Because I am your aunt
After Lin Xian answered the phone, she had no intention of taking a shower. Despite her rational mind repeatedly advising her to calm down, her emotions couldn’t be suppressed, and they surged towards Xiao Wanqing.
She turned on the shower, washing her hair at a speed she had never experienced before. She didn’t even have time to apply conditioner and hurriedly finished washing her hair. Then, without even squeezing out shower gel, she quickly rinsed off.
She hastily put on a nightgown and wrapped herself in a bathrobe, then opened the bathroom door and eagerly ran towards Xiao Wanqing’s bedroom.
She didn’t know what she wanted to do, nor did she plan what to say when she saw Xiao Wanqing. In her mind, there was only one urgent desire—to see Aunt Xiao, to see with her own eyes the affectionate gaze that Shi Man had promised.
Her heart was filled with infinite longing and eagerness. She hoped that what Shi Man had told her was true and wanted to believe that Shi Man had revealed the truth.
But she cherished it too much. If she didn’t see it with her own eyes or feel it personally, she didn’t dare to easily believe it or act recklessly.
She thought that as long as Aunt Xiao gave her a confirming look, she would have boundless courage.
With anxious steps, she eagerly walked to Xiao Wanqing’s door, full of excitement. For the first time, she rudely entered the wide-open bedroom of Xiao Wanqing without bothering to disguise her affection. Without knocking on the door, she stepped inside.
Inside the bedroom, Xiao Wanqing was holding a hairdryer while tilting her head, lost in her thoughts, motionless, blowing her hair. Amidst the roaring sound of the hairdryer, she heard footsteps outside the door, frowned, turned off the hairdryer, and turned to look at the door.
Lin Xian, in disarray, wrapped in a bathrobe, with wet hair, stood not far away, gazing intensely at her own reflection, instantly catching Xiao Wanqing’s eyes.
The girl’s beautiful lips curved upward, and in her radiant eyes, like sparkling stars, there were flickering lights, a complex mixture of emotions that Xiao Wanqing couldn’t clearly discern yet was afraid to see clearly.
Xiao Wanqing’s heart skipped a beat, and her hand holding the hairdryer suddenly tightened. Her eyebrows unconsciously furrowed tighter, and as she looked into Lin Xian’s eyes, a sense of inquiry and scrutiny gradually appeared. Her gaze, still gentle like water, but devoid of warmth.
As cold as water.
Lin Xian’s heart, filled with fervor and anticipation, cooled down completely as she saw the unusual calm and severity in Xiao Wanqing’s eyes.
She subtly glanced down at her disheveled and bewildered appearance, then once again collided with Xiao Wanqing’s silent and stern gaze.
Their eyes met, and the unfamiliar conflict and depth in Xiao Wanqing’s eyes made Lin Xian’s heart ache.
Was she completely exposed in Aunt Xiao’s eyes now? So, Aunt Xiao’s reaction…
Lin Xian didn’t even have time to deeply ponder this question. Subconsciously, she instinctively concealed her true intention, hiding the passion and tenderness in her eyes, hoping to melt the ice in Xiao Wanqing’s gaze.
She curved the corners of her mouth, adjusting her voice to sound as excited as possible, and said to Xiao Wanqing, “Manman called me eagerly…” She wasn’t a professional actress after all, and couldn’t perform flawlessly. The tone that came out sounded strange, perhaps too excited or too awkward, and Lin Xian herself froze upon hearing it.
She panicked and searched her mind for what she should say to make Xiao Wanqing believe that this news was enough to make her lose control like this.
“Manman said she and Sister Zhijin made it to third base!” Lin Xian’s mind felt a bit empty, and she blurted out this sentence based on intuition before realizing what she had said.
In an instant, her heart turned cold, but her face grew hot.
Ah, she must be crazy, saying nonsense to Aunt Xiao. It was all because Shi Man talked to her every day about those little yellow books, saying things like first base, second base, third base, and home run.
However, unexpectedly, upon hearing Lin Xian’s words, Xiao Wanqing froze for a moment. Her watery eyes stared at her for a long time, as if she found it hard to believe. Slowly, but surely, warmth and a hint of a smile appeared.
Fortunately, it was just her subjective speculation. Fortunately, she had let her emotions run wild and overthought things. Xiao Wanqing felt relieved.
She curved her lips, bringing a gentle warmth, and teased Lin Xian softly, “Xianxian, are you sure you know what you’re saying to me?”
Lin Xian was stunned for a moment, but the next second, she suddenly covered her face, as if realizing what she had done, feeling too shy to face anyone. With her head down, she hurriedly ran out of Xiao Wanqing’s bedroom, making quick footsteps.
Xiao Wanqing watched as Lin Xian disappeared from her sight, and the deep color in her eyes faded away, replaced by a faint smile.
