For The Rest Of Our Life – Chapter 122

Lin Xian, I like you

Xiao Wanqing finished bathing, quickly blow-dried her hair to a point where it was no longer dripping, then stepped out of the bathroom to see if Lin Xian had finished showering. Lin Xian was not slow in her actions, but her showering was always surprisingly slow. Although they now used electric water heaters, Xiao Wanqing still worried about Lin Xian taking too long in the shower. Once it exceeded half an hour, Xiao Wanqing would call out Lin Xian’s name from outside the door, only being able to relax upon hearing her reply.

However, what was strange this time was that the bathroom door was left wide open, as if it had been unused for a long while. Xiao Wanqing instinctively turned to look at Lin Xian’s room. The door to Lin Xian’s room was also open, with not a sliver of light inside.

Obviously, Lin Xian was not in her room.

Xiao Wanqing frowned, bewildered as she walked towards the living room. The moment she stepped into the living room, she saw clearly the silhouette of a person sitting quietly on the sofa, thanks to the faint light shining through the balcony’s floor-to-ceiling windows.

“Xianxian, why not turn on the light?” Xiao Wanqing asked Lin Xian while she reached to turn on the light herself.

Lin Xian murmured a vague “Hmm” but didn’t give her a clear answer. Xiao Wanqing found her voice strange.

She quickly walked up to Lin Xian, only to realize the girl hadn’t taken a shower yet; she was still wearing that too-formal white shirt. Looking up further, Lin Xian’s cheeks were unusually flushed, staring blankly into her own eyes, a piece of confusion.

Xiao Wanqing’s heart tightened. She subconsciously reached out to touch Lin Xian’s forehead. Lin Xian, however, bent her eyes and pulled Xiao Wanqing’s hand from her forehead down, holding it in her palm.

“Xiao Xiaowan, you’re really beautiful,” Lin Xian murmured with a smile.

The temperature under her hand told Xiao Wanqing that Lin Xian didn’t have a fever. Xiao Wanqing felt slightly relieved, naturally clasping Lin Xian’s hand back, and chuckled without words.

Lin Xian looked as if she was drunk? In Xiao Wanqing’s memory, although Lin Xian hardly drank, her tolerance wasn’t so low. During Lin Xian’s birthday before, she saw Lin Xian also drank a little, and there was clearly no issue at that time. Today, after just a few small cups, what’s happening?

Xiao Wanqing couldn’t figure out the reason and simply thought her tolerance varied from time to time.

Dummy, pretending to be strong when you can’t drink.

Xiao Wanqing sighed softly, eyes full of affection. She helped Lin Xian sit up and asked gently, “Why didn’t you go take a shower?”

Lin Xian pouted, mumbling, “I went in, but felt dizzy and stuffy, so I came out again.” The girl’s eyes held the drunk’s specific misty confusion, but her thought process was still clear, her speech articulate.

It seems the little one handles her liquor not badly, not causing trouble even when drunk.

Xiao Wanqing pulled out her hand, indulgingly scraped her nose. She stood behind Lin Xian, gently massaged her temples for a bit: “Still feeling dizzy?”

“No dizzy now, Xiao Xiaowan you’re so amazing!” Lin Xian grinned, clapping her hands excitedly like a child, praising her.

Even though her face is still bright and beautiful, her expression is both silly and cute. Xiao Wanqing found this both amusing and endearing.

She has never tried to hug Lin Xian. Hearing that drunk people are especially heavy, she wasn’t sure if she could carry Lin Xian. Because she was afraid of dropping Lin Xian, so she didn’t dare to hug as boldly as Lin Xian did to herself. She returned to the front of Lin Xian, only gently helped her up, while walking towards Lin Xian’s room, she cared for her: “Then, have you brushed your teeth and washed your face?”

“I brushed my teeth and washed my face,” the girl leaned on her shoulder, rarely docile.

