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The full moon shone like a huge disk in the sky, distant lights from fishermen’s boats flickered faintly on the river, while towns on both banks twinkled with lights as numerous as stars, creating a dreamlike illusion. The water was calm, casting sparse, slanting shadows.
At a dining table tucked in a corner of the deck, Lin Xian and Xiao Wanqing sat opposite each other, enjoying the breeze and admiring the moon.
Dinner was drawing to a close. Lin Xian swirled her wine in a tall glass, gently clinking it against Xiao Wanqing’s. After taking a small sip, she gazed at the bright moon in the sky and suddenly asked Xiao Wanqing, “Xiao Xiaowan, what were you thinking about during the Mid-Autumn Festival last year at this time?”
Xiao Wanqing’s eyes softened as she watched Lin Xian tasting her wine, glimpsing the exceptional elegance that would unfold in the years to come. She let out a light laugh and answered, “I forgot.” She truly had forgotten, only remembering the familiar feelings of desolation and solitude from that time.
“What do you think I was thinking about then?”
After some thought, Xiao Wanqing shook her head: “I can’t guess.” Was Lin Xian supposed to be having a joyful dinner with her family then? What could he be thinking about?
Lin Xian lifted her gaze to look at Xiao Wanqing, her voice tenderly trailing off: “I was thinking of you.”
Xiao Wanqing was unexpectedly taken aback for a moment, and then, she relaxed her brows and smiled broadly. Disbelief was clearly visible in her eyes. She took Lin Xian’s words as a jest to cheer her up, given that she and Lin Xian had only known each other for a short time.
Seeing Xiao Wanqing’s skepticism, Lin Xian didn’t mind. She simply continued with a smile, “Xiao Wanqing, do you know when I started to realize I liked you?”
Xiao Wanqing’s smile stiffened, she became suddenly tense. This question was one she had pondered countless times in her heart, and because of it, she had blamed and tormented herself numerous times. She always felt guilty, thinking perhaps her affection for Lin Xian might have influenced her. It was only after Lin Xian came to recognize her own feelings that she felt a slight alleviation of her guilt.
Yet occasionally, she wondered if it might have been better had Lin Xian never discovered her true self.
To her surprise, Lin Xian revealed, “It was since that Mid-Autumn Festival, I began to realize how my heart races for you, how fond of you I’ve become.”
Xiao Wanqing stared at Lin Xian, her mind briefly blank. This wasn’t quite how she remembered her love story developing?
Lin Xian confessed, “Xiao Xiaowan, my feelings for you started earlier than you might think. It was me who fell in love first. I’ve loved you, for a very long time.”
Xiao Wanqing’s heart trembled with her words. The profound affection in the girl’s eyes was more intoxicating than any red wine she had ever tasted.
As the restaurant switched to a sentimental dance track, Lin Xian finished the last sip of red wine in her glass, stood up, slightly bent over, and extended her hand in invitation, “Miss, may I have the honor of asking you for a dance?”
Xiao Wanqing gazed deeply into the bright eyes of the girl, a gentle curve forming at the edge of her lips, finally extending her delicate hand to rest on the girl’s slender one.
In this corner of the deck, in their own little world, as if nobody else existed, under the bright moon and welcomed by the brisk river breeze, they danced to the entwining rhythm of the music, moving to the beat of their racing hearts, swirling, embracing, and cheek to cheek.
“Can you guess when I started liking you?” The girl’s eyes shone brighter than the stars in the sky.
Waves danced in Xiao Wanqing’s eyes. She followed the girl’s movements, changing steps, and shook her head.
This time, Lin Xian didn’t obediently offer an answer. She curved her lips into a cunning smile, suddenly let go of the embrace around Xiao Wanqing’s waist, and moved away from Xiao Wanqing.
She walked quickly to her seat, pulled out her small bag, and took out a small box from it. Then, she hurried back to Xiao Wanqing’s side in three steps as if they were two, handing Xiao Wanqing the box and said, “The answer is here.”
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After speaking, she pushed the small box into Xiao Wanqing’s hands and cheerfully trotted off. As she ran, she looked back playfully and said, “It’s getting late, let’s go back to our room. I’ll take a shower first.”
Xiao Wanqing, perhaps reminded of something by her words, started to blush with the influence of alcohol heating her cheeks.