What a child, sharing such a secret thing with a close friend, and getting so excited when someone knows about it. In Xiao Wanqing’s heart, besides the subtle sense of loss that she didn’t dare to examine closely, there was more lightness and tranquility.
She didn’t know that Lin Xian ran out, covering her face, not because she was shy, but because she was upset. Lin Xian ran back to her own room, closed the door, and slid down along the door, hugging her knees and burying her head, silently shedding tears.
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This is the second time she cried for Xiao Wanqing.
The first time was due to grievances.
This time, it was both grievances and despair.
She carefully recalled the bits and pieces of the time she spent with Xiao Wanqing, gradually capturing the unusual details that she had missed before. She remembered the kiss on her forehead, the occasional abnormal blush, and the deliberate separation during nap time, followed by affectionate gestures when she was asleep.
She knew, she believed, that Xiao Wanqing might really have developed some feelings for her.
But just now, she saw the look in Xiao Wanqing’s eyes when she possibly sensed her emotions. She felt the resistance and the icy coldness, and she realized that if she confessed now, Aunt Xiao would never accept her.
In fact, she had already come to this realization long ago.
She had always known that Aunt Xiao couldn’t easily accept her, but she had never understood it as clearly as she did now: Aunt Xiao would never accept her without any resistance.
The feeling conveyed by Xiao Wanqing’s eyes frightened Lin Xian.
It was as if even if they had mutual feelings, as soon as she spoke up, she still wouldn’t be able to have her. Instead, she would lose her even faster.
After falling in love with Xiao Wanqing, she realized that between her and Xiao Wanqing, there was a need to break in order to build. She always thought that she had the confidence and courage to take a leap of faith.
But when it came down to it, at this moment, she was confused and timid.
Stepping back, perhaps they could enjoy temporary freedom.
Moving forward, however, didn’t necessarily guarantee a bright future.
She never knew that she could be such an indecisive person. Suddenly, she understood Wen Tong’s timidity and introversion over the years.
In love, it turned out that no one was braver than anyone else.
Could she take the gamble?
The stakes were the sweet moments she shared with Xiao Wanqing, even though they were not officially a couple.
The gamble was whether Xiao Wanqing’s liking for her outweighed the fear of societal norms.
Liking her wasn’t enough; she had to like her a lot. But what kind of liking would be considered “a lot”?
Now, has the balance tipped in her favor?
Lin Xian felt frustrated and disappointed, as if she still couldn’t win.
When would she be able to win?
She didn’t know.
Because it seemed like she could never afford to lose.
For the next few days, Lin Xian’s spirits were low, feeling somewhat listless.
During dinner on Wednesday, Xiao Wanqing couldn’t help but express concern and ask Lin Xian what was wrong. Lin Xian just forced a smile and made an excuse, saying that she had just started learning to drive and was having trouble with the clutch and gear shifting. She couldn’t hit the right points and was constantly being scolded by the instructor. She was physically tired and in a bad mood, which is why she felt a bit down.
After hearing this, Xiao Wanqing secretly kept it in her heart.
On Friday evening, after dinner, night had completely fallen.
In the kitchen, Xiao Wanqing washed the dishes for the first time, while Lin Xian stood beside her, rinsing them with the second round of water. The two of them were intimately close, working in perfect harmony, as if they had been living this way for countless days.
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Xiao Wanqing washed her hands and untied the apron’s strings. As she lifted her hair and took off the apron, she smiled mysteriously and asked Lin Xian, “Xianxian, are you interested in going somewhere with me?”
In the past few days, Lin Xian had lost her sense of direction because she couldn’t find answers to her feelings. She lacked enthusiasm for everything, except for Xiao Wanqing’s every frown, smile, and movement.
She cheered up, revealing a smile, and took the apron that Xiao Wanqing had just taken off. She playfully hung it on the wall and curiously asked, “Where are we going?”
Xiao Wanqing saw that Lin Xian had regained some spirit, and her eyes softened. The doubts from that day had left a seed in Xiao Wanqing’s heart. Afterwards, she repeatedly admonished herself to accept Lin Xian’s intimate actions but not to initiate overly intimate gestures towards her.
She was afraid that unintentional actions driven by her affection might have unintended consequences or send the wrong message to Lin Xian.
But today, seeing Lin Xian’s lighthearted smile that had finally returned, her own heart also loosened, and she couldn’t help but reach out and ruffle Lin Xian’s head playfully, teasing, “You’ll know once you come with me.”
Seeing Xiao Wanqing’s rare playful expression, Lin Xian’s heart softened even more.
Is liking someone about surrendering oneself to that person?
Handing over the remote control that controls one’s emotions to that person?
Letting them make you happy, make you sad.
Losing self-control willingly and wholeheartedly.
