Volume 4: Immeasurable
You’re too good at comforting people.
So, digging into the skull1 wasn’t to help restore memories after all.
I could only blame myself for watching too many novels and TV shows. I always thought that in this kind of fantasy world, digging into someone’s skull was the standard configuration2 for helping restore memories.
But after messing around for half a day, not only were her memories not restored, but a segment was even erased.
So, was that whole conversation just a waste of effort?
Yi Qiu looked up at You Yan, her eyes filled with confusion. “You Yan, I don’t really get it…”
“What don’t you get?” You Yan asked, continuing before Yi Qiu could respond. “We can’t let her face the Yi Bird with that memory. The Yi Bird would discover that we haven’t left yet.”
“But isn’t this just a waste of effort? We said so much to her and she was already starting to waver, but then you just went and erased her memory…”
Yi Qiu really couldn’t understand what the point of doing this was.
“It wasn’t a complete waste of effort,” You Yan said, finding a place to sit down.
Yi Qiu pouted, took a few steps to catch up, and plopped down beside You Yan.
She propped up her chin, looking at You Yan with curiosity. “Do you have another plan?”
It doesn’t matter if I understand or not, she thought, as long as You Yan does. The only thing I need to do is figure out her plan and try my best not to be dragging the back leg.3
Anyway, no matter what trouble they ran into, You Yan always had her own ideas and had never let her down.
“Today was just to scout the situation; it wasn’t a good time to beat the grass to startle the snake,”4 You Yan said. “If we want to leave Snake Mountain, we’ll have to forcefully break the outermost barrier5 sealing the mountain. I have the ability to do it, but it would definitely alert the Yi Bird.”
“How are your injuries recovering?”
“Not well,” You Yan said flatly. “Breaking the barrier itself consumes a lot of spiritual energy6. Beyond Snake Mountain is a sea that is as far as the eye can see7, with nowhere to rest or hide. If I have to bring you and Chao Yun along, I’m not confident I can escape from here.”
As You Yan spoke, she happened to see a flicker of disappointment in Yi Qiu’s eyes.
After a brief hesitation, she reached out and patted Yi Qiu’s head. “You’re not a burden to me.”
“You don’t have to comfort me. I know… I’m completely useless.” Yi Qiu lowered her head dejectedly, unconsciously fiddling with her braided hair and muttering under her breath, “But it’s not like I had a choice. Who told you to raise an alpaca? If you’d raised a bird, couldn’t I fly? If I could fly, then…”
“You still wouldn’t be able to keep up with my speed. You’d be caught by the Yi Bird.”
“…” Yi Qiu unconsciously gritted her teeth.
Who was it that just said I wasn’t a burden to her? It really was just a half-hearted attempt to comfort me.
Seeing the change in Yi Qiu’s expression, You Yan chuckled lightly. “So what if you’re a burden? Am I afraid of you being a burden?”
Yi Qiu: “You’re not?”
You Yan: “Only useless people blame their own failures on others.”
Yi Qiu’s gaze toward You Yan brightened. After a moment of silence, she couldn’t help but purse her lips, lowering her eyes and letting out a couple of soft laughs.
“What’re you laughing at?”
“Nothing, it’s just that those words sound a little familiar… I heard them before when I used to play games.”
“Hm?” You Yan didn’t hide the curiosity in her eyes at all.
Yi Qiu thought for a moment, hugged her knees, and looked up at the distant sky.
“I used to like playing games online. I was bad but loves to play8. Because I would just muddle through9, I’d get yelled at by my teammates from time to time, as if it was my fault we lost because I was the pit10… But later, I met a big boss11, and he played with me for a few days.” As she spoke, Yi Qiu turned her gaze to You Yan. “For those few days, I was on a constant winning streak. I’d maybe only lose once every six or seven matches.”
“Oh?”
“That big boss never yelled at me. At most, he’d just tell me when to do what, and that as long as I didn’t feed randomly, he could carry me to lie down and win12.” A hint of joy appeared in Yi Qiu’s eyes as she spoke. “He told me that, unless you’re opening the black13, everyone is in a random matchmaking14 battle. In a game, if there’s a big boss, there’s also a vegetable bird15. How could every teammate be amazing? If our side has vegetables, the other side will too. When you’re in a headwind16, you can’t win by blaming your teammates. Only by working together can you turn the disadvantage around and expand your advantage.”
