Little Alpaca – Chapter 7

Volume 1: Little Alpaca

Listen to my explanation…

Yi Qiu had already slept poorly yesterday due to insomnia. Today, she had run, screamed, and struggled, not to mention suffering numerous frights, and to top it all off, she was taken for a full-body bath in chilly spring water. By this point, she was long since exhausted.

Now that her stomach was full and the nerves that had been wound tight all day had finally relaxed, she really wanted to close her eyes and get a good night’s sleep. Unfortunately, she was soaking wet. The Demon Realm was gloomy and cold; even with the doors and windows shut tight against the wind, a chill pervaded the air.

An alpaca’s four limbs weren’t as flexible as a human’s; she couldn’t hold things to dry her body. She had no choice but to roll back and forth on the soft sleeping mat, just like a cat or a dog.

As she rolled, she thought seriously, is this something a normal alpaca would do?

If a demon servant happened to come in to tidy up the room right now and saw me rolling around frantically on the floor, they’d probably think the Demon Lord’s pet ate something it shouldn’t have and got an upset stomach, right?

However, her worries were rather unnecessary. It wasn’t feeding time, so no one came to disturb the little alpaca’s rolling.

As she rolled and rolled, her body did get quite a bit drier, but the place she was sleeping on was now wet.

After several seconds of deep thought, the little alpaca stood up from the sleeping mat, wriggled her little butt, and turned to walk toward the bed on the side.

This place was likely tidied by demon servants every day; every corner was spotless. Even the bed, which a little alpaca had no use for, was made up neatly and tidily.

There’s a bed, so why sleep on the floor?

The little alpaca hopped onto the soft bed, extended a small alpaca trotter to close the bed curtains, found a comfortable position, gave a huge yawn with squinted eyes, and fell asleep.

That night, Yi Qiu had a dream.

She dreamed that all her stats had reached the system’s required standard to transform into a human, but she was just short on one single thing: You Yan’s favorability score.

To increase this favorability, she acted like a fawning alpaca¹, following You Yan around every day, acting cute and coquettish. If her tail wasn’t too short to wag, she’d be no different from a little puppy.

But no matter how hard she tried, the favorability score just had to get stuck at “250.”

She couldn’t help but think, this isn’t just a hurdle, this is a great chasm, a natural moat!² With a tiny alpaca’s four thin, short legs, there’s no way I can ever cross it!

Later, she followed You Yan to the human realm, and after meeting the male lead, she became a pot of alpaca meat in clear broth.

There was no pain in the dream. She could even see herself in the pot from a soul’s perspective, especially those little meaty trotters with two toes, dotted with a few vegetable leaves and chopped green onions. They looked pretty tasty…

Grass Mud Horse, there’s something wrong with me! [LP: This is a pun. The protagonist, an alpaca (羊駝), is thinking the phrase 草泥馬 (cǎo ní mǎ), which literally means “Grass Mud Horse” but is a well-known internet profanity because it sounds nearly identical to a vulgar phrase for “f#ck your mother.”]

Yi Qiu woke up from the dream, panting heavily. She bumped her little head against the bedpost to help herself wake up faster.

“Yi Qiu, you’re an alpaca now, you can’t be craving your own trotters.”

The dark bed curtains blocked all light. The little alpaca lightly kicked off the blanket, stood up with a yawn, gave her fur a little shake, and poked her little head out of the curtains.

Her eyes were slightly narrowed, her gaze a bit hazy because she wasn’t fully conscious yet.

But the haziness was brief. The next second, as if electrocuted, she yanked her little head back inside the curtains.

By the table outside the bed, there seemed to be, appeared to be, was maybe, probably… a person she didn’t particularly want to see sitting there.

It’s just an illusion, right? How could that female demon lord who’s going to stew me sooner or later possibly come over here first thing in the morning and sit there silently, waiting for me to wake up?

Thinking this, Yi Qiu poked her head out once more.

In just an instant, she pulled it back inside the curtains again.

Yi Qiu went limp on the bed like a pile of mud, closing her eyes and playing dead.

“Stay calm. It must be because I got up in the wrong position today.”

“This is definitely a dream within a dream, definitely. I’m still dreaming.”

As the little alpaca hypnotized herself, she unconsciously let out a light, milky “hmm hmm” sound.

The person outside the curtains let out a soft, almost inaudible chuckle. If the room hadn’t been so quiet, it wouldn’t have reached Yi Qiu’s ears.

That laugh… it was You Yan, no doubt about it.

“Nn-wu~” The little alpaca couldn’t control her emotions, letting out a sound that, while sorrowful, was so cute it made one want to squish her like crazy.

“How much longer do you plan to stay in bed?” You Yan said, pouring herself a cup of freshly brewed tea, her black robes like ink, her expression cool and detached.

Yi Qiu shrank her neck, hung her head, and jumped off the bed.

The moment she jumped off, Yi Qiu saw a large basket of fruit that had been placed on the table at some point—snow pears, oranges, bananas, apples, all her favorites.

Did You Yan bring this?

Yi Qiu blinked, and in a few steps, she walked to You Yan’s feet and obediently lay down. She had wanted to act cute and win some favor with this master who exuded a dangerous aura from head to toe, but the stewed alpaca trotters from her dream lingered stubbornly in her mind, making it impossible for her to muster any emotion.

But there was one thing worth celebrating.

Yi Qiu’s knowledge of alpacas was limited to the old “Grass Mud Horse” meme. She had no idea what an alpaca’s habits were and had originally thought her act of sleeping on the bed was very un-alpaca-like, feeling terrified for a good while after being discovered.

It wasn’t until this moment, seeing no surprise on You Yan’s face, that she finally breathed a sigh of relief.

