Little Alpaca – Chapter 128

Volume 3: Old Tales of Kunlun

Then I Will Accompany You.

——I want to remember you.

Yi Qiu could not help but curiously wonder, what was You Yan thinking in her heart when she said those words?

Did this girl, who grew up lonely amidst endless malice, feel a trace of an emotion named “yearning” toward life and the future for the first time?

Perhaps, she wanted to remember everything, remember the self that had finally walked toward the light, and not merely just a small alpaca that was easy to bully.

“Leave this dreamscape, and you will remember me,” You Yan said in a low voice. “Therefore, we must leave here safely; we cannot be covered in cuts and bruises by this nightmare…”

“Are you here to protect me?” You Yan asked softly.

“How could I…” Yi Qiu flattened her mouth and muttered in a whisper, “Although I really want to… really, really want to be able to protect you. But in fact, it has always been you protecting me; I am just one who drags the hind legs¹.”

“No,” You Yan said with certainty. “You are not.”

“…Ah?”

“If everything I have experienced over these five hundred years is just a nightmare… then you, are the only warmth in this dream that belongs to me.”

She said, even if her father had not left, so what? Even if she really had possessed a Little Red Flower, so what?

Guarding a room that would never open, accompanied by a little yao² that would never speak, she was still that highly poisonous Qinyuan³ in Kunlun Mountain⁴ that everyone loathed.

No one needed her. She merely thought that Father needed her care, and Little Red Flower needed her companionship, that was all.

She said, before meeting Yi Qiu, she never knew that she herself was also worthy of being needed by someone, worthy of being relied upon by someone.

“I especially like hearing you call my name… even though I have always known that you are actually hiding many things from me, when you said you would always accompany me, I was still so happy.”

“You, so you… you always knew that I was hiding things from you…” Yi Qiu could not help but shrink her neck.

“You, when you speak, it really is full of loopholes. I am not stupid, how could I not see it?” You Yan said, closing her eyes and using her forehead to gently rub against the fluff on the back of the little alpaca’s head, whispering, “But so what? Could I possibly abandon you?”

“Have you… ever been afraid?” Yi Qiu could not help asking timidly. “Keeping an alpaca full of lies by your side, have you ever been afraid?”

“You are so small and weak, could you possibly hurt me?” The words You Yan spoke should have been incomparably confident, yet her tone was gentle to the point of worrying about personal gains and losses⁵.

Accustomed to being disdained as small and weak by You Yan, Yi Qiu did not get angry, nor did she speak.

After a brief silence, You Yan opened her mouth once again.

“I am not afraid of you hurting me; I am only afraid that you will suddenly leave.” She said, “I thought, as long as I treat you well enough, perhaps you really won’t be able to leave me. When that time comes, you will naturally tell me those words you previously found inconvenient to say, with your own mouth…”

Until this moment, Yi Qiu finally understood why that bird woman knew she was full of lies yet never forced her to confess anything.

“I…”

“Just like now, you finally have no more concealments from me.”

Yi Qiu could not help taking a deep breath. After having a guilty conscience for a few seconds, she responded softly, “No matter what happens, you can believe me, believe that I definitely will not hurt you… I, I like you.”

“I know,” You Yan said softly. “From the first time you called my name, I knew…”

“The first time? Which time…”

“In the dream, you cried, your throat was hoarse, yet your mouth kept calling my name.”

“…”

That really is a shameful black history⁶, she thought. In the future when leaving this dreamscape, she would definitely be grabbed by the bird woman and laughed at repeatedly.

No, not necessarily!

Now she also holds a pile of that bird woman’s black history in her hand. If that bird woman dares to laugh at her, she will mutually hurt that bird woman!

Thinking like this, Yi Qiu could not stop snickering and trembled her body, then hurriedly suppressed the smile again.

Time secretly slipped away minute by minute and second by second. Inside that narrow wooden house, it was so quiet there was only their breathing, as well as the sounds of the little alpaca occasionally sniffing her nose and sneezing.

Just like this, the little alpaca slept peacefully in the maiden’s embrace, a night without dreams.

After that day, You Yan actually expanded this tiny wooden house bit by bit into a not-so-large courtyard residence.

She said, even if this dreamscape might dissipate without a trace before long, while the dreamscape was still here, she wanted to give the little alpaca a home where she could pass every day and night steadily.

Those few days, You Yan would run outside whenever she had nothing to do. When returning, she would definitely bring some things. For example, tables, chairs, benches, bed sheets, and bedding, as well as pots, bowls, ladles, and basins obtained from who knows where.

In a moment, this crooked little residence became much more like a home.

Although it was still very crude, Yi Qiu was already extremely moved.

The little alpaca’s illness recovered on the fourth day. On the day the illness was cured, she forgot the pain once the scar healed, insisting on going out with You Yan to search for clues about that “mirror.”

But in the end, she knew nothing at all about what that mirror actually was or what kind of disturbance it had caused, and the System refused to reveal even half a word.

Searching like this was just like a headless fly⁷, constantly crashing around in a room with doors and windows explicitly shut, unable to find a way out no matter what.