“‘If you’re really skilled, then don’t go throwing the pot17 at your teammates. Work hard and be the one carrying to flight18 for the whole team. If you can’t do that, it just means you’re not strong enough. And people who aren’t strong enough shouldn’t be pointing fingers at others; that’s just messing with a teammate’s mentality19.’ He said that I wasn’t very good, but he could carry me, so he did it on the side, treating it as a way to add a little difficulty to his game experience.” After finishing, Yi Qiu stared quietly at You Yan for several seconds, then tilted her head and asked, “You Yan, is that what you think, too?”
“What about that person?”
“Huh?”
“The person who carried you. What was your relationship with him afterward?” You Yan’s tone was cold, as if she were conducting an investigation.
Yi Qiu was at a point of not knowing whether to laugh or cry and quickly explained, “He was just a random friend I added. He only carried me for a few days before turning around to carry other girls…”
As she spoke, as if afraid You Yan wouldn’t be satisfied, she added, “I didn’t really play that game much after that. I kept losing, so it wasn’t fun.”
“Mm,” You Yan replied faintly, her expression no longer as serious as before.
“You still haven’t answered my question,” Yi Qiu pressed. “Are you like that person, thinking that being able to be killing in all four directions20 even with a burden is what makes someone truly strong?”
“This ‘net,’ ‘vegetable,’ and ‘muddling through’ you speak of… I don’t quite understand it, but I can get the general idea,” You Yan said, reaching out to pinch Yi Qiu’s still slightly chubby face with its baby fat21. “I don’t care what that person thought. I’ve never felt that you were a burden to me.”
“But I clearly…”
“I said I would protect you. It’s only because I want to protect you, not because I want to prove myself. Because every day and night I’ve had you by my side, I’ve…”
You Yan paused.
“You’ve…?” Yi Qiu couldn’t help but blink, asking curiously, “You’ve what?”
“I’ve…” You Yan considered for a moment, then couldn’t help but take Yi Qiu’s hands and say earnestly, “…been extremely happy.”
“Happy enough not to mind that I’ve been harming you this whole time?” Yi Qiu couldn’t help but retort.
“When have you ever harmed me?” You Yan smiled, leaning back against the tree behind her and unconsciously squeezing the small hands in her grasp.
“If it weren’t for me… If you hadn’t refined the Blood Coagulation Pearl for me, if you hadn’t stayed behind to cover our retreat, the Huodou22 probably wouldn’t have been able to injure you.” Yi Qiu lowered her eyes and shook her head. “And you used so much spiritual energy to awaken Chao Yun’s divine power for my sake… And the matter with the Floating Dream Pearl was also caused by me recklessly using my powers.”
“Regarding the Huodou, it was my mistake for misjudging the gap in our strengths first. When I was on the verge of death, if you hadn’t insisted on coming back to save me and delayed for that moment, I would no longer exist in this world.” You Yan continued, “And that night at Xianlu Sect, although you acted on a whim, it managed to cause trouble for the Yi Bird, so it wasn’t a waste of effort.”
“As for the Floating Dream Pearl’s illusory realm, even if you hadn’t found it, it’s not certain I wouldn’t have. That was a trap the Yi Bird had set long ago. It’s not your fault you fell for it when you were completely unprepared.” At this point, You Yan gently rubbed Yi Qiu’s head. “Besides, I entered the dream because of you, and I woke up because of you. You don’t owe me anything.”
“You… you’re too good at comforting people,” Yi Qiu mumbled, unable to stop herself from shaking her head. “Don’t always pat my head. I’m not a kid anymore.”
“You still look very young,” You Yan said, but she still took her hand off Yi Qiu’s head.
Yi Qiu felt quite pleased hearing that, but she couldn’t help but mutter, “I wonder who it was that called me ‘old’ not too long ago.”
You Yan smiled. “By human lifespans, that’s true. But you’re a Yao23 now.”
For a moment, Yi Qiu couldn’t suppress the corners of her mouth from turning up, but she was afraid You Yan would see her small joy as a joke. She could only quickly turn her face away, deliberately pouting as she mumbled, “I’m a little not used to it.”