It seems a normal alpaca can climb onto beds.

Just as Yi Qiu’s thoughts were running wild, the sound of You Yan setting down her cup startled her back to her senses.

She looked up blankly, her gaze somewhat dazed as she stared at You Yan, her little eyes blinking innocently.

You Yan looked back thoughtfully at the silly-looking little alpaca before her. After a brief silence, she curved her pretty eyes and said faintly, “Silly little lamb, the Demon Realm is cold and harsh. Would you like to go see the human realm?”

The human realm? This means the main plot is starting! Can I refuse?

The thought had just appeared in Yi Qiu’s mind when the system, which had been quiet for a long time, popped out with a ding.

【Friendly reminder, refusing a main storyline mission will result in severe punishment!】

“What kind of punishment?”

【Intelligence -999.】

Fine, so refusing the main story comes with a forced intelligence reduction.

Although she didn’t know what consequences would come from her stats being deducted into the negatives, she still needed all these miscellaneous values if she wanted to become human. If she went too far into the red, she really would be a Grass Mud Horse until the day she died.

Yi Qiu took a deep breath and nodded listlessly.

Seeing this, You Yan leaned forward and rubbed the little alpaca’s head, then stood up and left.

Yi Qiu subconsciously chased her to the doorway, her four legs uncontrollably wanting to follow You Yan, but her reason dragged her back to reality in the nick of time.

I was just bullied by You Yan yesterday. Logically and emotionally, I shouldn’t be following her so obediently.

To cover up her awkwardness, she lay on the ground and stretched, then watched You Yan walk further and further away as if nothing had happened.

The morning sunlight of the Demon Realm pierced through the clouds and scattered down. Yi Qiu unconsciously squinted her eyes, not moving a muscle until You Yan’s figure disappeared from her line of sight.

If this were the past, she wouldn’t have wanted to sunbathe; after all, it takes a long time to recover from a tan. But now that she was an alpaca, she had no psychological burden about getting dark. Sunbathing like this actually felt quite comfortable.

But… what was that situation just now?

The Demon Lord graced me with her presence just to ask for an alpaca’s opinion?

Impossible.

Yi Qiu lay at the doorway, unable to figure it out, seriously suspecting her intelligence was being assimilated by the Grass Mud Horse. If not, why did she always have a nagging feeling that something was off about the great villain, yet couldn’t articulate why?

So what was this Grass Mud Horse’s initial intelligence, again? I think it was…

【It’s 20!】

Right, the initial value is only twenty. That’s ridiculously low!

Yi Qiu couldn’t help but let out a long howl. Unexpectedly, her little stomach was very cooperative, rumbling and gurgling in a piercing symphony.

Hungry again, how am I hungry again!

Do alpacas not have as many twists and turns in their intestines as humans, so they always get hungry quickly?

You Yan had just left. If she chased after her now to try and scrounge for food, she’d probably get bullied again.

Just as she was getting a headache, Yi Qiu seemed to remember something. She whipped her head around to look at the fruit basket on the wooden table inside, her eyes suddenly lighting up, the corners of her round mouth curving into an arc of confidence.

She had decided. Today, she would be an alpaca with integrity. She would absolutely not go looking for You Yan for food!

The little alpaca returned to the room in high spirits and, with very clumsy movements, used a stool to climb onto the table.

It had to be said, a human would have no problem with this height, but as an alpaca, she couldn’t help but feel her legs go a little weak.

In order not to eat at such a “high” place, Yi Qiu kicked the fruit basket to the floor. Seeing the fruit roll all over the ground, she then carefully hopped down from the table.

The past two days, Yi Qiu had been fed bite by bite by You Yan. Now that there was no one to feed her, she finally discovered just how useless her trotters were.

For example, she pressed down on an apple with her foreleg, and just as she stretched her neck to take a bite, the apple slipped out from under her trotter.

For another example, she held a banana with one trotter and tried to peel it with the other. As a result, she used too much force, failed to peel it properly, and instead squashed a pile of banana mush all over the floor.

Not to mention the orange. The little alpaca’s two-toed forelegs were incredibly stiff, making a complex operation like peeling an orange truly difficult. The final result of her efforts was making a huge mess of the room and getting herself all sticky.

Yi Qiu felt her empathy for animals had grown quite a bit these last two days. She finally understood why some cats and dogs were so mischievous.

What bad intentions could a little animal possibly have?

Jumping up and down, getting food all over the place—isn’t this all driven by appetite?

If I had a choice, I’d want to be a well-behaved and quiet Grass Mud Horse, too!

Just as Yi Qiu was pitifully eating the mangled orange, the tightly shut door behind her suddenly gave a creak.

She subconsciously turned to look, only to see the door being pushed open from the outside. The midday light, carrying a hint of warmth, poured in through the half-open doorway.

The person who had arrived had red hair and black robes, her long gown trailing on the floor. Her slender figure stood against the light, and in her hand, she carried that exquisite food box from the other day.

The moment the aroma reached her nose, Yi Qiu felt a shameless pang of craving, her little pink tongue unconsciously licking her own sticky mouth.

This was the first time she had found this figure so dear.

The little alpaca bounced forward a few steps, looking up at You Yan with an expectant gaze.

However, in the next second, in the shadows untouched by the sunlight, she saw You Yan’s current expression, which was a smile that wasn’t quite a smile.

Why does it feel so unnervingly cold?

Yi Qiu swallowed hard, her mind flashing back to the utter mess behind her, a room so chaotic it was hard to even find a place to step, looking for all the world like a little alpaca had thrown a tantrum and tried to tear the house down.

Her eyes darted around, and she offered the Demon Lord a bitter smile.

No, that’s not it, listen to my explanation…

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