She looked down, curious, and opened the small box Lin Xian handed to her while walking. Inside the box were four neatly arranged seal stones. Xiao Wanqing gently caressed the stones with her thumb, smiling, and quickly caught up with Lin Xian.
When she returned to the room, Lin Xian was holding pajamas. The girl affectionately kissed her cheek before heading into the bathroom to take a shower.
The room was dimly lit. Xiao Wanqing, too eager to brighten the overhead light, impatiently took out her journal from her backpack. She took out the seal stones and seal ink from the box, beginning her search for that answer which made her both nervous and excited.
The first seal stone pressed down revealed intricate patterns at the edges, with a clear “一” character in the middle. In the bottom right corner, there seemed to be a faintly visible design?
Curiously, Xiao Wanqing picked up the second seal stone and carefully positioned it next to the “一” character before pressing down again.
This time, the character in the center was a uniquely and beautifully styled “見”.
Xiao Wanqing’s heart suddenly skipped a beat. It seemed she had somewhat guessed the answer.
As expected, following the order and shape Lin Xian had arranged in the box, she pressed them onto a sheet of white paper, one by one, revealing the vivid characters for “love at first sight.” And in the middle, which she only saw clearly after printing them all, there was a “Xian” character on the left, a “Pan” character on the right, and an heart in the center.
Xiao Wanqing gazed long at these four simple characters, and at the unexpected “Pan” character, feeling more than just a flutter in her heart.
A surge of love and dream-like happiness welled up, making the tip of her nose feel somewhat sour.
How could she be so fortunate? To have such love from Lin Xian?
In this world, there really was someone who loved her so earnestly, wholeheartedly, and devotedly.
Xiao Wanqing lowered her head to kiss the piece of paper filled with Lin Xian’s love, when suddenly from the bathroom, Lin Xian’s clear and gentle voice called out, “Xiao Xiaowan, the medicinal patch got wet. Can you come in and help me change it?”
Hearing this, Xiao Wanqing put down the notebook, her eyes reddening as she smiled indulgently. Without a second thought, she took a new medicinal patch from the medicine box, opened the bathroom door, and pushed her way in.
Inside the bathroom, steam filled the air, and white fog blurred the surroundings. As Xiao Wanqing opened the door, she didn’t see the girl at first glance. What caught her attention was a huge, luminous, colored painting on a piece of kraft paper stuck to the glass of the shower, like it was shining with light.
Xiao Wanqing couldn’t make out what was drawn on the map. Subconsciously, she took a few more steps inside.
The glass door was unexpectedly pushed open, and the map moved away from Xiao Wanqing’s view. At the same time, what appeared in front of Xiao Wanqing was the sight of a girl, her cheeks flushed a lovely red, her young and beautiful body inadvertently exposed.
Xiao Wanqing froze entirely, momentarily forgetting how to breathe, as a wave of heat rushed to her cheeks, coloring them a bright red.
She clumsily tried to turn away, her usual composure lost as she began to stammer an explanation, “I didn’t know you were still…”
Before she could finish, the pleasant sound of the girl’s light laughter reached her ears. Then, a pair of warm, soft arms wrapped around her waist from behind, holding her tightly.
The moisture from the girl’s body instantly dampened her thin shirt. Xiao Wanqing could almost feel the delicate shape against her back. She swallowed hard, biting her lower lip, acutely aware of her rapid heartbeat and breathing in the confined, heated space.
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“Xianxian…” Xiao Wanqing calls out Lin Xian’s name hesitantly, only then realizing how husky her voice sounds.
“Xiao Panpan…” Lin Xian finally gets to call Xiao Wanqing by the pet name she has silently uttered countless times in her heart. She feels that, the moment she utters it, Xiao Wanqing’s breathing becomes slightly more rapid.
Pushing open the glass door of the shower, the map comes back into the center of Xiao Wanqing’s sight. Lin Xian points to the small drawing on the map adorned with long-haired figures and little scenes, and the path connecting these scenes leading to a heart-shaped red house, softly explaining to Xiao Wanqing: “Xiao Panpan, this is a map of me, step by step, walking into your heart. Look closely.”
