For The Rest Of Our Life – Chapter 162

I will spend the rest of my life making it up to you

After leaving Anjiang City, over these years, aside from taking sleeping pills, Xiao Wanqing had never experienced the peacefulness of being able to sleep through the night until dawn. On this night, with the cold wind howling outside, she nestled beside Lin Xian, embracing the warmth of the girl’s body, the comforting scent lingering around her nose. For the first time in a long time, she slept soundly and dreamlessly through the night.

As winter approached and the days grew shorter, the faint morning light crept in. Xiao Wanqing, following her usual biological clock, woke up before the alarm clock rang. As a habit developed over the years, upon regaining consciousness, she would keep her eyes closed, feeling a sense of desolation – the day had dawned once again, just another day…

But in the next moment, the barely audible breath of another person in the tranquil air and the soft warmth she felt under her arm brought her instant clarity.

No, it’s different now. Xianxian has come to her. Unlike the countless dreams she had over the years, this time it felt different, it felt real.

Xia Wanqing’s heart suddenly raced, and biting her lip with closed eyes, she felt a sense of unease. She was afraid that upon opening her eyes, she would once again fall from the dream into an endless darkness where she was alone.

A warm finger landed softly on her forehead, gently tracing along her delicate eyebrows, followed by an arm slowly wrapping around her, patting her back gently, with a deliberately low and soft voice soothing her as if afraid of waking someone in a dream: “Panpan, don’t be afraid, I’m here, Xianxian is here…”

Her girl’s voice was much lower than before, devoid of the crispness of her teenage years, carrying a depth that came with life experiences, confirming that time had truly separated them; yet time had never truly separated them. Xiao Wanqing remembered, believed, this was not a dream, her girl had truly come to her side, her girl was comforting her, just as tender and gentle as before.

Xiao Wanqing suddenly felt moistness in her heart, her breath heavy. She opened her eyes, and through the hazy light of dawn, she met Lin Xian’s smiling and affectionate eyes at a glance. Her lips involuntarily curved upwards, her eyes glistening with a hint of tears.

“Did I wake you up?” Lin Xian reached back to tug at the blanket that had been arched up by her hand on Xiao Wanqing’s shoulder, softly asking.

Xiao Wanqing reached out from under the blanket to embrace Lin Xian’s waist, turning sideways to gaze into the girl’s eyes without blinking, full of tenderness, and smiled slightly, “No, it’s just time for me to wake up.”

The girl leaned closer to her, resting on the same pillow, gazing at Xiao Wanqing. The smile deepened in her eyes, and suddenly, with a slight movement, she buried her head in Xiao Wanqing’s neck, rubbing her cheek against it and gently laughing, like a little silly.

The soft laughter, accompanied by warm breath, sprayed on Xiao Wanqing’s neck, tickling her heart and feeling soft.

Xianxian had grown up, matured and become stable, but she was still the Xianxian who would sillily smile and act cute towards her.

Xiao Wanqing hugged Lin Xian’s waist tightly, gently rubbing her chin against the girl’s head, teasing softly, “What are you laughing at, silly.”

Lin Xian raised her head, lightly kissed Xiao Wanqing’s jaw, moved back a bit, and with contentment in her eyes, said, “I’m laughing because this isn’t a dream.”

A sourness arose in Xiao Wanqing’s heart.

Lin Xian lifted her hand, fingertips brushing over Xiao Wanqing’s earlobes, cheeks, and jaw. Her bright eyes dimmed, and she murmured softly, “I couldn’t sleep last night, afraid that if I fell asleep and woke up, it would be another dream, an empty illusion.” There was an overwhelming sense of melancholy in her tone, contrasting sharply with her carefree innocence from a moment ago, causing tears to well up in Xiao Wanqing’s eyes.

Lin Xian tenderly raised her hand to wipe away Xiao Wanqing’s tears, quickly changing her tone to playfully tease Xiao Wanqing, “My bad, little crybaby Panpan. Whenever you cry, it hurts Lin Xiaoxian. For the sake of Lin Xiaoxian’s feelings, how about only crying when you’re happy from now on, like last night when you held me…”

Before the girl could finish her ambiguous words, Xiao Wanqing urgently interrupted, “Xianxian, what’s going on?!”

