The End of Memories (1)
He gritted his teeth, threw down the stick, and turned to leave.
Lin Jueshui staggered and took a couple of steps after him, “Dayuan, where are you going? Listen to me…”
Lin Youyuan turned back to look at him, and through his figure, he also looked at Su Yue.
“Don’t worry about me, take good care of her, or you’ll answer to me.”
“After that, I was disheartened and decided to leave Jiangcheng. Before leaving, I went to bid farewell to Song Yiwu and asked him to take good care of Su Yue and not let anyone bully her.”
Song Yiwu smoked a cigarette, frowning: “What kind of situation is this!”
Zhao Junfeng, wiping his tears, walked forward: “Brother Xiaolin, don’t go. We’ll help you get Sister Yueyue back.”
Lin Youyuan sneered: “What are you thinking? That’s my brother.”
If possible, he still hoped for happiness for them, if they were refraining from getting married because of him, then he would just leave.
Song Yiwu extinguished the cigarette butt on the reef: “It’s good if you head south, there are more opportunities to make money there. Who knows, you might just hit it big. However, there’s one thing…”
Lin Youyuan, smart and perceptive, guessed it instantly.
“The case from last time, right?”
“Yes, there are some leads. We followed their transport vehicle to Qiongzhou City. That place is close to Southeast Asia. This is a big case, and the higher-ups don’t want to alert them. We need an informant to relay information. However, I feel…”
At this point, Song Yiwu frowned, as if he didn’t want him to go, but Lin Youyuan readily agreed.
“I’ll go. It’s a chance to get rich, why not take it.”
Zhao Junfeng: “Brother Yiwu means it’s not safe there. You’re going alone, better not…”
Lin Youyuan picked up the wine jar on the reef and took a swig, wiping his lips: “The more chaotic it is, the easier it is to fish in troubled waters and make a name for myself.”
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Song Yiwu smiled slightly and also took a swig.
“Knowing I can’t dissuade you, this job is just right for you. But, Dayuan…” The man called him by his nickname and patted his shoulder earnestly.
“We brothers have been together for so long, you know what can be done, what can’t be done, what money can be taken, and what can’t. You actually understand this as clear as a mirror.”
“If you encounter difficulties, think of me, think of Xiaofeng, think of Yueyue, think of your brother. As a man, grit your teeth and get through it. Life is not just about money, you need to have other pursuits too. What do you think?”
Lin Youyuan knew that he was worried he might go astray.
It’s strange, Song Yiwu should have been the type of person he disliked the most, but later, after being saved from danger by him several times, they gradually developed a mentor-friend relationship.
Later, when he achieved great success and amassed wealth, Song Yiwu passed away. As he aged, even Song Yiwu’s appearance became blurry.
Lin Youyuan would still occasionally recall their first meeting, how he wasn’t afraid of authority and gently wiped the dust off the national emblem, and those memorable words that had pulled him back from crossroads countless times.
He was different from Zhao Junfeng. Even when deeply mired, he still retained a faint spark of hope in his heart.
At that time, Lin Youyuan thought, as long as he earned enough money, he would return, live with his good brothers, and continue their carefree days. And if he made meritorious achievements, perhaps his father’s case would be redressed.
As a child, if he took a tanghulu from a street vendor, his father would hit his palm.
Even though many years had passed, he still firmly believed that his father was not a corrupt person.
But he never expected that when he returned, everything had changed dramatically.
“I infiltrated Qiongzhou for five years, occasionally returning to Jiangcheng. Various signs indicated that Lin Jueshui had numerous connections with the drug manufacturing and trafficking organization. Although I was reluctant to accept this reality, I had to stand against him.”
Lin Youyuan said this while turning the green thumb ring, looking somewhat somber.
“Lin Yan, you must be wondering why a person like me, who is so greedy for money, doesn’t engage in drug trafficking, making illegal deals, which is clearly the quickest way to get rich.”
