Just a momentary surge of hormones
The call connected in just three seconds, and Zhou Qin’s voice came through. Before Xiao Wanqing could speak, Zhou Qin’s cheerful voice sounded first, “Hey, Little Wan? Have you eaten?”
Xiao Wanqing didn’t expect Zhou Qin to answer so quickly. She was taken aback, and all the carefully planned words she had imagined seemed to vanish into thin air in an instant. She had a moment of confusion in her mind and instinctively responded politely, “I’ve had dinner. Have you eaten, sis?” In fact, she had been sitting on her bed all day, feeling tired and dozing off for an unknown amount of time. When she woke up, she remained seated until now, without even drinking water.
Zhou Qin didn’t notice her unusual behavior and replied with a smile, “I’ve eaten too. It’s quite a coincidence. I happened to have my phone in hand and was about to call you.”
In Xiao Wanqing’s heart, she had been hesitating about how to tell Zhou Qin: “This semester… Maybe Lin Xian shouldn’t come over.” But hearing Zhou Qin’s cheerful laughter, she couldn’t find the words to say and could only temporarily suppress her thoughts. She asked Zhou Qin in a gentle voice, “What’s the matter, sis?”
Zhou Qin glanced at Lin Xian, who had been sitting on the sofa next to her and staring at her since she answered the call. She sighed and said, “I had previously told you before the break that I planned to send Xianxian over around the 11th or 12th. But now, there’s been a slight change. There’s a classmate reunion for Ah Zhan University’s 20th anniversary, scheduled for the 8th. We decided to go to Wucheng for a three-day, two-night trip. Initially, I planned to take Xianxian with us, but when I mentioned it just now, she refused to go, saying she didn’t want to be a third wheel. This girl never gets up early to have breakfast during the break, and I’m worried she’ll starve at home alone. I’m really concerned, so I wanted to ask if it’s possible for Xianxian to come a few days earlier?”
Xiao Wanqing’s heartbeat seemed to skip a beat. She tightened her grip on the phone, biting her lip. The words “not convenient” circled on the tip of her tongue, round and round, ready to be spoken. However, they remained stuck at the back of her throat. How could she reject Lin Xian without hurting her? After rejecting Lin Xian, what would be her path this semester? Would Lin Xian… resent her, hold a grudge against her? Would Sister Zhou Qin think too much? Would she believe that Xiao Wanqing was just avoiding trouble, unreliable, and had suddenly changed her mind, leading to a cessation of their interaction?
Xiao Wanqing was originally a soft-hearted person who cared for others. The determination she had before making the call disappeared without a trace, and she began to hesitate and waver. After a while, she heard a voice, as if it drifted from the horizon, and it answered Zhou Qin, “It’s fine, of course it’s convenient…”
Who was speaking?
On the other end of the phone, Zhou Qin’s voice instantly relaxed, “That’s great. I’ll trouble you, Little Wan. Honestly, I feel extremely reassured leaving Xianxian with you. You don’t know, after she came back home this time, she unexpectedly started showing an interest in cooking, often following me around asking how to cook. When I asked her why she suddenly became interested, do you know how she answered me?” Like any parent who loves their child, Zhou Qin, with a hint of indulgence and pride, answered her own question, “She said that if she becomes good at cooking, she can help Auntie Xiao and Mom share some of the responsibilities when she has free time.”
“You should know, she never wanted to go near the kitchen before. I guess it’s all thanks to your subtle influence, Little Wan.”
Xiao Wanqing bit her lip, listening to Zhou Qin’s words filled with trust and gratitude, feeling even more ashamed. If, if Zhou Qin knew… if she knew what kind of person Xiao Wanqing was, what would happen…
She couldn’t even imagine it.
She couldn’t imagine the look in Zhou Qin’s eyes when she, who had always been close to her as a sister, would be disappointed. She couldn’t imagine the expression of disdain and disgust from Zhou Qin, not even a bit…
Life had already been filled with so many nightmares. Did she have to add another scene to it?
Her heart felt like it was being ruthlessly cut by a knife, bit by bit.
She hesitated greatly, but finally mustered the determination to speak again, struggling to say, “Sis, I…”
At the same time, Zhou Qin also spoke, “Little Wan, I…”
The two voices sounded simultaneously, but upon hearing it, Zhou Qin smiled and gently said, “You go first.”