Following Lin Xian’s finger, Xiao Wanqing sees the scene from their childhood when Lin Xian said, “Auntie, I want to marry you,” and sees the annotation “Love at first sight” Lin Xian made beside their first reunion years later; she sees the time she first took care of the sick Lin Xian, lying beside her, and Lin Xian’s thought “Want to kiss you,” sees them sharing tea together upon returning for the Mid-Autumn Festival, and Lin Xian’s heart fluttering…
She sees, when Lin Xian said, “The moonlight is so beautiful tonight,” she was screaming in her heart, “I like you,” sees the words “Gently leading you on” Lin Xian wrote down on paper…
“It was I who fell for you at first sight, meticulously planning and slowly drawing you in, until finally, you found yourself caught in this tumultuous whirlwind of love. Xiao Panpan, do you blame me?” Lin Xian laid herself bare, wholeheartedly and openly, handing herself over to her Xiao Panpan.
Xiao Wanqing averted her gaze, looking towards the mirror opposite, where, through some unfathomable feat managed by Lin Xian, a heart was drawn. Despite the steamed mirror, it was clear, reflecting both herself and Lin Xian. Facing the deeply affectionate and apprehensive eyes of the girl in the mirror, she slowly revealed a gentle smile.
So that’s how it is…
To love her was a rational choice Lin Xian had made by herself, not after being influenced by her? Xiao Wanqing felt a lump in her throat.
She didn’t blame Lin Xian.
If two people are attracted to each other, even without such gestures, she would have eventually fallen in love with Lin Xian.
Leaning into the wet and warm embrace of the girl, she turned her head to kiss her cheek, whispering softly, “Lin Xian, dedicate the rest of your life to me.”
It was as if Lin Xian had heard some unexpected affirmation and encouragement, her nose suddenly felt sore, and her eyes moistened. Watching in the mirror as Xiao Wanqing kissed her with a tender and enchanting aura, her gaze began to burn with intensity.
Her heart pounded like thunder.
Unable to restrain herself, Lin Xian lowered her head to kiss Xiao Wanqing’s slender neck, her hand beginning to climb upward, replying in a low voice, “Xiao Panpan, I love you. My remaining years are yours.”
The flames of passion were ignited… Xiao Wanqing’s clothes were in disarray, her legs weak. She leaned one hand on the sink, her eyebrows and eyes tinted with a crimson allure, her voice trembling softly as she pleaded, “Xianxian, not here…”
Lin Xian lowered her gaze slightly, bending down to tenderly lift her delicate lover in her arms and walk out.
“Xianxian, your shoulder.” Xiao Wanqing’s slender hand tightly clung to Lin Xian’s shoulder, feeling the medicated patch, bringing her reason temporarily back.
“Love you, I have endless strength.” Lin Xian placed her gently on the bed, suddenly curving her lips, lightly licking her lower lip, moving downwards, ambiguously whispering in reply.
Overwhelmed with embarrassment, Xiao Wanqing turned her head away, unable to look anymore.
In the dim light of the warm lamp, which Xiao Wanqing shyly extinguished without knowing when, the darkness enveloped them. The girl hesitated, making no further move. Xiao Wanqing bit her lip, holding back her impatience, her voice laced with a pleading tone as if on the verge of tears, she softly called out, “Xianxian…”
Lin Xian’s voice was tight, seemingly carrying a hint of tears as well, conveying defeat and helplessness as she anxiously said, “Xiao Panpan, I… I can’t find it…”
Her mind was already a blank slate, the things she had seen forgotten, lost to the clouds.
Tears misted in Xiao Wanqing’s eyes, her slender hands clenched tightly around the bedsheet. Overcoming her shyness, her hand trembling, she found Lin Xian’s, her voice low and hoarse as she gently guided, “Silly, it’s here…”
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It was as if someone who had been lost for ages had finally found their way, or like a fish that had been out of water for too long had at last returned to the ocean.
Deep in her heart, Lin Xian released a sigh of contentment and happiness.
She thought she could die without any regrets now.
Outside the cruise ship, the night wind stirred the grass and trees, causing them to rustle softly…
On the calm surface of the river, ripples gently ebbed, spreading in circles, one after another…
And they continued, without cease, for a long time…
The author has something to say:
Many years later, Lin Xian, with a heart heavy with emotion, educated the youngsters, “What is learned from books is superficial after all.”
Frustrated, she criticized, “What can be done if some people just can’t be taught?!”