Volume 3: Old Tales of Kunlun
You and that Thin Bucket1, are actually quite intimate.
Just how much saliva volume can a human mouth have?
With You Yan’s light “pah”, the air “pah-ed” out was far more than the saliva droplets. After all, when it comes to spitting saliva, humans are absolutely separated from alpacas by one hundred and eight thousand li2.
Yet despite this, as an alpaca, to unexpectedly get spat on by a bird looking like a human was absolutely considered the extraordinary shame and great humiliation3 of her alpaca life.
What was even more detestable was that she had been startled the moment she was “pah-ed” at. That split second of surprise clearly made You Yan receive it very well; at this very moment, she was actually cupping her alpaca head and, like a childish ghost4, “pah-ed” a face full of cool air at her.
After coming to this world, her only “specialty” was challenged by a layman bird; try asking, who could tolerate that?
To protect her dignity, the little alpaca finally, after a brief silence, didn’t think twice before spitting a face full of saliva right at You Yan.
That playful “pah pah pah” finally came to a stop.
The little alpaca instantly held her head high and puffed out her chest.
Alpacas were born sprayers5. In a competition of spraying saliva, could she be afraid of a little bird?
After a brief silence, You Yan frowned, released the hands cupping that alpaca head, and silently wiped the saliva off her face.
Yi Qiu saw that the corners of You Yan’s mouth hung with a few points of a smile, so she momentarily boldly started teasing her.
“I haven’t even spit on you that many times, yet you call me a Spit Sheep. Now that you’ve spit on me, what are you?” the little alpaca asked, tilting her head and deliberately mocking, “A Saliva Chicken6?!”
The next second, seeing You Yan raise a hand toward her, she instantly wimped out and shrank back a bit, pressing half her body tightly against the tub wall, hurriedly correcting herself: “Ai ai! Bird, bird, bird, it’s bird, Spit Bird…”
As her voice fell, that hand landed right on her head. There was no pain as imagined, only a bout of messy kneading.
In the end, You Yan smoothed her furrowed brows, and a smile even grew in the depths of her eyes.
After getting out of the bath, You Yan draped on a single layer of clothing, sat by the window, and stared blankly outside.
Yi Qiu stood by the tub behind the screen shaking her body for half a day7 before walking over, her wet fur all puffed up, to lie down beside You Yan.
The heavy snow in the dream had not stopped, and there was no sun in the sky; with a wet body of fur, she naturally felt very cold.
Not long after, a waiter brought in a fire basin, and the little alpaca lay by the basin to roast the fur on her body.
You Yan’s gaze would occasionally stagnate on Yi Qiu for a moment, but this staring would not be too long. Whenever Yi Qiu discovered it, she would nonchalantly turn her gaze to a side place.
Yi Qiu felt bored for a moment, and once her body of downy fur was dry, she took a nap by the fire basin.
Her way of interacting with You Yan seemed to have returned to the appearance at the beginning, but thinking about it carefully, it was completely different from back then.
Although You Yan still didn’t speak much, she was indeed much gentler to her than before.
At the depth of the night, Yi Qiu carefully jumped onto the bed.
She subconsciously looked toward the window at You Yan, who was resting with eyes closed and holding half her face. Seeing that she didn’t scold herself, she lay down steadily on the bed.
Hearing the movement, You Yan couldn’t help but open her eyes.
She saw the little alpaca use small hooves to kick open the folded quilt, then slowly smooth it out, and finally burrow her body into the bedding with clumsy postures like a puppy drilling a hole.
This little guy…
You Yan couldn’t help shaking her head, standing up to walk toward the bed.
Hearing the sound, Yi Qiu hurriedly drilled a head out from the bedding, looking at the approaching You Yan and asking in a whisper, “Do, do I need to get off the bed to sleep?”
You Yan was silent for a moment, then said, “No need.”
As she spoke, she also sat on the bed edge.
Yi Qiu was momentarily joyous, stretching her neck to gather close to You Yan’s side, grinning as she said, “I thought that since you recovered your memories, you were going to drive me down to hit the floor pallet8 again!”
