Her eyes were not smiling (Added)
During the years she was with Yan Jia and the years after they separated, Xiao Wanqing had heard all sorts of unpleasant things and endured all kinds of rumors and slander. She had become numb to these words a long time ago. You can’t stop people from talking, but you can use your ability to make them not dare to talk nonsense in front of you. Then, you can pretend like those behind-your-back snide remarks don’t exist by fooling yourself.
But facing such malice again, Xiao Wanqing felt an unusual panic and fear for the first time in a long time.
It doesn’t matter what happens to her; it’s already like this anyway. But Lin Xian cannot be involved.
Xiao Wanqing’s usually gentle eyes hardened, and she pushed open the glass door vigorously. Then, her high heels made a crisp tapping sound against the floor rhythmically, catching the attention of the person who had been facing away from the door.
The moment they clearly saw Xiao Wanqing looking at them with a not-quite-smiling expression, the two men and one woman who had been talking behind others’ backs suddenly changed their expression, panicking they said: “Xiao… Editor Xiao.” The woman who was not very mentally strong trembled, and more than half of the water in his cup sloshed out.
Xiao Wanqing heard quite a bit.
She saw clearly; among the three, only one man was from her editorial department, another was a photographer, Xiao Liu, who had traveled with her on a business trip before, and as for the woman, it was Xiao Chen, an underling from the finance department. Xiao Wanqing had a deep impression of Xiao Chen—she had been used by the finance department head as a pawn several times without her knowing.
The finance department head and the vice editor of the editorial department were husband and wife. Xiao Wanqing got along well with the vice editor, but his wife inexplicably cheated on him several times, and Xiao Wanqing never bothered to lower herself to that level. Hah…
With an unfazed “Hmm,” Xiao Wanqing took a disposable cup, bent down, and started to fill it with water.
The three exchanged glances, looking for a way out: “I just remembered, I have to hurry up a draft, it’s about time, let’s go, let’s go.” Saying this, the three clumsily made their way out.
After getting the water, Xiao Wanqing straightened up and took two steps to the side, exactly blocking the way to the glass door handle. She looked up with a smile and said softly to Xiao Chen, who had spilled some water, “Xiao Chen, I saw you spilt some water just now, wouldn’t you want to drink a bit more?” As if making small talk, she extended the disposable cup she had just filled towards her.
Xiao Chen paused, hesitant to reach out for the cup, unsure of what Xiao Wanqing was implying. She stealthily glanced at the other two, who were also guiltily looking at each other, confused.
Xiao Wanqing’s voice was gentle, but her eyes were icy cold: “Drink it. You talked so much, aren’t you thirsty?”
Xiao Chen’s heart trembled. She had heard everything, hadn’t she? Damn it, it wasn’t them who started the gossip; what was wrong with just chatting about it?
During the lunch break, the door was blocked, and some colleagues who came later couldn’t enter. They stood outside, looking curiously at the four people having a standoff inside.
Xiao Chen looked outside, took a breath, took the water, and forced a smile in reply, “The weather is a bit hot, I should drink more water.”
Xiao Wanqing smiled slightly: “Indeed.” She turned to make way at the glass door, walking towards the water dispenser casually saying, “Xiao Chen, I heard you were seen walking and watching a movie, hand in hand, with a man much older than you. Have you changed boyfriends?”
People walking in from outside and Xiao Chen’s group heading out stopped in their tracks. Everyone looked at Xiao Chen, who nervously glanced at Xiao Wanqing and panicked: “Chief Editor, what are you talking about? When did I watch a movie holding hands with a middle-aged man?” She had been in a long-term relationship with her boyfriend, already discussing marriage. She was satisfied with everything about her boyfriend except for his lack of wealth. Lately, they had been arguing frequently because she often wasn’t home after work, and he suspected she might be seeing someone else.
The photographer Xiao Liu, he’s her boyfriend’s close friend.
“Oh, I just overheard it from someone else, they might have seen it wrong. But they described it quite convincingly, saying it looked like the author you’ve been contacting lately. Actually, it’s pretty suitable, profession-wise.”
Seeing Xiao Wanqing getting closer to the truth and the colleagues around them growing more excited, Xiao Liu’s gaze towards Xiao Chen became more intense. Xiao Chen couldn’t help but feel a surge of anger and bluffed, “Editor Xiao, who’s spreading this? Come confront me face-to-face, you can’t just throw dirt on someone like this.”
Xiao Liu also spoke in a deep voice, “Editor Xiao, you can eat whatever you want, but you can’t just say anything you like.”
