Her lips finally landed on the coveted red lips she longed for
Even though it was already warm spring, the night wind in the wilderness still seemed particularly chilling, making Lin Xian’s nose feel sour and causing her whole body to shiver uncontrollably from the cold.
Her hands were still wrapped around Xiao Wanqing’s body, but their upper bodies were gradually drifting apart. She furrowed her brows, bit her lip, and stared intensely at the thin and frail back of the woman.
Between heaven and earth, besides the howling wind, it seemed that only the two of them, holding each other closely, remained.
After a while, Lin Xian’s voice cut through the cold wind, low and heavy, as she asked Xiao Wanqing, “Auntie Xiao, if it were just me, just Lin Xian, would you still be so good to me?” As she spoke, she slowly, slowly leaned her body forward and pressed against Xiao Wanqing’s back.
Xiao Wanqing’s chalk drawing paused for a moment, and a sense of sadness and grief gradually shrouded her watery eyes, deeper than the night itself.
If she were just Lin Xian…
The chalk, broken by Xiao Wanqing’s unconscious force, fell to the ground, emitting a barely audible sound. Xiao Wanqing stared blankly at the pitiful half piece of chalk, lowered her head, and continued her line drawing as if nothing had happened. With a faint smile, she casually replied to Lin Xian, “What silly talk. If you weren’t Lin Xian, how could we have met?”
Uncharacteristically, Lin Xian refused to be considerate and persistent in her pursuit, pressing on with her questioning, “Auntie Xiao, this is just a hypothetical question of possibility or impossibility.”
Xiao Wanqing earnestly moved the ruler, drawing the lines of the garage, resisting as she said, “Xianxian, I’ve never liked engaging in ‘what if’ hypotheticals.” Her voice was unusually calm and cold, like a winter’s icy grip, piercing straight into Lin Xian’s heart.
Auntie Xiao, do you really know whether you like her or not?
Was she unwilling to answer unintentionally, or was she deliberately avoiding it?
Was she afraid of giving herself false hope?
Lin Xian felt that even though she held Xiao Wanqing so closely, it was as if she was embracing a gust of wind. Her heart remained empty and desolate.
Xiao Wanqing seemed like a breeze she couldn’t hold onto, always on the verge of drifting away.
After days of suppressed confusion, frustration, and heartache, a sudden wave crashed down on Lin Xian, and her tears uncontrollably overflowed from her eyes, wetting Xiao Wanqing’s thin shirt.
The dampness against her back felt like a scorching, stinging heat, instantly searing into Xiao Wanqing’s heart. Startled and pained, she froze in place.
She gently freed herself from Lin Xian’s embrace, turned around, and in her eyes were complex, obscure emotions of confusion, heartbreak, and suppressed longing. She helplessly gazed at the girl’s tearful, sorrowful face.
The tears surged uncontrollably. At this moment, Lin Xian had no way to control them. She didn’t want Xiao Wanqing to see, she didn’t dare to let Xiao Wanqing notice, but unfortunately, it turned out differently. She hastily stood up, anxiously wiping away the tears still flowing, and in a disheveled state, she cried and laughed awkwardly as she clumsily explained, “I don’t know why, but I feel so sad when I think that if I weren’t Lin Xian, I wouldn’t have had the chance to meet you, Auntie Xiao.” With a smile more heart-wrenching than tears, she continued with forced words, “Auntie Xiao, please don’t look at me, it’s so embarrassing. Sometimes, I actually have a pretty low threshold for tears. In the past, I didn’t dare to watch ‘Touching China’ with others just to appear cool.”
Xiao Wanqing looked at this face that she held dear, the face she had secretly promised to herself, after accepting that she liked her. In her heart, there seemed to be a blunt knife, hammering back and forth, causing blood to flow.
The seed of doubt had finally begun to take root and sprout. She could no longer and was not allowed to deceive herself or turn a blind eye to the truth.
The person she likes might also like her.
