Little Alpaca – Chapter 111

Volume 3: Old Tales of Kunlun

What I like is you, not what you look like.

Time flew in a flash; summer left and autumn came.

Before she knew it, Yi Qiu had already been in these Kunlun Mountain for more than two months.

Because of her various little requests, that originally empty and large tree hollow was furnished with one piece of “furniture” after another, filling up bit by bit.

However, all this furniture was exceptionally crude.

For example, the “table” for eating was a large wooden stump, the “door curtain” for the tree hollow entrance was two large tattered cloths pieced together from scraps picked up from who-knows-where, and the “lamp” inside the hollow was a ball of spiritual power that You Yan had left here. When night fell, covering it with a cloth was considered “turning off the light.”

In addition to this, You Yan had also laid down a wooden floor, built a stove outside, and put together a crooked kitchen, which even had a rain shelter on top that looked like it could collapse at any moment.

You Yan said that they only looked a bit flimsy; in reality, she had reinforced them all with spiritual power, so they were very sturdy and wouldn’t collapse easily.

As You Yan said this, she even kicked the pillar at the side a few times with all her might, and it truly didn’t even tremble in the slightest.

Unwittingly, this place had already started to resemble a home. To describe it, it would be what people call “a sparrow may be small, but it has all its vital organs¹.”

Although You Yan came here every day, so much so that one could say she came rain or shine, she wasn’t here every single moment of every day, after all.

When You Yan wasn’t around, Yi Qiu would lie on the bed or daze off under the sunlight outside, and occasionally she would chat with Little Red Flower.

But Little Red Flower could only write words, making communication still a bit strenuous. Moreover, when that little spider slept, it made no distinction between day and night. As long as it was tired, it would hang itself on its web at any time and enter a motionless state, making it hard to tell if it was cultivating or sleeping. In any case, Yi Qiu felt it was quite rude to disturb it.

As the days passed one by one in what could be considered great leisure, Yi Qiu often reminded herself in her heart not to forget to find a way to wake that bird woman up.

But no matter how she probed, she could only determine that You Yan retained some fragmented memories of the outside world, with no way to make her truly recall anything.

This feeling was like a fist punching into cotton²; it was simply a waste of energy.

As a salty fish³ who was at ease with her circumstances, she quickly lost her hard-won fighting spirit. Under You Yan’s care, she lived the simplest of mountain wilderness lives, day after day.

Because there were too many immortal spirits and demon spirits in Kunlun Mountain who detested You Yan, there were relatively few places she dared to go, so she didn’t take Yi Qiu out to play very often.

For Yi Qiu, her days consisted of eating and drinking, chatting with You Yan, watching You Yan play little games like flicking pebbles or tossing sandbags by herself, or climbing to the top of this giant dead tree to gaze at the scenery of Kunlun Mountain from afar.

Although these things were boring, they were indeed very good at killing time.

Sometimes, she couldn’t help but recall that memory belonging to someone else from Ao’an Mountain.

So this was what the days and nights in an otherworldly immortal paradise were like, so irresistible. Perhaps what people often called “the years are quiet and good⁴” was precisely these kinds of years, this kind of quiet and beauty?

Suddenly one night, just before Yi Qiu went to sleep, Little Red Flower very abruptly expressed with emotion——You Yan has changed so much recently.

Hearing this, Yi Qiu’s interest was piqued. “What was the You Yan of the past like?”

Little Red Flower thought for a long time, then gathered its faint spiritual power to write line after line of crooked characters on the ground.

It said that the You Yan of the past didn’t like to laugh so much, nor did she talk so much, and she certainly wouldn’t play so happily with anyone.

The You Yan of the past liked to talk to herself, or sit in one place and quietly daze off.

But perhaps that was because it was still just a little mute at the time and couldn’t speak, so it couldn’t communicate with You Yan as barrier-free as Yi Qiu could.

It said that the You Yan of the past was extremely insecure and always liked to hang her head. No matter who she met, the words she said most often, from start to finish, were “I’m sorry” and “I’m terribly sorry.”

The You Yan of the past cared deeply about the opinions of others. Disgust and fear would both make her feel sad. Everything she did was an effort to please those who disliked her, as if by doing so she could receive a sliver of kindness from others.

But it was different now. She no longer seemed to take those malicious gazes to heart.

She was no longer like before, abandoning herself to being dirty every day simply because she felt no one cared.

She started to sneak off to bathe in places very, very far away every few days, started to learn how to braid her own hair properly, and also seemed to… suddenly start trying to love herself, to love the sunrises and moonsets, the mountains and waters here.

This is so good. It had never even imagined that it would be able to see the You Yan of today.

“In the past, she didn’t love this place either?”

——Of course not. No one here loved her, so why should she love this place?

Yi Qiu stared at that sentence on the ground, watching as it dissipated bit by bit along with the spiritual power, and couldn’t help but fall into a daze.

In the time they had spent together, You Yan had always been like an ordinary girl who would cry and laugh, play and make a fuss… She had thought, she had thought that the young You Yan had also once simply loved this world.

