completely oblivious to the peculiar looks from everyone around him, lost in his own world of sorrow, lifting his eyes to glare at Cong Yue, a hint of resentment in his gaze.
“And you’re even together with that rich second generation kid—”
“Have you said enough, dammit?”
Qiao Yu abruptly charged forward, grabbing him by the cheeks. The words behind Li Hua got stuck in his throat; he could only move his lips in vain, the resentment in his eyes flashing away, clarity returning.
Her chest heaved violently, her eyes filled with alarm and doubt. The things Li Hua had already said were enough to unsettle Qiao Yu, and now this guy was spewing nonsense without any filter—
—Spewing nonsense?!
“No, no, it’s not like that, Host. Just now, the intention was likely to use the second male lead’s words to cause a misunderstanding among everyone, and then further advance the relationship between the male and female leads—”
The system’s feeble words didn’t enter Qiao Yu’s ears; she slightly closed her eyes and released her grip.
“…Be more careful with your words.”
After murmuring this low threat, she no longer looked at Li Hua, but instead stared straight at the ground.
This is bad, Qiao Yu is not in a good place right now.
Facing Li Hua’s on-the-spot confession to Lin Qing, which should have been seen as a comical show and was bound to be rejected, Qiao Yu seemed to be more shaken than anticipated.
Sensitive, irritable, impulsive.
This is not good, definitely not a good sign.
Qiao Yu listened quietly to Li Hua’s subsequent long-winded speech, without making a sound. After that, he indeed didn’t bring up anyone else’s matters but spoke at length about how much, oh how much, he liked Lin Qing and the extent of the effort he had put in for her.
She kept adjusting her breathing but found herself increasingly suffocated and short of breath, completely unable to concentrate.
This unidentifiable irritation made Qiao Yu extremely uncomfortable; she felt like a balloon being inflated gradually, inching closer to a critical point where it might just burst.
Why?
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At such a time, Qiao Yu should have been observing Cong Ye’s reaction, but she simply didn’t have the capacity for that now. Something indistinct was desperately trying to assert its presence to her, poised to reveal its true form as soon as the balloon burst.
She didn’t want that. Her subconscious was frantically warning her, telling her she must not let it out, must not—even know what it was.
“I like you, I have… liked you for a long time now.”
Li Hua’s confession, which he believed to be filled with heartfelt affection, was finally voiced. Despite its modest volume, it rang in Qiao Yu’s head with a buzzing that drowned out everything else. She had no time to look at anyone’s expression; her mind was flooded with dark thoughts.
Is it over now? Can you leave then?
Don’t come any closer, don’t show up again, don’t bother Lin Qing anymore, or she will—
Ah, what to do, she feels like she’s about to… break.
Qiao Yu’s vision began to blur into whiteness; she closed her eyes and shook her head, disoriented, trying desperately to stave off her own abnormal state. She couldn’t have any issues now; Lin Qing still had to respond to Li Hua. She had to protect Lin Qing from him because Lin Qing would reject him, Lin Qing—
Her hand was suddenly grasped.
Someone stepped forward and stood beside her, the elegant fragrance and a gentle voice arriving together. Qiao Yu’s vision cleared slowly, like the tide receding.
“I’m sorry, I already have someone I like.”
Qiao Yu looked dazedly at Lin Qing beside her, at her incomparably delicate side profile, her jet-black hair, her exquisite eyes, and her soft lips.
“She really is a… rich second generation.”
Lin Qing left these words behind without even sparing a smile. She held Qiao Yu’s hand tightly and left straight away.
The hand she intentionally entwined her fingers with were particularly glaring in Li Hua’s eyes.
He watched Lin Qing leave, soullessly, and subconsciously wanted to follow her, but Cong Ye and the others blocked his way.
“You just said you wouldn’t bother her anymore, right? Now you want to follow her and be a third wheel—”
“Huh? A third wheel?”
“—Ah.”
Watching Lu Yao with a thoughtful expression, Cong Ye swallowed the rest of his words. Guiltily, he glanced around and thankfully found that his earlier words had not been noticed by the surrounding crowd, which was busy exploding with gossip. Relieved, he looked at Mi Yi for help.
