Little Alpaca – Chapter 72

Volume 2: Fuzhu Huodou

I’m Ugly, I’m Ugly, Alright!

For a moment, the sky was dim, the clouds were gray, and the pitter-patter of rain outside the window wasn’t particularly loud.

But the plain-looking little alpaca demon suddenly felt her heart turn ice-cold. It was as if thousands of her own kind were stampeding across the desolate Male Gobi¹ of her heart.

As a corporate livestock who had read many novels about domineering CEOs², Yi Qiu’s biggest dream in this life was to meet one. He would hand her a check every day and say to her, “Woman, I don’t care what you do, but I demand you spend it all before dark.”

Just thinking about something so wonderful was enough to make her laugh out loud.

And just yesterday, You Yan had given her a good amount of silver taels and told her to go out and buy some clothes and jewelry for herself.

Although You Yan was no domineering CEO, the money she could spend freely was real. It was the first time in her life Yi Qiu had ever received such treatment, and she was in an incredibly good mood, buying a huge pile of things at once.

The reason yaojing³ could conjure objects out of thin air wasn’t because they could create something from nothing, but because they carried Spirit Pouches⁴ that made storing and retrieving items extremely convenient.

Naturally, she had gotten such a convenient item from You Yan on the second day after she transformed into a human, and she wore it on her waist next to that ugly scented sachet.

Yesterday, Yi Qiu had relied on this very Spirit Pouch to bring back a mountain of new clothes and jewelry.

This was the problem: she had just spent the morning preening herself and hadn’t even had a chance to try everything on before You Yan poured a basin of cold water over her head⁵.

What did she mean, “plain-looking”?

Just now, seeing that the atmosphere was gloomy, she had specifically changed into a new outfit, wanting to find an excuse to talk to that bird woman and relieve some boredom.

But what about that bird woman? Not only did she not appreciate the gesture, but the first words out of her mouth were “plain-looking,” instantly obliterating her joy!

How was she plain-looking?

She had seen her reflection in the water. Clearly… clearly, she shouldn’t be that bad.

Clearly, just yesterday at the clothing store, the jewelry shop, and the roadside stalls, people had praised her for being pretty…

She knew she was just a little alpaca, a mere food ingredient in the writings of Little Bird Coo Coo Fly.

As such cannon fodder⁶, she never even had a human form in the original text before becoming a delicious meal in a stew pot. It was impossible for her to possess the kind of world-shaking beauty bestowed by an author’s words.

But she had put on her new clothes and happily run over to You Yan’s side, not to hear You Yan’s critique of her looks!

Could this bird woman not speak like a decent human being?

Who in the world, when shopping with a friend, would say “you look average” to them the moment they stepped out of the fitting room?

The more Yi Qiu thought about it, the angrier she became, so angry that she was about to lose the rationality an adult should have. She wished she could turn back into an alpaca and spit right in this bird woman’s face.

She glared at You Yan, grinding her teeth for a long while, trying her best to suppress the ball of fury in her heart. The result was her small fists clenching tighter and tighter.

“What’s with that expression?” You Yan asked faintly, her tone completely devoid of guilt.

It seemed the bird woman had never heard the proverb, “harsh words wound people in the sixth month’s cold.”⁷

Or perhaps, even if the bird woman had heard it, she wouldn’t care at all. Because she basically grew up eating bamboo shoots⁸; not even giant pandas loved bamboo shoots as much as she did. When she was being mean to people, she couldn’t be bothered to care whether others were hurt or upset!

Yi Qiu closed her eyes, took a deep breath, and slowly exhaled.

After repeating this three times, she gathered the hem of her skirt, walked back to the bed, and returned all the messy things piled on top to her Spirit Pouch.

Then, she plopped down on her floor mattress, leaned back against the bedframe, and folded her arms to sulk.

You Yan sat by the window a while longer. Hearing that it had gone completely silent behind her, she couldn’t help but glance back at Yi Qiu and ask faintly, “What’s wrong?”

Yi Qiu scowled and “hmphed,” turning her head away from You Yan, her face a clear picture of unhappiness.

This bird woman still dares to ask me what’s wrong!

I’m angry, obviously! Why even ask?!

You Yan stood up and walked slowly to the table, frowning as she drank the medicine Jiang Yuyao⁹ had brought.

Yi Qiu subconsciously snuck a peek, bit her inner lip, and conjured a packet of candied fruit¹⁰ wrapped in oil paper from her Spirit Pouch, flinging it forcefully at You Yan.

You Yan’s expression didn’t change. Her fingertips drew a graceful arc in the air, and with a gentle flick, she caught the candied fruit that had suddenly halted mid-flight.

“I bought them yesterday. If you think it’s bitter, have some,” Yi Qiu mumbled, turning her head away to sulk again.

She was already twenty-eight years old, long past the age of liking sweets. She hadn’t intended to buy the candied fruit when she saw it on the road. It was only after she had walked a long way past the shop that she remembered You Yan had been drinking medicine recently.

That Chinese medicine¹¹ smells bitter enough, she thought, it must taste awful. If there was something sweet to counteract the bitterness, it would probably be much better.

So… so she had turned back and bought some along the way.

Really, it was just along the way!

You Yan unwrapped the oil paper. Looking at the candied fruit inside, a trace of warmth couldn’t help but rise in her eyes.

Yi Qiu subconsciously watched You Yan from the corner of her eye. Seeing her stand by the table and eat two pieces of the candied fruit she had bought, the anger in her belly subsided a little.