Xiao Wanqing’s courage, which had just begun to rise, was instantly deflated like a punctured balloon by this interruption. She lowered her gaze, her throat moved slightly, and she whispered, “Sis, you go ahead.”
Zhou Qin was a straightforward person, and there was no need for too much politeness between sisters. She got straight to the point and said, “I heard Xianxian say that you like drinking Oolong tea. Coincidentally, Lin Zhan went to the neighboring province to attend a tea expo before the Lunar New Year and bought two sets of purple clay tea sets. I thought I’d bring them over for you this time. I’ll send you some pictures later, so you can choose which set you like better.”
Xiao Wanqing felt a pang in her heart and felt even more sorry for Zhou Qin. She immediately declined, saying, “No need, sis. If Brother Lin Zhan bought them, it must be because he likes them a lot. How can I take away something he likes?”
Zhou Qin scolded, “He bought two sets precisely to bring one for you. Why are you being so polite with me?” She deliberately lowered her voice and said disapprovingly, “Little Wan, I entrusted Xianxian to you, and you’ve taken care of her for so long without any formalities. If you start being polite with me, doesn’t that mean you’re keeping your distance from me? Are you trying to make me feel embarrassed about letting Xianxian stay at your place?”
She had thought it through. If she gave money to Xiao Wanqing, she knew Xiao Wanqing would refuse to accept it. Not saying anything at all, she knew Xiao Wanqing’s gentle nature wouldn’t mind. But she couldn’t ease her own guilty conscience. She had considered other options as well, but it seemed that Xiao Wanqing didn’t lack any of those things. Buying them without careful consideration might bring her trouble and embarrassment. Tea sets seemed to be the safest choice. Even if they weren’t used, they had collectible value. She remembered that Xiao Wanqing’s father used to love collecting them.
Upon hearing Zhou Qin’s strong words, Xiao Wanqing felt even more ashamed and couldn’t bring herself to say that sentence anymore: “Sister Zhou Qin, this semester I’m afraid I won’t be able to take care of Xianxian…”
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After a long pause, she reluctantly replied, “Then, thank you, sis and brother-in-law…”
Zhou Qin felt satisfied and said, “That’s more like it. Why be so polite among family?” Then she remembered and asked, “What did you want to tell me just now?”
Xiao Wanqing leaned against the backboard of the bed, her heart as lifeless as ashes. She painfully covered her forehead with one hand and furrowed her brow, weakly making up an excuse, “It’s nothing. I was just… I was going to ask if you have time to have a meal with me and Wen Tong in a couple of days. I wanted to give you a gift and ask you to pass it to teacher.” The teacher she mentioned was naturally Zhou Qin’s father, who had been her advisor during her postgraduate studies.
Zhou Qin thought about her schedule and realized that she really couldn’t make time. She apologized, saying, “These next couple of days, I have to take the students to the countryside for a research report on local customs. I’m afraid I won’t have time. I’ll bring the gift back for you when I visit Xianxian, and after the New Year, when Lin Xian and I return from the gathering, I’ll treat you and Wen Tong to a meal.”
Xiao Wanqing softly responded, “Okay.”
She asked herself, how could she, such a shameless person who coveted someone else’s priceless treasure, still have the face to accept the meal Lin Xian’s parents invited her to?
After hanging up the phone, Xiao Wanqing raised her hand and gave herself a hard slap, causing her ears to ring with pain.
What was she doing?
She clearly didn’t think like this.
Why, in the end, couldn’t she say it out loud?
Why, in the end, did Lin Xian still come over?
Clearly, in the past, she had always been able to understand so clearly, that enduring long-term pain was worse than facing short-term pain and choosing the lesser of two evils.
Now, what had happened to her…
Regardless of how Xiao Wanqing tossed and turned over the next two days, regardless of how much she hesitated and wanted to retract, in the end, she couldn’t bring herself to make that call of refusal again.
In the end, on the evening of the seventh day of the Lunar New Year, she welcomed Zhou Qin and Lin Xian.