“Oh?” Xiao Wanqing lifted her cup, took a small sip of water, her lips curling into a mocking smile. Her eyes stared at them sharply, meaningfully saying, “You also know, you can mess with what you eat, but can’t mess with what you say, huh.”
The three of them felt a chill in their hearts, realizing she had been waiting for them here… They looked at the woman in front of them who still smiled, yet her words hid blades, feeling somewhat conflicted. Who has always been blind to portray this person as a mild image open to commentary?
Xiao Wanqing held her cup, walked steadily towards them, and said with a faint smile, “It takes no effort to fabricate rumors, but debunking them is exhausting. You all…” She glanced at the three and their pale, embarrassed faces, then, as if unintentionally, swiftly scanned the faces of all the onlookers, continuing, “Everyone has a mouth, the cost of speaking recklessly is too low. Those of us in the media should know the weight of words, right? It’s better to say less without basis. See, unnecessary misunderstandings are not good. Xiao Chen, I’m sorry.” She expressed her sincere thoughts, patted Xiao Chen on the shoulder, took a sip of water, and elegantly left under everyone’s gaze.
She said this to those three people, but it was also meant for everyone, and especially for the person hiding behind the scenes intentionally spreading rumors. Even a rabbit will bite when cornered.
“What does everyone having a mouth mean?” everyone silently asked themselves. Indeed, no one who has reached this position is truly a pushover.
Xiao Wanqing walked back to her office, and the moment she closed the door, the slight smile on her lips disappeared without a trace, and her whole face turned pale.
She slumped in front of her desk, her neck as white as snow bent down, her hands propping up her forehead, and she let out a long sigh. She questioned herself, was it too impulsive to retaliate against Xiao Chen for killing the chicken to scare the monkey?
But this time, they dragged Lin Xian into it, and she really couldn’t tolerate that. She couldn’t imagine, if she didn’t put a stop to it, how these words would eventually turn even more malicious. Work should be about capability, what does it have to do with one’s personal life? Xiao Wanqing did not understand, as colleagues, what right does everyone have to judge others’ personal lives?
Her hand holding the water cup was a bit shaky. Lin Xian hasn’t really stepped into society yet, nobody knows what Lin Xian will do in the future, she was afraid that she might leave troubles for Lin Xian.
The things that happened in the nightmare seemed to be, little by little, turning into reality.
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Friday night, Xiao Wanqing had to work overtime and came home late. Lin Xian was studying alone in the study until 8 o’clock, feeling restless, and sent Xiao Wanqing a message: “Xiao Xiaowan, can I come to pick you up from work?”
Unexpectedly, Xiao Wanqing didn’t reply to her message, but quickly made a phone call over. Before Lin Xian could feel joy, Xiao Wanqing’s serious voice came from the other end of the phone, her tone was so serious as if there was no smile: “Xianxian, don’t come over, don’t come to my company, I am serious.” She seemed to have taken time out of her busy schedule to make the call, speaking quickly and urgently.
Lin Xian’s heart full of enthusiasm was cooled down as if a bucket of cold water was poured on her, after hearing such a rare serious refusal without warmth from her.
Her eyes dimmed suddenly, suppressing the inexplicable grievances in her heart, she awkwardly said, “Oh, okay, then… then I won’t come over, don’t worry.”
Xiao Wanqing had dodged colleagues who came to the office for discussions and made the call from the deserted smoking area. She seemed to realize the harshness in her words just now, due to her worry and panic, she took a breath and gently coaxed her, “It’s too late, it’s not safe. I’m almost done here and will head back soon.”
What Lin Xian minded was not that Xiao Wanqing didn’t let her come to pick her up, but Xiao Wanqing’s tone just now made her feel as if she was very scared of her going to her company, as if she would bring her big trouble?
Xiao Panpan had clearly not minded before. Now, what happened? Lin Xian felt a surge of suspicion in her heart.
But apart from this, Xiao Wanqing was still as gentle to her as ever. Lin Xian suppressed her doubts, she didn’t want to speculate groundlessly on things without basis.
On Saturday night, Lin Xian and Xiao Wanqing went to the gym together. On the way back, Lin Xian playfully asked Xiao Wanqing if she was free tomorrow night. After a brief thought, Xiao Wanqing replied that there wasn’t anything important, and asked her what was up.
Thus, Lin Xian, with a mix of shyness and anticipation, invited Xiao Wanqing to watch her debate competition against the Literature Department the next night.