“It’s good that you think this way. It shows you haven’t seen what real addicts are like, nor have you seen what true darkness is. Those who are addicted to drugs are not fit to be called human. They can do anything for a packet of drugs—sell their children, rob their parents’ lifelong savings, sell their bodies—it’s all common.”
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“I once witnessed a father in a small village beat his daughter crippled, forcing her to beg to earn drug money for him.”
“A young couple in their twenties came to the city to work. The husband got addicted and passed it on to the wife. Due to sharing needles, they both contracted AIDS. Worse, the woman got pregnant. They had no money for an abortion or to block the transmission, nor money to buy milk powder, so they breastfed the child. The child was born an AIDS patient and an addict. When we rescued the child, he was clinging to his mother’s cold body, refusing to let go, and normal milk powder couldn’t feed him…”
“If you’ve seen such things, you wouldn’t want to become such a person either…”
Lin Youyuan raised his head, his wrinkles relaxing, and smiled at the camera.
“Of course, I hope you never see these things and never become such a person.”
Lin Yan’s shoulders trembled slightly, her hand tightly clutching the sheet, and Song Yuhang hugged her head, pressing her into her arms.
“If you feel upset, we can stop watching.”
Lin Yan sniffed, then raised her head again, her eyes red.
“When he was alive, I couldn’t understand him. Now that he’s gone, I want to know.”
Lin Yan wanted to understand how he and Lin Jueshui broke apart, how they ended up in such a situation, and the question she asked him when she was eighteen: Dad, do you love me?
Song Yuhang thought the answers she sought were hidden in this video, and her own father was also related to this past.
She couldn’t remain indifferent, she even empathized deeply.
Song Yuhang kissed her hair, her voice hoarse.
“It’s strange, isn’t it? But it’s okay. As long as you want, I’ll be with you.”
When they refocused on the video, perhaps because he had been sitting for too long, Lin Youyuan started coughing and sped up a bit, skipping some details.
What he wanted to tell Lin Yan was what happened later, about her mother, and his biggest regret in life.
“Zhao Junfeng got married. I saw her at the wedding. She had lost a lot of weight, looked haggard, and no longer had the bright smile she used to have. I asked her why she had become like this. She wouldn’t tell me. Desperately, I found Song Yiwu and pressed him repeatedly until he reluctantly told me that about half a year ago, his wife took their child for a check-up and accidentally saw her coming out of the obstetrics and gynecology department alone. That day, she had gone for an abortion.”
Why did Song Yiwu know so clearly? Because in those days, premarital pregnancy couldn’t be hidden, and she lost her job because of the hospital’s disciplinary action.
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Zhao Junfeng, upon learning this, was so enraged that he was ready to confront Lin Jueshui. Su Yue cried as she jumped off the bed and clung to his legs.
“I beg you, please don’t go… don’t go… I did it willingly… and don’t tell Dayuan…”
“But I eventually found out. Jealousy, anger, a chest full of hatred, and alcohol clouded my mind. I grabbed a knife and headed to Shanghai to find Lin Jueshui. Su Yue chased after me, crying and hugging me tightly from behind. That night…”
Lin Youyuan fell silent for a moment, his expression slightly unnatural, a mixture of regret and sorrow etched on his face.
Lin Yan understood. She probably came into this world as a fertilized egg at that time, which explained why her mother took her away as soon as she was born, preferring to wander rather than return to the Lin family.
Even in front of the video, she couldn’t help but blurt out, “That old bastard…”
The old bastard in the video started coughing again, taking a while before he spoke: “It was around this time that I discovered some blue crystalline substances in Lin Jueshui’s home. I was all too familiar with these things, having seen people smoking them while undercover in Qiongzhou. Yes, you guessed it right. The composition of that stuff is 70% to 80% similar to the blue liquid in the test tube you had your subordinates analyze, so I have reason to believe that he produced it.”
“I once thought Lin Jueshui and I would be lifelong brothers. No, we were. But until that moment, discovering the girl I loved had been deceived by him and that he had been hiding illegal activities from me all along, I wavered. Before the police took action, I confronted him.”
