Little Alpaca – Chapter 14

Volume 1: Little Alpaca

Midnight Bed-Climbing.

It all happened too suddenly. The moment the system prompt sounded, the little alpaca timidly shrank its neck, its eyes wide and round.

You Yan was also looking at her, a hint of a daze in her eyes.

After a brief moment of staring at each other, the fear in Yi Qiu’s eyes gradually turned into baffled confusion.

Heaven knows how much effort it took for me not to completely lose control of my expression.

Yi Qiu subconsciously re-read the text description for the “Spit” talent in the system data. It really, truly only had one line: “The longer you charge it, the higher the damage.” There was no mention of this spit having any other effects.

But this wasn’t the first time spitting had increased the affection level!

I have the right to suspect, and I seriously suspect, that my spit contains some strange ingredients.

Otherwise, why would the villain’s affection level for me increase even after I spat right in her face?

Could it be that the biggest villain in 《Thin, Withered Branch》 is actually a masochist? She doesn’t like being admired, she just likes being humiliated?

As Yi Qiu’s thoughts reached this point, the corners of her eyes and mouth couldn’t help but twitch a couple of times.

She was still holding the posture of wanting to wipe You Yan’s face. Her thin little alpaca waist was held in You Yan’s hand, and the entire alpaca felt as if its vital point had been seized, not daring to move an inch.

She was pondering a question, a very profound question.

There are still three hundred points to go to reach one thousand affection. One spit adds one hundred points. So, if I were to spit three more times right here, right now, is it possible I could turn back into a human directly?

But she remembered that the last time she discovered spitting could increase affection, she had happily spat a few more times, only for the points to decrease instead of increase.

Considering she had played with fire a bit too much today, the little alpaca, who had the heart of a thief but not the guts¹, ultimately didn’t dare to continue her impudence.

Silence. After a long silence, the little alpaca sniffled and let out two soft “mm” sounds.

You Yan couldn’t help but frown. “Speak human.”

Yi Qiu fought back the urge to roll her eyes. She covered her mouth with a small hoof and shook her head, indicating she couldn’t speak.

The next second, You Yan seemed to realize and raised a hand, undoing the mute spell on her.

Yi Qiu carefully observed You Yan’s expression. Seeing that she truly showed no signs of wanting to eat her, she mustered her courage and asked timidly, “Master, I was wrong… You, you are a magnanimous person, you won’t hold this against someone like me, right?”

Judging from the result, this was obviously a pointless thing to say. After all, the affection level had already gone up, so was she really going to slaughter her?

But Yi Qiu also knew that staying silent like this wasn’t a solution. She was a pet who had just offended her master. The master could choose to forgive, but the pet had to give the master a way to step down².

Hearing this, You Yan’s furrowed brow slowly relaxed.

This reaction made Yi Qiu breathe a sigh of relief. As expected, once I gave her a way down, the great villain took it.

Not wanting to waste this wave of affection, Yi Qiu quickly struck while the iron was hot, saying in a small voice, “Master, I don’t want my fur sheared, it won’t look good… And, and it’ll be very cold when we go back.”

You Yan was silent for a moment, then reached out and rubbed the little alpaca’s ear. “Did I scare you?” she asked.

Yi Qiu let out a small whimper, too embarrassed to answer.

You Yan looked at Yi Qiu thoughtfully for a moment before finally letting go of her, getting up, and walking back to the table. She took out a silk handkerchief from somewhere and began to silently wipe her face.

Yi Qiu shifted into what looked like a very obedient posture, lying down dutifully by You Yan’s feet, not daring to say another word.

After a long while, You Yan tossed the handkerchief aside and said in a deep voice, “I was just joking with you earlier.”

Yi Qiu: “Huh?”

You Yan: “Since I have already channelled spiritual energy to protect you, the mortal world’s scorching heat can no longer harm you. Why would there be a need for such a troublesome matter?”