The woman grabbed the hand that had been helping to wipe away tears, her gaze full of anxiety and shock as the gradually brightening light revealed two older scars on Lin Xian’s arm, markedly different in color from the surrounding skin.

Lin Xian bit her lip, faced with Xiao Wanqing’s insistent and solemn expression, and chose to be honest, summarizing briefly, “At that time, unable to find you and feeling desperate, I wanted to force my mother to reveal your whereabouts, so I symbolically made two superficial cuts with a knife as a threat. The wounds were not deep, but my skin scars easily, hence leaving scars.”

The incident from back then caused a huge commotion, and Xiao Panpan would eventually find out. Rather than having others at home exaggerate the situation, it was better to let her tell Xiao Panpan herself.

She didn’t want her Panpan to feel guilty.

Lin Xian spoke casually, but Xiao Wanqing still sensed the intensity of the situation. When she initially rejected her, Xianxian resorted to such drastic measures to make her come back. Knowing Xianxian’s temperament, if she was truly desperate to force Zhou Qin, how could it have been just symbolic cuts she mentioned. Moreover, after more than five years, the scars remained so profound and visible, indicating how deep the wounds had been at the time.

A heaviness settled in her chest, her throat tightening with bitterness, self-blame and heartache flooding her. She held Lin Xian’s small arm, tenderly kissing her scars, as if trying to soothe the pain the girl had once endured. While suppressing her guilt, she withdrew her hand from Lin Xian’s waist and gently touched the scar between her ribs, choking back tears as she asked, “What about this scar here? What happened? Don’t try to avoid it.”

Although knowing Xiao Wanqing would surely ask about it later, as she didn’t inquire last night, Lin Xian still felt a bit helpless. She smiled faintly, choosing to downplay the matter, “It was at the end of last year, I was in a car accident on the highway and broke two ribs from rear-ending another car. But I received timely treatment, it wasn’t a big deal, everything is fine now.”

Xiao Wanqing listened, her whole body freezing, unable to stop the fear and dread creeping in. She wanted to hold Lin Xian tightly to soothe the sudden overwhelming sense of unease in her heart, even wanting to scold her for being so careless and not taking care of herself properly. But in a flash, she suddenly remembered Lin Xian’s candid response from last night, “This is the punishment for not protecting you, and also my medal of love.”

A terrifying realization emerged in Xiao Wanqing’s mind, causing her to clench her fists involuntarily, trembling as she asked Lin Xian, “Was it… on your way to find me?”

Lin Xian’s smile faltered for a moment, unsure whether she should answer truthfully.

But Xiao Wanqing understood Lin Xian too well. In that brief moment of hesitation, she already knew the answer in her heart.

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, Xianxian…” Xiao Wanqing completely broke down. She forgot about the cold, got up, lifted the blanket, and carefully examined the hideous scar on the girl’s flawless body, gently caressing it with her fingertips, leaning down to softly kiss it, tears falling heavily onto Lin Xian’s waist and abdomen.

This was not her intention. She thought that leaving was the best choice for Lin Xian; she believed that with the care and attention of her parents, Lin Xian would eventually be able to heal from the sorrow of losing her and move on slowly; she thought that with time, as Lin Xian grew older, she would, like most teenagers, forget about the brief failed first love, enter a new life, and move on to new relationships.

But everything she thought was…

Even though at that time, she truly felt she had no better choice. However, she still deeply betrayed Lin Xian’s unwavering love, and ultimately broke her promise to Lin Xian. She had indeed made Lin Xian experience the joys and sorrows of life too early because of her, made her bear pain and despair prematurely, causing her to lose the innocent and carefree attitude she should have always had.

But from the reunion until now, Lin Xian never blamed or resented her.