After not seeing Xiao Wanqing for a week, as soon as Lin Xian opened the door and saw the gentle and beautiful face of her beloved, she couldn’t help but pounce on her, right in front of her mother, and openly embraced Xiao Wanqing in her arms. She passionately held onto that slender and soft body, inhaling the familiar and enchanting fragrance that intoxicated her. She coquettishly said, “I miss Aunt Xiao so much…”
Zhou Qin helplessly indulged in watching them and teased, “You’re already grown up, yet you still act like a child, always being so clingy.”
However, Xiao Wanqing didn’t possess the calmness and composure of the mother and daughter. The moment she saw Lin Xian, she once again confirmed that she… truly had feelings for Lin Xian.
Otherwise, why would her heart be so elated, joyful, and yet so conflicted and painful?
Lin Xian treated her as a close elder, which allowed her to openly express her affection in front of Zhou Qin. But Xiao Wanqing, with a guilty conscience, couldn’t do the same. She stiffened as Lin Xian embraced her, and her sense of guilt and shame caused a thin layer of sweat to form on her forehead in the midst of the cold winter.
She discreetly and slightly freed herself from Lin Xian’s embrace, feeling ashamed and guilty, unable to directly face Zhou Qin smiling face. She just moved aside and grabbed the handle of Lin Xian’s suitcase, greeting them with a slightly trembling voice, almost imperceptible, “Sis, Xianxian, you’re here. Come in.”
Afterwards, Zhou Qin sent Lin Xian back to the room to put away the luggage, while she herself stayed in the living room, engaging in casual conversation with Xiao Wanqing. She didn’t know that every laughter and concern made Xiao Wanqing feel as if she were in boiling water, longing for what she couldn’t have, tormented and unable to bear it.
Xiao Wanqing didn’t dare to look directly into Zhou Qin’s trusting and gentle eyes. She kept her head slightly lowered, searching for something outside her line of sight to focus on.
Fortunately, in just thirty minutes, as the night grew deeper, Zhou Qin noticed that Lin Xian and Xiao Wanqing still needed to shower and tidy up, so she got up, went to Lin Xian’s room, gave Lin Xian a few common admonitions about being obedient, and bid farewell before leaving.
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Once Zhou Qin was gone, Xiao Wanqing suddenly relaxed all over her body. It was as if she had just finished a great battle. She closed the door, leaned against it, and felt almost exhausted. Lin Xian didn’t notice Xiao Wanqing’s abnormality. Seeing her mother leave, she immediately happily ran and jumped towards her own room, saying to Xiao Wanqing as she ran, “Aunt Xiao, I brought you a gift.”
Xiao Wanqing’s gaze complexly stared at the lively and beautiful figure of the girl. In her heart, she let out a long sigh.
After a while, Lin Xian came out. In her hands, she held a brand-new handbag still bearing a designer label. With a proud smile, she extended both hands and handed it over to Xiao Wanqing, saying, “Aunt Xiao, this is for you. I asked Brother Cheng to bring it back from the United States.” She then stuck out her tongue and sheepishly added, “I bought it with the red envelope money I saved before… I… I tend to spend money recklessly, so I didn’t save much. It was only enough to buy this one. I was afraid my mom would get jealous, so I didn’t tell her.”
Xiao Wanqing lowered her head and looked at the pricey handbag on the girl’s hands. After a while, she shifted her gaze upward and looked at the girl’s bright and clear smiling face, listening to her sincere and tender voice. At that moment, mixed emotions overwhelmed her—joy and sadness intermingled.
What did she do to deserve this?
What did she do to earn the trust and reliance of Zhou Qin, and the affection and admiration of Lin Xian…
She lowered her turbulent gaze and forced herself to remain calm. In a gentle yet firm tone, she refused Lin Xian’s offer, saying, “I can’t accept this.” Finally raising her eyes, she looked directly into the eyes that flickered with surprise and sadness upon hearing the rejection, and explained, “Xianxian, you’re still young and not financially independent yet. I can’t accept such a precious gift from you.”
Lin Xian defended herself with a hint of grievance, saying, “I didn’t ask my mom and dad for money to buy this. I saved up my own red envelope money to buy it—it’s my own money.”
Xiao Wanqing’s gaze softened but carried a resolute determination as she shook her head. “It’s different, Lin Xian,” she paused, pursed her lips, and spoke softly, “Even if you earn money in the future, the first person you should share it with shouldn’t be me. It should be your mom and dad. I don’t have that right, an Auntie.”