“Then shall we go to sleep?” Xiao Wanqing was led by her gentle tone, unconsciously adopting a tone used to coax children.

Lin Xian responded with a “okay,” and then, she suddenly leaned on her shoulder, rubbing her cheek against it, coquettishly said, “Can I sleep with you? I want to sleep with you so much, so much…” Her words trailed off as she gazed at Xiao Wanqing with her misty eyes, a clear longing and anticipation in her gaze.

Xiao Wanqing’s heart softened at her look. She couldn’t muster any thought of refusal. Well, she was somewhat worried about letting Lin Xian sleep alone anyway.

“Okay, then be good, and we can sleep together, okay?”

“I will always be very good, I am especially honest when I sleep,” the girl blinked her eyes, seriously promised.

Xiao Wanqing laughed softly, said nothing.

Lin Xian sleeping, is quite honest. It’s just that she likes to hug someone while sleeping, but the movement, is always quite proper.

Returning to her own room, Xiao Wanqing placed Lin Xian on her own bed. After that, she went to Lin Xian’s bedroom to get her pillow and nightgown. When she came back to the room, she found Lin Xian still obediently maintaining the sitting posture she had when Xiao Wanqing left. Seeing her return, Lin Xian’s eyes brightened, and a bright and brilliant smile appeared on her lips.

Xiao Wanqing, all of a sudden, felt her heart moved.

Based on her previous estimation, Xiao Wanqing thought that Lin Xian wasn’t very drunk. So, she felt reassured to hand the nightgown to Lin Xian, advising her, “I’ll step out first, can you change into the gown by yourself?”

Unexpectedly, the always compliant Lin Xian suddenly firmly refused her, “I won’t!”

“????” Xiao Wanqing was stunned.

She sat down beside Lin Xian, trying to reason with the drunken person, “Xianxian, look at you wearing a shirt, the collar is so stiff, it will poke you while you sleep, and that’s uncomfortable.”

Lin Xian’s black eyes swirled around, as if thinking. The next second, she hugged Xiao Wanqing’s body tightly and leaned on her, compromising, “But I’m so tired, Xiao Xiaowan, can you help me change, please?”

Eh?!

Xiao Wanqing couldn’t help but lower her head to glance at Lin Xian’s face, which appeared even more radiant due to the flush of red, and subconsciously, her gaze drifted downwards.

Xiao Wanqing’s throat involuntarily tightened.

She gently pushed Lin Xian away and moved a bit to the side, patiently explaining to Lin Xian, “Xianxian, it’s not very convenient for me to help you change. You don’t need to unbutton, just directly take off the shirt.”

However, no sooner had she finished speaking than she heard Lin Xian with a crying tone, sadly questioning her, “Do you not like me anymore?”

Xiao Wanqing was puzzled and in a moment, she looked up at Lin Xian.

Lin Xian was biting her lip, her eyes rimmed with a thin layer of red, brimming with tears that hadn’t yet fallen.

She seemed extremely sad.

Lin Xian was afraid she wouldn’t appear convincing enough, so she only stopped drinking when she felt a bit tipsy. Her head was indeed a bit dizzy, but her consciousness was clear.

In the first half, she was soberly pretending to be drunk, wanting Xiao Wanqing to lower her guard. But she hadn’t expected that, when she asked Xiao Wanqing, “Do you not like me anymore,” her heart suddenly hurt. In an instant, it felt as if a myriad of grievances had surged to her chest, her nose turned sour, and she almost really burst into tears.

Xiao Wanqing saw Lin Xian sad, her heart felt as if it had been pricked by a needle. She moved closer to Lin Xian, stretched out her hand to gently stroke her cheek, and coaxed her, “I haven’t, I haven’t stopped liking you.”

“Then I am your girlfriend, where on my body can you not look at, why would it be inconvenient for you to change my clothes for me. You just don’t like me, don’t want to see me.” Lin Xian sniffled, becoming more aggrieved as she spoke.

