Novel Turned Yuri – Chapter 34

Friendship or Love

Qiao Yu had a good plan in mind, but when the time came to put it into action, she suddenly found it unexpectedly difficult to broach the subject.

Her original intention was to take advantage of the opportunity to probe Lin Qing’s intentions. After all, Lin Qing had made her feelings quite evident at the birthday party, and now was the perfect time to strike while the iron was hot. Perhaps, Qiao Yu could even uncover the reason behind Lin Qing’s evident agitation that day.

Qiao Yu’s calculations were meticulous, resonating like a well-tuned instrument, yet she miscalculated one thing: her own fear of asking the question.

That day, relying on sincerity, she had convinced Song Wanwan to temporarily go back and wait for her reply. After turning around and thinking it over calmly, Qiao Yu realized something was amiss.

It was all too easy to imagine the scene of her asking Lin Qing. The moment Qiao Yu would ask, “What does it feel like to like someone?” Lin Qing would most likely reply with a “Why do you ask?” before giving her own answer.

How should she respond when the time comes? Should she simply tell the truth and say, “I’m trying to convince Song Wanwan that her feelings towards me are merely platonic”? Where would that leave Song Wanwan’s position?

Of course, it would be easy to come up with some pretext, but…

Long ago, Qiao Yu had promised Lin Qing that she would never lie to her again. Qiao Yu really didn’t want to break the promise she had made to herself.

Thus, the situation reached a deadlock. Now two days had passed since her talk with Song Wanwan, and Qiao Yu was sitting at her bedroom desk, deep in thought.

Over these two days, Qiao Yu hadn’t been idle; she’d diligently searched the internet for information, but the more she searched, the less certain she felt.

Judging by netizens’ comments, the emotional boundaries between girls can be ambiguously blurred between friendship and love, where any level of intimacy doesn’t seem excessive and even certain physical touches can be rationalized as platonic. Exactly what kind of indescribable feelings surge beneath the surface, and at which critical point they might suddenly reveal their true nature, seems to vary from person to person, offering little in the way of reliable benchmarks.

This is the first time Qiao Yu has ever taken such a serious approach to researching and learning about emotions—yes, when she was writing romance novels, it was entirely armchair strategizing. She is profoundly grateful that her readers have not abandoned her.

After her research, though, she has come to one conclusion: Love is indeed complicated.

Qiao Yu has never been fated with love; she’s not keen on it and keeps a passive and nonchalant attitude, simply waiting in place without expectation. Now, having armed herself with some theoretical knowledge, it still seems inadequate to explain to Song Wanwan; it’s nothing but armchair strategy.

“Why not just directly refuse her then?”

“…No, doing that would just feel really unpleasant.”

What the system said might make sense; what she’s doing now might just be redundant, but Qiao Yu doesn’t want to end things hastily.

She harbors guilt towards Song Wanwan.

What Song Wanwan considers “Qiao Yu being nice to her?” For Qiao Yu, it was only the most ordinary interaction, and even such interactions were not purely intentioned—behind them lay her own unspeakable purposes, which plunged her into a deep sense of guilt over deceiving someone after that day’s conversation.

If Song Wanwan still thinks it’s love even after Qiao Yu explains everything, then Qiao Yu will seriously reject her. But before that happens, she wants to treat this matter with more caution, more sincerity, even if it’s just for her own satisfaction.

She hasn’t known Song Wanwan for long, but Qiao Yu still hopes that Song Wanwan can meet someone she truly likes, hoping to spare her from taking too many detours before that step.

After all, Song Wanwan isn’t just the second female lead in a book; she’s a living, breathing person in this world.

The system fell silent for a long while, not quite understanding and then remarked, “Human emotions are somewhat difficult to comprehend.”

“What, in your system’s view, does love means?”

“It is the massive secretion of dopamine.”

“I see.”

The system’s earnest response brought a chuckle out of Qiao Yu, easing her troubled mood a bit. She gathered her spirits to ponder what she should do next, given her lack of results from the information search.

Just then, her phone vibrated twice—it was a message from Cong Ye.

Qiao Yu opened the message and saw that he had shared an article from a public account, titled 《Loyal love is the only kind that lasts》.

…What is this, has Cong Ye’s account been hacked?

As Qiao Yu was pondering in confusion, Cong Ye sent another message, which dispelled her doubts.

Cong Ye: I’ve been reading some articles lately.

Cong Ye: I think they’re very well written, so I’m sharing one with you.

What’s with this guy? Why is he talking like a middle-aged dad in his 50s?

