Are you doing well?
In the midst of occasional large and small typhoons, Anjiang City entered the late summer of 2018.
Just before the end of summer vacation, Tang Mo, who had become a university counselor, married her boyfriend of five years. Lin Xian agreed to attend the wedding as a bridesmaid. At that time, the TV drama adapted from Lin Xian as the original author and screenwriter had just won the highest viewer ratings for the first half of the year. Following closely, the movie version of the novel was about to be released. In order to cooperate with the promotional needs of the partners, Lin Xian agreed to attend related events with the crew when necessary, and also accepted a personal interview by Wei Shi TV, keeping busy.
Lin Xian entered the cultural and creative publishing industry several years ago and gradually learned from bits and pieces of information from others. Before Xiao Panpan left, she had already smoothed out relationships, paved the way, and prepared to escort her. After she left, Wen Tong, entrusted by Xiao Wanqing, accepted the baton from Xiao Wanqing and supported her in many ways, making her journey smooth sailing.
During the past two years, due to her cooperative relationships, Lin Xian had one foot somewhat in the mixed entertainment industry. Without the support of Xiao Wanqing and Wen Tong, this circle became challenging for her. At first, ignorant of the ways of the world and unclear about people, she inadvertently offended others with her sharpness and recklessness.
Later, after taking many wrong turns and encountering various types of people, she gradually learned the way of life she observed in Xiao Panpan: often reflecting on past mistakes in solitude, avoiding discussing others casually, smiling at people to a certain extent, listening more and speaking less, and only making progress without setbacks. She couldn’t achieve the same level as her Panpan, just hoping to reach seven points, not seeking to be overly sophisticated, but aiming for neither accomplishment nor faults.
Later, Xia Zhijin, who had always been mediocre, suddenly won the dual awards for Best Actress at the film festival, firmly establishing herself in the industry. Although Lin Xian and Xia Zhijin moved in different circles after Shi Man went abroad, they had only met a few times and exchanged a few words over the years. However, Xia Zhijin cared deeply about their past connection and began to intentionally or unintentionally support Lin Xian within her ability, gradually broadening her path in the industry.
During the crew dinner before the official start of the movie promotion activities, as the toasts were made and cups were exchanged, everyone became slightly intoxicated and started chatting casually, drifting off-topic gradually.
Lin Xian, pretending to have a serious injury and unable to drink, only sipped on her drink absentmindedly, wondering if it was time to leave. Suddenly, she overheard a female voice asking the male lead under Starlight Entertainment, “I heard rumors recently that your Starlight company is going to change leadership, and the daughter of President Shi Jinglan is coming back to take over?”
Lin Xian hesitated for a moment while holding her cup. Was it true? Was Manman really coming back? She instantly sharpened her focus and listened attentively.
The man swirled his glass mockingly, saying, “I heard the same. Our male artists at the company have been dressing more flamboyantly than the women lately.”
In the early years, there was a widespread rumor in the industry that those who succeeded in climbing the phoenix bed of Shi Jinglan could pave their way to stardom in Starlight. Regardless of the truth, in recent years, Shi Jinglan has transformed into a figure known in the industry for her purity, lack of desire, and virtuous behavior. Some of the newcomers who arrived late, without any shortcuts, secretly regretted their unfortunate timing. With a change in leadership approaching, all of them, young and ambitious, were eager for the opportunity.
The director, slightly intoxicated, reacted to the mention as if hearing a joke, speaking brashly, “Don’t even think about Shi Jinglan’s daughter. That guy prefers women; it’s widely known in the circles abroad.”
“Wow, I heard…” A group of people suddenly became interested and the conversation veered off course, with everyone chiming in.
Lin Xian had already lost interest in the chatter behind her.
On the way home, she leaned back in her seat, her mind occupied by only two thoughts. One was, “Is Shi Man really coming back?” The other was, “Does Xia Zhijin know?”
It’s quite ridiculous, the girls who had partners early on ended up dangling alone. Her hopes vanished, Shi Man and Xia Zhijin broke up, and Tang Mo’s marriage partner was not her college sweetheart. Instead, it was Chen Zhi, who had been single throughout university for four years, who ended up getting married and having a child half a year after graduation, leading a peaceful and happy life ahead of everyone else.
Manman is coming back, Xiao Panpan, what about you?
The record player in the room rhythmically spun round and round endlessly, the deep and magnetic female voice resonating in the dark living room, with tea aroma lingering on the balcony coffee table. Lin Xian hugged the pillow that used to belong to Xiao Wanqing but no longer held her scent, and lay listlessly on the chaise, staring blankly into the endless night sky.
Xiao Panpan… she murmured the name lovingly between her lips, the glimmer in her eyes gradually dimming.
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Are you doing well?
I’m not well. She curled up her legs, buried her face in the pillow, murmured to herself in her heart, and eventually fell into a deep sleep with tears in the corners of her eyes.
At the end of August, at Tang Mo’s wedding, after many years apart, Lin Xian finally saw Shi Man again.