Lin Xian’s hidden desire was that many classmates would compliment her after the debate, saying that when she stood on the stage to debate, she looked different, exceptionally handsome, and charming. She wanted to show this side of herself to Xiao Wanqing.
She wanted to reveal her best self to Xiao Wanqing without holding anything back.
Upon hearing this, Xiao Wanqing naturally wanted to agree. She had long wanted to see how her Lin Xian was so eloquent and gallant on stage. But the next second, as if she had thought of something, she hesitated again.
But looking at Lin Xian’s hopeful expression, she couldn’t bear to refuse her. In the end, she still smiled and nodded, agreeing to it.
Lin Xian was immediately overjoyed.
However, on the day they went to the school together, Lin Xian sensitively felt that the moment they got off the car and entered the school, Xiao Wanqing’s demeanor seemed to change.
As they walked from the parking lot to the nearby auditorium, Xiao Wanqing unusually held her bag in one hand and the other hand in her pocket, not leaving a hand free for her to hold. Lin Xian pouted, sensing that something was off. But she felt too awkward to deliberately pull Xiao Wanqing’s hand out of the pocket, so she settled for hooking arms with her instead.
When they arrived at the auditorium, Lin Xian handed Xiao Wanqing her ticket, specifically telling her that a good seat in the front row had been reserved for her. Then, they split up; she went to find her teammates, and Xiao Wanqing went in to wait.
When the debate competition started and Lin Xian took to the stage in her white shirt and black leather shoes, she subconsciously searched the audience for her Xiao Panpan. But after several sweeps, she panicked to find the front rows filled with people, including several leaders from her college she recognized, but there was absolutely no sign of Xiao Wanqing.
Restlessly taking advantage of the host’s introduction of the opposing debater, Lin Xian discreetly kept turning her head to search the crowd. Finally, she spotted her Xiao Panpan sitting upright seriously a few rows back to the right, in stark contrast to the surrounding students. Xiao Wanqing stood out exceptionally as if glowing, her head tilted up watching the stage. Lin Xian couldn’t make out her expression but still felt her concentration.
But why would Auntie Xiao sit there? Lin Xian furrowed her brows. Was there not enough space in the front rows? That shouldn’t be.
But she had no time to ponder further as the debate started, forcing Lin Xian to pull her thoughts back.
The next time she could afford to look for Xiao Wanqing was when the host announced the end of the debate. The results weren’t immediately revealed, but through audience interaction and voting, she won the title of best debater this time.
She stood up to give thanks, her big eyes sparkling with brightness, her gaze intently directed towards Xiao Wanqing in the audience. Lin Xian saw that Xiao Wanqing’s eyes were soft, her lips curled into a sincere smile, applauding for her repeatedly. Lin Xian couldn’t help but raise the corners of her lips higher.
After the event officially ended, Lin Xian wanted to rush to Xiao Wanqing’s side immediately, to share her joy with her. But just as she took a couple of steps, she was surrounded by several junior boys and girls and a debater from the Literature College, stopping her in her tracks.
The fourth debater from the Literature Department, a male student, generously praised her for her performance just then, and then asked for her WeChat, suggesting they could discuss potential activities between the two departments in private if there was a chance. The junior boys and girls below the stage, who came to inquire about joining the debate team, felt captivated by the charisma of their senior brothers and sisters and were eager to join.
Xiao Wanqing sat in her seat, watching the charmingly youthful Lin Xian, seeing her stopped by a young man in a shirt, standing straight and chatting joyfully, watching Lin Xian being stopped by the youthful and admiring classmates at the bottom of the stage stairs. She felt very proud, very proud.
But as she smiled, her gaze gradually dimmed.
Lin Xian couldn’t leave immediately; she was responding to the questions from junior boys and girls while nervously glancing towards the almost empty audience seats below the stage.
Xiao Wanqing was still sitting there, smiling and gazing at her.
But even across such a distance, Lin Xian could feel that her Xiao Panpan, seemed to be smiling unhappily. Her eyes, they were not smiling.
She shifted to the side to let the juniors ask more questions to her teammates behind her, then greeted her teammates and hurriedly tried to leave. But when she turned back, the seat where Xiao Wanqing had been was already empty.
Her phone vibrated just in time; a text message had come in.
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Xiao Wanqing told her, “I’m waiting for you in the car outside.”
Lin Xian looked at the empty seat, and the sensation Xiao Wanqing gave her earlier flashed through her mind, causing a sharp pain in her heart. The unease and suspicion that had been building up over the days, like a snowball, grew larger and larger.