Qiao Yu sent over three question marks in her confusion, and then asked.

Qiao Yu: Why are you spending time on this stuff? Have you started to take an interest in love lately?

She had said it half in jest, for to her, Cong Ye seemed like an iron tree that would bloom only when the cows came home. Yet, Cong Ye’s swift reply truly took her aback.

Cong Ye: You could say that.

Qiao Yu sprang up from her seat.

This was big news! The romantic male lead was showing interest in love, and there could only be one explanation for this!

Trembling, Qiao Yu typed: Have you fallen for someone?

Her mind a whirl with thoughts, she suddenly felt as though she’d grasped a lifeline—yes, that’s right, she had no obligation to be entirely truthful with Cong Ye. Why not seek information from him? Unbeknownst to her, the story had progressed to a stage of mutual secret crushes—

Cong Ye: Huh? No, not at all.

The straw she’d clung to broke in less than five seconds.

Qiao Yu’s heart, just warming up, suddenly turned cold. She silently sat back down, ignoring Cong Ye, only to see his side bombarding her with messages at a startling speed. They were mostly trying to say, “I was just looking casually, how could you misunderstand like this, Qiao Yu? You’re not doubting me, are you? You heartless thing,” Really, she had no idea what he was rattling on about.

She left Cong Ye hanging for a short while, but then he called her directly. The phone buzzed and buzzed, disturbing Qiao Yu’s peace, forcing her to pick up the call somewhat reluctantly, only to be shouted at by Cong Ye, which made her frown deeply.

“Qiao Yu, why aren’t you replying to me?”

“…I didn’t see.”

“You’re talking nonsense!”

Cong Ye grumbled and huffed for a while before he caught his breath and began to earnestly assure her.

“I absolutely don’t have someone I like! I was just looking around! Got it?”

“…Oh.”

Why do you sound like you’re saying to me, “Look, aren’t I great?”

Qiao Yu, as always, found Cong Ye’s thoughts mystifying and decided not to dwell on them any further.

Now that this guy had come to her of his own accord, she figured it wouldn’t hurt to consult him about the problem that was bothering her. There was nothing to lose.

“I just happen to have a little problem recently.”

“Um, you speak.”

“Due to certain reasons, I need to find someone to ask about love-related matters, but I can’t reveal the actual reason to the person I’m asking, nor can I lie to her. How should I break this situation?”

Cong Ye across the line fell silent all of a sudden, the silence lasted so long that Qiao Yu glanced at the screen to confirm the call was still ongoing. Then he spoke, his voice carrying a hint of deep emotion.

“…You have someone you like?”

His tone was quite strange, it felt like he was suppressing a burst of joy while trying to appear nonchalant, Qiao Yu blinked in confusion.

“Huh? No, I do not.”

“……”

Cong Ye fell silent again for a while, then with a persuasive tone, he said.

“Qiao Yu, you can rest assured, I am very tight-lipped and will absolutely not let anything slip—”

“No, really, there isn’t anyone.”

The two of them went back and forth for quite a while until Cong Ye finally gave up with a sigh.

“……I understand now, it seems I haven’t earned your trust yet, the kind you’re talking about. I’ll keep trying.”

“Huh? What kind of trust?”

Qiao Yu always felt like their conversation was like chickens talking to ducks—getting nowhere. But it seemed Cong Ye didn’t plan to dwell on this topic any longer, his tone tinged with sadness as he responded to her previous question.

“Regarding your situation, I think this can be done——”

During the physical education class the next day, during the free activity period, Qiao Yu eagerly took Lin Qing to a secluded corner of the stands. She diligently wiped the seat clean before pulling Lin Qing to sit down.

The matter of Song Wanwan really couldn’t be delayed any longer; if she put it off, the week would be over, and it would be quite rude of her.

Just yesterday, Qiao Yu even thought about desperately seeking advice, considering asking her parents who seemed to have a good relationship. But as soon as she started, she was bombarded with a barrage of questions about the ins and outs of the matter, scaring her into fleeing back to her room and locking the door.

In the end, she still had to rely on Lin Qing. Reflecting on Cong Ye’s guidance from the phone call yesterday, Qiao Yu mustered her courage and began.

“Lin Qing, there’s something I want to ask.”

Suddenly pulled aside by her, Lin Qing nodded, and her gentle, attentive demeanor gave Qiao Yu quite a bit of courage.

“I, I have a friend who wants to know what it feels like to like someone in a romantic sense…”

Qiao Yu, seeing Lin Qing stunned and silent, hurriedly and anxiously added a few more words.