When two hearts are in harmony, when both sides are willing, it should be such a beautiful and happy thing.
However, she dares not be happy, dares not be joyful, dares not respond at all.
Lin Xian is still young. She should have the obligation to protect her, to guide her. But did she unintentionally harm her, mislead her, or even influence her in a negative way?
It’s like how an adult uncle should maintain an appropriate distance when interacting with his niece. As an adult woman with a female sexual orientation, interacting with the still-developing Lin Xian, she lacked self-awareness and failed to grasp the boundaries.
This is her fault.
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She should feel ashamed, blame herself, and feel guilty.
How dare she feel even a trace of shameless joy?
How tragic it is.
She wants Lin Xian to walk smoothly on the path she should have walked, as if she had never known her, to embrace the vast and bright life she should have had. She is willing to face all obstacles and clear away all barriers for her.
But could it be that she was actually the biggest stumbling block?
Pain flickered in her eyes, and she finally stood up with Lin Xian. She clenched her fist tightly, then slowly opened it, extending her hand. With a soft and profound smile, she gently touched the girl’s wet cheek, softly wiping away her tears.
As usual, she seemed oblivious to Lin Xian’s abnormality, believing her clumsy explanation as if it were true, and affectionately teasing her, “Silly girl, it’s just a hypothetical scenario.”
After drying Lin Xian’s tears, she looked at her still slightly damp eyes, and her heart trembled gently. She playfully joked with Lin Xian in a gentle voice, “We’ve already met, haven’t we? Are all wordy people so sentimental? Little writer?”
Lin Xian nervously stared at Xiao Wanqing, observing her usual gentle expression, observing this woman she couldn’t see through, as if she had survived a disaster.
Auntie Xiao, do you believe it? Auntie Xiao, did you really not notice my abnormality, my feelings?
But Xiao Wanqing seemed completely unaware of her inner turmoil. She feared that Lin Xian would feel embarrassed, deliberately avoiding the topic of her sudden tears, diverting Lin Xian’s attention and calling out to her, “Xianxian, since you’re here, can you hold the measuring tape for me? I want to see if I can draw a straight line by comparing it directly with the tape.” Her voice was warm, her tone calm, just like before.
Lin Xian obediently walked to the other side, squatting down, pressing the measuring tape with one hand, but her gaze remained fixed on Xiao Wanqing, who was diligently working not far away.
Suddenly, she recalled the time after their first meeting when Xiao Wanqing had taken her to school, and that moment on the way back, sitting in Xiao Wanqing’s car, watching her smile and chat with someone on the phone with a cool and distant look in her eyes, making a wish.
But now, Xiao Wanqing was still that calm sea, yet silently stirring up her own immense waves.
I have yet to become someone who can perceive the hidden surges.
For over an hour afterwards, Lin Xian painstakingly followed the garage lines that Xiao Wanqing had helped her draw, with Xiao Wanqing’s assistance and guidance. She found the most comfortable seat distance for stepping on the clutch and gradually mastered the points for making right-angle turns and fine-tuning the width. The results were quite satisfying.
Coincidentally, just as they were about to head home, the dark night sky rumbled with distant thunder, followed by the patter of raindrops falling steadily.
Lin Xian switched to the passenger seat, reluctantly gazing through the rearview mirror at the garage lines gradually fading away under the rain’s wash. In her heart, there was an inexplicable sense of heaviness and sorrow. It was as if she were helplessly witnessing something important in her heart cruelly disappear, unable to be salvaged.
Powerless and defeated.
Upon returning home, after taking a shower and coming out of the bathroom, Lin Xian took the undergarments and other clothes she needed to wash, which she had casually rinsed in the bathroom, and brought them to the balcony.
Xiao Wanqing was wearing a robe, her slightly damp hair cascading down as she lazily reclined on the balcony lounge chair, enjoying the sound of the wind and rain.