Yi Qiu hated it; she hated that she hadn’t forced You Yan to speak clearly back then, causing her to be unable to find even half a direction at this moment.

Yet that little bad bird seemed to not be anxious at all.

Every day she carried that little alpaca on her back, wandering around everywhere, yet she did not really ask people inquiries. Saying they were “looking for” something, it was more like… looking at the scenery?

“We have to find someone to ask about the mirror!” The little alpaca said anxiously.

“Who is willing to speak with me?” You Yan asked back indifferently.

After a brief speechlessness, Yi Qiu used her chin to forcefully press down on the top of You Yan’s head, muttering dissatisfiedly in a low voice, “How are you not anxious at all? So… I am the eunuch who is anxious while the emperor is not⁸?”

Upon hearing this, You Yan could not help shaking her head and laughing once, saying, “If something incredible really happens during the Queen Mother of the West’s⁹ birthday, then what ought to come cannot be dodged. What is the use of being anxious?”

“But…”

“Yi Qiu, such days, living one day means one less day left,” You Yan said in a low voice. “I know, you want me to turn back into that ‘her’ in your heart, but I do not have her memories. All my memories are in this Kunlun Mountain, I… only exist in this dreamscape.”

“You Yan…”

“I am a little afraid.” You Yan said, unable to refrain from smiling bitterly. “I am afraid that once this dreamscape dissipates, I will not exist.”

“How could that be? You…”

“I know it won’t, but I am afraid, so… I cherish every day and night together with you.” You Yan bit her lip, her tone hesitant. “I want to remember you, yet am a little… unwilling to leave this dreamscape… because, at least now, at least at this moment, I am not lonely.”

You Yan said she found it hard to imagine what the future self was like, and even harder to imagine what she had actually faced to become that appearance Yi Qiu spoke of.

But she knew, knew very clearly, that she could not escape.

Since she could not escape, then before everything arrived, was it not good to steadily have a true sweet dream?

“…Sweet dream?”

“Sweet dream.” What she sought in this life was actually very little. “Having you by my side is enough.”

Yi Qiu took a deep breath, subconsciously pasting herself a few degrees closer to You Yan.

She did not understand how to empathize with her, yet her heart unconsciously felt a dull pain.

Perhaps, she should not think about how to escape the cruel facts destined to arrive in this nightmare; what she should do was accompany You Yan and experience all that together.

She should accompany her to endure through it.

Even if this was just a dreamscape.

After waking from the dream, You Yan should also have an extra segment of memory—in that memory, she no longer endured all the suffering alone, but had a little alpaca of no great use, who, no matter what happened, always stayed by her side.

Such a memory, although false, was also real.

Everything in the past cannot be changed, but even if she cannot go to You Yan’s past, being able to accompany her for a leg of the journey in the dream is also good.

“Then I will accompany you,” the little alpaca said softly, seeming to hear the maiden’s extremely light and low laughter beside her ears.

From that day on, Yi Qiu put down the burden in the bottom of her heart and peacefully lived incredibly ordinary days accompanying You Yan.

The little bad bird was not as good at talking as the little sweet bird; most of the time she was very quiet, just like Little Red Flower, or perhaps the real bird woman.

But Yi Qiu did not feel bored. Perhaps she had long become accustomed to the feeling of staying by You Yan’s side like this; without needing too many words, as long as she could see You Yan, she would feel very at ease.

Sometimes she would also think, if this were not a dream, if she and You Yan could always stay in these quiet years and no longer had to face so many unlucky things, perhaps it would not be a bad thing.

Sure enough, no matter how much she experienced, she was still a salted fish¹⁰ content with the status quo.

It was just that no matter how content with the status quo she was, she could not help but think of the outside world.

She and You Yan had stayed in this dream for at least half a year; how was the time outside circulating?

Had Fuzhu¹¹ and Huodou¹² returned to Ao’an Mountain¹³? How would Xun Chi¹⁴ be punished by the Heaven Realm for this?

Without her and You Yan, would Jiang Yuyao and Luo Mingyuan be unable to deal with that Yi Bird¹⁵ hiding in the dark?

Was Zhaoyun found?

These questions really made one’s head ache just thinking about them.

She had also tried asking the System about the protagonist’s current status. That useless System, however, said that blocked by the Floating Dream Pearl illusion, it could not obtain outside information.

Forget it, tired, won’t think about it.

Better to be happy as a salted fish.

As things stood, she could only walk one step and look one step. Anyway, with You Yan here, there should be no difficulty that could not be passed.

Yi Qiu thought as much, casting her gaze toward You Yan who was sitting by the door in a daze.

The next second, You Yan seemed to sense the gaze behind her, and also turned her head to look at that little alpaca for a moment.

“Come here,” she said softly.

“What is wrong?” The little alpaca walked curiously to You Yan’s side and obediently lay down.

You Yan reached out and kneaded her neck. Seeing her shrink her neck, she then smiled and said, “Just wanted to touch you.”

Yi Qiu: “…”

Forget it, as long as she is happy.

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