Seeing Lin Xian furrowing her brows, her large eyes as dark as ink staring at her, filled with disappointment and sadness, Xiao Wanqing’s heart softened. She took the bag from Lin Xian’s hands, changed her expression, and revealed a faintly touching smile. Her voice lifted slightly as she praised, “Xianxian, you have such a fashionable eye. This bag is so beautiful. In fact, I saw it in a magazine before and really liked it. I was even thinking of asking a friend to help me get one when it’s convenient. How about I transfer the money to you for Brother Cheng when I get back?” Xiao Wanqing knew that Lin Xian had already given the money to Brother Cheng, but she just wanted to give Lin Xian a way out.
Listening to Xiao Wanqing’s resolute refusal, her self-deprecating humility, and the clearly coaxing tone at the end, Lin Xian’s heart that was once filled with joy and excitement became chilled as if a bucket of cold water had been poured over her head.
Her thin lips tightly pressed into a stubborn straight line as she stared unwaveringly at Xiao Wanqing. Furrowing her brows, she remained silent for a while before softly uttering two words, “Not good.”
In fact, deep down, she knew that Xiao Wanqing’s refusal was within expectations given her personality.
However, she couldn’t help but feel inexplicably saddened and unable to accept it.
It was as if she had made great efforts and desperately tried to bridge the gap between her and Xiao Wanqing, but there still existed an invisible and immense chasm between them.
Just like how Xiao Wanqing could readily accept Zhou Qin’s valuable tea set but couldn’t accept her heartfelt intentions.
There is also a gap between adults.
She still hasn’t achieved an equal adult status in Xiao Wanqing’s heart.
Xiao Wanqing unexpectedly heard the girl’s cold voice and looked into Lin Xian’s deep and dark eyes with surprise. It was only then that she realized there was an unfamiliar stubbornness and tenacity within the girl’s youthful appearance.
The youth’s features were as sharp as a unsheathed sword, yet so vibrant and captivating, stirring the strings of her heart. For a moment, her heart became somewhat restless.
In the end, after the confrontation, Lin Xian’s rationality gradually returned.
It’s not the right time yet. It’s not the right time yet. Don’t rush. She comforted herself in her heart.
Finally, she softened her brows and eyes, and a smile appeared at the corners of her lips. She compromised with Xiao Wanqing, saying, “I didn’t think it through. I’m sorry, Aunt Xiao. Instead, I ended up making you spend money.” She raised her head, her bright and sparkling eyes carrying a hint of warmth as she looked at Xiao Wanqing, resembling a little puppy waiting to be petted, and coquettishly asked, “So, if I earn money in the future and buy gifts for Aunt Xiao, you will accept them, right?” Her voice was soft and tender, evoking a sense of endearment.
Xiao Wanqing, seeing the girl’s understanding concession, felt a slight pang in her heart. Did she make her feel wronged?
She looked at the girl, who appeared obedient as usual, and wished to reach out and ruffle her little head, tickle her small nose, and give her a comforting hug. However, when she thought about her own indescribable emotions, she ultimately made a tough decision and didn’t dare to extend her hand, to avoid touching.
Almost imperceptibly, she took a step back, creating some distance between her and Lin Xian. She nodded gently, trying to appease her, and softly said, “Hmm, let’s talk about it later.”
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Disappointment swept through Lin Xian’s heart. In the past, the seductive gestures that could melt Aunt Xiao’s heart didn’t receive the usual affection from her this time.
Did she come across as too rigid just now? Did she reveal something that scared Aunt Xiao, to the point where she didn’t even want to ruffle her or give her a comforting hug?
Lin Xian was unaware that Xiao Wanqing was mentally rehearsing, admonishing herself that when she would later suggest separating their study rooms or even eating separately, she mustn’t soften her heart. She had to remain firm and maintain distance from Lin Xian.
She took a step back, engaging in self-psychology: even if they had to reluctantly share the same roof, she would minimize unnecessary encounters and interactions. Gradually, things would surely get better, and the feelings would gradually cool down.
A momentary impulse, most of the time, was nothing more than a fleeting hormonal rush.
Humans are ultimately rational beings.
Once the hormones subside, everything can return to its normal track.
The author has something to say:
Aunt Xiao’s skill is – “slapping face” at an advanced level.
