You are the person I want to cherish
As noon approached, Xiao Wanqing and Lin Xian finally managed to pick out a sweater and a short skirt after much effort. The clothing section was on the first floor of the mall, and they planned to visit a few more stores before heading up to the third floor’s dining area for lunch. They would then decide on their afternoon activities based on the situation.
When they passed by a well-known sports brand store, Xiao Wanqing suddenly tugged at Lin Xian’s hand, signaling her to stop. “Xianxian, let’s go in and take a look, okay?”
Lin Xian was puzzled and glanced at the bag she was carrying, which contained the short skirt. She tactfully reminded Xiao Wanqing, “Aunt Xiao, aren’t they mostly sportswear inside?”
Xiao Wanqing realized that Lin Xian had misunderstood her intention. She gently tapped Lin Xian’s hand with her thumbs, which were intertwined with hers, and smiled, explaining, “We’re not going in for the jackets. I remember you have two pairs of sports shoes from this brand. Let’s see if they have any new styles you like for this season.”
Lin Xian was momentarily taken aback and looked into Xiao Wanqing’s bright and watery eyes. She recalled the brand stores they had passed by earlier and suddenly felt a warm and enlightened feeling. This gentle woman standing before her, smiling radiantly, was always so attentive, considerate, and caring. She silently noted all of Lin Xian’s likes and dislikes. The food she didn’t like to eat disappeared completely after just one mention. The yogurt she enjoyed always appeared in the fridge promptly. When she finished using toothpaste or needed a new toothbrush, they were always the brand and type she preferred…
She had never explicitly said anything, but Xiao Wanqing understood everything, and she kept it all in her heart.
Now, even the brands of shoes and clothing she liked, it turned out that she remembered them…
A smile played at the corner of Xiao Wanqing’s lips as she continued to persuade Lin Xian, “Let’s pick out a pair of sports shoes first, and then later we can go to the store ahead and find some boots that go well with your little skirt, alright?”
Lin Xian’s gaze softened, and she curved her lips, gently shaking her head to indicate refusal.
A flicker of confusion passed through Xiao Wanqing’s eyes, and she inquired with a gentle tone, “Xianxian, do you no longer like this brand? Has it become outdated among you young people recently? It’s okay, maybe I didn’t think it through. Let’s just go directly to the front and look at the boots later, then.”
However, Lin Xian kept staring at her and shook her head. “Aunt Xiao, I don’t want you to buy me shoes.”
Xiao Wanqing’s warm eyes were filled with confusion. She furrowed her brows slightly and gently shook Lin Xian’s hand, trying to soothe her as she softly asked, “What’s wrong, Xianxian?” Her tone was gentle, as if trying to comfort a child. She thought Lin Xian was just being polite.
Lin Xian narrowed her eyes and calmly explained, “Aunt Xiao, I used to watch TV dramas, and in one of them, the female lead’s friend told her that you shouldn’t give shoes as a birthday gift to your boyfriend. She said that giving shoes symbolizes breaking up. If you give someone shoes, they will leave.” She paused for a moment and, seeing Xiao Wanqing attentively listening, smiled lightly and continued, “The symbolism of giving shoes is that people will walk away.”
Xiao Wanqing was slightly taken aback. She unconsciously shook her head gently. She had never heard of this saying before, nor had she ever thought that way.
Lin Xian raised her gaze and stared at her intently, speaking each word earnestly, “Aunt Xiao, I don’t want to leave. I don’t want to be separated from you.” The girl’s tone was unusually resolute and serious.
She used a play on words, and Xiao Wanqing didn’t quite understand. But she could tell from the girl’s expression that she was waiting for her response, as if there were something left unsaid.
Under the girl’s unusually intense gaze, Xiao Wanqing’s heart inexplicably stirred.
What is Xianxian saying?
Lin Xian seemed to sense her perplexity. She tightened her grip on the handle of the bag containing the clothes and took a step closer to Xiao Wanqing. Biting her lip, she looked at her with determination in her eyes. Her voice was gentle, but her tone was resolute as she said, “Aunt Xiao, I don’t want to leave. I want to stay and celebrate the New Year with you.” In her eyes, there was pure sincerity and tender affection.