As a bridesmaid, Lin Xian helped Tang Mo, who couldn’t move around easily, running back and forth in the bride’s room. With every turn, she saw Chen Zhi holding her daughter under a flower arch not far away, chatting affectionately with a slender woman wearing a tight waist and high heels, her hair in big waves.
The woman bent down, took out a big red envelope from her handbag, as if to give it to Chen Zhi’s daughter, but Chen Zhi declined. In the exchange, the woman stepped back, slightly turned her body, and revealed a beautiful side profile to Lin Xian, a familiar yet unfamiliar contour.
Lin Xian halted her steps that were initially meant to turn and leave.
Chen Zhi’s eyes suddenly swept to Lin Xian, who was staring at them unblinkingly not far away. She raised her hand, waved, and called out to Lin Xian, “Xianxian, quickly look who’s back.”
Following Chen Zhi’s voice, the woman turned her body and looked directly at Lin Xian.
The next moment, she tilted her head slightly, and in her gestures and expressions, there was a mature beauty in Lin Xian that was unfamiliar yet captivating. Her enchanting peach blossom eyes were filled with a soft and nostalgic radiance as she smiled slightly at Lin Xian and teasingly said, “Lin Xiaoxian, I heard you’ve become a great writer now.”
In the memory of their last meeting that year, they were foolishly searching for a late-night dining spot in the street under the dim lights, treating the lively bars as restaurants and KTVs, indulging in youth and freely laughing and joking. Years had passed, the young girls were gone, and even the girl who used to scream hoarse at concerts, Chen Zhi, was now a wife and mother.
Clearly, everything had changed, but with a casual greeting from Shi Man, a familiar tone, it seemed to bring them back to those intimate and inseparable days of the past.
Lin Xian’s throat moved slightly, and her thin lips gradually compressed into a straight line.
Someone called out Lin Xian’s name from behind. Lin Xian glanced sideways and heard that it was Tang Mo’s mother looking for her. Lin Xian turned her head back to look at Shi Man again. Shi Man kindly waved to her, indicating she should go busy herself first. After hesitating for a moment, Lin Xian made a promise to her, “If there’s no time later, after the banquet disperses, wait for me.”
Shi Man nodded and replied with a smile, “Okay.”
Later on, Lin Xian was indeed busy with no time to spare. While Shi Man and Tang Mo were catching up, she was called away. She only managed to meet Shi Man briefly at the toast.
After the banquet dispersed and the guests left, Chen Zhi left with her child and husband. Lin Xian stayed behind to help until the very end, bidding farewell to Tang Mo and her husband and elderly relatives before hastily leaving.
Shi Man said to wait for her in the car outside.
Sure enough, as soon as she stepped out of the door, the red sports car parked not far away flashed its headlights at her.
Approaching the car, Shi Man rolled down the window and greeted her with a smile, “It’s me, get in.”
Lin Xian silently opened the car door and sat in the passenger seat. She took a deep breath and casually looked at Shi Man, who was leisurely resting her hand on the steering wheel, before asking lightly, “When did you come back?”
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“Just a few days ago. I couldn’t retrieve my old WeChat account and added you on the new one, but you didn’t respond. So, I added back Momo first. Knowing she was about to get married, I kept it a secret for now and came today to surprise you.” Shi Man’s words were casual and light.
Lin Xian hesitated for a moment, realizing that a few days ago there was a WeChat account without a note that added her. However, to avoid unnecessary trouble from comments in her social circle, she no longer accepted requests from unannotated strangers unless necessary for work.
“Sorry about that, I might have seen it that day, but I thought it was a stranger, so I didn’t accept it,” Lin Xian politely replied.
Lin Xian had changed, becoming less prone to smiling. In front of strangers, Lin Xian always smiled very appropriately, with grace and precision. However, familiar people could tell that her smiles didn’t reach her eyes.
Shi Man narrowed her eyes for a moment, adjusted her curly hair tousled by the night wind, and smiled lightly, pretending to be angry, “Sorry? Such a distant tone. Lin Xiaoxian, do you now see me as a stranger? Tsk, tsk, I came back with all my heart, treating you as a lifelong dear friend, and you’re being so unfeeling.”
Lin Xian was taken aback by her sarcastic words and furrowed her brows, feeling angry. She retorted, “Come on now, treating me as a lifelong dear friend, and yet you left without a word, cutting off contact unilaterally, disappearing without a trace for five or six years. Who’s the heartless one here?”
“Pfft…” Shi Man chuckled with delight and said contentedly, “You’re still like this, which I find more suitable.”
She drove the car onto the ring road and they circled around and around.
“That year…” she explained to Lin Xian, “On New Year’s Day, I went to visit Zhijin’s grandmother who suddenly had a stroke and bumped into Zhijin and Fu Zhiqiong hugging in the hospital room. Out of anger, we had a fight, and in the end, she broke up with me. She said she wasn’t good enough for me, didn’t want to be with me, and that being with me was too exhausting, that I was a burden on her path forward.” Talking about the past still brought some pain, but she could finally face it.
