I Am More Paranoid Than the Villain – Chapter 9

The Gentle Older Sister

A Lifetime of Regret

Shen Man quickly adapted to her new school life.

Because she was the class monitor, she now knew all of her classmates and could call each of them by name.

The last class of the day ended.

Shen Man lowered her head to organize her class notes.

Lin Shu walked over, knocked on Shen Man’s desk, and said, “I’m not coming back for dinner tonight.”

“Are you treating them to dinner again?” Shen Man asked, looking up with a smile.

Lately, Lin Shu often skipped dinner at home, hanging out with her so-called “fox friends and dog companions¹.”

“None of your business,” Lin Shu said haughtily, placing her schoolbag on Shen Man’s desk. “Take this back for me.”

“Alright,” Shen Man replied, lowering her head to continue organizing her notes.

“Bookworm²,” Lin Shu muttered under her breath before turning to walk out.

Shen Man stayed for another ten minutes and finally finished organizing her notes.

Wearing her own schoolbag and carrying Lin Shu’s, she walked back alone at an unhurried pace.

The school scenery was quite lovely.

The landscaping was well done, with neatly trimmed, beautiful bushes everywhere. This was especially true for the osmanthus flowers³ at the end of September, their faint golden-yellow blossoms blooming amidst green leaves, releasing a light, sweet fragrance that made one’s spirit clear and refreshed.

A gust of evening wind blew past, and the osmanthus blossoms fluttered down like golden rain.

Shen Man tucked a windswept strand of hair behind her ear and took out her phone to take a picture.

After taking the photo, she opened an editing app, made a simple color adjustment, and set the image as her wallpaper.

Suddenly, the frightened voice of a girl came from nearby.

“What are you trying to do? Let me go!” The voice came from the bushes behind the osmanthus trees.

“You shameless thing, seducing my boyfriend! I’m going to teach you a lesson today.”

“I don’t know you! I don’t know who your boyfriend is!” the girl pleaded, crying softly, her voice gentle and weak.

“He has your picture on his phone, and you still say you don’t know him?” The other girl grew even more furious.

A PA sound of a slap came through the air.

A second later, it was followed by the girl’s pitiful, soft sobs.

Shen Man’s eyes narrowed. She faced the bushes and said in a cold voice, “Bullying a fellow student on school grounds? I’m going to tell your homeroom teacher.”

At these words, the girl was instantly frightened. She threatened the crying girl in a low voice, “If you dare to report this, I will never let you off.” With that, she ran away in a panic.

Shen Man walked over and saw a long-haired girl crouching in the bushes.

The girl was covering one cheek with her hand, her long hair obscuring her face so her features were unclear.

Her white dress was stained with dirt and bits of leaves, and the white shoes on her feet were similarly soiled with mud.

Hearing the footsteps, the girl looked up, teardrops streaming down her cheeks.

Her eyes were sorrowful and helpless. When she saw Shen Man, a desolate smile appeared on her face.

Shen Man’s heart jolted, and she froze on the spot.

The tragically beautiful face before her, which held a smile amidst tears, overlapped with a hazy figure from her memory.

When she was a child, a gentle older sister lived next door. She spoke gently, and her smile was gentle as well.

She would often pat Shen Man’s head and say, “Manman, you’ll surely grow up to be a great beauty. You must marry a man you truly love, not like me.”

At the time, she was too young to understand the meaning of those words, nor did she comprehend the despair and sorrow in the older sister’s eyes as she spoke.

On a quiet, windless night, the older sister died by jumping from a building.

Shen Man was the last person she saw. That look—filled with tears, grief, and despair—was deeply etched into her memory.

Many years later, after she realized she was attracted to women, she finally understood the meaning behind that look. On many nights, she was filled with remorse and regret. If only I had understood more at the time, if I had tried to comfort the older sister, perhaps that person would not have departed in such despair.

“Thank you, classmate,” the girl said, standing up. Her delicate frame looked fragile and pitiful.

Her figure, too, was just like that person’s.

Shen Man snapped back to her senses, walked over, and asked, “Are you alright? Do you want me to take you to the infirmary⁴?”

“No, that’s alright. Thank you,” the girl replied, shaking her head gently. Her voice was soft as she lowered her head and stroked her cheek.

Shen Man’s gaze fell upon the girl’s face, and she felt an ever-stronger sense of their resemblance. She paused, then said, “I’m Shen Man, a first-year student in Class One of the Design Department.”

“It’s a pleasure to meet you.” This last sentence was tinged with the joy of a regret that might finally be mended.

Hearing this, the girl looked up, a gentle smile on her face. “My name is Yin Ruxu⁵. I’m a student in the Fine Arts Department. Like you, I’m also a new student this year.”

“Let me buy you a milk tea,” she offered. “And I hope you won’t mention the embarrassing incident from just now.” As she spoke, Yin Ruxu bit her lip, using her hair to hide the reddened side of her face.

Shen Man averted her gaze and said with a smile, “Alright.”