With logic and evidence, Xiao Wanqing for a moment actually didn’t know where to start defending.

Seeing her not explaining, Lin Xian seemed even more upset. She curled up her long legs, holding her knees with both hands, tears suddenly began to fall down in large drops, unguarded.

She sobbed, “You really don’t like me anymore. You don’t let me go to the company to pick you up, at school you also don’t want to hold my hand, after the debate you also don’t want to wait for me. Now, you don’t even want to give me an explanation.” The more Lin Xian spoke, the more distressed she became, the long-suppressed sadness and insecurity suddenly began to burst out, so much so that she found herself unable to control even a bit of it.

Lin Xian really started to doubt, wondering if Auntie Xiao really, truly, didn’t like her anymore. She was really, so stingy that she wouldn’t even give her a bit of explanation. Lin Xian didn’t want to cry too miserably, she suppressed herself from crying out loud, silently choking and gasping for air.

Xiao Wanqing didn’t expect Lin Xian to really notice every single detail and take it to heart. Seeing Lin Xian suppressing her tears and starting to gasp for air, Xiao Wanqing felt heartache as if being cut by knives.

Xiao Wanqing’s throat also started to choke up. She reached out and hugged Lin Xian tightly, kissing Lin Xian’s forehead, and in a hoarse voice, comforted the girl over and over: “I didn’t, Xianxian, I didn’t dislike you.”

But Lin Xian didn’t take it in, her stirred up sadness and sorrow couldn’t be retracted after her defenses collapsed. She became more and more sorrowful, more and more heartbroken, sobbingly asking Xiao Wanqing: “Where did I not do well enough? I can change, please tell me, okay?”

She said, “Auntie Xiao, I am so afraid, I have always been so afraid. You don’t tell me anything, I don’t know what you are thinking. Every day I am on tenterhooks, afraid that one day you might find it too hard to be with me and take back your liking and turn around and leave me. But I am still in the same place, not knowing anything.”

Every “afraid” from Lin Xian was like a sharp arrow piercing Xiao Wanqing’s heart, causing such a deep ache that Xiao Wanqing found it hard to breathe. Tears surged to the corners of her eyes as well.

She took a deep breath, stopping her tears, and gently patted Lin Xian’s back, then lifted her face, which was buried in her knees and crying. She leaned down, gently kissing Lin Xian’s tear-filled eyes, as if kissing the most priceless treasure in her life: “Lin Xian, I like you.”

This was the first time Xiao Wanqing had openly told her: “Lin Xian, I like you.”

Lin Xian wanted to smile, but before her lips could curve up, her tears under Xiao Wanqing’s red lips flowed even more intensely.

Xiao Wanqing’s kiss moved over her beautiful nose, landing on her trembling lips. She tenderly licked and took in a breath, her voice hoarse and soft, confessing again: “Lin Xian, I like you.”

Her warm lips, following the jawline, slid all the way to Lin Xian’s snow-white and slender neck. Lin Xian couldn’t stand it, one hand propped on the bed to steady herself, and her crying gradually stopped.

The woman’s tender confession resounded in the quiet air once more, like a whisper from the bottom of the heart: “Lin Xian, I like you.” Each word was moving.

She lifted her head, revealing a gentle face with a hint of sadness, and smiled slightly. Then, she extended her slender hand, one by one, unbuttoning Lin Xian’s buttons, under Lin Xian’s moist gaze, she buried her head down.

The warm breath sprayed in between Lin Xian’s neck, the soft red lips slid all the way down, finally landing beside Lin Xian’s trembling heart.

Lin Xian’s body leaned back, trembling in her breaths.

It’s like a sigh, and also like a lament. Lin Xian felt her Xiao Wanqing’s arms tighten around her, pressing her cheek against her heart. In a low and enchanting voice, she said word by word: “Lin Xian, I like you, I really, really like you.”

A warm liquid slid across her heart, disappearing into the warmth of their bodies.