Mi Yi sighed with a mix of exasperation and amusement, then waved her hand cheerily.
“Forget it, it’s not the first time you’ve let something slip anyway.”
It wasn’t until they were out of sight of the onlookers that Qiao Yu still hadn’t come back to her senses.
She felt as if she were walking with one foot lighter than the other, as though stepping on clouds; her entire being seemed dizzy and muddled, unable to grasp what had just happened.
But perhaps her heart was clear. It beat so fast that Qiao Yu worried she might faint, that vibrant blood slowly spreading to her stiff limbs, reviving her akin to a resurgence of life. It enabled her to begin trying to understand, to contemplate, to discern her peculiar condition.
At this moment, Lin Qing stopped in her tracks. Qiao Yu gazed dazedly at her, watching as she took a quiet deep breath, relaxed her tensed shoulders, and turned her head to offer Qiao Yu an apologetic smile.
“…I’m sorry for just now; that might lead to some misunderstandings.”
Thump.
A dull echo resonated within Qiao Yu.
“Misunderstanding…”
She murmurously repeated Lin Qing’s words, while Lin Qing herself, a bit embarrassed, reluctantly let go of her hand and awkwardly fidgeted with her fingers.
“I just wanted to wrap things up quickly, then we could head back and hit the books together. But looking back now, my actions might’ve…”
“…Ah.”
Qiao Yu finally snapped back to full awareness.
“Ah, ahaha, it’s all good, really. I’m not fussed about it, and I reckon nobody else is gonna think too much into it either… haha.”
She blinked in sudden realization, waving it off with a smile at Lin Qing.
“Okay, cool,” Lin Qing murmured, looking down. A moment later, she lifted her head again, her voice noticeably cheerier, “Shall we get going then?”
“Or, maybe let’s just call it a day, huh?”
Qiao Yu, however, spoke up to refuse her offer, causing Lin Qing’s heart to skip a beat. When Lin Qing looked her way, all she met were Qiao Yu’s eyes, full of concern.
“Look, after running into this mess, it’s not like we can just flip a switch and be ready to hit the books, right?”
She said it with a gentle laugh, not missing a beat.
“So how about we take the day off, sound good?”
She managed to convince Lin Qing, and tactfully declined Lin Qing’s offer to walk her home, with a laugh, “Wouldn’t that just stir the pot even more?” So they parted ways right there and then.
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Once Lin Qing was out of sight, Qiao Yu immediately headed in the opposite direction from where Lin Qing had left.
She’s aimless, not knowing where this road might lead, but she feels like she has to keep on walking. Each step feels like a massive effort, as if she’s trudging through an endless swamp with no choice but to desperately move forward.
Qiao Yu starts to feel numb, sensing the temperature around her drop slowly as she goes on. Eventually, her dragging feet catch on a raised brick, and she stumbles a few steps before coming to a stop.
Suddenly, all her strength drains away, and she just stands there, dazed.
She’s at an unfamiliar, deserted street corner. The biting November wind blows from every direction, whistling through some cold void within her, failing to stir the slightest ripple in her silent heart.
Why me, I didn’t do nothing wrong, don’t do me like this, somebody help, I can’t take this.
…I just can’t.
Qiao Yu lifts her trembling hands and buries her face in them, touching only coldness, unable to even let out a hoarse choke from her throat.
Once you let your guard down and it crumbles, you can’t ever really get it back to what it was, even if you try to rebuild it.
God gave her hope and then cruelly snatched it away, ruthlessly tearing off her clumsy disguise and throwing the stark truth in front of her, forcing her to face what she had desperately tried to ignore.
Her pathetic and hopeless love.
Qiao Yu stood on some strange street corner for ages that day until the warmth in her hands was nibbled away bit by bit by the chilly air. She’d long realized how laughable and pointless her delusions were in this world, that it took all she had just to barely keep standing in her wobbly, thin-ice life.
When she finally lowered her hands, she suddenly remembered—the ice cream in her bag, the one she’d forgotten to give to Lin Qing.
It’s melted beyond recognition now, no way to give it away.
LP: I was expecting comedy not this ( ｡ •̀ ᴖ •́ ｡)