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Near the school, there was a well-known milk tea shop called ‘Heart’s Whisper,’ and many students loved to order from this shop.

Shen Man and Yin Ruxu entered.

The shop was already filled with people sitting in twos and threes, chatting. There was only one empty table in a corner against the wall.

Shen Man walked over and sat down. Holding the menu, she asked, “What would you like to drink?”

“I’m treating you, so I should be the one asking,” Yin Ruxu said with a light laugh, her eyes curving into crescents.

Shen Man smiled and said, “A fruit tea.”

“Hot, room temperature, or with light ice?” Yin Ruxu asked considerately.

“Light ice, please,” Shen Man said.

Yin Ruxu stood up and went to the counter to order and pay.

As she sat there, Shen Man gazed at Yin Ruxu’s slender back, the image of the older sister from next door replaying in her mind.

That blurry face gradually became clear, becoming identical to Yin Ruxu’s as she turned around.

Startled, Shen Man looked down and rubbed the bridge of her nose.

“What’s wrong? You look very tired,” Yin Ruxu said with concern, placing the fruit tea in front of Shen Man.

“It’s nothing. I probably just didn’t sleep well last night,” Shen Man said. She picked up the tea, inserted the straw, and took a small sip.

The sweet, fruity taste stimulated her taste buds and nerves, pulling her back to reality from her self-induced fantasy.

“I’ve heard your name before,” Yin Ruxu said with a gentle smile. Seeing Shen Man’s questioning look, she continued, “You’re our school’s most beautiful campus school flower. It’s my good fortune to meet you today. You really are so pretty.”

“Thank you for the compliment. I think you’re even prettier,” Shen Man replied with a sincere look in her eyes.

Yin Ruxu’s cheeks flushed shyly, and she lowered her head to drink her tea.

Shen Man gazed at the scenery outside the window, and her eyes inadvertently met a familiar face.

Lin Shu was standing outside, her carefully made-up face filled with anger.

Shen Man withdrew her gaze and looked elsewhere.

Fuming, Lin Shu strode into the milk tea shop and stopped in front of Shen Man. Her voice was cold. “What are you doing here? Who is she?”

“Are you Shen Man’s good friend?” Yin Ruxu asked, standing up and introducing herself with a smile. “My name is Yin Ruxu. I just met Shen Man.”

Lin Shu ignored her, frowning as she glared at Shen Man. “You just met and you’re already having milk tea together? Didn’t you say you were going home?”

Hearing the undisguised anger and accusation in her tone, Shen Man’s lips curved into a smile. “My great young miss, instead of having fun with your friends, what are you doing coming over here to bother with me?”

“I…” Lin Shu said one word and then choked, her face flushing red. She retorted haughtily, “Who’s bothering with you? I was just about to treat them to milk tea.”

With that, she turned to the two girls following behind her and said, “Ding Xian, Yan Jie⁶, what do you want to drink? Order whatever you want. It’s my treat.”

“I’m still full from dinner, I’m fine,” Ding Xian said, waving her hands hastily, not daring to meet Shen Man’s eyes.

Yan Jie took the menu from the table and unapologetically ordered the most expensive drink.

Lin Shu snorted, glanced at the milk tea in Shen Man’s hand, and said disdainfully, “Only you would drink the cheapest tea like this.”

Shen Man smiled and calmly retorted, “When someone else is paying, of course you should order something inexpensive. You can’t just treat people like fools to be fleeced⁷ just because it’s not your own money.”

This remark was a double entendre.

Lin Shu’s face turned red with anger, and she stared at Shen Man, speechless.

The smile on Yan Jie’s face vanished. She shot Shen Man a glare and hurriedly explained to Lin Shu, “I only ordered this because I heard other people say it was good.”

“I’m not an idiot,” Lin Shu snapped, even angrier.

Shen Man’s lips curved into a pleased smile. She stood up, tossed the schoolbag into Lin Shu’s arms, and said with a grin, “Here’s your bag back.”

Then she turned her head to Yin Ruxu and said, “Thanks for the milk tea. I’ll treat you next time.”

“No need. I’m very happy to have met you as a friend,” Yin Ruxu said with a light laugh.

Shen Man nodded, slung her own bag over her shoulder, and walked out with her milk tea, a smile on her face.

Lin Shu sat down in Shen Man’s seat. Her almond eyes⁸ stared at the person across from her as she asked with a haughty expression, “How did you meet Shen Man?”

Yin Ruxu’s smile faltered. She lowered her head, touched her still-aching cheek, and replied in a weak tone, “I’m sorry, I can’t tell you.”

“Can’t tell me?” Lin Shu’s eyes widened, and she bit her lip in frustration. “I’ll go ask Shen Man myself.”

“It’s a secret between Shen Man and me,” Yin Ruxu said, looking up, her eyes glistening with tears. “She promised me she wouldn’t tell anyone.”

Lin Shu’s eyes narrowed. She slung the schoolbag over her shoulder and walked out with a cold expression on her face.

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