Hearing this, Yi Qiu was both surprised and delighted. She stared at You Yan, wanting to speak but hesitating for a long time before she finally dared to believe those words were true.

How did I not notice that I haven’t felt the sweltering heat since the moment I woke up?

No, no, to be precise, it wasn’t hot even in my dream!

Is this really not a dream? The great villain who only knows how to bully people every day can actually be so considerate.

Lost in thought, Yi Qiu subconsciously nibbled on her nails…

“Ptooey!” How did I forget these aren’t hands! I got a mouthful of dirt!

“Ptooey, ptooey, ptooey!” That’s disgusting!

Seeing the little alpaca suddenly bury its head and spit for a while, You Yan couldn’t help but frown again. “What, you have an objection?”

Yi Qiu quickly raised her head, her eyes full of innocence, and opened her mouth to deliver a standard three-part denial³. “I’m not, I didn’t, don’t misunderstand!” At the end, still feeling that taste in her mouth, she couldn’t help but “ptooey” twice more.

You Yan’s gaze turned a few degrees colder.

Seeing this, Yi Qiu’s survival instinct flared and she quickly explained, “I just, just now I accidentally… bit, bit my hand… er, foot, my toe…”

After speaking, as if feeling ashamed, she lowered her little head.

After a few seconds of silence, Yi Qiu heard a laugh that was more of a snort from the nose. It was so light, so faint it was like a fleeting breath.

But it was precisely this laugh that made Yi Qiu feel deeply humiliated.

You Yan is laughing at me, she must be laughing at me!

And isn’t it hilarious? Look, there’s a fool here who bit her own toe, and after biting it, tried to act like nothing happened, but ended up having to explain the whole story just because she was spitting out dirt!

If an alpaca’s fur could change color, I’d definitely be a red-faced alpaca right now!

If a pit appeared in front of me, I would definitely jump in and bury myself!

For a moment, Yi Qiu’s little head drooped lower and lower, as if it would hit the floor in the next second. But she didn’t end up kowtowing to You Yan, because before that could happen, You Yan got up and walked out of the guest room.

With You Yan’s departure, the room fell into silence.

Yi Qiu raised her head, craning her neck to look at the empty guest room, feeling a little lost.

“Where did You Yan go?” she asked the system, but the system couldn’t give an answer.

It’s good that she left, saves me the embarrassment.

Just as Yi Qiu was thinking this and about to get up to reach for the fruits on the table, wanting to eat something to get rid of the taste in her mouth, the door behind her creaked open with a zhiya. It scared her so much that she instantly fell back down with a thud, right onto the spot of her “humiliation.”

It hurt a little, but it was bearable.

This time, she buried her head between her two front legs.

You Yan walked over, her toe lightly tapping the little alpaca’s recently chubby belly.

The next second, Yi Qiu heard the sound of a water basin being placed on the floor.

You Yan: “Get up. Rinse your mouth.”

Yi Qiu: “Mmm…”

The little alpaca obediently raised her head and rinsed her mouth under You Yan’s gaze. Her mouth felt much better, and she subconsciously stuck her tongue out.

You Yan sat to the side, quietly watching the foolish little alpaca before her, a trace of warmth rising in her eyes.

“So stupid,” she said in a low voice.

Hearing this, Yi Qiu turned her head away in dissatisfaction and let out a small “Hmph.”

“Hungry?” You Yan asked.

Yi Qiu was originally sulking and didn’t want to respond, but her gluttony won out. She looked back at You Yan and answered in a small voice, “Hungry!”

That evening, You Yan ordered many fine dishes, and Yi Qiu ate to her heart’s content.

Their room was on the second floor of the inn, with a bustling market street outside the window. After finishing her meal, Yi Qiu went to the window and began to daze off.

This was the Human Realm. The people coming and going outside were all human. Even in the evening when the crowds began to thin, it was countless times more lively than the Demon Realm.