When she saw Lin Xian come out, she turned her head and greeted her with a gentle and serene smile, softer and more tender than the spring rain outside.
Lin Xian finished hanging the undergarments to dry and put her jacket in the laundry basket for dirty clothes. She was about to sit down with Xiao Wanqing to listen to the rain and chat when Xiao Wanqing suddenly spoke up and asked, “Xianxian, do you still remember the horror movie you wanted to watch before?”
Without hesitation, Lin Xian nodded. She remembered, but she also recalled that Xiao Wanqing truly didn’t like that genre of movies, so she never again tried to persuade Xiao Wanqing to watch them together.
Xiao Wanqing’s eyes flickered as she glanced at the misty rain outside the window. She suggested with a hint of excitement, “Today, as you said, there’s wind, rain, lightning, and thunder—the perfect atmosphere for watching horror movies. Shall we watch together?”
Lin Xian exclaimed, “A horror movie?” She looked at Xiao Wanqing in disbelief, her voice involuntarily filled with cheerful amusement. She teased, “Aunt Xiao, do you dare to watch? Do you really want to watch? Won’t you be scared?” As the conversation progressed, her laughter grew mischievous, and her tone took on the playfully mocking style used among friends.
Xiao Wanqing furrowed her brows and bit her lip, rare shyness and coyness showing as she scolded Lin Xian, “Forget it if you don’t want to watch.”
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Lin Xian immediately jumped up, exclaiming in unison, “Let’s watch, let’s watch! I’ll go pick a movie. Aunt Xiao, don’t flee at the last moment, okay?” She dashed into the living room, leaving Xiao Wanqing alone on the balcony, silently watching her earnest figure. Her eyes gradually filled with melancholy and reluctance.
Lin Xian chose a disc with the scariest and most thrilling cover, then loudly asked Xiao Wanqing, “Aunt Xiao, should we watch it in the living room?”
Xiao Wanqing stood up from the lounge chair, crossed over the balcony’s French window, and stood by the window frame. She gently flipped her disheveled hair and curved her lips, softly saying, “We can also watch it in my bedroom. Where do you prefer to watch?”
Lin Xian’s eyes instantly lit up, and the curve of her mouth couldn’t be hidden. She cautiously probed, “Then, is it okay to watch in your bedroom, Aunt Xiao? It seems more comfortable to half-lie on the bed.”
Xiao Wanqing arched her eyebrows, leaned forward, picked up the disc that Lin Xian had chosen from the coffee table, and took the lead towards the bedroom. She responded warmly, “Why not? Let’s go to my room.”
Lin Xian keenly noticed that Xiao Wanqing held the corner of the disc with only two fingers, not even glancing at the cover, as if she was extremely afraid.
This fearful yet stubborn appearance was too adorable! Lin Xian was delighted and captivated by Xiao Wanqing’s cute demeanor, temporarily forgetting her recent sadness and sorrow, filled with joy and affection.
The two of them snuggled under the same blanket, leaning against the backboard of the bed, finally starting the long-awaited horror movie activity.
From the moment the screen appeared, Xiao Wanqing’s attention was completely focused on it, while Lin Xian’s attention was completely focused on Xiao Wanqing. She saw that Xiao Wanqing stared fixedly at the screen, her beautiful eyebrows never relaxing. She bit her lip and unconsciously gripped the blanket with her fingers, clearly torn between fear and the desire to watch, looking pitiful and cute.
As Lin Xian had anticipated, when the first gory scene was about to appear, she instinctively turned to look at Xiao Wanqing. Sure enough, the moment the scene appeared, Xiao Wanqing trembled all over, hastily raising her hands in panic and covering her eyes. After a few seconds, she timidly moved her hands away a bit, only to quickly cover them again. Though clearly terrified, she didn’t make any frightened sounds.
She was even more pitiful and adorable than Lin Xian had imagined, a thousand times and ten thousand times over!