“Lin Jueshui returned to Jiangcheng the next day, surprised to see me suddenly back. He was delighted but also a bit nervous, scanning the room before relaxing and greeting me.”
He pulled things out of his bag with a joyful face: “Why did you come back so suddenly? Haven’t seen you in years, you’re a bit tanned. Did you find a girl you like? Oh, I brought back some lotus pastries from Shanghai, originally for Su Yue. She likes sweet things just like you.”
Lin Youyuan was pricked by this name, looking at him coldly: “Why didn’t you marry her?”
Lin Jueshui paused, continuing to pull things out: “Ah, Yueyue is a good girl, but I’m not worthy of her.”
Lin Youyuan rushed over, grabbing his collar, eyes wide with anger: “Do you know, do you know what she…”
Lin Jueshui finally looked into his eyes and said, “I know.”
Lin Youyuan punched him in the face, roaring hoarsely: “Beast, what else are you hiding from me?!”
Lin Jueshui couldn’t answer, nor could he. He could only use silence to counter his brother’s rage.
In the unseen corner, his brother stood straight but clenched his fists tightly, trembling slightly until Lin Youyuan stormed out.
Only then did Lin Jueshui collapse into a chair, covering his face with his hands, shoulders shaking violently.
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He couldn’t say it.
Couldn’t say he was already married and had a child.
Couldn’t say he was actually involved with a drug trafficking gang, manufacturing drugs abroad to make money.
He used this money to buy houses, cars, and live in a mansion, giving Su Yue the life she wanted. When he found out she was pregnant, he thought of quitting the trade and divorcing the woman he had no feelings for.
The woman’s brother stepped on him, gun to his head, saying, “Quit if you want, but that last batch hasn’t been tested yet. Use that woman for it.”
Lin Jueshui, seeing Su Yue’s photo in his hand, screamed hysterically, “Don’t you dare touch her!!!”
Just as Lin Youyuan never expected him to make drugs, Lin Jueshui never expected his brother to betray him.
“They had factories in Shanghai, Jiangcheng, Qiongzhou, and other places. Lin Jueshui thought I had returned to Qiongzhou, but I had been following him all along, uncovering most of their factory locations. Thus, I sold him out to the police.”
When Lin Youyuan spoke about this, his face was expressionless, but Lin Yan could still hear a hint of pain and struggle in his slightly stiff tone.
“Unfortunately, things didn’t go as planned. While I was guarding against Lin Jueshui, the others were also guarding against him. After realizing someone was tailing him, they quietly captured Su Yue, forcing him to choose between me and her.”
“Kill me and they’ll let her go, and he could divorce his wife. Oh, his classmate also called him the Supreme Lord back then.”
“Otherwise, he would have to watch Su Yue be tortured to death. The torture wasn’t just mental but also…”
At this point, Lin Youyuan’s facial muscles twitched slightly, his teeth gritted.
“What man can stand to see the woman he loves being… Lin Jueshui went mad, even contemplating suicide. Of course, they wouldn’t let him have his way, so they started beating me. My leg was broken during that time.”
Lin Youyuan said this without much expression, but Lin Yan believed he had just become numb.
“He was a coward, unable to save his beloved woman or his brother. But at that time, one thing puzzled me. The police had clearly sent people to follow me but never showed up. I knew they had an internal problem. The team leader then was Song Yiwu, and Zhao Junfeng. Zhao Junfeng rose quickly in those years, and I didn’t think much of it until…”
Outside the screen, Song Yuhang swallowed lightly. She was young when her father died, and her mother rarely talked about it due to the pain. Later, she had searched the police intranet, finding only fragments:
Song Yiwu (1940-1973) male, Han ethnicity, second-level detective of the Criminal Investigation Brigade of Jiangcheng Public Security Bureau, Binhai Province, died heroically in a major operation in December 1973 at the age of 33.
Like his colleagues, he had turned into a gray photograph, drifting in the vast sea of information, with “sacrifice” being the only cold word left by the era. No one knew what had happened that day except for Lin Youyuan.
Zhao Junfeng knew too, but he had to forget because his rapid rise was built on countless bones.