Life is Like a Journey – Chapter 9

Volume 1: Rise

Despair

If the withering of a flower cannot make you feel sadness…

“You take the lead, I’ll assist you,” she quietly gave up the lead position when Qin Xuan returned.

“Okay,” Qin Xuan took the scalpel handed over by Hao Renjie and gently incised the endometrium.¹

“Anesthesiologist, monitor the fetal heartbeat.”

“Okay.”

With everyone’s efforts, the premature baby was taken out from the mother’s uterus, while the mother’s body was gradually getting colder.

Yu Gui sat on the ground beside the ambulance, burying her head in her knees and crying silently.

Qin Xuan personally cut the umbilical cord of the baby, wrapped it in non-woven fabric, and held it in her arms: “Congratulations, it’s a boy. He needs to go back to the hospital for further examination; having stayed in a hypoxic environment² for too long may lead to brain damage. You need to be mentally prepared.”

Zhao Ping, lying on the stretcher, glanced at the child with relief, but tears streamed down again at the thought of his wife.

“Let’s go, we’re done,” she placed the child into the incubator and called Lu Qingshi back.

It was unclear when the rain began to fall. Yu Gui got up from beside the ambulance and walked over to squat next to the pregnant woman.

She randomly wiped her face, not knowing if it was rain or tears, and lifted the surgical drape covering the pregnant woman.

“Hey…” Lu Qingshi stopped her, revealing a hint of fatigue at this moment, her eyes dull and lacking luster. It was only then that Qin Xuan noticed her white coat was completely soaked.

Half was blood, half was sweat.

Yu Gui trembled as she held the suturing needle, crying while stitching, desperately biting her lower lip to keep herself from crying out loud.

Hao Renjie tried to pull her away: “Let’s go, let’s go. It’s pouring rain, and the funeral home will be here soon to collect the body.”

Yu Gui was completely soaked as well, the rainwater dripping down her hair like broken pearls. She shook off Hao Renjie’s hand, choking back her sobs: “I… my mom had a difficult labor when she gave birth to me… The doctor said… told her to give up…”

She babbled incoherently: “I… I saved someone today… I’m really very happy… I just feel… that even leaving should be done with dignity… In the next life… find a good man to marry…”

She suddenly lifted her head, not allowing her tears to fall into the still-unstitched abdominal cavity.

But unexpectedly, she fell into the warmth of an umbrella.

It was unclear when the rain stopped beside her; Lu Qingshi held the umbrella for her, silently and wordlessly.

Gu Yanzhi was also nearby, holding an umbrella, stopping in her tracks and calling to her comrades: “Let’s go, we’re done. Everyone else can head back to the dorms to rest, except for those on duty.”

By the time they returned to the hospital, the eastern sky was already lightening. The baby was sent to the neonatal intensive care unit, and Zhao Ping’s vital signs had stabilized. Lu Qingshi went to report the situation to her superiors, while Yu Gui hid alone in the doctor’s on-call room, feeling dazed, her mind filled with the image of the blood-soaked pregnant woman.

That was a living life fading away right in front of her, and she couldn’t remain indifferent.

She remembered the first day she put on her white coat and stood under the national flag to take the oath, her youthful voice declaring solemn words: “The health of the people is at stake, and their lives entrusted to me. As I step into the sacred medical institution, I solemnly swear—”

I volunteer to dedicate myself to medicine, love my country, be loyal to the people, uphold medical ethics, respect my teachers and abide by the rules, work diligently, pursue knowledge tirelessly, strive for excellence, and develop comprehensively.

I am determined to do everything in my power to eliminate human suffering, to assist in the perfection of health, to uphold the sanctity and honor of medicine, to save the dying and heal the wounded, to endure hardships, and to pursue relentlessly, dedicating my life to the development of my country’s medical and health and to the physical and mental health of humanity.

At that time, her teacher said: “If the withering of a flower cannot make you feel sadness, how can you be a doctor? Compared to medical skills and ethics, what doctors need more is empathy. When you can genuinely connect with the patient from the bottom of your heart, when you can feel her pain, you are not far from being a true doctor.”

Today, she saved a life but also witnessed the dissipating of another. This was fundamentally different from what she learned in medical school; here, doctors were like surgical machines.

They were excellent, they were perfect, they were cold-blooded.

Yu Gui buried her head in her knees, curling up like an ostrich, letting the phone beside her vibrate incessantly without answering it.

“The situation is like this,” Lu Qingshi finished her report and was about to turn to leave when the hospital director called out to her, trembling as he took off his white coat from the nearby coat rack and handed it to her.