Lin Xian even blamed herself, “Xiao Panpan, don’t say sorry. Actually, in the final analysis, it’s my own fault. If it weren’t for my weakness and incompetence, apart from love, having nothing to offer, unable to protect you, none of these later events would have happened. If apologies are really necessary, I have ten thousand apologies to offer you: for my incompetence, for my mother’s rudeness, for your years of wandering, for so many things… But compared to ten thousand apologies, I’d rather say ten thousand times ‘I love you.'”

She propped herself up with one hand on the blanket, half sitting up, looking at Xiao Wanqing who was leaning over her waist, reaching out to lift her cheek, and softly saying, “The past is in the past, let’s not delve into right or wrong, good or bad. If we truly can’t let it go, then let’s just owe each other, compensate each other, and be entangled until the end, never giving up, okay?”

Xiao Wanqing lifted her head, tears hanging on her long eyelashes, gently locking eyes with her.

Xianxian, had truly grown up, matured to the point that it made her heart ache.

She bit her lip, sniffed, her eyes filled with tender affection like water, tearfully and tenderly promising her, “Lin Xian, I will spend the rest of my life making it up to you.”

The girl immediately beamed with a smile. Her round eyes blinked, then she suddenly lay back down, pointing to her naked body exposed in the air, pitifully saying, “Auntie Xiao, I’m cold…”

Xiao Wanqing chuckled, lovingly pulling up the blanket to lie back down. Before she could fully settle, the girl wrapped her arms around her, causing Xiao Wanqing to fall onto her chest. “Not only do you have to spend the rest of your life making it up to me, but you also have to spend the rest of your life with me, cherish me, love me,” the girl demanded in a sweet and domineering voice.

Xiao Wanqing looked up at her tenderly, as the girl’s eyes overflowed with endless tenderness, softly saying, “Xiao Panpan, listen, the sound of my heartbeat.”

Before they could hear the sound of her heartbeat, the alarm clock placed on the bedside table suddenly went off, startling Xiao Wanqing involuntarily. Her pointed chin accidentally hit Lin Xian’s chest bone, causing Lin Xian to gasp in pain.

Panicked, Xiao Wanqing sat up, massaging Lin Xian’s chest. As Lin Xian’s complexion eased, she distractedly turned off the noisy alarm. Turning back, she wanted to say something to Lin Xian, but when they saw each other looking naked, disheveled, and confused, they inexplicably found it hilarious and couldn’t stop laughing.

“You sleep a little longer, I’ll go prepare breakfast. I have to invigilate the exam in the morning, I can’t afford to be late again,” Xiao Wanqing finally managed to stop laughing, getting up to tuck in Lin Xian’s blanket and offering instructions.

Lin Xian refused and also sat up, saying, “Let me go. You sleep a bit more. You didn’t get much sleep last night because of me.”

Upon hearing this, Xiao Wanqing seemed to remember her antics from last night, and her fair cheeks instantly flushed crimson, her ears turning bright red. Nevertheless, she tried to remain composed, saying, “I’m fine. It was you who didn’t sleep all night. You should catch up on sleep in the morning.”

Lin Xian adored her shy yet composed demeanor, teasing her by tugging at the belt of her robe and saying, “Oh? My Panpan is so talented. Does that mean we can stay up even later tonight?”

“Lin Xian!” Xiao Wanqing’s ears turned red as if dripping blood in an instant, embarrassingly pulling back her belt and giving Lin Xian a shy look before turning and leaving the bedroom.

Lin Xian was filled with pure joy, playfully rolling around on the bed like a child. Then she quickly got up, taking a robe from Xiao Wanqing’s wardrobe and putting it on, showing no signs of having stayed up all night. Cheerfully, she bounced into the kitchen like a koala, sneaking up behind Xiao Wanqing and giving her a sticky hug.

“Xiao Panpan, good morning.”

After nearly six years of waiting, she finally got back the chance to greet like this, to return to this simple yet cherished time.

The golden morning light filled the tidy kitchen, enveloping the two slender figures embracing each other. Facing the rising sun, Lin Xian’s tone was light and uplifting.