After eating two pieces, You Yan seemed to dislike it, pushing it slightly further away with her finger.

She pulled a stool over to the table and sat down. Glancing at Yi Qiu, she asked unhurriedly, “You bought this for me?”

Yi Qiu frowned and said, “Who said I bought it for you!”

You Yan said faintly, “It seems you like to eat this childish stuff.”

“I don’t like it! You think I wanted to buy it? The reason I bought it was because…” Yi Qiu’s words trailed off. She paused for a moment, blinking with a guilty conscience.

“Because?” You Yan pressed with great interest. “Because of what?”

“Because…” Yi Qiu couldn’t help but frown.

So annoying. I was just insulted by You Yan for my looks. I really don’t want to admit that I bought this candied fruit for her right now.

“Because everyone is drinking medicine lately!” Yi Qiu said, hugging a pillow and turning to glare at You Yan. She blustered, “You eat less of it! I have to give some to Jiang Yuyao and Little Pig Trotter later!”

Hearing this, You Yan’s index finger hooked the air, and the packet of candied fruit she had just pushed away came back to her. She reached out, took a piece, put it in her mouth, and began to eat in silence.

After that, the bird woman seemed to get addicted, popping one after another into her mouth.

Seeing this, Yi Qiu couldn’t help but lean back, a flicker of doubt in her eyes.

“You… you…” Yi Qiu hesitated for a moment, then suddenly raised her eyebrows, responding with a tooth for a tooth, “It seems you like to eat this childish stuff?”

You Yan neither confirmed nor denied it, only saying faintly, “This packet is mine. If they want some, they can use their own silver to buy it.”

“Tch…” So stingy.

The moment she hears it’s for someone else, she gets all possessive.

Yi Qiu rolled her eyes and fell sideways, hugging the pillow.

You Yan raised an eyebrow at her and said, “What are you throwing a tantrum over there for?”

“You have the nerve to ask!” Yi Qiu was instantly angered into sitting bolt upright again, her eyes glaring fiercely at the impassive You Yan.

“What did I do to you?” You Yan asked in return.

“I… I just asked you… asked you if it looked good!” Yi Qiu said, gripping the skirt she was wearing and furiously punching the mattress beneath her.

“Oh,” You Yan said with sudden realization. “You were talking about that!”

“What else!” Yi Qiu asked through gritted teeth.

You Yan pondered for a moment, then asked with an innocent look, “I said you were plain-looking. Do you have a problem with that?”

“I…” Yi Qiu was speechless for a long moment before finally roaring, “I’m ugly, I’m ugly, alright! But did I ask you about my looks? I was asking about this dress! Is this dress good-looking!”

Yi Qiu was beyond furious. She leaped up from the floor and began to stomp her little bare feet frantically on the flattened mattress.

She had never met anyone as infuriating as You Yan in her entire life!

No, she was wrong. You Yan wasn’t a person at all!

She was a giant, incredibly venomous hummingbird! The stinger on her butt was poisonous, and her mouth was even more poisonous than the stinger!

Yi Qiu was truly baffled. How could this bird woman be so toxic and yet not manage to sting that Huodou to death?

“Stop jumping,” You Yan frowned.

“…” Yi Qiu subconsciously paused for half a second, but the more she thought, the more unwilling she was to let it go, so she defiantly continued to stomp her feet.

“Stand still. I can’t see clearly,” You Yan said again.

Yi Qiu couldn’t help but freeze, and after a moment’s hesitation, she obediently stood by the side of the bed.

What does she mean, can’t see clearly?

Is You Yan looking at my dress now?

Yi Qiu hesitated for a moment, then subconsciously straightened her messy hair and clothes, standing even more properly than she would for a job interview.

You Yan looked her up and down and said, “It’s alright.”

“Alright?” Yi Qiu habitually craned her neck forward.

“Mm,” You Yan affirmed, taking a sip of tea.

Yi Qiu pulled her neck back, pursed her lips, and then suddenly changed into another outfit in a flash. She raised her eyebrows and asked, “You Yan! What about this one?”

You Yan put down her cup and looked up at Yi Qiu.

After a long moment, she let out a soft chuckle and said, “How many did you buy? Change into all of them and let me see.”

Hearing this, Yi Qiu was overjoyed. “A whole lot!”

She ran over to You Yan with her little bare feet, ate a piece of candied fruit, drank a cup of tea, and said happily, “Quick, help me choose. I’ll return the ones that don’t look good!”

“No need to bother. We’re not short on that little bit of silver.”

“You really are a female domineering CEO!”

You Yan pondered for a few seconds. “Speak human.”

Yi Qiu’s eyes curved into crescents as she giggled. “That’s a compliment!”

No joke, she was sincerely complimenting this bird woman.

I must be a very easy-to-please alpaca, she thought. One second she was furious, but as long as You Yan was just a little bit nicer to her, she could forget everything.

But… perhaps it was also because no matter how infuriating You Yan’s words were, she had never mistreated her in the slightest.

Yi Qiu couldn’t help but think of the cold-blooded and ruthless Demon Lord You Yan from the novel.

She remembered very clearly that Little Bird Coo Coo Fly had once written that You Yan had transferred spiritual power to that little alpaca, who could never awaken its spiritual consciousness, more than once. It was only when she had completely lost her patience that she finally slaughtered it.

Why would such a major villain, who could get anything she wanted, fixate on a stupid little alpaca?

Was an alpaca really that cute?

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