Little Alpaca – Chapter 20

Volume 1: Little Alpaca

A Young Girl Trips on Flat Ground.

Although Yi Qiu was very familiar with the original content of 《Thin, Withered Branch》 , the original novel’s perspective was always tightly bound to the male and female protagonists. Since she could only follow the villain around all day, she naturally had no way of knowing the plot’s progress on the two protagonists’ side.

However, be it the protagonist’s storyline or the villain’s storyline, to enter the main plot, there would always be a day when they converged.

If she wasn’t mistaken, at this very moment, this was the point of convergence for the two storylines.

The person in the distance who made the System excitedly repeat itself and highlighted with a fifty-cent special effect should be the original male lead, the final mortal incarnation of the Three-legged Golden Crow sent to experience a calamity—the immortal sect’s good-for-nothing with a half-demon bloodline, Luo Mingyuan.

The scene Yi Qiu was currently witnessing, if placed in the original novel, would probably be around a dozen chapters in.

The good-for-nothing male lead had been bullied by several shixiong¹ two days prior. Afterward, seeing him covered in injuries, the shixiong were afraid they would be punished by their Shifu², so they simply drove him down the mountain to sell medicine in exchange for salt.

The constitution of a cultivator was superior to that of an ordinary person, and their injuries healed quickly. By the time two days had passed, the medicine was sold, the salt was bought, and the injuries on his body were more or less healed.

It was because of this trip down the mountain that the male lead met the great villain who called herself “Bai Jianyou”.

And in the dozen or so chapters before this, the story probably told of how although there was a difference like that between clouds and mud³ between the female lead and the male lead, they were both suckers for a pretty face⁴ and couldn’t resist falling in love at first sight.

The shijie⁵ was outwardly cold but protected her shidi⁶ in every way; the shidi developed feelings of love but didn’t dare to overstep his bounds by half a step. In short, they had mutual feelings for each other, but neither dared to approach the other.

The villain, in the guise of “Bai Jianyou,” made her first appearance on the mountainside south of Moshui, befriending the male lead who was returning from exchanging salt. Then, she patiently interacted with him a few more times, and through the male lead, she gained the female lead’s trust, successfully infiltrating the Xianlu Sect and gradually becoming someone the protagonists cherished and trusted.

After that, the protagonists went down the mountain for training, and the villain accompanied them. With a “Luo-dage”⁷ on the left and a “Yuyao-jiejie”⁸ on the right, her little mouth was as if smeared with honey. She put on the perfect act of a pure and innocent little white flower of the mortal world, but in the end, it was all just to frantically drive a wedge between the two protagonists.

Thinking of this, Yi Qiu couldn’t help but raise her head to sneak a peek at You Yan, only to see her eyes as hard and cold as ice, with an expression that looked as if she wanted to sentence someone to death by a thousand cuts.

It’s really hard to imagine what kind of picture it would be, this bird woman feigning civility and lowering herself to please the protagonists.

Just as Yi Qiu’s thoughts were running wild, the exclamation mark in the distance grew closer and closer, and even the fifty-cent, gold-plated special effect on the male lead’s body became more dazzling.

“I remember saying that you can save the fifty-cent special effects,” Yi Qiu said to the System. “This is, after all, a world where I could kick the bucket at any moment. Let me have a bit of an immersive experience, don’t make it seem like an online game! It’s not that I’m complaining, but this exclamation mark really makes people want to go up and press F to trigger a dialogue. It’s too misleading…”

【Host has already disabled the identity display. If the notification special effects are disabled as well, it will be easy to miss important characters and clues.】

“Fine, fine, I won’t disable it. I know who this person is now, so the notification special effect can be turned off, right?”

After a short wait, the exaggerated fifty-cent special effect finally vanished completely.

At this moment, the great villain was staring intently at the unlucky male lead, motionless, lost in thought.

Yi Qiu pondered for a moment, then bumped the back of You Yan’s hand with her little head, pulling her thoughts back from wherever they had drifted.

“Master!” she said, feigning curiosity. “Why do you keep staring at that person?”

“I just told you yesterday that the Xianlu Sect is hiding a demon,” You Yan said, then gave a cold smile. “I thought it would take some effort to see him. I never thought, I never thought I’d run into him directly.”

The moment Yi Qiu heard this, she was instantly energized.

I’m familiar with what happens next! The spirit pet alpaca will be eating grass on the path as the male lead goes up the mountain. It’s the male lead’s first time seeing such a strange-looking ‘little sheep,’ and his curiosity will be piqued.