“The weather is cold; sleeping on the bed is fine,” You Yan said. With a light tap of her finger, she used spiritual power to close the window and extinguish the candlestick burning on the table.
With a smile carried on the corners of her mouth, after covering the quilt well for the little alpaca, she also lay down on the bed.
Yi Qiu huddled in the quilt quietly gazing at You Yan’s side profile. After an unknown amount of time passed, she finally softly asked a sentence, “Do you want to sleep on the inside?”
“No need,” You Yan said, turning her body sideways, gazing at that little alpaca for a long time.
“What are you looking at me for all the time?” Yi Qiu couldn’t help asking.
“Nothing,” You Yan responded faintly, lying her body flat again and turning her gaze to the side.
“You have matters of the heart again and won’t tell me,” Yi Qiu said, pouting her mouth. “Fine if you won’t say it… You, you let me guess.”
Hearing this, You Yan couldn’t help but chuckle softly. “Then you go ahead and try guessing.”
The little alpaca let out an “En,” her small head pressing on the pillow, eyes bright and spirited, as if seriously thinking about something.
She didn’t think for too long before tilting her head slightly to look at You Yan again.
“Are you thinking, ‘How on earth should I get along with this Spit Sheep in the future?'”
“…”
“In the dream, all my old bottoms9 were seen through by this Spit Sheep. Just thinking about it feels awkward.”
“…”
“Did I guess right?”
As the little alpaca spoke, she reached out a small hoof and gently touched You Yan’s slender arm.
You Yan couldn’t help falling silent for a good half day, finally closing her eyes and saying faintly, “From when did you also dare to speculate on my thoughts?”
The little alpaca pouted and said, “If you dare to think it, you have to admit it. Tell me, did I guess right?”
She pressed again, but received no response.
After a brief awkwardness, Yi Qiu shifted her body, scooting up to You Yan’s side and pasting the warm self against You Yan’s somewhat ice-cool arm.
“I’ll just ask you, do you remember all those things that happened in the Kunlun Mountains10?” Yi Qiu asked, then added a sentence, “I mean, in this dreamscape, those matters between us.”
“Don’t have that much mental energy to remember,” You Yan responded indifferently.
“I don’t believe it!” Yi Qiu said, squinting eyes with a smile. “You always say I’m childish, that I’m clumsy and silly, but the you in the dream was also a little fart child11!”
“…”
“Understanding nothing, good to cheat and good to bully,” Yi Qiu said, her gaze drifting for a moment as if falling into a segment of memory.
Thinking and thinking, she suddenly laughed out loud, her small hoof forcefully touching You Yan’s elbow.
“You Yan, do you still remember, you said you wanted to be husband and wife with me?”
“You…”
“It’s really too funny. You ei, You Yan ei, Lord Mozun12! You actually said such words to an alpaca in a dream. You were really silly when you were little too… En, en~~en?”
Perfectly good words, speaking and speaking until suddenly there was no sound.
Without a doubt, she had been “silenced” by You Yan again. Whether inside the dream or out, You Yan could easily block up her mouth.
Good fellow13, double-standard monster14, authority bird15!
Only allowed to bully the alpaca herself, but not allowed to permit the alpaca to laugh at herself!
Thinking of this, Yi Qiu couldn’t help grinding her teeth, twisting her head to the side to generate stifled anger.
Getting angry and getting angry, the person lying flat behind her unexpectedly reached out and embraced her soft, cottony neck.
“En~~” Yi Qiu subconsciously twisted her body.
This bird woman. She doesn’t want the alpaca to talk, yet still wants to hug the alpaca to sleep. Don’t you think that’s too excessive?
Seeing the little alpaca twisting intensely, making the bed tremble, You Yan couldn’t help but chuckle softly.
“Don’t fuss, sleep,” she said, rubbing the back of Yi Qiu’s neck and gently releasing that silencing spell.
The little alpaca no longer fussed, only pouting her mouth. Just as she wanted to bibi16 a little something, she faintly saw a trace of a blush on You Yan’s face.