Lin Xian clenched the bedsheet, feeling both sweet and bitter inside, a mix of indescribable emotions.

Why, why does even a confession feel so sad?

Xiao Wanqing’s nose was stuffed, and she took a noticeable breath, then slowly let go of Lin Xian. She reached back and with a gentle pull, slid off Lin Xian’s already opened shirt, and then the underwear. She turned her head to hand Lin Xian her nightgown, got up on one knee, and gestured for Lin Xian to raise her arms.

The girl’s body is very beautiful, Xiao Wanqing lowers her gaze to watch, but her eyes are very clean, very gentle. Lin Xian’s face becomes hot under her gaze, but still, with fluttering long eyelashes, she cooperates with Xiao Wanqing by raising her arms.

With Lin Xian’s cooperation, Xiao Wanqing easily helped her put on the nightgown. Staying in a half-kneeling posture, she looks down for a moment at Lin Xian’s still-blushing clear eyes, kisses her smooth forehead, and softly sighs: “But, Lin Xian, I am also very scared.”

“Lin Xian, I’m scared you will be discovered and pointed at by others, I’m scared that one day when you have to leave, you will blame me for letting you bear so much on this wrong path.”

“I feel very guilty, very scared whether I led you astray, whether I seduced you, whether it’s because of me, you have walked down such a thorny path.”

Her words fall into Lin Xian’s ears, like a bolt from the blue. Love is a matter of two people, it’s the responsibility of two people. Happiness is enjoyed together, so naturally, the burden should also be borne together. She had thought about the pressure Xiao Wanqing would face from her parents and family, but she had never thought that being with her, Xiao Wanqing would also have such a layer of psychological pressure.

Who seduced who? Why use the word seduce? Isn’t it mutual attraction?

If we really have to talk about seduction, then it was she who seduced Xiao Wanqing.

Lin Xian frowned and asked Xiao Wanqing in a deep voice, “Xiao Xiaowan, have you forgotten? It was me who started it first.”

Xiao Wanqing obviously didn’t take her words to heart. That was just a self-deceiving phrase she used at the time.

After Lin Xian came to her, she learned that she liked girls, confirming that girls can like girls; and then, it was herself who unknowingly seduced Lin Xian, and finally, it was Lin Xian who also liked herself under subtle influence.

Removing any of the steps in between, Lin Xian would not have become what she is now.

She helped Lin Xian sweep the messy hair blocking her eyes behind her and whispered softly, “Xianxian, you’re drunk. You have class tomorrow, let’s go to bed early.”

Just like one of the reasons she never spoke out loud about, this was her own issue. Xiao Wanqing didn’t think Lin Xian could provide an answer that would put her at ease. Even though Lin Xian is now declaring with complete certainty that she won’t regret it, Xiao Wanqing can’t trust whether her future self will feel the same way.

So, this is an unsolvable proposition.

But if saying it out loud could make Lin Xian a little more at ease, then even if it’s embarrassing, she’s still willing to lay bare her vulnerable heart to Lin Xian.

Up to this point in the conversation, Lin Xian doesn’t know if Xiao Wanqing has realized that she was pretending to be drunk. But some actions, she can’t do when she’s fully sober; some words, she can’t say to Auntie Xiao when she’s fully sober.

Regardless of whether Xiao Wanqing knows she’s pretending to be drunk, Lin Xian knows that Xiao Wanqing doesn’t want to continue the conversation.

Lin Xian lowers her gaze and looks at Xiao Wanqing for a long moment. Xiao Wanqing is looking down, her neck as white as snow, appearing somewhat tired.

Lin Xian purses her lips. After a moment, she forces a smile, leans into Xiao Wanqing’s arms, and says softly, “Okay, let’s go to sleep, goodnight.”

Lin Xian thinks, it’s okay, at least they have communicated openly with each other.

Xiao Panpan has handed the question over to herself. So, the answer, she should give to Xiao Panpan.