So, it wasn’t as she had thought…

——Yi Qiu, you don’t know.

“I… I don’t know what?”

——I’m not very good with words, but I feel that, to her, you are…

Little Red Flower wrote up to this point, seemed to ponder for a moment, and only then did it continue to earnestly write out the unfinished sentence.

——You are like a light.

“…”

In that instant, Yi Qiu actually felt her eyes and the tip of her nose sting with a bit of sourness, and her vision blurred, if only for a moment.

She subconsciously avoided Little Red Flower’s gaze and, holding back tears, looked toward the incomparably gentle, you-green⁵ spiritual light that You Yan had left by her “bed.”

What are you doing, light this, light that, it’s so cliché!

What era am I from? This old trope of light and redemption that’s been written to death in novels, could you please not use it on me?

I… I’m clearly so terrible, so noisy and clamorous, not to mention dramatic, and I have a ton of trivial bullshit problems every day.

Could she really be that important to You Yan?

Could she be… could she be half as important as Fuzhu was in Huodou’s heart?

If one day, she left, and if this world still existed, what would You Yan do?

Yi Qiu pondered for a long time, her thoughts a chaotic mess.

When she realized she still hadn’t given Little Red Flower a response and subconsciously turned her head back, wanting to say something to it, she found that Little Red Flower had already quietly hung itself back on the small spiderweb in the corner.

And the words on the ground had also completely dissipated without a trace, as if they had never existed.

She stretched out her little hoof, covered that “spirit lamp” with the tattered cloth, and, holding that pile of chaotic thoughts, entered that night’s dream.

When she woke up, You Yan was sitting just outside the tree hollow, making today’s breakfast.

Yi Qiu climbed to her feet, shook her fluffy little head, and subconsciously moved closer to You Yan.

The little alpaca came up behind the young girl, craning her neck to get a clear look at today’s breakfast. Unfortunately, the breakfast was still in the steamer, and she couldn’t see a thing.

But, it smelled so good.

Yi Qiu: “What are you making?”

You Yan: “Zhenggao⁶!”

Yi Qiu couldn’t help but swallow, tucking her two little hooves under her as she plopped down on the wooden floor.

You Yan had come very early. Not long after Yi Qiu woke up, the zhenggao was ready. While it was still hot, she ate two large pieces in one go.

After finishing breakfast, You Yan tidied up the kitchen, then habitually sat down beside Yi Qiu and reached out to stroke the fur on her body.

You Yan always loved to pet her. It was like this outside the illusion, and it remained so inside the illusion.

The only difference was probably that when the You Yan outside petted her, her eyes wouldn’t show joy or happiness, whereas this You Yan inside the illusion wrote all her happiness and unhappiness, her likes and dislikes, all over her face. The little alpaca no longer needed to guess at anything.

In the past, she could never tell if You Yan truly cared about her, but now, she could.

This feeling was actually quite nice.

Thinking this, she couldn’t help but close her eyes, enjoying the caresses of the person beside her.

Suddenly, she heard You Yan speak.

“Yi Qiu, Little Red Flower cultivates every day. Why do you never cultivate?”

“…”

It had to be said, this question made the alpaca who was a salty fish feel extremely awkward.

She swore to the heavens, it really wasn’t that she didn’t want to cultivate, but that she wasn’t a real demon spirit at all and had no idea how to cultivate.

All the demonic power in her body was basically given to her by You Yan…

You Yan had said that she would teach her how to cultivate after they returned to the Demon Realm, but hadn’t they been dragged into this godforsaken place before they had time to finish everything and go back…

Yi Qiu thought for a good while before finally saying, “I, I do cultivate. You just don’t see it.”

“Is that so.” You Yan said, humming softly for a moment before adding, “You should work a little harder.”

“Mm…”

“Otherwise, how long will it take for you to cultivate a human form?” You Yan said.

Yi Qiu couldn’t help but freeze. “Human form?”

“Yeah, don’t you want to be like me?”

“You, you…” Yi Qiu stammered for a moment, unable to resist asking, “You want me to become a person?”

“Of course!” You Yan said earnestly. “I want you to grow up, I want you to take on a human appearance.”

“But, after I become human, I won’t have any fur. Don’t you really like petting my fur?”

“…” Hearing this, You Yan thought about it seriously and said, “Although it’s a bit of a shame, I still hope you can be like a person. Otherwise, it makes it seem like you’re a little pet I’m raising… But you’re not my pet. We’re friends, really, really good friends.”

Yi Qiu opened her mouth, as if wanting to say something, yet she didn’t know what she could say.

After a brief silence, she pressed her lips together and mumbled in a small voice, “Maybe I’m not good-looking. After you see me, you’ll wish I’d change back.”

Without even thinking, You Yan hugged her neck and said earnestly, “I won’t! I’ll like you no matter what you look like!”

“…”

“Because, what I like is you, not what you look like.”

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The author has something to say:

Sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet, so sweet it makes your teeth ache! Seeing as the author is working so hard to give out candy⁷, remember to leave a comment on the previous chapter too!

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