“Child, you’ve worked hard. Change your clothes and go see outpatients,” the elderly director said, adjusting his reading glasses, his hair gray at the temples, speaking in a calm and warm tone.

She could look down on anyone, but she held enough respect for this elderly director of the university hospital, who still stood firm at the operating table even after reaching his sixties.

Lu Qingshi slightly bent her body: “Thank you.”

“The new one, why are you hiding in the on-call room? Can’t you see there’s a pile of work outside? Go check on the patients,” a colleague knocked on the door repeatedly.

Yu Gui had no choice but to get up, weakly saying, “I’m coming.”

As she moved the bed, the patient was a young man. The weight of the stretcher was heavy, and Yu Gui’s legs felt weak. She nearly slipped, but Hao Renjie quickly steadied the stretcher.

“Hey, what’s wrong with you? If you drop that hand, the bone you just set will need to be re-cast. Go, go, don’t be a hindrance here. Check if the IV for bed fifteen is done. If it is, give her another bag,” he urged.

“Okay,” Yu Gui dragged her heavy feet over, just as she was about to change the medication when the head nurse glanced over and suddenly became furious, pointing her finger at Yu Gui in front of the family.

“What’s going on, newcomer? You can’t even lift the bed properly, and changing medication is clearly written on the doctor’s orders as sodium bicarbonate.³ Look at what you’ve given the patient!” The head nurse held up the bottle right in front of her eyes.

“Sodium cefoperazone!⁴ Changing the medication wrong could kill someone!” Yu Gui stammered, “I…”

“What do you mean, ‘I’? It’s always you! I don’t know how the medical office recruits people. They dare to hire all kinds of worthless folks at Renji’s First Affiliated Hospital!” The head nurse glared at her, and Yu Gui lowered her head, looking like a frightened rabbit.

“Exactly! What kind of doctor are you? This is so irresponsible!” The patient’s family, recovering from their shock, stepped forward and pushed her.

“And that time you changed the medication for my dad too—sticking the needle several times without getting it in, his hand swelled up so high! How can an eighty-year-old man handle all this torture from you?!”

During the scuffle, Yu Gui’s name badge was pulled off and fell to the ground, where several family members stepped on it.

Yu Gui lowered her head deeply: “I’m sorry.”

She looked at the photo on her name badge lying on the ground, her bright eyes and white teeth showing a joyful smile, and tears suddenly streamed down her face.

“Newcomer, can you help me get lunch from the cafeteria at noon? I want fish-flavored shredded pork,” a colleague said.

“I want that too! I want noodles with scallion oil, but no scallions, and extra spicy!” another colleague chimed in.

“The newcomer, my package has arrived. The security guard put it by the front door; can you help me get it? I can’t leave right now,” a colleague said, slurping up instant noodles while watching a video on the computer.

“Hey, can you also grab some takeout for me? It’s not far, just a few steps,” another colleague added.

A few young nurses also gathered around: “Hey, you doctors still get a lunch break, while we have to stay on duty in the ward during ours.”

Yu Gui forced a smile: “What do you all want to eat? I’ll go buy it for you.”

“Ah! You’re so nice!”

The young nurses cheered up, completely forgetting that they had once scolded her or coldly watched as others berated her.

So during the entire lunch break, Yu Gui was running around, helping others get water, picking up packages, delivering takeout, organizing materials, and taking them to the medical office, among other tasks.

When she came out of the medical office, she just happened to bump into Xu Qiankun. She quickly lowered her head and bent at the waist: “Hello, Director Xu.”

Xu Qiankun stopped and sized up the young woman: “Oh—what was your name again?”

Yu Gui nodded and bowed: “Yu Gui, Yu Gui.”

Finally, he remembered; she was the daughter of the rural woman who had given him money. Although her mother was not particularly good-looking and dressed out of style, the daughter was quite beautiful.

Xu Qiankun reached out and patted her shoulder: “I heard you went out on the ambulance last night. It’s really tough for a girl to do this; not everyone is as talented and capable as your Director Lu.”

Yu Gui turned her head to look at him. Xu Qiankun withdrew his hand with a smile that held deeper meaning: “The free-range eggs your mother sent last time were very delicious. Please thank her for me.”

“By the way,” he took a couple of steps out before turning back: “If you want to switch to a lighter environment, you can always do so. Just…”

Smart people know when to leave things unsaid. Yu Gui quickly bowed and ran away, unable to suppress the nausea in her stomach.

Xu Qiankun’s gaze was like that of a hunter looking at a prey about to be caught. She suppressed her rapidly beating heart out of fear, bit her lip, and walked toward the department.

“Thank you.” Qin Xuan placed a can of coffee in front of her, and Lu Qingshi licked her chapped lips to express her gratitude.