He’ll approach for a closer look, only to be chased and spat on by the alpaca all the way, ending up in a sorry state. He’ll trip on flat ground and fall at Bai Jianyou’s feet, the salt from the basket on his back spilling all over his head.

Bai Jianyou will hurriedly and pretentiously stop the alpaca’s saliva attack, then lock eyes with the male lead. Amused by his sorry state, she will smile like a flower.

Later, when she learns that the male lead will be punished for spilling the salt, she’ll quickly drag him down the mountain, compensate him for the salt, and make a friend. She’ll appear so pure and unpretentious that many readers will mistake her for the second female lead.

So, all she needed to do now was wait for You Yan’s command, then follow the method written in the novel to “tui” the male lead in front of You Yan, and that would be that.

But why wasn’t You Yan reacting at all?

“Ah, um… Master, since you’ve found the person you were looking for, what do you plan to do next?”

“I had intended to keep him around to play with for a while, but for some reason, now that I’ve actually run into him, I’ve suddenly lost interest.”

You Yan said faintly, the corners of her lips involuntarily hooking into an extremely dangerous arc. “It would be better to save some energy, grab him directly, protect his life soul, then pull out his tendons and skin him, and then slice his flesh and blood inch by inch into a pot, and shatter his bones…”

At this point, a trace of ruthlessness appeared in You Yan’s eyes, and her right fist gradually tightened as she enunciated each word, “While he’s still alive, start the pot, and stew him alive.”

“Master…” Yi Qiu was terrified.

She saw the intense killing intent in You Yan’s eyes. Such a gaze, such a tone, made her not doubt for a second that You Yan could really do everything she had just said.

But, wait, wait a minute… that’s not how the plot goes!

Is You Yan serious? Directly torturing and killing him, without messing with him a bit more? That’s not interesting enough!

“Let me ask a question,” Yi Qiu hurriedly asked the System. “Does a Yellow Springs⁹ HE count as an HE? If the male and female leads die together cleanly, can I go back?”

【Mission failure will result in the Host’s existence being erased.】

“Then, if the male lead dies, I’ll find a better one for the female lead…”

【Mission failure will result in the Host’s existence being erased.】

“Damn it!” Yi Qiu’s hair stood on end. “But there’s clearly something wrong with this villain! Why is she allowed to not follow the plot!”

【That is not what the Host is thinking in her heart.】

“Yes, yes… I admit, I just complained about this point, but, but, but…”

Yi Qiu’s thoughts were briefly chaotic, and then she unconsciously started to find justifications for the villain’s outrageous motives in the original novel. “But she’s a villain! She shouldn’t be judged by common sense. She thinks this matter is ‘interesting,’ she just wants to make the male lead step into the abyss step by step, to see him deserted by his friends and family, to see him lose his beloved, turn against his father, and lose everything. That’s why she’s willing to go to such great lengths… That’s what’s logical!”

At this point, Yi Qiu suddenly felt that she could understand the You Yan from the novel.

You Yan was clearly a big, bad bird whose bird-life was extremely boring. She went to great lengths to arrange a script for the male and female leads and even personally took part in it. Wasn’t it just because she found it the most interesting thing to do, so she was looking for some fun because she had nothing better to do?

How could such a neurotic villain suddenly no longer have “nothing better to do”?

How could such a neurotic villain suddenly lose interest in the protagonist?

Yi Qiu was baffled, but before she could get a headache over it, she saw You Yan draw Chuixue from her waist. In an instant, the surrounding air was filled with a flourishing cold energy.

This absolutely cannot happen!

Yi Qiu instantly rushed in front of You Yan, blocking her path with her own small body.

You Yan couldn’t help but frown, a trace of displeasure flashing in her eyes.

Yi Qiu quickly knelt on her hind legs and hugged You Yan’s thigh with her two front hooves.

The scene was momentarily very comical.

“Master! Master, listen to me!” Yi Qiu’s desire to live was off the charts, and her mind spun rapidly. “This is the Xianlu Sect’s territory. If Master tortures and kills him here…”

“A mere mortal, should I be afraid?” You Yan said coldly.

“No, no, what I mean is, if Master kills him so easily, it won’t be fun anymore!”

As Yi Qiu spoke, she looked up at You Yan with pleading eyes and persuaded, “I remember everything Master has said! You have some connection with him, and now it seems it’s not a good connection. Master hates this person very much, right?”

You Yan didn’t answer, only lowered her eyelashes and quietly looked back at Yi Qiu.

“If that’s the case, then even death by a thousand cuts or having his bones shattered and thrown into a pot would be letting him off too lightly.”

Yi Qiu continued, “Master, since you’ve come to the mortal world, you should enjoy yourself to the fullest—to truly enjoy oneself, one must slowly torture the people they hate.”