This is what a place where normal people should live looks like. If this villain You Yan had grown up here, maybe she wouldn’t have such a strange personality.

Regarding the main storyline, You Yan didn’t seem to be in any hurry at all, doing everything at a slow pace.

But she was in a hurry. She wanted to go home sooner rather than later.

I wonder which city in the Human Realm this is, how far it is from the Xianlu Sect⁴ in Moshui⁵, and what the male and female leads are doing right now…

When I really do run into them, how should I go about changing the story’s direction?

The little alpaca couldn’t help but fall into deep thought.

Seeing Yi Qiu leaning by the window for a long time, as if completely ignoring her existence, You Yan couldn’t help but let out a light cough.

Yi Qiu snapped back to reality and quickly pulled her head back into the room, lying down properly by the window.

You Yan looked Yi Qiu up and down and asked, “You like it here?”

Yi Qiu tilted her head and blinked. “It’s, it’s alright.”

You Yan asked again, “What were you thinking about just now?”

Yi Qiu shook her head, not daring to let out a fart⁶.

My entire purpose is to stop this Demon Lord’s grand ambition of reviving the Demon Race. If she finds out, forget seven hundred affection points, even ten thousand wouldn’t be enough to save my life.

Seeing that Yi Qiu didn’t answer, You Yan didn’t press further. She just waved her sleeve, shutting the window tight and adding a sound-proofing barrier, before saying faintly, “It’s noisy outside.”

“S-sorry…” Yi Qiu drooped her head guiltily.

You Yan didn’t say anything more. She just took off her shoes and socks, half-reclined on the bed, and closed her eyes to rest.

Yi Qiu breathed a sigh of relief when You Yan didn’t pursue the matter.

It’s probably not my imagination. After gaining two hundred affection points today, You Yan has become much easier to get along with.

She even seems a lot gentler.

In that case, chatting a bit to get some information shouldn’t be too hard, right?

With this thought, Yi Qiu suddenly moved like a thief, taking light, cat-like steps, inching her way to You Yan’s bedside before curling up at the foot of the bed.

She struggled with herself internally for a while before mustering up her courage, resting her little head on the edge of the bed, and looking at You Yan with eyes full of expectation.

She firmly believed that no one could ignore such a nearly scorching gaze.

Sure enough, after a few seconds of being stared at, You Yan slowly cracked open an eye.

Seeing this, Yi Qiu immediately scooted her face closer, her round eyes growing even wider.

You Yan: “…”

Yi Qiu: “Master!”

You Yan couldn’t help but turn slightly onto her side, propping up half her face with one hand, and meeting Yi Qiu’s gaze for a few seconds with a smile that wasn’t quite a smile.

She wanted to see just what medicine this foolish little alpaca was selling in its gourd⁷.

“Master!” Yi Qiu carefully organized her words and asked, “Do you like the Human Realm?”

“I don’t,” You Yan said, her tone indifferent.

“Then…” Yi Qiu felt awkward for a moment, then continued to ask, “Then are you familiar with the Human Realm?”

“I’m not,” You Yan’s tone didn’t change in the slightest.

Yi Qiu was at a loss for words.

My original plan was, if You Yan said she liked it, I would ask, “Where are we going to play next?”

If she said she didn’t like it, but was familiar with it, I could ask, “Then where in the Human Realm is more fun?”

You Yan came to the Human Realm specifically for the male lead. Besides the Xianlu Sect in Moshui City, where else could she go?

As long as I can find out the destination, then no matter how slowly You Yan moves, I can openly urge her on.

In short, the goal has to be set first before I can think about rushing the progress.

But how could Yi Qiu have expected You Yan to open with a two-part denial, directly cutting off everything she wanted to say next.

So annoying! A villain is a villain, after all. No matter how high the affection level, she’s still a difficult person to talk to.