“You’ve been on call for two nights in a row. Don’t you want to say something to Director Xu and take a half-day off? Just look at those dark circles under your eyes,” Qin Xuan chatted while standing in front of her desk, holding a can of coffee to refresh herself.

After all, they weren’t young anymore; staying up late showed on their faces. Lu Qingshi shook her head: “No, I have a surgery this afternoon. I’ll rest tomorrow.”

Qin Xuan leaned over and nudged her arm: “Hey, let’s go out for drinks tonight. Why didn’t you contact that handsome guy I introduced you to last time?”

As soon as Yu Gui stepped into the office, she overheard them discussing where to go for fun the next day, and she felt a twinge of discomfort in her heart. Perhaps the death of a person was nothing more than a trivial matter to them.

A colleague took the takeout from her hands without saying thank you or paying, and they returned to their spots in twos and threes to eat.

It was the same guy who had been eating instant noodles while watching videos. He opened the takeout box, glanced inside, and slammed his chopsticks on the table: “New girl, what’s going on? How am I supposed to eat like this?”

The lid of the container was open, and some soup spilled into the plastic bag.

Yu Gui stammered, “I… I don’t know… It was like this when I just picked it up…”

“You’re talking nonsense! I order from this place every day, and it’s never like this! Are you doing this on purpose because you don’t like me?” He stood up, raising his voice and becoming aggressive.

Yu Gui’s eyes turned red: “I… Why would I mess with you… This makes no sense…”

“Who knows what’s wrong with you! Last time I asked you to write a medical record, you were evasive, which got me scolded by the director! I think you’re just…” He took a couple of steps forward, pointing his finger at her in anger.

“I really don’t know why Director Xu hired you. You can’t help with anything and just cause trouble all day. We worked so hard to get into Renji Medical University, and why should you women…”

Yu Gui gritted her teeth and looked up at him. Her eyes were very beautiful, with large pupils and little white showing, but they were bloodshot and, with one fierce glance, they were a bit scary.

The male colleague took a step back, trying to maintain his bravado: “What are you looking at? It’s true! People saw you and Director Xu whispering in the corridor at noon. Who knows what you were talking about, and who knows how you got into the emergency department?”

He tugged at his tie, speaking in a sarcastic tone.

The body reacted much faster than the brain could think. Without saying a word, Yu Gui picked up a steaming hot pot of spicy soup and dumped it over his head.

The male colleague screamed, covering his face as the bright red sauce splattered all over his pristine white shirt.

Around them, a chorus of screams erupted as Yu Gui smashed the plastic container over his head: “I’ve wanted to do this for a long time! You bunch of useless trash who love to gossip!!!”

“The new girl has gone crazy!” Someone rushed over to help him while angrily cursing.

“I must be crazy to apply to Renji Medical University!!!” Yu Gui gasped for breath, almost hysterical, pointing at each of them, including Lu Qingshi and Qin Xuan who stood nearby.

“I know you all look down on me, look down on me for coming from the countryside, but I also passed the entrance exam to Jinzhou Medical University with flying colors and I’m here in the residency training program at Renji Medical University!”

She shouted, breathing heavily, and suddenly flung the plastic container away, which landed right at Lu Qingshi’s feet.

“Also, my name is not ‘the new girl,’ it’s—Yu Gui!!! The ‘Yu’ from ‘to be’ and ‘Gui’ from ‘return’!”

“F*ck your mother…” The male colleague, soaked in sauce, was the first to regain his composure. Gritting his teeth through the pain, he shook off those trying to help him and threw a punch at Yu Gui’s face.

However, before his fist could reach her face, Yu Gui collapsed to the ground like a kite with a broken string.

“Stretcher, hurry, bring the stretcher over!” The last thing she saw, through her fading consciousness, was Lu Qingshi’s slightly anxious brows.

In her muddled thoughts, she reflected, “It’s over, Teacher Lu’s going to take care of critical patients. I’m going to meet Marx now.”⁵

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LP: Ahhh!!! What is wrong with these people?! This chapter made my blood boil!!

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1. Endometrium: The inner lining of the uterus.
2. Hypoxic environment: Refers to a condition where there is insufficient oxygen.
3. Sodium bicarbonate: A chemical compound often used in medical settings for various purposes, including as an antacid (neutralizing stomach acid) or to manage metabolic acidosis (a condition where there is too much acid in the body fluids).
4. Sodium cefoperazone: An antibiotic used to treat various bacterial infections.
5. Meeting Marx: A colloquial phrase in Chinese that means “to die” or “to meet the end,” referring to Karl Marx as a euphemism for death in this context.