“Later, I had a perforated stomach and was rushed to the emergency room. I lay in the hospital for two days without her by my side. I knew then, she really didn’t want me anymore. Most of my life was intertwined with her, in despair, I just wanted to leave her, leave everything related to her behind, forget about her. So, I followed my mother’s arrangement, severed all ties domestically, and went abroad to study, to start fresh, to learn to live for myself.” Pausing for a moment, she sincerely apologized, “I’m sorry, I only contacted Tang Mo a few days ago and found out about you and Auntie Xiao’s situation. I’m sorry for not being able to help with anything.”
Lin Xian shook her head helplessly, “What does it have to do with you? It’s me, I’m just too weak to protect her.” Even though it had been so long, why did just mentioning her, mentioning the pain caused to her and her parents by Lin Xian still feel like a stab to the heart.
She shifted her thoughts, thinking about the woman who had become increasingly aloof and dignified over the years and the rumors she heard about Shi Man at the drinking sessions. Tentatively, Lin Xian asked Shi Man, “Manman, in these years, have you…”
“What do you want to ask? Lin Xiaoxian, why are you being so hesitant?” Shi Man retorted.
“Have you been in a relationship these past few years?” Lin Xian thought of the care Xia Zhijin had shown her, and her solitary and icy demeanor over the years, she mustered up the courage to ask.
“I thought you were going to ask something else.” Shi Man parked the car by the beach, leaning her chin on one hand, listening to the sound of the waves, her eyes indifferent as she casually replied, “Yes, I have. Don’t be shocked, I can’t quite remember how many, maybe about a dozen? It’s nice to gather and part ways, I’m actually quite happy.”
Lin Xian choked up, at a loss for words, unsure if she should tell her what she wanted to say.
“However, once I returned, all ties were cut. I’m single now. If you have any suitable friends to introduce to me, I would welcome it,” Shi Man teased, fluttering her eyelashes.
“There’s no one to introduce. Although I’m not sure if you want to know, but I still want to tell you,” Lin Xian fidgeted with her hands, confessing, “These past few years, Sister Zhijin and I were also in the same circle. She has always been alone. Despite the rumors, the truth is, she and Fu Zhiqiong have never been together. Fu Zhiqiong had a girlfriend two years ago, introduced by Sister Zhijin. These years, Sister Zhijin hasn’t changed her WeChat profile picture, it has always been the one with you, the couple shot. And when not working, she privately prefers to wear a necklace with a ring pendant. I asked her about it, she said it was an unsent gift. I always felt that she… hasn’t forgotten you.”
Shi Man thought that after so many years, having experienced so much, hearing news of her again shouldn’t stir any waves, but unexpectedly, she found it difficult to remain calm. The ring…
She should have long forgotten everything, but sadly, she realized that she still remembered the details of their time together so clearly. She recalled, that night when she was drunk and argued with her, Xia Zhijin seemed to have taken something out to give to her…
Damn it, she couldn’t remember where that box had ended up.
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She forced herself to remain calm, pretending to be indifferent, and changed the subject, saying, “You’re overthinking. It’s been so many years, everything is in the past now. Forget about her. Lin Xian, do you have any clues about Auntie Xiao’s whereabouts?”
When Xiao Panpan was mentioned, Lin Xian’s eyes gradually darkened. She nodded, feeling powerless as she replied, “I can only confirm that she should have been to Changze, Chongan, Guinan, and Yiping. It’s very likely she is still in Yiping. However, I don’t have any more detailed information. Yiping is too far away, with almost no connections there.”
Many things, she can’t investigate further. Some things, money alone can’t access. Moreover, for the privacy and safety of Xiao Wanqing, she couldn’t entrust all the information to others for fear of affecting their normal life now and in the future. She couldn’t use her influence to mobilize online resources to find her.
She could only try to stand higher, to be more visible, so that Xiao Wanqing could see her, see that she had been searching for her, waiting for her.
Shi Man lightly tapped her slender fingertips on the steering wheel and offered, “It’s like finding a needle in a haystack. If there’s a specific direction, it would be much easier. Organize the clues you’ve found in recent years and send them to me, I’ll help you search. Yiping is a bit far and troublesome, but I remember having some friends from that area when I was abroad. I’ll ask them if they have any connections or channels.”
A glimmer of hope ignited in Lin Xian’s heart, and her dark, silent eyes suddenly brightened. She grabbed Shi Man’s wrist earnestly and said, “Manman, how can I thank you enough.”
Shi Man lowered her head to look at Lin Xian’s hand, only to discover two shallow scars on her arm that resembled knife marks. Her expression darkened for a moment, then she pretended not to have seen anything, and extended her finger to gesture near Lin Xian’s thin lips, smiling lightly as she said, “You should smile at me more like before, and argue with me without hesitation.”
Lin Xian glanced at her, seeing her playful and smiling face, rolled her eyes at her, but eventually smiled softly as well.