A trace of surprise couldn’t help but flash in You Yan’s eyes, but she quickly concealed it. “Continue…”

“Physical torment is certainly hard to bear, but it cannot compare to the destruction of the mind. Of the seven bitternesses in this world, birth, old age, sickness, and death are each represented by a single word, but love’s separation, resentment’s meeting, and unattainable desires are all described with more ink. Master should understand better than I how to truly humiliate a person in a way that is truly ‘interesting’.”

When her voice fell, Yi Qiu was startled by herself.

She never would have thought that in order to drag You Yan back to the main storyline, she would, in the most innocent tone, say such vicious words that only a great villain should be capable of saying.

What she expected even less was that in the next second, the System’s notification sounded once again.

【You Yan’s favorability -50】

You Yan: “Are you teaching me how to do things?”

Yi Qiu: “No… I wouldn’t dare…”

The “hands” hugging her leg trembled slightly.

“No way, isn’t the suggestion I made exactly what You Yan should do, and wants to do the most?”

Yi Qiu couldn’t stop frantically questioning her existence in her heart. “What in the world is going on? She’s not really going to kill the male lead, is she!”

After a few seconds of dead silence, You Yan’s brow relaxed. She rubbed Yi Qiu’s little head with her fingers and said with a smile, “You’re right. Killing him directly is indeed uninteresting. I should do as I originally planned: get close to him, and destroy him.”

Hearing this, Yi Qiu was greatly relieved and quickly let go of You Yan’s thigh.

She took two steps back, stood up straight, and volunteered, “Master, you wait here. I’ll go lure that person over!”

After speaking, Yi Qiu stretched her four short legs, and with a bounce and a skip, she ran to the path the male lead had to take up the mountain. She stuck her butt up, buried her head, and pretended to be eating grass.

The scorching sun shone from above, as she chewed on the air in her mouth.

The seventeen-year-old male protagonist, his head covered in sweat and carrying a basket of salt, approached the little alpaca with a heart full of mischief, step by step.

Suddenly, he stood still in front of the alpaca, a bright light of curiosity appearing in his tired eyes.

The little alpaca, chewing on air, looked up at him.

Good heavens, as expected of the little scumbag in the novel who, aside from You Yan, every woman would fall for. He’s truly a bit too good-looking. No wonder the shixiong, who were written as tool characters by the author, always bullied him. Isn’t this just jealousy at work?

“Are you a sheep?” the young man muttered to himself, moving closer to observe. “You look like one… but not quite.”

This poor male lead, although you become such a scumbag in the middle and late stages that I can’t bear to look, my mission is to get you and the female lead to have an HE. If I start when you haven’t learned to be bad yet, you probably won’t become a scumbag again, right?

I have to spit on you. You’d better not hold a grudge. After all, from now on, you and I are grasshoppers on the same rope.

Yi Qiu mentally prepared herself for a long time under the young man’s observation, and finally took a deep breath, and unexpectedly spat in the young man’s face.

The young man subconsciously closed his eyes. When he opened them, his eyes were full of astonishment.

Eh, was he spat stupid?

Run, why don’t you run! Only if you run can I chase! Only if I chase can you perform the young-girl-trips-on-flat-ground scene in front of You Yan, allowing us to officially enter the main plot!

What are you standing there stunned for?

Anxious, Yi Qiu spat at the young man in front of her a couple more times.

Silence. After a brief silence, the ugly expression on the young man’s face turned from bewilderment to grief and indignation.

“Even you look down on me!” He gritted his teeth. “I’ll catch you and stew you to honor Shifu!”

What the, what’s going on!

Yi Qiu couldn’t help but be stunned. When she came to her senses, she saw the young man stretching out his hands and pouncing towards her angrily. She was instantly scared out of her wits, crying “en en” as she turned and fled.

This isn’t right, this plot isn’t right, the male lead has gone crazy, he wants to stew me!

Yi Qiu shrieked as she ran wildly towards You Yan, her four little legs moving at top speed. But the male lead was a cultivator, after all. His lower body strength was much greater than that of a mortal, and he ran very fast even while carrying a basket of salt.

Just like that, the alpaca and the person, one in front and one behind, chased for a long time. Yi Qiu finally saw You Yan’s figure.

She howled “en en ang ang” loudly for help and finally saw You Yan coming towards her. Her heart was overjoyed, as if she were running towards her dearest kin.

Plop—

“Wu!”

The little alpaca tripped on flat ground, allowing the person behind her to grab the back of her fateful neck.

【You Yan’s favorability +50】

F#ck, why…

It wasn’t written like this in the novel!

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