Xiao Wanqing’s heart, moved greatly as her gentle and sincere words fell upon her.
Lin Xian said she wanted to stay and accompany her…
For so many years, she had grown accustomed to being alone on New Year’s Eve. From initially toasting alone, drinking until dawn, to the later years of having a small bowl of congee with medicine and sleeping until morning.
Since the moment she firmly and resolutely stepped out of her parents’ home, pulling her luggage, it was destined that she would never experience the joy of a complete family again.
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Unfortunately, at that time, she was too young.
She left her deeply loving parents so decisively, refusing to show any sign of yielding. It was because she was convinced of their love for her.
She marched towards the person she loved with unwavering determination, without a hint of hesitation. It was because she firmly believed that Yan Jia loved her.
Then, on that New Year’s Eve, Yan Jia went home alone. She said her parents were waiting for her at home, and on this one day of the year, she couldn’t not go back.
Only she was left, with no place to call home. She looked at the lavish feast Yan Jia had prepared for her, feeling sorry for herself, toasting alone. In the dark night, she kept the TV on until dawn.
And then, Yan Jia left. She was in a bad state, and Wen Tong had been secretly contacting her parents, acting as a mediator. Her parents, in the end, still cared for her. A few days before the New Year’s Eve of the following year, her mother took the initiative to call her and asked if it would be convenient for her and her father to visit the northern area to see some colleagues and drop by her house.
She was pleasantly surprised and readily agreed. She dreamed that perhaps this year, she would have a home again on New Year’s Eve.
But in the end, on that day, they couldn’t step into the house their daughter had excitedly cleaned and prepared for days, a house they had never stayed in.
It was something that had never happened before, and from then on, it was impossible.
In this lifetime, it would never be possible again.
That year, she returned to her parents’ home in the southern area, spending New Year’s Eve in front of two black-and-white memorial photos.
Since then, she dared not return there anymore.
When she was young, she made a promise to them that when she grew up, she would buy a big house and take her parents wherever she went.
Her father teased her, ” When you grew up and got married, you wouldn’t think that way anymore.”
She said, “No, that won’t happen. Wherever Mom and Dad are, that’s where home will always be.”
When you’re young, the word “forever” is always easy to say.
At that time, her father obviously didn’t believe her childish words, but there was an unmistakable joy in his expression. She felt a bit aggrieved then, as she had spoken with such sincerity.
After her parents passed away, whenever she recalled the past, she felt as if her heart was being cut by a knife.
They didn’t believe she was right.
They didn’t believe she was right, ah.
Why did they choose to believe her in the end?
If they hadn’t come to find her, if they hadn’t taken a detour to buy the food she liked to eat, if they hadn’t…
However, life has no “what ifs.”
She thought she didn’t have the right to step into the home her parents left for her anymore.
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How could she have the qualifications to go back there and steal the warmth of the past that she heartlessly abandoned?
During subsequent holidays and festivals, many colleagues, friends, even Zhou Qin and Lin Zhan, pitied her for being alone and invited her to celebrate with them at their homes. But she politely refused each and every one of them.
That wasn’t her home. That was a time for families to be happy together. How could she, an outsider, go and disturb them?
Moreover, being alone and without family, she truly deserved it.
This was the first time someone said to her, not “Xiao Wanqing, let’s go home for the New Year.”
Instead, she said, “Xiao Wanqing, I don’t want to leave. I want to stay and celebrate the New Year with you.”
After all, everyone has their own home. Who could heartlessly abandon their own home for her?
Yan Jia couldn’t do it as a lover. Wen Tong, as a friend, had already gone above and beyond by persistently inviting her to celebrate the New Year together every year.
Xiao Wanqing looked at Lin Xian’s determined gaze, observing how her thin lips tightly pressed into a straight line. Lin Xian’s usually radiant face revealed a rare display of resilience and determination.
Even though Lin Xian was just a young adult, in this moment, she gave Xiao Wanqing the illusion of a sturdy mountain to rely on.
Lin Xian… Xiao Wanqing silently and tenderly repeated the name in her heart. Her nose slightly tingled, and her eyes grew warm.