Seeing Yi Qiu’s choked expression, You Yan’s eyes curved into a smile. She reached out and pinched her little ear, and after a moment of thought, she asked with a smile, “What? You’ve only been out for a day and your heart has already gone wild?”

“Huh?” Yi Qiu was stunned.

“You want to go out for a walk?” You Yan asked.

Hearing this, Yi Qiu’s eyes lit up, her mind racing. “Will Master accompany me?”

You Yan looked at Yi Qiu for a moment, then smiled. “You have a place you want to go?”

Yi Qiu giggled, putting on an honest, simple, and harmless expression, and said fawningly to You Yan, “Of course I’ll go wherever Master goes!”

You Yan nodded, pretending to ponder.

After a moment of silence, she rubbed Yi Qiu’s head and said faintly, “I’ve heard people say that in Jiangnan⁸, there is a Moshui City, a place where spiritual energy and beauty gather⁹.”

Yes, yes, yes, that’s the place!

This great villain has finally remembered where she’s supposed to go to cause trouble for the male lead!

“Then let’s go play there!” Yi Qiu said, then asked out of habit, “That Moshui City place, is it far from here? How long will it take to get there?”

You Yan thought for a moment and said, “About three days.”

The little alpaca couldn’t help but fall into deep thought.

After thinking, she seemed to deflate, muttering in a small voice, “You think I’ll believe you again?”

You Yan: “It really is three days.”

Yi Qiu: “The kind of ‘three days’ that I don’t qualify for?”

You Yan couldn’t help but let out a light chuckle.

The moment Yi Qiu heard it, she knew she had guessed right.

She snorted in dissatisfaction, curling her entire body up at the foot of the bed, every strand of her fur radiating an aura of “humbleness.”

“Angry?” You Yan sat up on the bed with a smile, her fingers trailing her sleeve as she brushed it back and forth over Yi Qiu’s little head.

Yi Qiu was tickled by the light, fluttering white sleeve. She stretched out her little leg to grab it a few times, but her hooves weren’t very dexterous and she couldn’t catch it. Annoyance suddenly flared up in her heart, and she opened her mouth, bit down on it, then looked up and glared resentfully at You Yan.

She didn’t know if it was her imagination, but for a split second, Yi Qiu felt that You Yan’s gaze was completely harmless to people and livestock¹⁰.

This was the first time she had seen a look resembling “innocence” on this woman’s face.

You Yan: “There are horses in the Human Realm.”

Yi Qiu paused, then said, “But I don’t know how to ride!”

You Yan: “There are carriages. You won’t get tired.”

After hearing this, Yi Qiu’s mood suddenly improved a lot. The anger that had filled her stomach just a moment ago vanished in an instant.

Fine. If I can’t take a plane, a long-distance bus will have to do.

Outside the tightly shut window, the sky had gradually darkened.

The little alpaca lying at the foot of the bed couldn’t help but let out a long yawn.

Yi Qiu wanted to sleep, but the floor was really hard and uncomfortable, so she couldn’t help but glance up at the bed several times.

This Demon Lord seems to have been asleep for a while.

She’s sleeping very close to the inside, with half her arm against the wall, leaving half the bed empty.

Yi Qiu couldn’t help but make a bold guess: the empty space was probably left for her. Yes, that must be it. Otherwise, why would You Yan leave half the bed empty for no reason?

Hah, leaving a spot on the bed for someone but not saying it out loud. What a tsundere¹¹.

“Forget it, forget it. Seeing as you were nice to me today, I won’t roast you,” Yi Qiu thought to herself, and with a leap, she jumped onto the bed.

But before her butt had even settled, she felt a sharp pain in her waist and was sent rolling off the bed against her will.

“What do you think you’re doing?” You Yan was awake, her kicking leg now tensed as she watched Yi Qiu silently.

Yi Qiu was kicked so hard she saw stars, and it took her a long while to come back to her senses.

Yi Qiu: “I just… wanted to sleep on the bed…”

You Yan: “There’s no room for you.”

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