I Am More Paranoid Than the Villain – Chapter 74

Past Matters of the Heart

It’s not your fault

The young woman lowered her eyes, her long eyelashes fluttering prettily like little fans.

Her usually proud and lively little face was filled with a faint sadness.

Shen Man waited quietly.

“My dad doesn’t like my mom. My mom used their family’s arranged marriage and the child in her belly to threaten him. In my memory, my dad rarely came home, and when he did, it was just endless arguments.” Lin Shu’s voice was low as she recounted the past, and closing her eyes, she seemed to return to the childhood that terrified her.

She couldn’t help but flinch, her delicate body trembling imperceptibly.

A slender, elegant hand suddenly appeared on her head, gently stroking her hair.

A comforting warmth passed from the palm, through her hair, and reached every cell in her body.

Lin Shu’s eyes froze for a moment, her eyelashes trembling rapidly.

She blinked, her body relaxing as she continued to speak in a calm tone, “They were always fighting, smashing everything in the house that could be smashed. I would hide in my room, and the sound of things breaking would constantly ring in my ears. The ‘bang,’ again and again, as if it would never stop. I couldn’t escape it, no matter what.”

“Sometimes I think, it would have been better if I was never born. Maybe then Mom and Dad wouldn’t have fought.”

“Shushu, it’s not your fault.” Shen Man gently ruffled the young woman’s soft hair and comforted her softly, “The grievances and conflicts between parents should not be borne by their children. You are innocent.”

Hearing this, Lin Shu’s eyes couldn’t help but well up with tears.

She bit her lip and forced a smile, “My mom resents me for not being a boy, and my dad resents me for ever coming into this world. They said my birth was a mistake that delayed their futures and happiness.”

“Shushu, don’t say any more…” Shen Man reached out and covered the young woman’s rosy lips. “It’s not your fault. You did nothing wrong.”

Lin Shu closed her eyes, biting her lip to swallow the sound of her crying.

A teardrop slid from the corner of her eye and landed on Shen Man’s hand with a ‘plop.’

Shen Man’s heart felt as if it were being squeezed. A stuffiness filled her chest, and an undeniable feeling of sourness flooded her entire heart.

She let out a soft breath, a look of heartache appearing in her eyes.

Lin Shu gripped that warm, slender hand, burying her small face in the palm and letting her tears fall freely.

Shen Man’s palm was soaked by the scalding tears.

In that instant, she wanted to pull the young woman into her embrace.

“Shen Man, you are not to tell anyone what I’ve told you.” Lin Shu looked up, the corners of her eyes red.

Her round eyes were fierce, showing none of the fragility from her tears just moments ago.

Shen Man reined in the pity in her heart.

Pulling her hand back, she said with a smile, “I didn’t hear a thing.”

Lin Shu looked at those smiling eyes and gave a haughty snort.

She wiped her tears and propped her book upright, hiding her face behind it.

Shen Man tilted her head.

Looking at Lin Shu’s cute, dazed expression, she let out a light laugh.

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The day Tan Kai and Ding Xi were to choose their wedding dress was set for Saturday.

Lin Shu dressed up beautifully early in the morning.

Just as she finished, her phone rang. It was a call from Ding Xi.

“Lin Shu-jie, Tan Kai and I are already downstairs,” Ding Xi said softly.

“Okay, I’ll be right down,” Lin Shu said.

As soon as she finished speaking, she saw Shen Man coming out of her room and asked on impulse, “Shen Man, are you going?”

“I’ve arranged to go to the library with Xiao Ke today,” Shen Man declined with a smile.

Lin Shu pouted, slung her bag over her shoulder, and went out.

Shen Man walked to the living room and sat down.

She ate her breakfast slowly by herself.

Auntie He came over and asked quizzically, “Where is Miss Lin? Is she not eating breakfast?”

“Shushu went out,” Shen Man said.

Auntie He said, “Oh,” and didn’t ask any more questions.

After finishing breakfast, Shen Man picked up her schoolbag and left.

She drove to the university. Just as she parked the car, she saw Xia Ke and Yin Ruxu walking over, hand in hand.

Seeing the two of them talking and laughing so intimately, Shen Man felt a bit helpless.

She could already predict that she was about to receive a huge pile of dog food¹.

“Manman, how come you’re alone? Where’s Lin Shu?” Xia Ke walked over, tapped on the car window, and asked curiously.

“Shushu had something to do,” Shen Man replied with a smile, opening the car door to get out.

“You two are usually like body and shadow, never separating². You actually split up?” Xia Ke raised an eyebrow and said with a grin.

Shen Man gave a light laugh but didn’t answer, slinging her bag over her shoulder and walking forward.

The three of them arrived at the library.

Shen Man borrowed two books, sat down, and began to read and take notes earnestly.

Xia Ke and Yin Ruxu sat together, leaning against each other and sharing a book.

If Shen Man raised her line of sight even slightly, she could see their intimate closeness.

She did her best to keep her head down and not look at the pair across from her.

“Manman, next weekend Ah Xu and I are going to a birthday party for a good friend of mine,” Xia Ke said in a low voice, her eyes shining brightly. “She’s a huge star. Can you guess her name?”

Shen Man didn’t follow celebrities³ and usually didn’t read any celebrity gossip⁴.

She shook her head, not a hint of curiosity on her face.

Xia Ke’s enthusiasm didn’t wane. She said happily, “Her name is Sang Yidan⁵. She entered the entertainment industry⁶ at sixteen and is already a Film Empress at twenty-three.”

“Ah Xu really admires her; she’s her loyal fan.”

Hearing this, Shen Man looked at Yin Ruxu, her gaze carrying a hint of scrutiny. “Do you have thoughts of becoming a star?”

Yin Ruxu subconsciously avoided her gaze.

Before she could speak, Xia Ke said excitedly, “I think it’s a great idea! Ah Xu is an art student to begin with, and she’s so beautiful. If she pursued a career in acting, she would definitely become a big red and a big purple⁷.”

“Xiao Ke, don’t talk nonsense.” Yin Ruxu lowered her head shyly from the praise, linking her arms with Xia Ke’s and smiling bashfully.

Seeing this gesture, Shen Man roughly understood Yin Ruxu’s thoughts.

She wasn’t surprised by it, nor did she care.

“Manman, you should come with us! And bring Lin Shu along,” Xia Ke invited happily.

“Thanks, but Shushu and I…” Before Shen Man could finish, her phone vibrated. “I need to take this call.”

She stood up with her phone and walked out quickly.

Stopping in a quiet place, she leaned against the railing and spoke into the phone with a relaxed smile, “Shushu, what’s up?”

“Ding Xi has already picked her wedding dress. I have to accompany them for their wedding photoshoot, so you’ll have to come pick me up later.” Lin Shu pouted, her tone natural.

Towards the end of her sentence, her voice unconsciously took on a coquettish tone.

Shen Man could tell that Lin Shu was also being stimulated by the couple over there.

Just like her own situation.

“Okay,” she said, her mood cheerful.

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