She turned around and told her teammates, “Something came up suddenly, and I have to leave first. We can discuss the rest tomorrow.” Then, she apologized and bid farewell to the junior boys and girls with a smile, heading backstage to fetch her backpack. Without time to change out of her overly formal shirt and skirt, she hurried towards the exit of the theater.
Along the way, countless thoughts flashed through Lin Xian’s mind. The recent abnormal behavior of Xiao Wanqing, combined with the heart-wrenching way Xiao Wanqing had woken up from a dream crying that night, made Lin Xian’s lips press tighter together.
She was walking so fast that she accidentally tripped over a can on the road. Suddenly, Lin Xian felt an inexplicable surge of anger and kicked the can hard. The can made a loud noise and rolled far away.
Lin Xian stopped in her tracks and rubbed her brow, calming down amid the loud noise. What was she doing? Lin Xian sighed deeply, adjusted the straps of her backpack, and jogged forward to pick up the can she had kicked away, tossing it into a trash can nearby.
She adjusted her emotions, relaxed her brows, and walked steadily towards where Xiao Wanqing’s car was parked.
Through the car’s front glass, Lin Xian saw Xiao Wanqing sitting in the car, holding the two clay figurines that she had given her for her birthday, always placed in front of the car. Xiao Wanqing was looking down, her long hair hiding her face, making it difficult for Lin Xian to see her expression.
Lin Xian hurried to the side of the car and opened the door to sit inside.
Xiao Wanqing, hearing the noise, put the clay figurines back on the dashboard. She turned her head, revealing a usual shallow smile, and asked warmly and naturally, “Why did you come out so quickly? Is the event over?”
Lin Xian fastened her seat belt, smiled, and instead of answering, she asked, “Why didn’t you wait for me inside? It’s so dark outside, and you’re sitting in the car without even locking the doors.”
Seeing that Lin Xian didn’t need to get out of the car again, Xiao Wanqing silently started the car, ready to go home.
She replied casually to Lin Xian, “After the event ended, it seems like they turned off the air conditioning inside. It got a bit stuffy, so I came out for some fresh air.” After pausing for a moment, Xiao Wanqing slightly raised her tone and sincerely praised her, “Xianxian, you were quite different on stage just now. Your tone was steady, not too fast or too slow. Your words weren’t harsh but always hit the nail on the head, capturing everyone’s attention. Very charming.”
The demeanor in a debate is actually very important. A tone that’s too aggressive can easily seem like quarreling. Lin Xian’s stage presence was very stable. It’s unknown whether it was her leadership, but their entire team was very calm and refined. Just this demeanor alone, without speaking, already overwhelmed the opponent.
Hearing this, Lin Xian scrutinized Xiao Wanqing without showing her feelings and continued the conversation by asking her, “Then, did I mesmerize you?”
Xiao Wanqing smiled faintly, her eyes like gentle pools of water, softly responding, “Mhm.” Not just herself, she also charmed many, many people.
That feeling, the feeling that Xiao Panpan wasn’t really happy while smiling, surfaced again. Lin Xian’s hands, resting on her lap, unconsciously clenched.
She frowned and earnestly asked Xiao Wanqing, “Xiao Xiaowan, were you unhappy just now?”
Xiao Wanqing, caught off guard by Lin Xian’s abrupt question, stiffened her grip on the steering wheel. She glanced at Lin Xian, whose expression was serious, her smile slightly fading.
After a moment, Xiao Wanqing bit her lip, still instinctively dodging the question. She lightly brushed off Lin Xian’s concern, saying, “No, it’s just that they turned off the air conditioning when the event ended, and it got a bit too hot. So, I might have been a bit upset because of that.”
The atmosphere suddenly became awkwardly silent.
Lin Xian clearly didn’t believe her answer. Her heart sank a bit, as it seemed Xiao Wanqing apparently didn’t want to share the recent troubles affecting her either.
She couldn’t just sit and wait for doom.
Lin Xian looked out at the scenery flying by the car window, narrowed her eyes slightly, and came up with a plan in her heart. She temporarily skipped over the topic and resumed a more cheerful tone, discussing with Xiao Wanqing: “Auntie Xiao, this year’s Mid-Autumn Festival and National Day are linked together to give eight days off. How about we go out for fun together? I saw a four-day, three-night cruise trip from Yiping to Jiangwu before, which looked novel and fun. What do you think?”
There was still more than half a month until the holiday, and Xiao Wanqing had not asked Lin Xian about her specific plans. She was subconsciously worried Lin Xian would have plans with her family like that time during the May Day holiday. Lin Xian taking the initiative to propose a trip together naturally made her happy: “Of course, that would be great. I haven’t been there either.”