You Yan asked, “Not used to what?”
Yi Qiu said, “You never used to talk so nicely before.”
You Yan smiled, her tone calm as she said, “You weren’t as important to me before.”
The tone she used when she said this was as casual as a decisive person deciding what to eat for breakfast—not the least bit cautious, but also not the least bit hesitant.
It was as if it were just an ordinary sentence, so ordinary that it was as a matter of course, completely beyond question.
Words like that weren’t exactly nice to hear, but in that second, Yi Qiu just couldn’t hold it in.
She couldn’t say why, but she clearly felt something in her heart involuntarily go Putong.24
“Don’t say any more,” Yi Qiu said, turning her head even further away. Her gaze struggled to focus on the distance, wishing she could show You Yan nothing but the back of her head.
“Hm?” You Yan tilted her head slightly, her slender eyes quietly watching as the profile of the woman before her grew redder.
She watched for a long time without looking away.
If this were in the past, she would have teased the girl for blushing like a monkey’s butt25. But today, she just sat there quietly, holding the girl’s slightly sweaty palm, feeling a heartbeat that was different from usual.
She truly wasn’t comforting this little girl, nor did she feel the girl had ever been dragging her back leg.
She had never once considered her a burden. She was also willing to believe that no one in this world would consider a person or thing that brought them joy to be a burden.
There wasn’t really any remarkable scenery here.
Yi Qiu, who had been craning her neck to pretend to look at the scenery, finally straightened her posture after her neck started to get sore.
As she turned back, she was caught off guard and met You Yan’s gaze, feeling a little nervous.
Has this bird woman been staring at me this whole time?
It’s so weird. I’m not even good-looking, why does she keep staring at me like this…
“You…” Yi Qiu managed to force out a single syllable.
“Hm?” You Yan responded softly.
Yi Qiu felt awkward. How am I supposed to ask this? she thought. Ask this bird woman why she keeps staring at me?
The answer probably won’t be very nice. Maybe I should just change the subject.
If she was going to change the subject, she might as well get back to the main topic.
“I, I wanted to ask… what are your plans now?” Yi Qiu said, remembering what You Yan had said earlier. “You said that today wasn’t a waste of effort.”
“Indeed,” You Yan replied quickly. “Memories can’t be easily erased. That’s why this realm has Meng Po’s Soup26 and the celestial realm has the Wangchen Terrace27. Other than those, one can only use spiritual energy to interfere, which isn’t a long-term solution. Chao Yun is a celestial immortal god; her will is a thousand times stronger than a mortal’s. For the Yi Bird to have caused such severe memory confusion in her, it must have expended a great deal of effort.”
“Mhm!” Yi Qiu listened with a serious expression.
“When I was interfering with Chao Yun’s memory, I could sense two seals within her body. One should be a divine power seal she placed herself, and the other is a memory seal placed by the Yi Bird—and the latter is extremely resistant to external forces.” You Yan closed her eyes and took a deep breath. “But I didn’t dare to probe deeper. I can only preliminarily conclude that this seal is likely connected to the Yi Bird’s heart-soul28. Otherwise, I wouldn’t have sensed such strong resistance at that moment.”
“You mean, as long as we break this seal, we can seriously injure the Yi Bird in one fell swoop?”
“If I’m not mistaken, that should be the case.”
“Mm… then how do we break this seal?” Yi Qiu’s eyes were filled with a thirst for knowledge as she looked at You Yan.
But You Yan suddenly fell silent, just looking back at her quietly.
After a short silence, Yi Qiu couldn’t help but press, “Why’d you stop talking?”
“I’m leaving you some room to think,” You Yan smiled. “Didn’t you want to prove yourself?”
“…”
Is it too late to take back what I said in the dream?
Compared to being the C29 myself, I much prefer to lie down and win.
The author has something to say:
As for adding a chapter30, allow me to pigeon31 for two days. The weather has been hot and cold lately, and I’ve caught a bit of a cold. My mental state isn’t great, so two chapters a day is my limit. There are still ten days left this month, and I swear I’ll add a chapter at least three more times. Also, everyone should take good care of their health and don’t catch a cold.
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