Lin Xian quietly sighed in her heart. She raised an eyebrow, leaned closer to Xiao Wanqing, and held her hand, answering loudly, “Sure, let’s go. If it’s not fun, will there be compensation?”
Xiao Wanqing chuckled and walked with Lin Xian while casually responding, “No. Prepare yourself mentally, it probably won’t be fun.”
Lin Xian immediately acted spoiled and said, “Then I won’t go.”
Xiao Wanqing tightened her grip on her hand, as if afraid she would run away, and rarely acted arrogantly, “No, you already agreed.”
Feeling the sensation of her tightly held hand, Lin Xian felt secretly delighted. If possible, she wanted to be held like this by Aunt Xiao for a lifetime.
She definitely wouldn’t run away.
They went downstairs to the parking garage to retrieve the car. It wasn’t until Lin Xian saw Xiao Wanqing stop in front of a modest-looking white sedan that she realized belatedly, “Aunt Xiao, did you change your car?”
Xiao Wanqing pressed a button to unlock the car while playfully scolding her, “Silly. How can a car get worse with each change?” She opened the car door and explained to Lin Xian, “It’s a rental car from the car rental company.”
Lin Xian, half surprised and half skeptical, got into the car. She was about to ask Xiao Wanqing why she suddenly rented a car and what happened to her old car when she saw Xiao Wanqing start the car and shift gears. Suddenly, a realization dawned on her.
She turned her head and looked at the beautiful side profile Xiao Wanqing presented to her, and her heart swelled and felt damp all at once.
Did she take that casual remark so seriously to heart?
How much does she really like herself? Lin Xian really wanted to reach out and hold the hand that was lightly resting on the gear lever, look into her eyes, and earnestly ask her.
But in the end, she just gradually tightened her own fingers, pursed her lips, and fell silent.
The car continued on until it reached a blacktop road that Xiao Wanqing had never been on before. The road seemed to be built behind a village, with vast fields on either side. In the distance, the dark horizon seemed to merge with the sky.
Strangely, the road was wide, and the row of streetlights was brightly lit, yet there were hardly any vehicles passing by. Occasionally, there were pedestrians strolling leisurely, as if taking a walk.
The car slowly slowed down and finally came to a stop. Lin Xian rolled down the window and looked out, only to discover that the car had actually reached the end of the road and there was no road ahead.
Xiao Wanqing deftly opened the car door and got out of the car, smiling with curved eyebrows at Lin Xian, “Wait for me for a moment.” With that, she closed the car door, went around to the back trunk, and took out a worn tool bag and a wooden measuring stick before walking forward.
Under the deep night sky, the tall streetlights cast a pale and desolate light. A woman holding a measuring tape and chalk, half-kneeling on the ground, was earnestly measuring and marking points. Her figure, strangely blended with the swaying rice stalks in the night breeze, formed a warm and captivating painting that was hard to look away from.
Lin Xian gazed at that slender and graceful figure. Her heart felt soft and sour. She finally couldn’t hold back anymore, opened the car door, and hurriedly walked in the darkness. In an instant, from behind, she tightly embraced Xiao Wanqing’s slender back and gently pressed her face against it.
Xiao Wanqing’s body subtly stiffened. Then, she tenderly said, “Why did you come down? Aren’t you feeling a bit cold? I haven’t finished marking the lines for the garage yet.” Seeing that Lin Xian didn’t speak, she explained, “This road hasn’t been completely repaired for traffic, so there aren’t many people or cars here. You can practice driving here with peace of mind, step on the clutch, align the points, get a feel for it. I’ll help you control the throttle later, don’t worry.”
However, Lin Xian remained unmoved, just burying her face behind Xiao Wanqing and asking her in a low and muffled voice, “Aunt Xiao, why are you so good to me?” It seemed like there were thousands of words, but in the end, they were suppressed into a restrained question.
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Xiao Wanqing’s heart sank slightly, and the serene smile on her face gradually faded.
The warmth behind her and the suppressed voice whispering in her ear made her recall the intense gaze Lin Xian had cast upon her in the movie theater that day, and even the sensation of her thumb gently brushing against her lips, as if it were an illusion.
After a while, Xiao Wanqing smiled lightly and replied to Lin Xian, “Because I am your aunt.”
She sensed that the girl behind her, upon hearing the answer, slightly lifted her face from her back.
A cold wind blew between them.
Xiao Wanqing narrowed her eyes and added, “And, when I was young, your mother was very kind to me too.”
It was as if she was reminding Lin Xian, but also reminding herself.
The author has something to say:
Shi Man is irritated: Am I a pervert? Why should I specifically call you to talk about this kind of thing? Lin Xiaoxian, you’ve ruined my image, I’ll wash you!
Lin Xian found herself in the passive situation that infatuated people often face and felt overwhelmed.
Therefore, it was Aunt Xiao’s scheme that put an end to the infatuation, not Lin Xian’s confession.