In that instant, she couldn’t help looking dazed.
This bird woman, why did she suddenly blush?
Was mentioning those dark histories17 from the dream really so shameful for her?
Yi Qiu looked curiously at You Yan, whose eyes were closed, for a long time, and a few points of a smile suddenly grew in the bottom of her eyes.
But to avoid being silenced again, she ultimately only lightly said one sentence to You Yan: “Goodnight.”
Goodnight, thin-skinned bird woman.
Perhaps because they were in an illusion, and the spiritual power in her body was suppressed to some extent by the Floating Dream Pearl, You Yan’s injuries did not recover quickly.
On the fifth day after escaping Kunlun Mountain, Yi Qiu transformed back into human form with You Yan’s help. Although she had rarely taken care of others growing up, this time, she took meticulous care of this wounded patient who hadn’t actually lost mobility.
She originally thought You Yan would recuperate in this illusion for quite a while, but she didn’t expect that as soon as You Yan recovered thirty percent of her strength, she would already be thinking about methods to leave.
It wasn’t that You Yan didn’t know how to break through the illusion, but she was worried that a Yi Bird18 would be guarding outside the illusion. After all, her current injuries were too severe, and she didn’t have full confidence in dealing with that Yi Bird.
Precisely because of this, Yi Qiu applied pressure to the System.
“I don’t care what method you use, I want to know the situation outside!”
It had to be said that this unreasonable tone was often really effective, just like a superior facing a corporate livestock19 employee; as long as enough pressure was given, some results could always be squeezed out.
After Yi Qiu carried out multiple threats against the System, the System finally gave a decent reply.
【The Floating Dream Pearl is a personal possession of the Yi Bird, Yu Su. If one wishes to leave the Floating Dream Pearl illusion, the Yi Bird will inevitably be alerted.】
“Are you talking nonsense to me?”
【The Yi Bird was once wounded by the Heavenly Fire of the Huodou20. This injury damaged the heart meridians. It flares up every time the moon is round, causing unbearable pain. She must immerse herself in the Spirit Pool of Snake Mountain and regulate her breath beside the Five-Color Thousand-Leaf Lotus for the whole night.】
“Every time the moon is round, she becomes very weak?”
【Yes. Every meeting of the full moon is when the Yi Bird is weakest.】
Yi Qiu couldn’t help freezing, suddenly remembering that in the original text, the night the big villain You Yan killed the Yi Bird, Yu Su, was also a full moon night.
At that time, the Yi Bird had claimed her bento21 very suddenly, and below the text, quite a few readers were frantically swiping question marks.
——The Yi Bird’s cultivation base isn’t low either, how could she be taken out by You Yan so easily?
——So abrupt, really so abrupt!
Yet regarding this, Little Bird Coo Coo Fly22 did not make any explanation.
Accurately speaking, after Little Bird Coo Coo Fly wrote Jiang Yuyao to death, the novel’s subsequent plot was already like a wild horse off the reins, sprinting wildly on the road of pitting dads23 with indomitable will.
She never made any explanations for the readers’ doubts again, as if while writing and writing, she herself had blackened24 alongside the male lead, her heart set only on destroying the entire world within the novel.
Looking at it now, this pit-dad author didn’t lack settings to explain everything reasonably; it was just that when writing to the mid-to-late stages, she no longer had the mind to properly fill the pits25 and finish writing the whole story seriously.
Truly an irresponsible author…
Forget it, don’t want to think about it! Regardless of anything, this is a very good breakthrough point.
Yi Qiu didn’t think much and directly informed You Yan of this news.
You Yan finished listening and couldn’t help wrinkling her brows.
“What’s wrong?” Seeing You Yan suddenly wrinkle her brows, Yi Qiu became nervous for a moment.
“You and that Thin Bucket are actually quite intimate,” You Yan said, staring at Yi Qiu rather unhappily. “Speaking whispered words so no one else can hear.”
“I…”
This is all where and where26 ah?
Is this the main point!
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