Lin Xian gazed at Xiao Wanqing without blinking, her eyes and corners of her mouth filled with tenderness. Her heart melted completely. It felt as if Xiao Wanqing was gently poking her cotton candy-like heart, playing the piano on it, poking down and slowly bouncing back up.
Unable to resist her emotions, Lin Xian moved closer to Xiao Wanqing and requested, “Aunt Xiao, could you scoot forward a bit?”
Xiao Wanqing put down her hands covering her eyes and glanced at Lin Xian with confusion. Her fair face turned crimson with embarrassment at showing fear in front of her junior. Subconsciously following Lin Xian’s words, she obediently moved forward a bit, creating space behind her.
Lin Xian pulled her long legs out from under the covers and quickly moved behind Xiao Wanqing, spreading her legs and enveloping Xiao Wanqing’s entire body between them. Their legs pressed against each other, disappearing into the thin blanket.
Like an electric current, it crawled through their intertwined legs, spreading sensation through Xiao Wanqing’s entire body. She shivered involuntarily, realizing that even her pores were standing on end.
However, Lin Xian remained oblivious. She gently pulled on Xiao Wanqing’s shoulders, allowing her back to rest against her chest. Then, she softly placed her warm hands over Xiao Wanqing’s eyes and considerately said, “When there’s another scary scene, I’ll cover your eyes. Once it’s gone, I’ll uncover them, okay? Don’t be afraid.”
The girl’s soft and gentle voice, like a seductive feather, wormed its way into the ears, into Xiao Wanqing’s heart. Each word tickled her, causing her body to tingle and her heart to beat like a drum.
Amidst the uncontrollable throbbing and the gradually deepening sadness, Xiao Wanqing hoarsely agreed to Lin Xian, “Okay.”
She didn’t know how much time had passed when Lin Xian lowered her head, intending to discuss the plot with Xiao Wanqing, only to realize that the person in her embrace had already nestled against her chest and fallen into a deep sleep.
Her long and dense eyelashes curled up like little fans, gently fluttering almost imperceptibly with each breath. Her sleeping visage was so pure and delicate, like a fairy who had accidentally descended to the mortal realm.
Lin Xian unconsciously tightened her arms around Xiao Wanqing, feeling the fullness in her embrace, a sense of happiness as if she had wrapped the whole world around her.
After a while, she turned off the TV and carefully withdrew from behind Xiao Wanqing, gently and slowly laying her down in a comfortable position, tucking her in.
Then, she turned off the lights.
A gentle smile played at the corners of her mouth as she propped herself up on the pillow, gazing for a long time at the serene and peaceful sleeping face of her beloved. Her gaze slowly swept across her picturesque eyebrows, her straight and graceful nose, and finally settled on her slightly parted, moist and rosy lips…
Lin Xian’s throat bobbed, and her thin lips gradually pursed.
Outside the window, there was no moonlight. Inside the bedroom, it was dim and hazy.
The girl’s straight back silhouette timidly and slowly bent down, inching closer to the unsuspecting Sleeping Beauty.
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Her lips finally landed on the very lips that made her heart ache and throb with longing.
In the gentle night, Lin Xian subconsciously extend the tip of her tongue and gently lick Xiao Wanqing’s lips. In that fleeting moment of soft contact, a satisfied sigh threatened to bring tears to the corners of her eyes.
She gazed at Lin Xian with watery eyes, gently brushing her fingers against the side of her forehead, whispering tenderly, “Goodnight, my little girl.”
Unbeknownst to Lin Xian, as she lay down, a single glistening tear slid quickly down Xiao Wanqing’s closed eyes, disappearing into her hair…
She couldn’t hear the answer that Xiao Wanqing gave her in her heart.
If she were just Lin Xian, if they had met a little later…
She would love her.
But life doesn’t work with “ifs.”
The last glimmer of hope that Xiao Wanqing held in Lin Xian’s heart finally, and devastatingly, shattered.
LP: The slow burn is killing me 🫠