“That is, how should one differentiate between friendship and love? Ah, it’s really my friend who’s asking, okay?”

Yes, this was the “genius” strategy (that’s how he put it) from Cong Ye.

According to his reasoning, as long as one says that, the other person would never pry further; it’s practically a magic spell!

‘But won’t this be misunderstood to suggest that I’m actually referring to myself…’

‘Huh? But aren’t you telling the truth?’

…Indeed, Qiao Yu hadn’t spoken a half-truth; this strategy was nothing but a bet on Lin Qing’s ability to understand others. Even if she won the bet, Lin Qing would think she had lied in her heart. Being honest was really a plan full of holes, bound to displease both ends.

But since Qiao Yu couldn’t come up with any other plan, she had to go with this! When the time came in the future when she could fully explain everything, she would clarify it all to Lin Qing!

True to expectations, Lin Qing’s expression turned odd after listening, repeating uncertainly.

“…Friend?”

“Yes, friend.”

Qiao Yu sat with proper posture, striving to make herself appear more convincing.

Lin Qing stared at her for a long moment, then turned her head down, her hand resting on her knee unconsciously curling up.

“Why… come to ask me?”

Her voice was light and airy, and the question caught Qiao Yu off guard. She hadn’t considered this and had to improvise on the spot. Considering Lin Qing’s timid nature, she couldn’t bluntly say she noticed Lin Qing might have someone she liked, so she vaguely replied.

“It’s just… I felt like you, Lin Qing, might know something about it.”

Silence fell between the two, and Qiao Yu’s heart started racing with worry. She feared she might have said something wrong that upset Lin Qing. Getting an answer was secondary; if this inquiry soured Lin Qing’s mood, the loss would outweigh the gain.

The metaphorical drumbeat for a retreat thundered in her chest. She turned, intending to offer some words that would allow Lin Qing a graceful way to decline her question. But as she turned, she saw that Lin Qing had also, timely, turned towards her.

In Lin Qing’s eyes, which were as serene as autumn waters, there lingered a glimmer, like ripples spreading over a tranquil lake beneath the moonlight after a pebble’s toss. Her eyelashes trembled faintly, as if she had a thousand words to say, yet she simply gazed at Qiao Yu—about to speak, then stopping—an image of helplessness and fragility.

At that moment, Qiao Yu forgot what she was about to say. Her heart tightened with concern as she leaned closer to Lin Qing, her words tumbling out in a flustered, disordered rush, “It’s okay if you don’t want to talk, you really don’t need to mind me.” She was extremely regretful over her own impulsive behavior. Immediately, she stood up and suggested, “Let’s go back,” eager to break off the conversation that had brought such an expression to Lin Qing’s face. Yet, Lin Qing caught the hem of her clothes.

“It’s okay, Qiao Yu.”

“I can tell you.”

Beneath her calm voice, intense emotions were carefully concealed. Lin Qing bowed her head, preventing Qiao Yu from seeing her current expression, as she spoke with restraint.

“I have someone I like.”

“And every day, I feel very afraid.”

Lin Qing’s soft voice seemed magically powerful, rendering Qiao Yu motionless as she stood before Lin Qing, listening as the girl in front of her quivered revealing the secrets of these feelings. Qiao Yu’s mind involuntarily reacted along with her words.

Is Lin Qing, Lin Qing afraid every day?

“Getting closer to them scares me, but so does staying away from them.”

“I’m afraid they would find out, yet I’m also afraid they won’t.”

“On one hand, I’m content with the closeness we have now, but on the other, I’m greedy for more, to the point where I’ve become someone I don’t recognize. It scares me terribly.”

Qiao Yu felt the hand gripping her school uniform trembling with force. She clumsily reached out to hold that hand, then crouched down, frantically trying to catch a glimpse of Lin Qing’s expression at that moment.

Finally, she was able to see Lin Qing’s face. Lin Qing’s unfocused gaze slowly settled upon Qiao Yu, pausing for a moment before she continued to speak.

“I’ve never taken my desires seriously.”

“I always thought this was something I could control. Only those with poor self-control would succumb to something they call ‘irresistible impulses.'”

“But, but.”

“When that person looks at me, when they smile at me, all I want is to kiss them.”

Uttering these words seemed to take a great deal of effort from Lin Qing. She exhaled lightly and looked at Qiao Yu unwaveringly, a faint red tint at the corners of her eyes.

“…Do you think these feelings are friendship or love, Qiao Yu?”

Qiao Yu found herself at a loss for words, only feeling that Lin Qing was incredibly beautiful at that moment.

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