But she still thoughtfully asked an extra question, “Did you talk to your mom about it? They might have plans too, you know?”
Lin Xian laughed a bit, with a hint of smugness: “After our plans got unexpectedly disrupted last time, I learned my lesson. I’ve already talked to them about going out to play with you. Since the holiday is so long this time, I’ll go out with you for a few days first, and then spend the last two or three days with them. My mom actually couldn’t be happier; she’s been so busy recently, she probably just wants to stay at home and not move during the holiday.”
Hearing Lin Xian’s affirmative answer, Xiao Wanqing’s eyes also brightened with a bit of luster. Leaving here, to a place where no one knows them? Xiao Wanqing felt an aspiration. “That sounds good, when we get back I’ll go book the tour and look for travel guides, okay?”
Even if it’s just for a few days.
“No need for that, I’ll take care of the arrangements; Xiao Xiaowan, you just need to focus on being beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, and have fun, fun, fun,” Lin Xian said with a laugh, showing her bright white teeth. Gazing at Xiao Wanqing with a tender look in her eyes, she promised solemnly like a reliable adult.
Xiao Wanqing’s heart stirred slightly as she looked at the girl’s clear face, then turned her head back and stared absent-mindedly at the dim car lights in the night. It was unclear how much time had passed when she suddenly relaxed her tone and asked Lin Xian in a soft voice, “Xianxian, won’t you get tired of being with me like this?”
She spoke so quietly that Lin Xian, who was letting in the breeze through the car window, listening to the hustle and bustle of traffic outside, hadn’t even realized what Xiao Wanqing had asked before Xiao Wanqing had finished speaking. When Lin Xian asked her what she said, Xiao Wanqing just smiled lightly, shook her head, and said it was nothing.
But it obviously was something. Lin Xian took a deep breath, deciding to keep her cool and not press the issue.
Once back home, Xiao Wanqing considerately asked Lin Xian, who had energetically debated, if she was hungry and needed some late-night snacks to refuel. Actually, Lin Xian wasn’t that hungry, but at this moment, Xiao Wanqing’s suggestion was exactly what she wanted.
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So, she nodded her head and suggested that Xiao Wanqing fry some noodles to fill their stomachs.
After a few bites, Lin Xian commented that the noodles were too dry for her taste, mentioning her thirst and wanting to drink something. Xiao Wanqing, feeling a bit helpless since she had initially wanted to make soup noodles worrying that Lin Xian would find it hard to eat dry ones, but Lin Xian insisted on having stir-fried noodles.
This idiot.
Xiao Wanqing couldn’t help but laugh silently, standing up to get a drink from the fridge for her. Unbeknownst to Xiao Wanqing, Lin Xian had also followed her to the fridge, and just as Xiao Wanqing was about to pick coconut juice, Lin Xian quickly grabbed a cold beer.
“Xiao Xiaowan, wasn’t I especially awesome and imposing today? So, shouldn’t I be rewarded with a little drink?” The girl blinked her large eyes, gently shaking the can in her hands, starting to act coquettishly. “I heard from others that cold beer is especially refreshing in summer, just let me experience it.”
The more you forbid a child from doing something, the more curious and eager they become to do it. Xiao Wanqing, unable to withstand her soft coquettishness, eventually gave in. She playfully flicked Lin Xian’s nose, indulgently saying: “Okay, but you can’t drink it all, we’ll split it in half.” Thankfully, it’s just beer, so an occasional drink shouldn’t be a problem.
Lin Xian, as if pardoned, pecked Xiao Wanqing on the lips joyfully and then excitedly trotted off to get the wine glasses.
Though it was said to be half for each, when they actually started drinking, Xiao Wanqing only let Lin Xian drink two tiny cups before starting to stop her. Lin Xian pouted her lips, discontentedly swearing to defend the privilege Xiao Wanqing had just agreed to give her. Xiao Wanqing had no choice but to indulge her in drinking two more cups.
After finishing the stir-fried noodles, Xiao Wanqing went back to her room to take a shower. Lin Xian, making sure she wouldn’t come out again, sneaked to the living room’s bar.
She took out two cans of beer from the bottom of the liquor cabinet. Drinking in small sips until she started to feel her cheeks warming up, she immediately poured the rest of the beer into the toilet. Then, she went back to her room and hid the cans in the drawer of her locked desk.
Finally, she returned to the sofa in the living room, slumped down, pretending to be drunk waiting for Xiao Wanqing to finish her shower.
LP: Where did you learn this, Lin Xian?!