She gently sniffed, clenched her teeth, and suppressed the hint of moisture that threatened to fill her eyes. Moving closer to the girl standing in front of her, she reached out and softly tidied the girl’s slightly disheveled black hair, as if it were the most natural thing to do. She softly scolded her, “Why are you saying such foolish things? Your mom, dad, grandparents—they’re all waiting for you to come home for the New Year.”
In her heart, there was a moment of unbearable heartache, causing a sour sensation to rise in her nose. Gradually, her breathing became difficult to control.
In those years, there were also people who prepared delicious meals for her, eagerly anticipating her return. Her mother would start asking her days before the school break what she wanted to eat when she came back, informing her that they had yogurt, milk, and pastries ready for her at home. Her father would always wait for her outside the school gate in his car as soon as the break started, even though the journey home was just a little over an hour by bus.
During the two years she was away, how did they spend the New Year?
Xiao Wanqing’s warm tone gradually became tinged with a melancholic sadness. Due to her congested nasal passage, her voice carried a slight nasal sound. “Xianxian, having someone waiting for you to come home for the New Year is a wonderful thing. Don’t let their waiting be in vain. Don’t disappoint them,” she said. “Just like the lessons you’ve expressed in your psychological dramas, treasure it.”
Lin Xian’s thin lips tightened further, and in her gaze, Xiao Wanqing couldn’t discern the profound complexity. It seemed like she was restraining something with great effort. Only her grip on Xiao Wanqing’s hand, unintentionally exerting a painful squeeze, faintly revealed some of her emotions.
“But, Aunt Xiao, you’re someone I want to treasure too.” The girl’s voice was different from her usual clear and pleasant tone. It sounded low and somewhat hoarse, as if it was being squeezed out from her throat.
Xiao Wanqing’s breath hitched, and in an instant, her heartbeat inexplicably became somewhat erratic and tenderly achy. Subconsciously, she sought out Lin Xian’s eyes, searching for that window that easily revealed a person’s true emotions.
But Lin Xian kept her head lowered, her eyelids lowered, leaving Xiao Wanqing only a faint glimpse of tightly pursed lips, exuding a hint of fierceness.
In the next moment, Lin Xian raised her head, and her gaze collided directly with Xiao Wanqing’s eyes. Within her eyes, there was a dense mist, but faintly, there was a familiar sincerity and earnestness, just like that night long ago when she asked, “Aunt Xiao, in the future, can you let me have a look at the person you’re dating? I’ll help you screen them.”
This time, she asked, “Aunt Xiao, do you still believe that one day there will be someone who will hold your hand, weather the storms with you, and share every festive night with you?”
Xiao Wanqing looked at her, observed the constant flow of people passing behind her, and absentmindedly gazed at the display window filled with pairs of shoes in various colors, inexplicably lost in thought.
This place doesn’t seem suitable for discussing this topic, does it?
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However, the girl was relentless. Her gaze was like a torch, and her brows, with a mix of determination and charm, tightly furrowed. Every word she spoke was filled with earnest pleading. “Aunt Xiao, that person just arrived a little late. I’m sure she feels sorry for making you wait so long. In the future, if she comes, please don’t push her away, okay?”
The warm afternoon sun outside the transparent dome of the mall finally dispersed the clouds and illuminated the earth. Rays of light shone through the glass, casting a hazy warmth over Lin Xian. The girl’s eyes were deep and dark, her nose sharp and straight. In the light, the edges of her face appeared fair and almost translucent.
Xiao Wanqing had long been certain that no one would come.
She had long stopped waiting for anyone.
Only children would believe once again that there is a destined person who can lead you out of the depths of despair.
And only children would naively wish to melt a heart that has long been cold and aging with their own hearts, filled with expectations and yearning for the world.
Yet, Lin Xian gazed at her with such conviction, speaking with such determination, leaving her unable to utter the word “no,” unable to deny it.
That day, she responded to Lin Xian, “You’ll understand when you grow up.”
But now she thinks, even when Lin Xian grows up, she doesn’t need to know. She should stay just like this. Forever young, forever passionate.
